Been talking to a guy and just found he's on dontdatehimgirl.com!

SpiceCurlsSpiceCurls Posts: 501Registered Users
He seemed like a nice guy! I googled his name and found he may be a cheater on dontdatehimgirl.com!! Same name, town, screen name.

She could be lying, seeking revenge, whatever. If he asks me out, I think I'll still go just to see what happens. But this is weird...
I'll tell ya what I want...what I really really want.
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    SpiceCurls wrote: »
    He seemed like a nice guy! I googled his name and found he may be a cheater on dontdatehimgirl.com!! Same name, town, screen name.

    She could be lying, seeking revenge, whatever. If he asks me out, I think I'll still go just to see what happens. But this is weird...



    Nice guys don't have women seeking revenge on them.
  • HeatherNicoleHeatherNicole Posts: 1,316Registered Users
    SpiceCurls wrote: »
    He seemed like a nice guy! I googled his name and found he may be a cheater on dontdatehimgirl.com!! Same name, town, screen name.

    She could be lying, seeking revenge, whatever. If he asks me out, I think I'll still go just to see what happens. But this is weird...



    Nice guys don't have women seeking revenge on them.
    Oooo good point. Exactly why I like you. lol.
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  • battinlashbattinlash Posts: 1,850Registered Users
    SpiceCurls wrote: »
    He seemed like a nice guy! I googled his name and found he may be a cheater on dontdatehimgirl.com!! Same name, town, screen name.

    She could be lying, seeking revenge, whatever. If he asks me out, I think I'll still go just to see what happens. But this is weird...



    Nice guys don't have women seeking revenge on them.

    I tend to agree with this, except I know more a few very nice guys that dated super crazy girls. She may be one of those unhinged types that just couldn't take being dumped and wants to ruin his reputation.

    I'd ask him about it, flat out, just to see what he'd say.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    IF ONLY there was such a website when I met my ex-husband. Maybe I would have known what a player he was before I married him and had a baby with him. His ex-wife tried to tell me, but by then he had told me so many stories about the woman being crazy that I didn't listen to her. Turned out she was right. I had to learn the hard way that nice guys usually don't have crazy ex's. They are usually part of the crazy.
  • melloweermelloweer Posts: 2,308Registered Users
    tantrum wrote: »
    SpiceCurls wrote: »
    He seemed like a nice guy! I googled his name and found he may be a cheater on dontdatehimgirl.com!! Same name, town, screen name.

    She could be lying, seeking revenge, whatever. If he asks me out, I think I'll still go just to see what happens. But this is weird...



    Nice guys don't have women seeking revenge on them.

    I tend to agree with this, except I know more a few very nice guys that dated super crazy girls. She may be one of those unhinged types that just couldn't take being dumped and wants to ruin his reputation.

    I'd ask him about it, flat out, just to see what he'd say.

    I totally agree. I know a girl who was so friggin crazy that she would make up stuff in her head, then accuse the guy of doing it, then would go psycho about it. All the time the guy was innocent. It happened ALL THE TIME. Why this guy stayed with her as long as he did is beyond me!
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    I had to learn the hard way that nice guys usually don't have crazy ex's. They are usually part of the crazy.

    Cosign this. icon14.gif
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Why this guy stayed with her as long as he did is beyond me!


    Because he was part of the crazy, no matter how innocent he looked. Sorry, but it's never just one person...takes two to tango as they say...
  • iris427iris427 Posts: 6,002Registered Users
    IF ONLY there was such a website when I met my ex-husband. Maybe I would have known what a player he was before I married him and had a baby with him. His ex-wife tried to tell me, but by then he had told me so many stories about the woman being crazy that I didn't listen to her. Turned out she was right. I had to learn the hard way that nice guys usually don't have crazy ex's. They are usually part of the crazy.

    The same thing happened to my mom. Turns out the "crazy" exes weren't so crazy after all. He was the crazy one. But she didn't figure it out until she had spent 5 years of her life with him.

    I'd stay away from this guy. They always "seem nice." That's how they get women to let their guard down.
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  • gemidevigemidevi Posts: 510Registered Users
    What happened to "innocent until proven guilty" and second chances?

    Most of the time, when people (men and women) cheat it's because something is deficient, either within themselves or within the relationship. And I don't necessarily believe in the saying "once a cheat, always a cheat". People can learn from their mistakes and change.

    So I agree with another poster who said to ask him about it. Get the story upfront. And see what your gut tells you.
    *disclaimer* spelling, grammatical and psychological errors are for your enjoyment. :)
  • YolyCYolyC Posts: 3,758Registered Users
    IF ONLY there was such a website when I met my ex-husband. Maybe I would have known what a player he was before I married him and had a baby with him. His ex-wife tried to tell me, but by then he had told me so many stories about the woman being crazy that I didn't listen to her. Turned out she was right. I had to learn the hard way that nice guys usually don't have crazy ex's. They are usually part of the crazy.


    So true!:angry7:
    Location: Chicago

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  • SpringcurlSpringcurl Posts: 8,002Registered Users
    Have you ever seen a movie called Amazon Women On The Moon? It's a vignette comedy movie.

    Anyway, in this sketch, a guy has to show his blind date a credit card and a driver's license to go out with her. It's very funny. I wish it were for real.

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  • maria_imaria_i Posts: 1,764Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    YolyC wrote: »
    IF ONLY there was such a website when I met my ex-husband. Maybe I would have known what a player he was before I married him and had a baby with him. His ex-wife tried to tell me, but by then he had told me so many stories about the woman being crazy that I didn't listen to her. Turned out she was right. I had to learn the hard way that nice guys usually don't have crazy ex's. They are usually part of the crazy.


    So true!:angry7:

    I have a crazy ex, I am nice.
    (Or does that only apply to men?)
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  • MunchyMunchy Posts: 5,206Registered Users Curl Novice
    Maria, I have a controlling ex. He was "crazy" so to speak. I'm apparently crazy too :)
  • iris427iris427 Posts: 6,002Registered Users
    I don't think everyone with a crazy ex is necessarily crazy. I posted about my mom's crazy ex and I certainly don't think my mom is crazy. I think she just got sucked in by someone who basically conned her into thinking he was someone he wasn't.

    But if I am thinking about dating someone and I hear rumors that he is a cheater and he defends himself by saying she's just crazy (instead of maybe confessing and saying, yes, I made a mistake)--then yes, it would give me pause. I think that is smart.

    If someone has multiple "crazy" exes, that is a totally a red flag for me. Either they are not crazy and he is lying to cover something up, or they are and there is something wrong with him that he would consistently be attracted to women like that.
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  • YolyCYolyC Posts: 3,758Registered Users
    maria_i wrote: »
    YolyC wrote: »
    IF ONLY there was such a website when I met my ex-husband. Maybe I would have known what a player he was before I married him and had a baby with him. His ex-wife tried to tell me, but by then he had told me so many stories about the woman being crazy that I didn't listen to her. Turned out she was right. I had to learn the hard way that nice guys usually don't have crazy ex's. They are usually part of the crazy.


    So true!:angry7:

    I have a crazy ex, I am nice.
    (Or does that only apply to men?)


    I had a crazy one too, and I'm sweet as pie. :D
    I think my not wanting to admit he was a bit off contributed to his behavior. Kind of, if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. I didn't call him out on his crazy , therefore I was part of it.
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    maria_i wrote: »
    YolyC wrote: »
    IF ONLY there was such a website when I met my ex-husband. Maybe I would have known what a player he was before I married him and had a baby with him. His ex-wife tried to tell me, but by then he had told me so many stories about the woman being crazy that I didn't listen to her. Turned out she was right. I had to learn the hard way that nice guys usually don't have crazy ex's. They are usually part of the crazy.


    So true!:angry7:

    I have a crazy ex, I am nice.
    (Or does that only apply to men?)


    I said part of the crazy, not necessarily crazy themselves.

    I have a crazy ex too. When I'm being honest, I have to admit to enabling his behavior. I'm certainly not 100% innocent.
  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Uh oh, my DH has a crazy ex. She was apparently so crazy that one time I mentioned something about living in New Mexico and he said he'd never want to live there b/c that's where the crazy ex lives. Apparently, the entire state is off limits. :lol: DH is only slightly crazy, which is good b/c I'm moderately crazy as well. Aren't most people?

    To the OP, I would ask the guy and see what he says.
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

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  • KCLKCL Posts: 1,663Registered Users
    So I agree with another poster who said to ask him about it. Get the story upfront. And see what your gut tells you.

    I don't agree with this. He might think it's weird that you googled him. Plus why should he have to defend against something any random person could have written about him on the internet.

    Think about it, anyone could have written it.

    i also agree with RCW in general about the crazy ex's, etc...but in this case it might not even be an ex who wrote that about him. It could be someone he rejected or a guy friend playing a prank on him or anything.
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  • DarkAngelDarkAngel Posts: 2,671Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I have a crazy ex. Crazy as in criminal charges and state mental hospital evaluations pending. I will freely admit that I was at least part of the crazy.


    Go with your gut. Good luck with whatever you decide.
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  • gemidevigemidevi Posts: 510Registered Users
    KCL wrote: »
    So I agree with another poster who said to ask him about it. Get the story upfront. And see what your gut tells you.

    I don't agree with this. He might think it's weird that you googled him. Plus why should he have to defend against something any random person could have written about him on the internet.

    Think about it, anyone could have written it.

    i also agree with RCW in general about the crazy ex's, etc...but in this case it might not even be an ex who wrote that about him. It could be someone he rejected or a guy friend playing a prank on him or anything.

    Believe it or not, I googled Curlyboy when him and I first started dating. And I told him about it! He wasn't surprised in the least bit. He was glad that I was honest about what I found (which wasn't much!).

    And even if SC doesn't want to tell him how she knows he cheated or is on that website, she could simply ask him about his previous relationships and gather the info that way!

    Personally, I would tell the guy "Hey, i found you on this website...what's that all about?"
    *disclaimer* spelling, grammatical and psychological errors are for your enjoyment. :)
  • PriscillaPriscilla Posts: 278Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Is there a similar site for "dont date HER"?

    (If so, I better check to see if I am on it!!)
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  • MunchyMunchy Posts: 5,206Registered Users Curl Novice
    Bailey422 wrote: »
    Uh oh, my DH has a crazy ex. She was apparently so crazy that one time I mentioned something about living in New Mexico and he said he'd never want to live there b/c that's where the crazy ex lives. Apparently, the entire state is off limits. :lol: DH is only slightly crazy, which is good b/c I'm moderately crazy as well. Aren't most people?

    To the OP, I would ask the guy and see what he says.

    DH has one that is bipolar and often "forgets" her meds, and has another that tried to hit him with a car twice with small kids in the car. #2 also left several scars from biting skin off of him, including his lower leg and his lip.
    Seriously.
  • KCLKCL Posts: 1,663Registered Users
    Munchy wrote: »
    Bailey422 wrote: »
    Uh oh, my DH has a crazy ex. She was apparently so crazy that one time I mentioned something about living in New Mexico and he said he'd never want to live there b/c that's where the crazy ex lives. Apparently, the entire state is off limits. :lol: DH is only slightly crazy, which is good b/c I'm moderately crazy as well. Aren't most people?

    To the OP, I would ask the guy and see what he says.

    DH has one that is bipolar and often "forgets" her meds, and has another that tried to hit him with a car twice with small kids in the car. #2 also left several scars from biting skin off of him, including his lower leg and his lip.
    Seriously.

    Was the bar he used to frequent located adjacent to your local psychiatric ward? :tongue5:
    If there were more people on earth who desired their own happiness more than the unhappiness of others we would have a paradise ~ Bertrand Russell
  • KCLKCL Posts: 1,663Registered Users
    gemidevi wrote: »
    KCL wrote: »
    So I agree with another poster who said to ask him about it. Get the story upfront. And see what your gut tells you.

    I don't agree with this. He might think it's weird that you googled him. Plus why should he have to defend against something any random person could have written about him on the internet.

    Think about it, anyone could have written it.

    i also agree with RCW in general about the crazy ex's, etc...but in this case it might not even be an ex who wrote that about him. It could be someone he rejected or a guy friend playing a prank on him or anything.

    Believe it or not, I googled Curlyboy when him and I first started dating. And I told him about it! He wasn't surprised in the least bit. He was glad that I was honest about what I found (which wasn't much!).

    And even if SC doesn't want to tell him how she knows he cheated or is on that website, she could simply ask him about his previous relationships and gather the info that way!

    Personally, I would tell the guy "Hey, i found you on this website...what's that all about?"

    Well if she says it the right way, it might not bother him.

    I just think she could come off as a little crazy herself if he feels like he has to answer for something written on the internet by god knows who about something he may or may not have done long before he met this particular girl.
    If there were more people on earth who desired their own happiness more than the unhappiness of others we would have a paradise ~ Bertrand Russell
  • MunchyMunchy Posts: 5,206Registered Users Curl Novice
    KCL wrote: »
    Munchy wrote: »
    Bailey422 wrote: »
    Uh oh, my DH has a crazy ex. She was apparently so crazy that one time I mentioned something about living in New Mexico and he said he'd never want to live there b/c that's where the crazy ex lives. Apparently, the entire state is off limits. :lol: DH is only slightly crazy, which is good b/c I'm moderately crazy as well. Aren't most people?

    To the OP, I would ask the guy and see what he says.

    DH has one that is bipolar and often "forgets" her meds, and has another that tried to hit him with a car twice with small kids in the car. #2 also left several scars from biting skin off of him, including his lower leg and his lip.
    Seriously.

    Was the bar he used to frequent located adjacent to your local psychiatric ward? :tongue5:

    That would explain a lot, but surprisingly, no. :angry7:
  • LucilleLucille Posts: 588Registered Users
    Most of the women I've known to be called "crazy" by their man/ex-man were driven to crazy by the man. Seriously.
  • luvmylocsluvmylocs Posts: 7,578Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    i'd ask him about it but i would be so nervous that i probably wouldn't want to take it further. for someone to go through all that to put him on the site is strange. he could have made a bad choice w/ the girl and she could be "crazy" but who knows. even when i dated a crazy one i never wanted to put him on a website, i was too embarrassed and ashamed about all the drama even though he was really emotionally unhealthy. you have to wonder what makes people want to post someone on a website...i don't know. his reaction to your questions will be very telling...
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  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    It goes both ways. I've known plenty of crazy women who needed no help from guys to get that way. I can think of quite a few common and "acceptable" things that women do that IMO could drive men crazy. Men don't have the market on lies, cheating, crazy, or being jerks. You know if this was about stereotyping women people would be jumping through the roofs, but still people seem to think that it's ok to do the same to men.
  • HeatherNicoleHeatherNicole Posts: 1,316Registered Users
    I'm a firm believer that most women don't just become crazy. The guy is usually doing something to instigate it. My ex apparently had 2 crazy exes and I ended up acting out a bit too. And I finally just said to him you are the reason why these women are the way they are. You're making them crazy. You're a sociopath.

    To the OP, definitely just ask him. Don't ignore it though. If he seems shady that's a good sign he probably has a reason to be on the site.
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  • Gemini13Gemini13 Posts: 5,000Registered Users
    Munchy wrote: »
    Maria, I have a controlling ex. He was "crazy" so to speak. I'm apparently crazy too :)

    Oh geez, I had a crazy, controlling ex too. He seriously could have used some kind of therapy, counseling, drugs, whatever! Actually, he did drive me kind of crazy for a while, thankfully I eventually got over it...
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