The BC and your mate? what to do

queenb151322queenb151322 Registered Users Posts: 4
My fiance doesn't want me to cut my hair. He saids I'll lose some of my beauty by doing so but my hair is so damaged that I feel I have to and the growth it's only like 4 1/2 inches long. How can I convince him or show him cute curly short styles for us to choose from. I was thinking of getting a cute layered bob look but am not sure.

Comments

  • cclark1cclark1 Registered Users Posts: 346
    My fiance doesn't want me to cut my hair. He saids I'll lose some of my beauty by doing so but my hair is so damaged that I feel I have to and the growth it's only like 4 1/2 inches long. How can I convince him or show him cute curly short styles for us to choose from. I was thinking of getting a cute layered bob look but am not sure.

    My husband wouldn't be crazy about me BCing either. And neither would I to be honest with you. But if get a short straight bob, you're going to have to put heat on it consistently to keep that look. Which in term will damage your hair again. 4 1/2 inches is a good start. How long have you been transitioning? I'd start looking through short hair magazines and the photo gallery on this website. You're bound to find something that suits you both.HTH!
    Dare to be......remarkable!!!
  • Flower princessFlower princess Registered Users Posts: 608
    You can give him some ex.like Halle berry that sometimes cut's her hair but she still look beautiful.Here is a picture of her:http://www.beautyriot.com/HTML/HAIR_Berry_Halle_01.html
    All Hair is Good Hair!

    It's Not What's ON Your Head, But What's IN Your Head!

    Please join/follow my new blog http://vividthoughtsofglory.blogspot.com/
  • mikievoramikievora Registered Users Posts: 83
    while physical attraction is important to any relationship, like that one singer said, you are not your hair. your body, your moves, your personality, sensuality, intellect, wit, etc are not intrinsically linked to what your hair looks like. this is a decision youve got to make for you, please dont hang on to damaged hair that makes you feel bad or stresses you or takes up too much of your time because someone else wants you to. trust me, if hes marrying you, hes really about you, so hes gonna see your beauty anyway. and sometimes, guys just talk stuff they dont know about. my bf really didnt want me doing my bc, but i did it anyway, and now he likes it. showing him some fotos are a good idea, but dont wait for his approval.
    Frizz Central!
  • mariag002mariag002 Registered Users Posts: 3,557 Curl Neophyte
    My husband HATES short hair on me, but I warned him for months it was bound to happen. I would bring it up in conversation and explain to him WHY I had to cut it and what it meant to me. He was very open and understanding. I'm not 100% sure he likes the length I have now, but he's good at keeping his feelings to himself. Once in a while he'll ask me something stupid like "are you done with the nappy thing you're doing?" :tongue5:

    Start by trimming it slowly, few inches here and there, and maybe when you cut a significant amount of hair he won't hate the idea so much.
    - Maria

    Big Chop: 9/23/07
    Relaxer free for almost 5 years!

  • E.B.E.B. Registered Users Posts: 158
    I've seen a lot of cute curly short styles in fotki albums. Maybe you'll see one in someone's fotki. You'll be just as beautiful as you are now after you cut your hair!
  • akilamoniqueakilamonique Registered Users Posts: 302
    My husband loved my hair long, and HATES short hair. But I cut it anyway. It was necessary, and he just has to deal with it for a little while. Hair will grow back. I reminded him that I don't always like what he does with his hair, clothes etc.
    ACV Rinse 2-3 times a week
    Nature's Gate Biotin Conditioner
    Curly Kinks: Satin Root, Coil Jam
    Castor oil on scalp
  • mslanee1mslanee1 Registered Users Posts: 439
    mikievora wrote: »
    while physical attraction is important to any relationship, like that one singer said, you are not your hair. your body, your moves, your personality, sensuality, intellect, wit, etc are not intrinsically linked to what your hair looks like. this is a decision youve got to make for you, please dont hang on to damaged hair that makes you feel bad or stresses you or takes up too much of your time because someone else wants you to. trust me, if hes marrying you, hes really about you, so hes gonna see your beauty anyway. and sometimes, guys just talk stuff they dont know about. my bf really didnt want me doing my bc, but i did it anyway, and now he likes it. showing him some fotos are a good idea, but dont wait for his approval.

    Amen to that! This is not about him or about what he thinks. This is about you. This is his opportunity to show is support and unconditional love for you while you do something for yourself. Believe me, if you are marrying him. There will be plently of times for you to return the favor. Attraction is more than skin deep. Having a woman that is strong and confident regardless, can be very sexy to men. Plus at the end of the day, hair grows back.

    I would not suggest cutting your hair to just have to use tons of heat on it though. If you are going to BC, just BC and take the time to work with your natural hair and learn to love it and what to do with it as it grows.
    CURRENT PRODUCTS: Oyin Honey Hemp, Honey Wash, Burnt Sugar Pomade, Shine and Define, and Whipped Pudding. Also loving HH Hello Hydration and HENNA!



  • subbrocksubbrock Registered Users Posts: 8,212
    back when i BC'ed my boyfriend at the time wasnt unsupportive but he did tell me that he preferred my hair straight and long. which of course he has a right to his opinion, but at the end of the day i didnt really give a crap.
    he didnt say that he found me any less attractive on a whole but he did prefer my "old hair." you cant make your fiance be attracted to anything hes not, but if he loves you your hairstyle shouldnt change his feelings for you.
  • jenniferohjennyjenniferohjenny Registered Users Posts: 29
    My SO does not want me to BC either so I'm transitioning. I don't care either way. If your hair is as damaged as you say, do a lot of varying protective styles, wigs, weaves, etc. A simple baggy and bun should carry you through the rough times. For me I only do cornrows. I'm transitioning for the second time but this time I am not using any heat so no blow drys or flat irons. Since my man won't let me cut, this is what I'm doing until my natural hair is the same length as my hair is now. He is quite happy with this arrangement. His thing is NO CUTTING, NO SHORT HAIR LOLOLOLOL!!! :laughing5:
    My hair album: http://members.fotki.com/jenniferohjenny/about/
    updated 2/23/08


    Last relaxer: November 1, 2007 4PM
    Currently transitioning back to natural
    Length: shoulder
    Texture: allegedly 4b, fine, more wavy than curly

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