So, my mother really thinks hair products are made for either "black" or "white" hair

gatinha™gatinha™ Posts: 1Registered Users
Sorry if you think the title is offensive, but I'm only paraphrasing what my mom said.

I really don't know how to convince her that some products --especially for curly hair like mine-- that are for "white" people, works on my type of hair too. I'm not against using black products, such as Creame of Nature and stuff, but she buys me DooGro and other crap thats loaded with mineral oil and stuff. My mother relaxes her hair, and she swears most of those products work for her, but they definantly do NOT work for me. And right now, I have no other sources I can turn to but beauty store brands, so any suggestions? My hair's really suffering because of my mom's ignorance.

Comments

  • cclark1cclark1 Posts: 346Registered Users
    gatinha™ wrote: »
    Sorry if you think the title is offensive, but I'm only paraphrasing what my mom said.

    I really don't know how to convince her that some products --especially for curly hair like mine-- that are for "white" people, works on my type of hair too. I'm not against using black products, such as Creame of Nature and stuff, but she buys me DooGro and other crap thats loaded with mineral oil and stuff. My mother relaxes her hair, and she swears most of those products work for her, but they definantly do NOT work for me. And right now, I have no other sources I can turn to but beauty store brands, so any suggestions? My hair's really suffering because of my mom's ignorance.

    Sorry that you're having this problem with your mom. Remember moms aren't perfect.:compress:But I agree with you in that I hate products like Doo-Gro and S-Curl targeted specifically for African Americans. But I also equally detest Pantene and V0-5 because these products dry "my" hair out. Point being, my hair doesn't like any of these products. So I think that you should forget the white/black stuff and just look for ingredients that will work best with YOUR hair, not mom's but YOUR hair.
    Dare to be......remarkable!!!
  • mariag002mariag002 Posts: 3,557Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I hate to say this but I used to feel the same way. I don't think it was due to "ignorance" per say, my problem was that you can't just put any product on relaxed hair. Certain products just wouldn't work for me. I'm not a fan of Doo Grow or any type of product that can't spell its name correctly *LOL* I used to put Super Gro in my hair years ago because my family swore by it that it would make hair grow. I don't know about growth, but it made my hair super greasy.

    It wasn't until I stopped relaxing my hair that I realized that products aren't for certain types of people, but whatever works for MY hair. CClark was right on the money.

    I'm not sure how old you are, but if you have a job and can buy your own products than I suggest you do that. I didn't convince my mom that my natural hair was the best, I showed her with my results. Don't fight with your mom, just nicely show you what you've learned and show her how certain products make your hair look good.
    - Maria

    Big Chop: 9/23/07
    Relaxer free for almost 5 years!

  • JuicyTubeJuicyTube Posts: 2,369Registered Users
    http://healthycurls.awardspace.com

    hope this site will help u, look in the products section.
    3b-3c CG
  • SapphireWingstarSapphireWingstar Posts: 381Registered Users
    I'm sorry your mother feels this way...mine felt like that once, too, except the opposite. I wanted to try shea butter on my hair and she was like, that's what black people use. And I was like, um, yes, soooo? But she eventually got over it (and a bunch of other hair related issues she had - the race issue was only a tiny thing), and for the most part she lets me do my own thing with my hair now. :mrgreen:

    Anyways, enough about me. The link that JuicyTube provided should be helpful, it explains a lot of the basics about being 'CG' (meaning, following the Curly Girl method). It was written by a member of this site, SweetPeaCurli.

    Is it possible for you to buy you hair stuff by yourself, with your own money? That's what I do a lot, because I don't want my mom to see all the hair products I have. ^^;; Can you walk to Walgreens or whatever from your house? Or maybe when you're seeing a movie with your friends, afterwards make a detour to the drugstore?

    You could try explaining how your hair works with your mom, but if your mom is as stubborn as mine, she won't care (my main hair problem with my mom is that she has really straight hair and she just didn't *get* curly hair). I got my own hair products and after a lot of time and hard work, the condition of my hair improved a lot, and my mom couldn't deny that my hair looked a LOT better from the stuff I had used. Basically, don't fight with her about it. If she starts going off, maybe gently try to correct her, but mostly just nod and smile and then go off and use your Suave or Garnier or whatever. At least, that's what I did. :P She'll come around, or you'll be old enough that she won't influence what you do to your hair. Hopefully it's the former.

    Your hair looks really pretty from your avatar, by the way! For products, i would recommend a cheap Suave conditioner. That's what i use, and it works fine for me. I think a lot of people like Creme of Nature for shampoo, so if that works for you, then keep using it. Again, definitely read the link about silicones, no shampooing, etc.

    Hope that helps some, and please ask if you have any other questions!
    3b/c...or thereabouts.

    Album: http://photobucket.com/albums/a119/CrazyCurlyQ/

    Password: curlomania
    (albums are on the lefthand side)
  • Hairblogger â„¢Hairblogger â„¢ Posts: 564Registered Users
    It's not so much that as it is that most manufacturers use 'substandard' ingredients in products that target specific ethnicities. The prper way to look for your products is to find what your particular hair needs are (dry, oily, surly, straight, cottony, etc) and go from there.

    But the best thing to do is to always check the ingredients, look for stylers and cleansers with less than 12 total ingredients and that contain all natural ingredients.

    Aubrey organics
    Dr. Bonners
    Qhemet biologics
    Karen's body beautiful

    *and similar natural brands that don't use sulphates and other harsh ingredients or chemicals (Although cheapie brands like Suave work for those who are unconcerned about ingredients but still want 'results').

    But, just try to remember, she's only buying out of a lack of information, but fortunately thanks to boards like this and books we now have more information and a more comprehensive point of reference as consumers.

    Good luck and happy holiday!
    'Goddess Hair & Skin Recipe Book' devotee 4life!

    Co-Wash: Aubrey O. HoneySuckleRose Cond.
    Poo: 1-2x ~monthly~ w/AO 'poo+Baking Soda
    DT: Honey + any Aubrey Condish
    Leave-Ins: Sheamoisture / RJML Cactus / KBBmilk!


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  • D_MarieD_Marie Posts: 150Registered Users
    If ur able u can try healthfood stores like Whole foods, The vitamin shoppe, etc. They sell products like Giovanni, Aubrey Organics etc. or even coconut oil, olive oil etc. They're priced pretty close to the beauty supply store products. If u search through the forums a lot of people say what they use... A lot of people like Tigi moisture maniac conditioner...u can find that in beauty supply stores. HTH :)
    www.instagram.com/enliytenme
    3c/4a
    Shea Moisture JBCO shampoo
    Trader Joes Nourish Spa Conditioner
    Mielle Organics Protein Conditioner
    Camille Rose Almond Jai Twisting Butter (moisturizer)
    The Main Choice 3 in 1
    True by Made Beautiful leave in and hair butter
    Sweet almond oil
    As I Am Curling Jelly
    :toothy7:
  • SoulGloSoulGlo Posts: 39Registered Users
    Just invite you mom to visit this site! A lot of parents require an independent source to corroborate their children's story. I'm 25 and my mom still (sometimes) thinks I don't know what I'm talking about...or how to drive! lol
    3C-ish/4A-ish
    Last relaxer: 12/06?
    BC: 12/07 (I did the honors:-)
    Fotki: http://public.fotki.com/SuaSponte/
    PW: Liberation
  • ParasolParasol Posts: 291Users Awaiting Email Confirmation
    (Warning- I just couldn't hold back irony)

    Yes, in some way I could be offended by that comment your mother (who is probably black herself?) made about white and black hair. Products are made either for dry hair (most likely curly or coloured hair) or normal hair- bottom line!

    Just because someone's black he /she's only supposed to use products made for blacks? I hope I don't offend anyone when I say this, but that reminds me of the times when blacks were only allowed to sit on benches made for blacks.

    So ,what am I supposed to do? I'm half black and white.*lol* Oh right ,there is the mixed chicks line. I guess I can use that ,right?
    Ok now, seriously. I'm sure your mom isn't racist. Maybe she should visit this site to see that we all may have different skincolours ,but we share two things: CURLS and the products.:wink:

  • curlycaramelcurlycaramel Posts: 472Registered Users
    I agree with Parasol, I'm mixed black/white so never really got into the whole black or white product things, when I was kid in the 80's there wasn't anything aimed at "mixed kids" so as long as a product happened to work for me thats all i cared about.
    as long as the products aimed at white folks didn't dry my hair out ( too much alcohol) and the products aimed at black folks didn't make my hair greasy ( too much mineral oil or petrolium) I was good.

    Now it is a little better since there seem to be products aimed at curly hair that mean we don't have to define our race by products we choose to use.
    Long thick curls, mix of 3b/3c
  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Posts: 15,402Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Black natural hair has more in common than white natural hair than it does with black relaxed hair. I'm using the terms "black" and "white" because as a culture we are trained in their meaning. But there is no black or white hair, really. It's fine to coarse, straight to crimped (or kinky), dry to oily, short to long. And if I ever use a product called Doo Grow or Dr. Miracles, you have my permission to take me out back of Sally's and shoot me LOL.
    My blog - http://suburbanbushbabe.wordpress.com/
    My FOTKI - http://whatsnew.fotki.com/suburbanbushbabe/
    comic-p.jpg

    Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
    Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
  • LovemylocksLovemylocks Posts: 766Registered Users
    Black natural hair has more in common than white natural hair than it does with black relaxed hair. I'm using the terms "black" and "white" because as a culture we are trained in their meaning. But there is no black or white hair, really. It's fine to coarse, straight to crimped (or kinky), dry to oily, short to long. And if I ever use a product called Doo Grow or Dr. Miracles, you have my permission to take me out back of Sally's and shoot me LOL.

    :laughing5:

    :angry7: I can't stand products that will not spell correctly. There is no need to either dumb down or figure your (the company) are speaking in a way that only we (blacks) can understand. I never thought that was good advertising, but rather insulting. I refuse to use them or purchase them. They could be golden for all I know, but don't care!

    ITA with everything you just said. I have ALWAYS thought that way even when I was a teenager and relaxed. I used what my hair liked. And I used very little little "black" products because my hair did not respond well to greasiness or oiliness. So, I have always been clear on that. It made going natural for me that much easier.
    3C s-curls, coils, and corkscrews

    TIGI MM, QB AOHC, KCCC, MJ CM, MJ BBC, JC WDT, CD HM, CD MHH, DC OneC, Veg Glyc, and Jojoba oil.

    http://members.fotki.com/gypsycurls/

    http://www.ratedpink.com


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