CurlTalk

Why can't my curls be natural???

CurlilocsCurlilocs Posts: 821Registered Users
Has anyone else been dismissed as a natural because they have natually curly hair?

When I was relaxed and wore my curly wash and go's all I heard was "If I had hair like yours there's no way I'd relax it". Now that I'm natural all I hear is " Did you jheri curl your hair?" When I polity tell them I just cut the relaxer out of it, they look at me like I have two heads and then reply "And your hair does that naturally?" :? the smiley indicates the look that goes with their question/ comment as if to say 'yeah right'. WTF???

Just because my hair is curly doesn't mean I have to alter it with a chemical. Why do I have to face teeth sucking and rolling eyes because God made me this way. It just doesn't make sense how critical and judgemental people can sometimes be. SOrry but I had to get this off of my chest this morning :x
Free your Mind and your Hair will Follow :)
Curli's pics
album pw: bangz
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Comments

  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    Curlilocs wrote:

    When I was relaxed and wore my curly wash and go's all I heard was "If I had hair like yours there's no way I'd relax it".

    I heard this a lot, too. Funny thing is, one of the reasons I relaxed was that when I was natural, people said "Why don't you relax your hair?" People are ridiculous sometimes.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


    .png


    534Pm5.png





  • CurlilocsCurlilocs Posts: 821Registered Users
    Amneris wrote:
    Curlilocs wrote:

    When I was relaxed and wore my curly wash and go's all I heard was "If I had hair like yours there's no way I'd relax it".

    I heard this a lot, too. Funny thing is, one of the reasons I relaxed was that when I was natural, people said "Why don't you relax your hair?" People are ridiculous sometimes.

    Okay??
    Free your Mind and your Hair will Follow :)
    Curli's pics
    album pw: bangz
  • love yourself firstlove yourself first Posts: 5,398Registered Users
    That sounds like ignorance or jealousy or both.. I just checked out your album and your hair is growing out great and your curls are just lovely! :D Just ignore anyone who can't appreciate the natural beauty of your hair as-is. They are not worth the time.
    "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."
    "I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
    - Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

    (taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)
  • eccentric_kurlzeccentric_kurlz Posts: 4,144Registered Users
    Curltopia wrote:
    That sounds like ignorance or jealousy or both.. I just checked out your album and your hair is growing out great and your curls are just lovely! :D Just ignore anyone who can't appreciate the natural beauty of your hair as-is. They are not worth the time.

    I second that.
    A wonderful mix of coils, curls, corkscrews, and kinks.

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fs211.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fbb133%2Fshyygirl_2007%2F" class="Popup
    PW: curlyhair

    I have a blog now. Follow meeeee! :)

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fnaturalurbanista.blogspot.com%2F" class="Popup

    "You see, when it comes to language competence, a true patriot must hit that sweet spot between "job-stealing immigrant" and "liberal elitist." ~Eilonwy

    Wanna have access to the top names in fashion and luxury at up to 70% off retail? Sure you do. /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Ftinyurl.com%2F3yxneol" class="Popup

    DC metro area
  • superstahr01superstahr01 Posts: 31Registered Users
    LOL! I know just how you feel. People ask me what I'm mixed with and I'm like black and black :D. When I was younger and I used to wear my hair straight girls would pull it from the back and then ask if I had a weave. You just can't win for lose. It used to really piss me off, then I decided everyone was jealous and I've finally settled on ignorance in my wise old years, LOL! At one point I got so tired of it that I chopped it all off. For years I had a short Halle Berry cut.

    Now when I get this response from people I try to ignore it. I still get asked if I have a weave/wig/perm/s-curl and/or native american/white/hispanic/belizian blood, LOL! I'm learning to love my hair and damn anyone who has a problem with it! haha
    -Stacey :)
    "You can trust a dishonest person to be dishonest....honestly" -Capt. Jack Sparrow

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fsuperstahr01%2F" class="Popup
    Mostly 3c with some 3b mixed in for good measure :)
  • Curlee QCurlee Q Posts: 523Registered Users
    I get that also. I had some lady at my school ask what kind of curl do I have in my hair to make my hair curl like it does. :roll:
  • CurlilocsCurlilocs Posts: 821Registered Users
    Curltopia wrote:
    That sounds like ignorance or jealousy or both.. I just checked out your album and your hair is growing out great and your curls are just lovely! :D Just ignore anyone who can't appreciate the natural beauty of your hair as-is. They are not worth the time.

    Aw thanks Curltopia, you too shygirl...I was trying to be nice...but considering the sources, I believe that's what it is too.
    Free your Mind and your Hair will Follow :)
    Curli's pics
    album pw: bangz
  • CurlilocsCurlilocs Posts: 821Registered Users
    LOL! I know just how you feel. People ask me what I'm mixed with and I'm like black and black

    I still get asked if I have a weave/wig/perm/s-curl and/or native american/white/hispanic/belizian blood

    Oh yeah, I've been charged with being everything but black too! My favorite one in highschool was, "What are you? Mixed or something? You can't be all black".

    Really, I've heard it my whole life and usually I just laugh at them, but today was the straw that broke the camels back! Of course I'm battling a cold and that has me a bit on the irritable side, but that's still no excuse for "ignant" comments. They need to stop sweatin' me, get a life and worry about their own D@%n heads....... :shock: Ok I feel better now

    Thanks fellow curlies....I love y'all :grouphug:grouphug.gif
    Free your Mind and your Hair will Follow :)
    Curli's pics
    album pw: bangz
  • CurlilocsCurlilocs Posts: 821Registered Users
    I get that also. I had some lady at my school ask what kind of curl do I have in my hair to make my hair curl like it does. :roll:

    Next time tell them Jesus juice because God made it that way! I bet that will shut them up :lol:
    Free your Mind and your Hair will Follow :)
    Curli's pics
    album pw: bangz
  • superstahr01superstahr01 Posts: 31Registered Users
    Curlilocs wrote:

    Next time tell them Jesus juice because God made it that way! I bet that will shut them up :lol:

    LOL! I love it! I'm using that one for sure :)
    -Stacey :)
    "You can trust a dishonest person to be dishonest....honestly" -Capt. Jack Sparrow

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fsuperstahr01%2F" class="Popup
    Mostly 3c with some 3b mixed in for good measure :)
  • wavezncurlzwavezncurlz Posts: 1,814Registered Users
    I get the same questions all the time. What people don't realize is that AA culture is very diverse and that skin colors and hair textures can run the gamut. All of us are mixed if we look back far enough.

    I usually just say I'm a mixture of my parents- both of whom have hair like mine. I leave it very ambiguous. The way I answer, they don't tend to probe too much.

    Don't let them bother you. Take care of your hair, keep it healthy, and enjoy it! :)


    By the way, your hair is lovely. The picture with the puff really reminds me of my hair before it grew to the point that the puff was less curly.
    HAIRCOLLAGE2010-1-1.jpg[

    mini-album w/ various styles for the past 10 years of natural hair:
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fs29.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fc252%2Fwavezncurlz%2Fhair%2F" class="Popup
    password: curlzorwavez
  • kittykat3kittykat3 Posts: 63Registered Users
    i get that all the time! mostly from teachers

    "is your hair like that naturally?" "did you get a perm?" "is that wut ur natural hair is like?" "how do you gat ur hair like that?"

    the funniest incident is the kids i babysit

    kid: y do u perm ur hair
    me: i don't
    kid: so how did it get so curly?
    me: i was born that way
    kid: so wen u came out of ur mommy ur hair was like that?
    me: yes
    next visit
    kid: it must have taken a long time 4 ur mom to curl all of ur hair like that
    me: she didn't
    kid: who did
    me: no1 i was born that way
    kid: but how can sum1 b born with curly hair?
    me: u were born with str8 hair so y can't i b born with curly hair?

    she still duznt get the fact that ppl can have natural curls
    lol she will sum day
    ...
  • CheleighCheleigh Posts: 552Registered Users
    I agree with you all, that it's shortsighted to make these comments. I do look at it from two viewpoints:

    One: it is ignorance...but it's in part ignorance based upon an unfortunate part of America's history. The whole black/mixed race, bad hair/good hair aesthetic has been so firmly woven within the very fabric of black culture in this country, that I'm simply not surprised when people go there with it. While curly hair doesn't equal mixed race, it is a likely indicator of mixed heritage somewhere in your background (although we know that most black americans, regardless of complexion, hair texture, or facial features are of mixed heritage). People assign (however misguided) certain preconcieved notions and values to it, and that's very unfortunate. If more women had always worn their hair natural, rather than most of us hiding our texture, I don't think the comments would be so common, becasue we'd be used to the various textures on american women of african descent.

    Two: Most people, given a choice, would opt for curly hair as opposed to coily or nappy, undefined hair. As such, I sort of look at those comments akin to when some people make a comment about my weight (like "girl, just shut-up about you need to diet, you are so skinny"). For the record, I am not skinny. (I'm trying to articulate this correctly, so please forgive me if I offend anyone)--while it may irritate me a bit to have folks comment on my weight, I also know that I am in the "favored" category in this regard--ie, given a choice, more people want to be thinner than overweight. So for me, very little folks say about my weight is going to hurt or upset me like people making a negative comment to an overweight person, YKWIM? It's still ignorant and inappropriate, but for me, I don't think the degree of pain is the same. JMHO.
    Natural pics: /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpicturetrail.com%2Fshelacious" class="Popup
    pw: kinky
    Hair type: Spongy & kinky texture. Coily & curly strands.
  • knatural31knatural31 Posts: 60Registered Users
    I am dark so people automatically assume that my hair can not be this way. I have been asked if I have a texturizer. Whenever I get asked if my hair is naturally curly I say that my hair is naturally nappy. My hair is not perfect curls when I wash it, I have to take small sections to get it curly because it is a big frizz ball. So I think they assume you have the "good" hair thing going on but that is not true, it is a lot of work having natural curly hair.
  • CurlilocsCurlilocs Posts: 821Registered Users
    I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments and positive feedback on this topic. Have a great weekend!
    Free your Mind and your Hair will Follow :)
    Curli's pics
    album pw: bangz
  • hondurancurly123hondurancurly123 Posts: 63Registered Users
    I get the are you mixed thing all the time. Even though I am, people have no right to think they can ask me that out of the blue. Like even before I got the relaxer I am currently growing out people would ask cause I dont look "black"and when I sigh and say yes I am mixed they get this look on thier face which makes me think I should be happy that I am mixed and I should be happy that they asked me.Like I remember one time this girl came up to me and said

    girl: are you mixed
    me: why
    girl: cause i want to know
    me: you dont need to know ( giving her a crazy look)
    girl: you are mixed i knew it ( sucking her teeth)
    me: whatever
    girl( talks to her friend and says that I think I am better then her cause I am mixed and has good hair)

    Now this whole thing was before I got a relaxer and It makes me really mad cause they think just cause I am mixed I have to be mean and stuck up.I have been dismissed for so many reasons and most of them stem form me being mixed and having curly hair.I am really tired of people who think they can come up and say anything and I will be fine with and be happy that they asked me. But whatever I am strarting to rant so I will stop here and cool down.
    i think i may have found my HG. Its suave firm control gel the biloge not off and john fridia curls and swirls i am sooooooooooo happy my search is over
  • CichelleCichelle Posts: 29Registered Users
    Curlilocs wrote:
    Has anyone else been dismissed as a natural because they have natually curly hair?

    Yup.
    When I was relaxed and wore my curly wash and go's all I heard was "If I had hair like yours there's no way I'd relax it". Now that I'm natural all I hear is " Did you jheri curl your hair?"

    People thinking I have a texturizer or jherri curl really bothers me. I have thought about why it bothers me so much and I think it has to do with the fact that I transitioned for 14 months and am so happy to finally be all natural. So, it's really annoying when people refuse to believe that my curly hair is not chemically altered.
    When I polity tell them I just cut the relaxer out of it, they look at me like I have two heads and then reply "And your hair does that naturally?" :? the smiley indicates the look that goes with their question/ comment as if to say 'yeah right'. WTF???

    Yes, it's also annoying to be treated with suspicion about my hair, as if a black person with curly hair belongs in the category of pigs flying.
    Just because my hair is curly doesn't mean I have to alter it with a chemical. Why do I have to face teeth sucking and rolling eyes because God made me this way. It just doesn't make sense how critical and judgemental people can sometimes be. SOrry but I had to get this off of my chest this morning :x

    I hear ya, girl. Just enjoy your hair and don't let it get to you. You have beautiful curls!
    3b/c, fine hair, low porosity. Had dreadlocks for three years and combed them out a year ago. Currently letting my hair grow...
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    Curlilocs wrote:
    Has anyone else been dismissed as a natural because they have natually curly hair?

    When I was relaxed and wore my curly wash and go's all I heard was "If I had hair like yours there's no way I'd relax it". Now that I'm natural all I hear is " Did you jheri curl your hair?" When I polity tell them I just cut the relaxer out of it, they look at me like I have two heads and then reply "And your hair does that naturally?" :? the smiley indicates the look that goes with their question/ comment as if to say 'yeah right'. WTF???

    Just because my hair is curly doesn't mean I have to alter it with a chemical. Why do I have to face teeth sucking and rolling eyes because God made me this way. It just doesn't make sense how critical and judgemental people can sometimes be. SOrry but I had to get this off of my chest this morning :x

    welcome to my world!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats why i love this site instead of nappturality....

    but its so funny because now that im natural and people ask me if my hair is naturally curly or is it a texturizer, straw set, etc etc...then they act like im lying and there is no way my hair could be like this on its own. so after they realize im not lying the first thing out of their mouth is "why did you ever relax your hair??? if i had hair like yours i would never relax it....." suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.
    *brace yourself, more venting* and when i did relax my hair and wore it curly (my hair will not be tamed by any chemical!) everyone was like, "why dont you wear your hair curly? i love it curly! curly curly curly" now that im natural and always wear it curly everyone pulls the whole "why dont you straighten your hair? i like your hair better straight. straight straight straight" oh get a life people. i swear. i think the world is only happy if theyre driving you crazy. :roll: whatever.
  • atlantisrisingatlantisrising Posts: 263Registered Users
    I've been accused of having a texturizer a time or two and as a child, people used to ask me what I was mixed with. At that age, I was oblivious to race so I didn't really understand, I didn't even notice my hair texture.

    Now, I'm like, oh well. If all they have to do is ponder why my hair is the way it is, then I'm glad I could provide them with some entertainment :roll:
  • atlantisrisingatlantisrising Posts: 263Registered Users
    subbrock wrote:

    welcome to my world!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats why i love this site instead of nappturality....

    I used to love that site but I started noticing posts that were almost asking why anyone with curly hair would go to NP. I felt unwanted. I can understand their dislike for topics about texturizers and perms, that's not what the site is about but when you begin to shun other naturals, it's just not fun anymore.

    I veered off topic a tad bit, sorry! :oops:
  • browncurlzbrowncurlz Posts: 25Registered Users
    I've been accused of having a texturizer a time or two and as a child, people used to ask me what I was mixed with. At that age, I was oblivious to race so I didn't really understand, I didn't even notice my hair texture.

    I too went through this at college. At one point i was always up in the common room, by my next year, i used to walk the long way round to class so i didnt have to see certain people, cos apparently i wasnt admitting the truth with who i am, cos everyone could see from the growth in my braids i havent got "regular" hair and im denying who i am :?: ....
    when i was in school, i went in an mainly white area, i was always black which i wholey accepted AND AM PROUD OF. for 19 years NO ONE had ever told me about myself untill i went to a majority black college!
    i even had a girl chatting about mixed race people then turn to me and say "no offence"?

    only recently i just found out that my dads, gradfather was white, so my graddad was mixed, and thats where my family get our complexion and hair texture from...but i still dont find the need to tell people this, my dad who is more mixed than me says hes black and nothing else! i hve always grown up being a proud black woman and will not be told otherwise just cos of something as petty as my HAIR!!???!?!?

    i used to get irritated by this, but i realised that it is only a minority of black girls who always ask me- and they just doing it because they have been brainwashed by this good/bad hair bullsh!t
  • amandagamandag Posts: 24Registered Users
    I hope I don't offend anyone but as a white chick, I get other white chicks all the time asking me if *I'm* mixed because of my hair (I do get the "80s perm" thing a lot). Especially when it's really short and my curls are always springy and jumpy. They tell me white people don't have curly hair! I once had a hairdresser asked if my hair was "ethnic" (meaning black I assumed). I'm assuming she's never seen or touched a black person's hair in her life. I never went back to her.

    I mean, you'd think people wouldn't be that ignorant. I guess they are. People always suprise me in their ignorance. I was walking with a friend of mine the other day and I pointed to a pretty black girl with great curls and said "wow, I wish I had her hair!" My friend said, "You could, it's weave." and I said, "It's not weave, you can tell . . ." She said, "it's fake. Black people can't grow their hair that long." (it was just back length, not even super long). That took me aback I said, "What did you just say?!" and she replied that it was a common fact and everyone knew it. I said I knew different because I chatted with beautiful black women with beautiful hair and she said they must all be weaves. I wanted to smack her but I just dropped it. That's the first time I've EVER heard that one.

    People are stupid.
  • CurlilocsCurlilocs Posts: 821Registered Users
    subbrock wrote:
    Curlilocs wrote:
    Has anyone else been dismissed as a natural because they have natually curly hair?

    When I was relaxed and wore my curly wash and go's all I heard was "If I had hair like yours there's no way I'd relax it". Now that I'm natural all I hear is " Did you jheri curl your hair?" When I polity tell them I just cut the relaxer out of it, they look at me like I have two heads and then reply "And your hair does that naturally?" :? the smiley indicates the look that goes with their question/ comment as if to say 'yeah right'. WTF???

    Just because my hair is curly doesn't mean I have to alter it with a chemical. Why do I have to face teeth sucking and rolling eyes because God made me this way. It just doesn't make sense how critical and judgemental people can sometimes be. SOrry but I had to get this off of my chest this morning :x

    welcome to my world!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats why i love this site instead of nappturality....

    but its so funny because now that im natural and people ask me if my hair is naturally curly or is it a texturizer, straw set, etc etc...then they act like im lying and there is no way my hair could be like this on its own. so after they realize im not lying the first thing out of their mouth is "why did you ever relax your hair??? if i had hair like yours i would never relax it....." suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.
    *brace yourself, more venting* and when i did relax my hair and wore it curly (my hair will not be tamed by any chemical!) everyone was like, "why dont you wear your hair curly? i love it curly! curly curly curly" now that im natural and always wear it curly everyone pulls the whole "why dont you straighten your hair? i like your hair better straight. straight straight straight" oh get a life people. i swear. i think the world is only happy if theyre driving you crazy. :roll: whatever.


    Our situations are definitely related!

    I too prefer posting on this site rather than nappturality.
    Free your Mind and your Hair will Follow :)
    Curli's pics
    album pw: bangz
  • love yourself firstlove yourself first Posts: 5,398Registered Users
    amandag wrote:
    I hope I don't offend anyone but as a white chick, I get other white chicks all the time asking me if *I'm* mixed because of my hair (I do get the "80s perm" thing a lot). Especially when it's really short and my curls are always springy and jumpy. They tell me white people don't have curly hair! I once had a hairdresser asked if my hair was "ethnic" (meaning black I assumed). I'm assuming she's never seen or touched a black person's hair in her life. I never went back to her.

    I mean, you'd think people wouldn't be that ignorant. I guess they are. People always suprise me in their ignorance. I was walking with a friend of mine the other day and I pointed to a pretty black girl with great curls and said "wow, I wish I had her hair!" My friend said, "You could, it's weave." and I said, "It's not weave, you can tell . . ." She said, "it's fake. Black people can't grow their hair that long." (it was just back length, not even super long). That took me aback I said, "What did you just say?!" and she replied that it was a common fact and everyone knew it. I said I knew different because I chatted with beautiful black women with beautiful hair and she said they must all be weaves. I wanted to smack her but I just dropped it. That's the first time I've EVER heard that one.

    People are stupid.

    The hairdresser and friend remarks sound really annoying (to you) and offensive (to black women generally). Thanks for sharing your perspective on this thread. I haven't checked out your album yet, but your avatar curls are great!
    "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."
    "I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
    - Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

    (taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)
  • superstahr01superstahr01 Posts: 31Registered Users
    amandag wrote:
    I hope I don't offend anyone but as a white chick, I get other white chicks all the time asking me if *I'm* mixed because of my hair (I do get the "80s perm" thing a lot). Especially when it's really short and my curls are always springy and jumpy. They tell me white people don't have curly hair! I once had a hairdresser asked if my hair was "ethnic" (meaning black I assumed). I'm assuming she's never seen or touched a black person's hair in her life. I never went back to her.

    I mean, you'd think people wouldn't be that ignorant. I guess they are. People always suprise me in their ignorance. I was walking with a friend of mine the other day and I pointed to a pretty black girl with great curls and said "wow, I wish I had her hair!" My friend said, "You could, it's weave." and I said, "It's not weave, you can tell . . ." She said, "it's fake. Black people can't grow their hair that long." (it was just back length, not even super long). That took me aback I said, "What did you just say?!" and she replied that it was a common fact and everyone knew it. I said I knew different because I chatted with beautiful black women with beautiful hair and she said they must all be weaves. I wanted to smack her but I just dropped it. That's the first time I've EVER heard that one.

    People are stupid.

    I know it sounds cliche but my best friend is a curly haired "white chick" and she gets this same reaction from other "white chicks" so I kinda know where you are coming from. What's sad is that I get so irritated by people asking me if I'm mixed that I don't even claim my mixed heritage. I'm happier to say that I'm mixed with "black and black".

    I think wavezncurlz put it best...
    I get the same questions all the time. What people don't realize is that AA culture is very diverse and that skin colors and hair textures can run the gamut. All of us are mixed if we look back far enough.

    And just for the record, one of the best hair dressers I ever had was Jewish. Her hair was curlier than mine so she knew just how to deal with my hair. She even knew how to give a good press :D Who knew that we could unite the races by forming alliances of similar hair texture, LOL!
    -Stacey :)
    "You can trust a dishonest person to be dishonest....honestly" -Capt. Jack Sparrow

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fsuperstahr01%2F" class="Popup
    Mostly 3c with some 3b mixed in for good measure :)
  • Pacific PoppyPacific Poppy Posts: 253Registered Users
    People ask me stupid questions all the time. Here is the one that really gets me, and I get this A LOT:

    person: Wow your hair is really curly (unsaid: for a white girl)
    me: thanks
    person: Whoa! your girls have the same hair!
    me: uh-huh
    person: SO... you all go to the same salon?

    Augh! &%*&$^$! What the heck? My kids are 1 and 3! What is more likely, that I perm my little one's 3 inches of fluffy baby hair, or that its natural? :x Because I'm white I must really have straight hair?
    3c, CG Fine hairs, med growth.
    Formerly "Rainyday"
  • CurlilocsCurlilocs Posts: 821Registered Users
    subbrock wrote:

    welcome to my world!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats why i love this site instead of nappturality....

    I used to love that site but I started noticing posts that were almost asking why anyone with curly hair would go to NP. I felt unwanted. I can understand their dislike for topics about texturizers and perms, that's not what the site is about but when you begin to shun other naturals, it's just not fun anymore.

    I veered off topic a tad bit, sorry! :oops:

    No you're cool! I started this thread because I felt as though I was being dismissed as having natural unprocessed hair because I was naturally curly, and ranting about people's contradictory behavior in regard to it.

    Now, off topic, I agree with you about the vibe on NP. I have even seen threads that have complained about natural hair in the media and how it seems to focus on "type 3 hair", ever since seeing that post, I haven't even lurked there. To speak on that further will take us more off topic so with that said, I'm glad to have found a place where all curlies, regardless of race and ethnicity can come together and share in the knowledge of our common ground! CURLS ROCK :)
    Free your Mind and your Hair will Follow :)
    Curli's pics
    album pw: bangz
  • AmberWavesAmberWaves Posts: 231Registered Users
    Most of us have had relaxers since childhood, so we really don't know what our hair is like or what it can do. I did a wash-n-go one Saturday while my grandma was over. I sat under the dryer for about 5 min because my diffuser broke. Grandma thought it was the heat that was making my hair curly. :lol:
    AmberWaves
    3c/4a
  • urbancurlurbancurl Posts: 980Registered Users
    Oh my gosh, that is hilarious! Very good responses to the kids.
    kittykat3 wrote:
    i get that all the time! mostly from teachers

    "is your hair like that naturally?" "did you get a perm?" "is that wut ur natural hair is like?" "how do you gat ur hair like that?"

    the funniest incident is the kids i babysit

    kid: y do u perm ur hair
    me: i don't
    kid: so how did it get so curly?
    me: i was born that way
    kid: so wen u came out of ur mommy ur hair was like that?
    me: yes
    next visit
    kid: it must have taken a long time 4 ur mom to curl all of ur hair like that
    me: she didn't
    kid: who did
    me: no1 i was born that way
    kid: but how can sum1 b born with curly hair?
    me: u were born with str8 hair so y can't i b born with curly hair?

    she still duznt get the fact that ppl can have natural curls
    lol she will sum day
    "It is wrong to use moral means to preserve immoral ends." MLK, Jr.

    Password= urban
  • urbancurlurbancurl Posts: 980Registered Users
    I get the are you mixed thing all the time. Even though I am, people have no right to think they can ask me that out of the blue. Like even before I got the relaxer I am currently growing out people would ask cause I dont look "black"and when I sigh and say yes I am mixed they get this look on thier face which makes me think I should be happy that I am mixed and I should be happy that they asked me.Like I remember one time this girl came up to me and said

    girl: are you mixed
    me: why
    girl: cause i want to know
    me: you dont need to know ( giving her a crazy look)
    girl: you are mixed i knew it ( sucking her teeth)
    me: whatever
    girl( talks to her friend and says that I think I am better then her cause I am mixed and has good hair)

    Now this whole thing was before I got a relaxer and It makes me really mad cause they think just cause I am mixed I have to be mean and stuck up.I have been dismissed for so many reasons and most of them stem form me being mixed and having curly hair.I am really tired of people who think they can come up and say anything and I will be fine with and be happy that they asked me. But whatever I am strarting to rant so I will stop here and cool down.

    Oooh, boy do I relate to this. We gotta rant sometimes to get it out. You hit the nail on the head with how people think you should be happy they asked. And I've had this conversation so many times-

    Stranger= Excuse me, what are you?
    Me= What do you mean? (knowing *amn well what they mean)
    Stranger= I mean, like, where are you from?
    Me=Chicago.
    Stranger= I mean, originally?
    Me= My mother's womb (sometimes they will walk off at this point)
    Stranger= But, I mean, where is she from?
    Me= Chicago. Look, do you need directions or something? I have to get going. (If the person was a man, he might mutter something like, "You not all that anyway!")

    In other versions, if I say I am mixed, or my mom's Black, dad's white, I'll get the, "Oh, you lucked out!" thing. It is SO utterly offensive. What makes me lucky? That I have white in me? Unfortunately, in this society, there is such a thing called white privilege. I am personally rejecting this hierarchy but it exists.
    "It is wrong to use moral means to preserve immoral ends." MLK, Jr.

    Password= urban
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