My hair had a nervous breakdown...

PolkadotsPolkadots Posts: 5Registered Users
As weird as the title may sound lol.

First off, I would like to say that I'm not really sure what hair type I may have (My mom started relaxing my hair since I was in the 6th grade as has not stoppied since lol) but I googled some photos and it looks like this but a tad bit curlier. My scalp looks exactly like the girl in this photo though
http://www.pg.com/science/haircare/hair_twh_51/hair_twh_51.jpg

I've switched shampoos (was using African American hair shampoos but switched because I didnt like the texture. I ended up switching to products like Redken and Umberto). I've always had a problem with my hair always being dry (I mean dry to the point where it looked dehydrated) and I think its because my mother blow drys my hair 80% of the time and then uses the curling iron if the blow dryer wasn't effecrive. If my hair wasnt wet, she'll use the curling iron. Oil sheen works but leaves my hair too oily (which causes it to get dirty faster) and flat looking.

Not only do I have a problem with excessive dryness, but I've realized I'm getting my hair relaxed more often than usual. In the past I only needed my hair relaxed 2 times a year (summer/winter). This year I'm sure I had my hair relaxed 4 times already (Once every season) and now my mom wants to relax it again in January :thumbdown: I just had it relaxed some weeks before Thanksgiving...

This summer, I went to the salon and wanted my ' ends trimmed' but had my hair CUT instead (my hair was middle of my back length and was cut to about my shoulders). My hair hasnt grown back since. I know my hair grows pretty fast; I had a huge bald spot in the middle of my head when I was younger and my hair grew back to its original length in about 6 months.

Now my hair has thinned out, still dry and is breaking. Breaking to the point where I can notice my hair is now up to my chin and not my shoulders anymore. And It's scaring me...seriously :cry: The areas where I part my hair are both dangerously short and can never be straightened with a blow dryer because my scalp is sensitive to heat and it burns. I never had bangs before and now I do (never had them cut, they broke off that way). When I wash my hair, it would be curly near the roots but near the ends would be this matted mess and when I try to comb it out more hair breaks off.

Is there anything I can do to save my hair now? I want it to grow back to its original length. I dont know if my mom would be happy to having my hair natural again...at least not now.

Comments

  • jcurladyjcurlady Posts: 626Registered Users Curl Novice
    Are you old enough to care and make decisions for your hair now? It sounds like your hair needs MOISTURE... and I mean plenty of it. The relaxer, blow dryer, and curling iron are ruining your hair. That's just the big part of it. The products that you may be usings might be drying your hair as well. You're at the right place. I haven't been on here long, one of the pros will kick in and give you some sound advice. Are you considering going natural? I do know that when you have a relaxer, you need even more moisture than if you didn't have the relaxer. Do you wash your hair w/ shampoo? Do you know about co-washing? The more info you give about your hair routine and product use will help us give you the advice you need.
    if luvin KCKT and KCCC is wrong I don't wanna b right

    sell crazy somewhere else...we're all stocked up here.
  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Posts: 15,402Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    That girl in the photo needs about 6 months of co-washing and deep treatments, and a good trim. Sounds like you are frying your hair, and if it wasn't dead already you'd be killing it. It's disintegrating.

    You sound like you're old enough to care for your own hair. Think about moisture (lots of it) in the form of deep treatments and conditioners/condition washing. Think about a protein treatment to bolster up the damaged hair. Think about laying off the relaxer and curling iron, and doing curler sets and hood drying, maybe a little blow drying or wrapping.

    Here are some tuturial videos I found helpful, from a women with relaxed hair in fabulous condition. See Damaged Hair, rollersetting, and wrapping videos.

    http://healthytextures.typepad.com/my_journey_to_healthy_hai/hairstyling_videos/index.html
    My blog - http://suburbanbushbabe.wordpress.com/
    My FOTKI - http://whatsnew.fotki.com/suburbanbushbabe/
    comic-p.jpg

    Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
    Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
  • JuicyTubeJuicyTube Posts: 2,369Registered Users
  • mariag002mariag002 Posts: 3,557Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Sounds like your frying your hair :cry: and your mom is using harsh chemicals too. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I can relate to everything you said, especially the part about the stylist cutting your hair too short.

    If you can't go natural because your mom won't allow it, then you should visit Healthy Textures at http://healthytextures.typepad.com/my_journey_to_healthy_hai/
    That website is owned by Macherieamour who has the prettiest relaxed hair I've ever seen. She gives great tips for relaxed and natural hair.

    How old are you? If you're over 17 I think you should sit down with your mom and tell her how you feel, maybe after some research you can go natural too.
    - Maria

    Big Chop: 9/23/07
    Relaxer free for almost 5 years!

  • PolkadotsPolkadots Posts: 5Registered Users
    jcurlady wrote: »
    Are you old enough to care and make decisions for your hair now? It sounds like your hair needs MOISTURE... and I mean plenty of it. The relaxer, blow dryer, and curling iron are ruining your hair. That's just the big part of it. The products that you may be usings might be drying your hair as well. You're at the right place. I haven't been on here long, one of the pros will kick in and give you some sound advice. Are you considering going natural? I do know that when you have a relaxer, you need even more moisture than if you didn't have the relaxer. Do you wash your hair w/ shampoo? Do you know about co-washing? The more info you give about your hair routine and product use will help us give you the advice you need.
    I just turned 18 this year :toothy7:. I have 2 older sisters who tried taking care of their own hair around my age and it all fell out so my mom just takes care of mine to keep that from happening (Which is kind of ironic...it already breaking off).
    I wanted to grow my relaxer out, but my mom isnt too happy about that. Plus she said my hair will never return to how it was before I had it relaxed because the chemicals in the relaxer probably altered my hair texture (it'll just be nappy and worse than it already is). She told me the only way to get it back the way it was, was to cut all my hair off and re-grow it (which I'm not looking forward to); I dont know if she is being serious or just joking but thats something I dont want to do :(
    I wash my hair at least every other week but I dont use conditioner with every washing. Maybe every other wash I'll use conditioner (I'll let it sit from 10 minutes or several hours). I try to purchase shampoos with a moisture aid in them (Currently using Umberto Moisture)
    I have no idea what co-washing is :oops:
    That girl in the photo needs about 6 months of co-washing and deep treatments, and a good trim. Sounds like you are frying your hair, and if it wasn't dead already you'd be killing it. It's disintegrating.

    You sound like you're old enough to care for your own hair. Think about moisture (lots of it) in the form of deep treatments and conditioners/condition washing. Think about a protein treatment to bolster up the damaged hair. Think about laying off the relaxer and curling iron, and doing curler sets and hood drying, maybe a little blow drying or wrapping.

    Here are some tuturial videos I found helpful, from a women with relaxed hair in fabulous condition. See Damaged Hair, rollersetting, and wrapping videos.

    http://healthytextures.typepad.com/my_journey_to_healthy_hai/hairstyling_videos/index.html

    Thanks for the links. I'll definitely check it out.

    Do you think I'm using the wrong products? I've switched from Motions, to African Pride (I think thats the name of it), to Pantene, to Nexxus, to Redken, and now this new salon brand called Umberto. I have no knowledge of hair care...

    I know this summer, I was exposing my hair to a lot of sunlight.
    I stopped wearing ponytails cause it was literally strangling my hair.
    mariag002 wrote: »
    Sounds like your frying your hair :cry: and your mom is using harsh chemicals too. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I can relate to everything you said, especially the part about the stylist cutting your hair too short.

    If you can't go natural because your mom won't allow it, then you should visit Healthy Textures at http://healthytextures.typepad.com/my_journey_to_healthy_hai/
    That website is owned by Macherieamour who has the prettiest relaxed hair I've ever seen. She gives great tips for relaxed and natural hair.

    How old are you? If you're over 17 I think you should sit down with your mom and tell her how you feel, maybe after some research you can go natural too.

    She is so convinced that my hair is going to look like a dry matted mess if I grow it out :shock: I think she is trying to scare me on purpose 'cause I dont want my hair looking worse than it is. I think she is just afraid of managing my hair if I decide to go natural. I am too kinda 'cause I dont know what to expect. And I wouldn't know what to do either; I'll probably walk out with a bed head everyday.



    Thanks for the links Juicy Tube! I'll check those out as well =)
  • mariag002mariag002 Posts: 3,557Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I relaxed my hair for 26 yrs and although I can't say my hair is 100% the same as it was when I was 10 (honestly I just can't remember) I can definitely say I love my hair the way it looks and feels now and to me my hair is still better than my relaxed hair. I would recommend to anyone that they should go natural only if they are ready mentally, its a whole different mindset. If you look at my Fotki page you will see that although I didn't relax my hair for 10 months my hair grew like crazy, I was still able to wear it straight, my ends looked awesome, and contrary to what everybody told me my hair didn't fall out. I just had to take care of it in a different way, which was probably the biggest challenge.

    You don't use conditioner? How do you detangle your hair without conditioner it?
    - Maria

    Big Chop: 9/23/07
    Relaxer free for almost 5 years!

  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    hair needs conditioner at every wash!
    the lack of conditioning is definitely contributing to your hair's dryness and breakage.
  • jcurladyjcurlady Posts: 626Registered Users Curl Novice
    ITA w/ mariag. I can't remember what my hair looked like before I had a relaxer. My mom cared for my hair as well. So, I really was scared of taking care of my hair on my own. I do remember that my hair was so much softer w/o the relaxer. My mom's biggest headache about my hair was that there was soooo much of it and it took forever to wash it and even longer to put the hot comb on it. Polkadot, you've come to the right place. I love my natural hair sooo much more than my relaxed hair and I think that I was more sceptical than everyone on here about what my natural hair would be like. So, be encouraged. You've got to start somewhere. You don't have to cut your hair off completely. I did the big chop b/c I wanted to start off w/ short hair in order to train it up like a child and when it's grown I hope it will not stray(okay that's a little corny). You have options and so many people who are happy to help u through this.
    if luvin KCKT and KCCC is wrong I don't wanna b right

    sell crazy somewhere else...we're all stocked up here.
  • midgimidgi Posts: 2,409Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Welcome Polkadots!

    Your mom was right about one thing: you're going to have to cut ALL the damaged hair off in order for you to start over again, but that doesn't mean you have to cut it all at one time.

    There are a lot of girls on the board who wait months and years, allowing their natural hair to grow to a length they're comfortable with before they snip off all the relaxed bits.

    I transitioned last May at age 18, but I wish I would've done it years ago! My mother wasn't at all happy with my decision but I was in college by then and starting to do my own thing.

    Now my hair is a little bit longer than it was in May and she still hates it, and I don't care :cheers:. As much as I love my mom, my hair is MINE.

    I wouldn't trade my natural hair for anything. It was a challenge re-learning to take care of my curly hair, but I honestly don't miss relaxers and all the problems that came with them like: stinky hair, dandruff, itchy/dry scalp, scabs, broken/split ends, hard/crispy hair, and throwing away $40 every two weeks.
    I just want to do what I want to do when I want to do it.

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file