CurlTalk

Returning to the "R"

girlgcgirlgc Posts: 55Registered Users
I hate to admit this, but I do sometimes think about going back to a relaxer. Not that I really liked it, but sometimes I get so frustrated with my hair because I cannot control it, I have these "dirty" thoughts....

Comments

  • nubiancurlynubiancurly Posts: 11Registered Users
    Maybe you're getting frustrated, because you are trying to make your hair do something it doesn't want to do? I don't know if you are just ranting or you want suggestions. If you are just ranting, then disregard. If you want suggestions, what are you doing to your hair.
  • L1S1L1S1 Posts: 91Registered Users
    We all have those thoughts. They are natural. Whether you decide to relax or not, the decision is yours. When it comes down to it, we all want to look the best that we can and find a simple routine to get us there.

    Sometime we need a change. We want to look different, try different style, colors etc. Never let anyone or any group make you feel that changing the texture of your hair is wrong. Embrace your inner voice and do what is best for you.
  • sitasita Posts: 17Registered Users
    NNothing will ever make me ever go back to a relaxer,i like my natural hair the way it is now all i have to do is find a good moisture leave in for my hair.
    I tried [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Oyin-Handmade-Greg-Juice-p-190.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=oyin-greg-juice-nourishing-herbal-leavein]greg juice[/buylink] and it didn't give me the moisture my hair wanted,now i have to look further for another product .


    any suggestions ?you can share them with me.
  • sitasita Posts: 17Registered Users
    Nothing will ever make me go back to a relaxer,i like my natural hair the way it is now all i have to do is find a good moisture leave in for my hair.
    I tried [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Oyin-Handmade-Greg-Juice-p-190.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=oyin-greg-juice-nourishing-herbal-leavein]greg juice[/buylink] and it didn't give me the moisture my hair wanted,now i have to look further for another product .


    any suggestions ?you can share them with me.
  • msjokermsjoker Posts: 1,658Registered Users
    Don't feel bad. I'm sure at one time or another a number of us felt the same way you do.
    "It moisturizes my situation... preserves my sexy."
  • travelgirltravelgirl Posts: 71Registered Users
    Lately, I being feeling the same way, I think that I'm still trying to find out what products work best for my hair. I think that I may have some scab hair or something because each time I get my hair trimmed I notice in some places that part of it is different. Part of my hair curl and a very defined look to it and the other part has frizzy, wiry ends that seem to do their own thing, this is after getting it trimmed. I think that is adding to how I feel. I can use a product one day and my hair looks great but the next day it will look the opposite. I know that you have to kiss a lot of "frogs" before you find your "prince" but I did't think that it would take so long.
    BC: 03/26/05
    CW and no oil
    O with some S
  • girlgcgirlgc Posts: 55Registered Users
    Travelgirl, I know what you mean....

    My hair is the same way. It's wiry in the crown and has great definition in the back and on the sides. I guess the other thing that makes me jealous is that those with straight hair have what appears to be longer hair. My hair is so kinky until it strinks to half the length. I put my hair in twists and people think I had cut my hair it shrank so much.

    I also have the same problem...the product that works today may not work tomorrow.
  • Rastacurl RevisitedRastacurl Revisited Posts: 104Registered Users
    If you wanna return to the R, you have my full support. IT's only hair after all and there's no point in your being unhappy. If I wasn't 100% happy wiht my natural hair I'd relax the sh*t out of it in a minute or maybe even throw in a Destiny's Child-style weave. Hey, why not? Life's too short
    Supernappy, superbad, "when are you gonna put a relaxer up in that mess?"shrinking breaking TYPE 5 hair that - against all the odds - is growing quite long :)
  • lovewsoullovewsoul Posts: 4Registered Users
    I do say do what you want. On the other hand, I realized (for me) that it took a while to grow my hair natural. I really didn't think about what I wanted because I saw others who were relaxed with long hair. I use to look at them and thought it would be so m uch easier but then again look how far I have come.

    So what I did was just decide to aim for healthy hair rather than long and curl defined hair. Sure I would like that but it will take time. Yes others may have that instantly but maybe not you. I know I did not. Some days my hair is well defined and others days it's just one big poof. I just go along with it and make it look cute :P Yes there is a trial and error process but it is well worth it. At times the simplest things will work wonders. Key is to get products with good ingredients for cheap also.

    Just remember to moisturize, trim, clarify, a little goes a long way. Well I hope that everything works out.
  • blaqpearlblaqpearl Posts: 310Registered Users
    I said I should perm the other day. I have no idea what to do with all this hair. But I dismissed the thought qickly. Today is my one year aniversary of my last perm (just realized this) and I still have at least another year to go until I feel comfortable with my length once again. I look forward to the adventure.
    I have kinks, coils and curls on this head.
    Certified PJ. I need rehab.
    Hair Album
    Last update 1/1/07
  • Curlee QCurlee Q Posts: 523Registered Users
    I was thinking the same thing about maybe a weave or braids. Just to make sure that you do want to take the path of a relaxer, it is only hair, but as we all know once its relaxed there is no going back without a transition or bc. Maybe try a texturizer before going all the way :lol:
  • zsazsazsazsa Posts: 85Registered Users
    My friends Mother brought the relaxer topic up just the other day!
    She told me how blessed I am to have naturally curly hair.
    She says that she spends so many hours and so much money on hair care. She brought it to my attention that she has to have her hair done weekly. She spends her Saturday mornings in the salon.
    She usually arrives around 8 am and does not leave until 10-11, and on the color/ relaxer days she leaves even later.
    Sometimes she gets a rollerset/style on Sat. and by Tues. its gone!
    A relaxer is $65, a style is $30, and color is $40!
    After talking with her, I do feel blessed :D
    PASSWORD: DAN-DAN
  • niclarniclar Posts: 110Registered Users
    There's nothing wrong with thinking that way..we all haev our moments Im sure at one point or another. For me whan I have that thought I think of my hair when it was permed compared to now. Im sure with the knowledge I have now that I could have healthy permed hair but since I know my texture I also know that its weak when relaxed and limp....Now that I rambled about me my point is do whats best for you and what will make you happy. Thats all that matters in the end
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fnicolelarri%2F2008%2F" class="Popup

    PW: lovely
    Natural 4a/some 4b type hair, Thin, cottony coffee straw coils

    Thought I found my HG (KKCC)..its good but Im sure there's better:wink:

    Curls Milkshake current leave in, Fantasia IC w/Olive Oil gel for smoothing/shine, Curls Goddess Glaze for Twist/Braid outs.
  • niclarniclar Posts: 110Registered Users
    There's nothing wrong with thinking that way..we all haev our moments Im sure at one point or another. For me whan I have that thought I think of my hair when it was permed compared to now. Im sure with the knowledge I have now that I could have healthy permed hair but since I know my texture I also know that its weak when relaxed and limp....Now that I rambled about me my point is do whats best for you and what will make you happy. Thats all that matters in the end
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fnicolelarri%2F2008%2F" class="Popup

    PW: lovely
    Natural 4a/some 4b type hair, Thin, cottony coffee straw coils

    Thought I found my HG (KKCC)..its good but Im sure there's better:wink:

    Curls Milkshake current leave in, Fantasia IC w/Olive Oil gel for smoothing/shine, Curls Goddess Glaze for Twist/Braid outs.
  • Rastacurl RevisitedRastacurl Revisited Posts: 104Registered Users
    zsazsa wrote:
    My friends Mother brought the relaxer topic up just the other day!
    She told me how blessed I am to have naturally curly hair.
    She says that she spends so many hours and so much money on hair care. She brought it to my attention that she has to have her hair done weekly. She spends her Saturday mornings in the salon.

    Um, don't all Type 4 people have naturally curly hair? Nobody NEEDS to use relaxer.... So I don't see your or her point. How are you any more or less blessed than any other Type 4 person?
    Supernappy, superbad, "when are you gonna put a relaxer up in that mess?"shrinking breaking TYPE 5 hair that - against all the odds - is growing quite long :)
  • zsazsazsazsa Posts: 85Registered Users
    The point is not to say I'm anymore nor less than anyone else!

    The point is not having to spend countless hours and money on salon services.
    PASSWORD: DAN-DAN
  • AsjaChyldAsjaChyld Posts: 111Registered Users
    First of all, I totally sympathize. As a matter of fact, I'm going to a convention and I'm costuming and I'm thinking..."Dang...my hair is gonna be so frustrating!" I was walking the mall thinking of this and discussing it with my significant other when someone ran up to me.

    Two sistas with straight hair, one had shoulder length hair. The other a too cute bob. "Excuse me," said shoulder length chick. "What do you do to your hair because its awesome!" (Did I mention I was having a bad hair day?)

    I kid you not. I replied. "I cut it off and started from scratch." My bf piped in. "She has cards if you want the website." (Because I am INFAMOUS for handing out Curl Ambassador cards)

    It made my night. I decided that for the convention, I'll flat twist my hair and wear a wig or a fall for certain looks. Its my compromise. My hair has been repressed too long. Besides, plenty of "R" girls wear wigs/falls/weaves anyway ^_^
    Asja
    Hair:
    4A (some 3C-ish in front)
    Thick, coarse, & UTTERLY unruly
    Hair Album: /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fasjachyld" class="Popup
    Password: ncgirl Latest Pics: Nov 05
  • girlgcgirlgc Posts: 55Registered Users
    Thanks ladies. Very interesting....

    I guess its also hard when my parents always want to know when am I going to "do something with my hair." I sometimes fantasize about going back, but I am not sure I could do that. My hair is healthier since it has been natural and I am able to save money (no more touch ups every 6-8 weeks). I guess if I had learned how to style my hair and do something nice with it, I wouldn't think about relaxers.

    I don't think I will go back. I think I'd rather have the short fro again than to go back to the relaxer....
  • lovewsoullovewsoul Posts: 4Registered Users
    girlgc wrote:
    I guess its also hard when my parents always want to know when am I going to "do something with my hair."

    I know how that is, especially coming from your parents. Mine did the same thing, I know my dad said it more than my mom. Anyway, you just have to stay strong and find out about your hair. Don't fight it but love it. I ususally came up with something to say about my hair. I remember saying "If God wanted me to have straight hair, I would have ben born with it (or sometimes "I would have been born with a lifetime supply of relaxer)"

    It will all be ok. Just let them know that this is how your hair will be and you like it that way. :D
  • girlgcgirlgc Posts: 55Registered Users
    Thanks for the encouragement. Every time I say something bad about my hair, I always try to remember that there are ladies with alopecia that would love to have hair...any kind of hair. I am grateful to God that even though my hair and I don't always get along, thank God I have hair to fight with.

    And, it also helps that my parents now live in another time zone....
  • bubbles76bubbles76 Posts: 288Registered Users
    Well, relaxed hair doesn't always equal easier hair to take care of. I have the same basic problems with relaxed as transitioning: not knowing how to style it or what products to use to keep it healthy and stop shedding. I'm learning how to do both now (still confused about the shedding). The frustrations were the same with me, whether relaxed or transitioning.

    When I think about going back to relaxing (I've been transitioning a year, so you know the thoughts come up) I just start to remember what it was like when my hair was relaxed. Was it really easier to take care of? Not always. Did I really know how to style it then? No, I'm learning more now. Do I like how my hair looks now, even with two textures fighting for rights to my head, over how my relaxed hair looks? Most of the time. Can I afford to pay for a relaxer? Probably not, but I do spend a lot on hair products, so maybe it evens out :)

    Anyway, I figure, if my hair is going to be frustrating at times, it's going to at least be my hair. Healthy, fluffy, curly, kinky...gotta love it! It's about finding the right products, the right routine, changing up with the seasons (styles, routine, products, etc) and REALLY listening to my hair.

    Maybe I've preached more to myself than to you, but I hoped it helped :)
    Last Relaxer August 15, 2004
    Big Chop April 23, 2006
    event.png
  • LadyLibra1982LadyLibra1982 Posts: 203Registered Users
    girlgc - you know, i haven't regretted going natural since i did the BC. not once have i thought about going back to a relaxer. but to be honest i DO have days i miss my length or see a straight style that i know would involve burning my napps badly if i wanted to imitate it.

    if i'm bored with my hair or want a new look now, i say why not get some fake hair. it's so much more hassle-free than relaxing and i still get the style i want without making my natural hair suffer. just the other day i was watching music videos and saw that old "Bills Bills Bills" by Destiny's Child. you remember Beyonce's hair was cornrowed back and the back was all out and crimpy? well that's called tree braids. she had all her natural hair cornrowed back and the weave is braided in and pulled back out so it looks like it's "yours." after a minute of thinking i realized this could make a good protective style (hair in cornrows... no manipulation) and still look cute. so i am thinking about getting it done this weekend for a nice change of pace. :wink:

    that's my 2 cents. HTH some! :D
    Lady Libra
    3c/4a???
    i stick with the description "OS thready thick"

    my curly fro now is at collarbone when straightened.... basically the length i had when i started transitioning! hooray for growth!!! =)
  • bubbles76bubbles76 Posts: 288Registered Users
    ladylibra, if you get this done take some pictures! i love your hair the way it is now. it's saved under my favorites.
    Last Relaxer August 15, 2004
    Big Chop April 23, 2006
    event.png
  • LadyLibra1982LadyLibra1982 Posts: 203Registered Users
    bubbles76 wrote:
    ladylibra, if you get this done take some pictures! i love your hair the way it is now. it's saved under my favorites.

    thanks for the compliment bubbles76! :D i'll try to get some pics posted as soon as i get this style... i know i've been slacking in the picture updates lately! :oops:
    Lady Libra
    3c/4a???
    i stick with the description "OS thready thick"

    my curly fro now is at collarbone when straightened.... basically the length i had when i started transitioning! hooray for growth!!! =)
  • PJcurlPJcurl Posts: 71Registered Users
    zsazsa wrote:
    My friends Mother brought the relaxer topic up just the other day!
    She told me how blessed I am to have naturally curly hair.
    She says that she spends so many hours and so much money on hair care. She brought it to my attention that she has to have her hair done weekly. She spends her Saturday mornings in the salon.

    Um, don't all Type 4 people have naturally curly hair? Nobody NEEDS to use relaxer.... So I don't see your or her point. How are you any more or less blessed than any other Type 4 person?


    No..you are lumping all 4's together...4A hair is usually curly with a rounded, circular or spiral look to the curl. Those who are 4b tend to not have that they have more of a zig zag defination, if any. Usually not a curl at all.

    PJ
    HG: WEN Sweet Almond
    Ojon RT
    Oils (jojoba, olive, sapote, carrot)
    Kinky curly custard
    Blended Beauty (new fave)
    I will not chop my hair off in frustration this year. I will not..I promise, no braids, no braids, no chopping.