CurlTalk

Umm, did I SAY you could touch my hair?

OK, so I was having pretty much the best hair day of my entire life today. I'm talking zero frizz, no triangle head, huge clumps, etc...I NEVER have hair like that (I finally mastered my routine last night...clipping is KEY for me!) Anyway, I was at school today, just sitting in a chair minding my own business. Then all of a sudden, this girl that I don't even know came up behind me and thrust her hands into my hair and visciously scrunched it. I didn't even have time to react! I asked her to stop, but she just told me she wanted to touch my curls and she started RAKING her fingers through my curls! I literally had to push her away. By the end of it all, my perfectly defined curls ended up being a big fluffy frizzball with no more shape whatsoever. I was SO mad! I had planned on taking PICTURES of my hair, it looked so good this morning, and now its all ruined and I'll probaby never get it that way again. Sorry to rant, I just get so FRUSTRATED when people start touching my hair! Where did they get the idea that they have the right to do it? ARGH. How do all of you deal with this? I don't know how to ask people to stop without seeming rude or paranoid.
EXTREMELY thick, medium 3B-3C hair;
I have yet to find a hair twin ANYWHERE...website or real life :(

Current routine: Um, I don't feel like updating my siggie every thirty minutes. :) I'm experimenting right now! (loving the overnight plop!)

Comments

  • GoddessCurlsGoddessCurls Posts: 1,537Registered Users
    I hate when people do that, it's like we're a novelty or something. They come and say are these natural and before you have a chance to reply they have thier hands in your hair. I have a friend (who I'm goin out with tonight actually) she has naturally slightly curly hair but she wears it straight. If we are talking to somebody and they touch my hair I kind of slink and say "don't mess it up...you'll make it frizzy" and then she will say "I know how to touch it, I have curly hair...you scrunch it" then she does it. Ok...so that's better than running your fingers through it but it will still mess it up. She never wears it curly so she doesn't really know not to mention that hers isn't as curly as mine so it's not the same.

    Anyway...I feel ya...it sucks! I'm sure you'll get that hair again.
    ________________________
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    Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
  • thataliciagirlthataliciagirl Posts: 477Registered Users
    I have an uninvited hair touching story too!

    I had a portrait photography assignment today at school ... it was me, a guy, an older woman who has barely wavy hair who straightens, and another girl with gorgeous blonde curls. So Jacqueline (older lady), she's really nice and all, but she suggested that Bethany and I go to the bathroom and put hand lotion in/on our hair to smooth the frizzies. Brian then said that he's put together a box of hair/makeup products for shooting touch-ups. Jacqueline said something about just putting something or other product in it and I was just like "You have no idea how much trouble I go through with my hair, and how much stuff I put in it" ... Bethany said "me too," and she and I shared a look and I could tell she was just as put-off by the idea of lotion as I was!!

    We ended up using water, after Bethany and I pretty much told them there wasn't much anyone could do to control our curls :tongue3: They were touching her hair a lot (mine was up specifically so they wouldn't try to make it do anything it didn't want to do on it's own) and running their fingers through it ... I was shuddering!

    I really want to tell Bethany about nc.com but I'm scared she'll think I'm a big freak ... haha :)

    2c/3a; CG/Mod since 5/07

    Counting down!:
    Shooting my 1st wedding - May 17th
    Portfolio Review - May 23rd (wish me LUCK!)
    Graduation - June 20th
    Move back to MAINE!! - Late July

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    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • banjocurlbanjocurl Posts: 1,020Registered Users
    I just get so FRUSTRATED when people start touching my hair! Where did they get the idea that they have the right to do it? ARGH. How do all of you deal with this? I don't know how to ask people to stop without seeming rude or paranoid.

    i dunno. i mean if someone has a boob job do people come up and touch them and ask if they are real?? i had shoulder surgery and people insist on slapping me on the shoulder. i yell STOP!! they usually do. annoying....
    Susan suburban NY
    3b going gray, not thick, waist length when wet, a bit below shoulders when dry
    CG since 11/11/04
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fbanjolady%2F" class="Popup
    PW: banjo
    HG: suave and honey for co-wash, deva, i use garnier fructis regular CO's or boots pink or white as leave ins and LA looks sport gel. plop w microfiber turban, then curl towel scrunch, then another turban.i sleep with the turban on. little one minute hair styling videos /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fuser%2Flazycurls" class="Popup
  • FallOutCurlFallOutCurl Posts: 339Registered Users
    OMG!!!
    That stuff really cheeses me off the way people just assume it's perfectly ok to TOUCH!!!!
    I had a simular experience at work when some silly woman (with short, relaxed, bone straight, damaged hair) came over and asked the most ridiculous question I've ever heard, I quote
    "OMG is that your real hair? Wow it's natural how do you make it curly? "[by this time her hand is in my hair and causing so much frizz]:evil1:
    I almost fainted because I had just wet my hair in the sink to get ready to go out.
    I'm sorry if I sound rude but this seemed like a silly question for her to ask because most black people with natural hair is either curly or kinky either way it's still curly.
    Maybe I was mad with her b/c she totally messed up my hair. The funny thing is if I was to do the same to her she would so freak out.
    Since that day I vouched that if someone was to try and put their hand in my hair I would move and tell them my hair tangles easily and I dont really feel like removing knots. If I wasn't quick enough I might go tit-for-tat and put my hand in their hair and say "oh wow your hair is straight how did you get it like that" something along those lines if I was feeling catty.
  • MintMint Posts: 1,143Registered Users
    southernbelle08,

    It's annoying when people touch your hair without permission, but raking and scrunching?? :angry7: I haven't had anyone mess up my hair to that extent but if it happened I'd say something along the lines of "Please don't touch my hair." It would be unreasonable if people viewed you as "paranoid" or "rude" for politely asking them to stop touching your hair. Plus, they are the ones being rude, so don't worry about it. :)

    I'm sorry to hear about that and I hope you get more good hair days (I'm sure you will)!
    2a/M-C/ii hair. Super long.
  • FallOutCurlFallOutCurl Posts: 339Registered Users
    Yeah I actually think Mints way is better then mine. Nice and polite
  • ACHACH Posts: 245Registered Users
    Went to DH's Christmas party for work last weekend. There were at least 3 that touched it. I am kind of a touch-me-not anyway. On the bright side, one that touched it normally wears hers curly and was straight that night. She was obviously disappointed that she'd done it when she saw me rockin party curls.
    Amy
    2b/3a-ish at times
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2FAHopewell1%2Fhair%2F" class="Popup
    PW hair

    Currently using
    Jessicurl HCC
    Aloeba
    CK
    AG Liquid Effects
  • funnybean14funnybean14 Posts: 58Registered Users
    It is worse when the people who want to touch your hair are younger. I am a teacher and the kids are always trying to touch my hair. How do you tell a fragile, emotional, 15 year-old that touching hair is rude? I have one child that comes up to "boink" my hair; she pulls out a curl as far as it will stretch and lets go. By the end of the day, I am nothing but a mass of frizz. On the brighter side, no one wants to touch frizzy curls!
    3A/3B I think...
    Modified CG: cowash Suave Berry Smoothie or Toasted Vanilla, cond TRESemme Vitamin E Moisture rich (I leave some in), Loreal Studio melting gel, Aussie sprunch to finish
  • toothfairytoothfairy Posts: 242Registered Users
    :toothy7:I don't mind it actually. it means they think you have gorgeous bouncy curls, which is a rarity in a country of stick-straight ironed hair.

    I only mind people touching my hair when it's wet and barely anyone does.
  • tashtash Posts: 112Registered Users
    It is worse when the people who want to touch your hair are younger. I am a teacher and the kids are always trying to touch my hair. How do you tell a fragile, emotional, 15 year-old that touching hair is rude? I have one child that comes up to "boink" my hair; she pulls out a curl as far as it will stretch and lets go. By the end of the day, I am nothing but a mass of frizz. On the brighter side, no one wants to touch frizzy curls!
    yeah a teen could really take that personally and the next thing you know you don't just have frizzy hair, you have tp in your yard :lol: ;)
    what about at the begining of the year make up a rule sheet with all the normal stuff like: stay in your seat, raise your hand, don't touch other peoples hair without asking, don't talk when other poeple are trying to work etc. then if people start touching your hair just go over ALL the rules with the whole class. then you won't be singleing anyone out.

    I don't mind people touching me that much, but I have never had anyone mess up my hair either. I also kinda feel like my personal space is smaller then most other Americans. like a lot of people here don't like strangers coming and touching thier baby. but in Mexico its good luck or something to touch a baby and say how cute they are or something so when I lived on the border older Mexican women would touch her feet all the time. I was holding her and they were not trying to take her from me or anything....



    one time though my toddler had the useual frizzy whatever toddler hair (she is a 1 though, no curls... yet) but her hair is very fine and gets weighed down and greesy preaty easily. in the checkout one time the lady behind us suggested that I use baby oil to smooth her hair down! um... ew. that would have just ended in a greesy nasty mess (plus that's petrolum, ew). right now what I do is make a spray for my hair that is mostly water with a little CO and I use it to help refresh my hair and to keep hers tangle free. its been working wonderfully, especilly for her hair (which I think is 1a/b... but might turn 2 when shes older. thats what mine did).
    2b/c with some 1 and 3a tendencies. fine-medium, still searching for the HG..... Hair Bio
  • JuicyTubeJuicyTube Posts: 2,369Registered Users
    That is SO disrespectful! If I even think about touching someone's hair, I will only touch a single strand near the root with one finger, and maybe a thumb, not playing around with it and messing it up. :angry7:
    3b-3c CG
  • allicatallicat Posts: 134Registered Users
    I would be so annoyed/shocked- that girl was really bold! It would have been hard for me to tell her to stop, but I think I could do it using humor eg. "hands off the hair- its a vanity thing" or something to that effect...
    CG
    3a-ish & fine stranded, Botticelli type curls
    Currently using low poo/no poo & Ouidad Stylers
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  • curlycaramelcurlycaramel Posts: 472Registered Users
    my friends play with my hair, even though they all know I don't like it.
    One of them also has curly but hers is a lot thinner and looser she loves people playing in her hair. fine but I don't and she knows I don't like it but still does it.

    my other friend did it today she said "you're hair looks great today" then prodceeded to run her fingers through it. I backed off and told her I don't like people touching my hair. she said I know but it looks nice.

    I don't see what makes people think they can touch someone's hair, most normal people wouldn't walk up to a woman with nice boobs and grab them so why hair :confused:
    Long thick curls, mix of 3b/3c
  • Keira25Keira25 Posts: 16Registered Users
    OMG!!!
    This is crazy!!! there's always some people who think they can do whatever!!
    It really gets on my nerves when people try to touch my hair!!
    I go angry...and now I can see them coming... so I'm always prepared to block any stupid attempt of touching my hair (ooo I slapped some hands...). LoL. I always explained why though :angel7:
    DON'T EVER BE AFRAID TO BE WHO U REALLY ARE INSIDE!!!

    :blob7:Loving my 4a 4b head...:blob7:
  • mus3mus3 Posts: 34Registered Users
    Yeah, I went for my first full body massage the other day and I don't know why it didn't even cross my mind that she would be massaging my head! All of a sudden she had her fingers in my hair (don't get me wrong, it felt great) but when it was over my hair was standing up all over..... I knew it would be messy but not like that! As soon as she left the room for me to get dressed, I was at the sink wetting it down and putting it in a pony tail as fast as I could! Next time I may ask her to skip the head.
  • msjananimsjanani Posts: 624Registered Users
    To me, I don't see how this should be just an "annoying" issue. It's a real INVASION of personal space, and it's incredibly rude. Putting your hands in someone's hair is like grabbing their boob or running your hand down their leg. Seriously. One should always ask before touching, especially if you don't even KNOW the person! I mean, I don't even like being hugged by people who aren't my friends and family (though I love hugs from them!). It's creepy!!! :eek:
    3A low/medium porosity, medium texture

    Current products:
    Stylers: HE Tousle Me Softly, Condition 3-in-1 Mousse
    Conditioners: Terax Crema, Mill Creek Botanicals Henna Conditioner
    Cleanser: DevaCurl NoPoo

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  • StruttsWifeStruttsWife Posts: 819Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    banjocurl wrote: »
    i dunno. i mean if someone has a boob job do people come up and touch them and ask if they are real??
    Maybe that's what we all should do ... next time someone messes with our curls, ask them if they'd invade someone's personal space and start playing with their boobs if they weren't sure they were real either. I think I'll try that next time :thumright:

    When I was in school, the floor instructors drove me NUTS ... I'd be in my chair studying during down time or between clients, and they'd always come up and start playing with my curls. Since it's not advisable to tell your teachers to "**** off", I'd usually end up in a clip by the end of the day :angry8:
    - Tiffany
    Hair Stylist and Curly Hair Specialist - St. Petersburg, FL (Tampa Bay)

    Blog: Live Curly, Live Free
    Facebook fan page: Live Curly Live Free

    Sulfate- and non-water soluble silicone-free since 04/22/2002
    3B, brunette: medium texture, low porosity, high density

  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    Not too many people touch my hair when it's really curly because I automatically jerk back when people get too close or I block their hands. I'm not anti-social or really anti-touch but there is such a thing as personal space and my hair is my personal space 100% of the time unless your my husband or hairdresser.

    Speckla
  • jussamariejussamarie Posts: 61Registered Users
    yuck, this happens a lot to me, one of my friends can't resist touching my curls, but she does it more in like a fluffing way, so it doesn't make a huge difference. my dad, on the other hand, loves to mess with my hair whenever it is wet, and even after i yell at him and tell him he's gonna make it frizzy and mess it up, he does it more. and of course he pulls the whole "i'm your dad" card and then there's no point in arguing, but it makes me soo mad.
    PW: curls
    mostly 3b with some 3a and 3c mixed in; super thick and thirsty
    ~current products: to cleanse: elucence moisturizing shampoo; condition: aussie 3 minute miracle or tresemme mixed with jojoba oil; leave in: suave naturals toasted vanilla; gel: la looks sport gel
    ~~still looking for my HG
  • [B0RN.READY][B0RN.READY] Posts: 43Registered Users
    OK, so I was having pretty much the best hair day of my entire life today. I'm talking zero frizz, no triangle head, huge clumps, etc...I NEVER have hair like that (I finally mastered my routine last night...clipping is KEY for me!) Anyway, I was at school today, just sitting in a chair minding my own business. Then all of a sudden, this girl that I don't even know came up behind me and thrust her hands into my hair and visciously scrunched it. I didn't even have time to react! I asked her to stop, but she just told me she wanted to touch my curls and she started RAKING her fingers through my curls! I literally had to push her away. By the end of it all, my perfectly defined curls ended up being a big fluffy frizzball with no more shape whatsoever. I was SO mad! I had planned on taking PICTURES of my hair, it looked so good this morning, and now its all ruined and I'll probaby never get it that way again. Sorry to rant, I just get so FRUSTRATED when people start touching my hair! Where did they get the idea that they have the right to do it? ARGH. How do all of you deal with this? I don't know how to ask people to stop without seeming rude or paranoid.

    Ugh, I hate that people always feel the need to touch my hair too. :toothy3:
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "Thinkin' of a master plan"

    My hair type is: 3C/4A
  • mysteryflavoredmysteryflavored Posts: 1,271Registered Users
    I've got a friend who touches everything, including my hair, my food, my computer... and I'm seriously about to snap. :boxing:
    Location: North NJ or NYC
  • crimsonshedemoncrimsonshedemon Posts: 2,098Registered Users
    Ugh!
    Curly hair and pregnant bellies.. people think there's an open invitation to touch.
  • b1dd5b1dd5 Posts: 87Registered Users
    hmmm, as annoying as it is, i like it when people touch my curls, its a nice ice breaker when talkin to the laydees! hehehe

    PLus, most of time, if the laydee has curls also, she will ask!
    Album: /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fb1dd5%2F" class="Popup
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    With your curly hair,fun personality,and cuteness in general, you could wear underpants on your head and still look good.
    Very cute. those big juicy curls haa... i love em :P
  • medhavimedhavi Posts: 29Registered Users
    ugh, i had something similar happen to me too. i was in the library doing some work on the computer, and this girl i knew in high school came up behind me and started playing with my hair, which had, up until that point, been styled really nicely.

    next time someone touches without asking, i'm just gonna put my hands in their hair next to their head and run them back and forth and get THEM all knotted and tangled (straight hair knots are worse in curly knots in my opinion), and then say, "there, now we're even!" ;)
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] my beagle mix, ruby!
  • CurlyBrunetteGirlCurlyBrunetteGirl Posts: 83Registered Users
    It is worse when the people who want to touch your hair are younger. I am a teacher and the kids are always trying to touch my hair. How do you tell a fragile, emotional, 15 year-old that touching hair is rude? I have one child that comes up to "boink" my hair; she pulls out a curl as far as it will stretch and lets go. By the end of the day, I am nothing but a mass of frizz. On the brighter side, no one wants to touch frizzy curls!

    I've been boinked a lot before. Somehow, people think it's perfectly okay to grab somebody's hair, pull it, and watch in awe as it bounces back. Yes, I have curls. Get over it.
  • Mamacurl3Mamacurl3 Posts: 1,559Registered Users
    I just love it when someone grabs a curl, pulls it out and says "boooiiiinnnggg" as they let go?:roll: note the sarcasm LOL
    Type: 3a/3b, fine-medium
    Cleanse: hg:whispering windz farm jar soaps,
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    ACV rinse bi-weekly
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  • chewychewy Posts: 17Registered Users
    This happens to me all the time. I'm a guy, and I think girls feel even more in the right when touching a guy's hair. They don't realize that I end up with a frizzy afro after they take their hands out.

    And the worst of it is that everyone thinks I'm a priss for not liking it. Or too into myself. F them. Sometimes I just don't like walking around with a big frizzy white boy afro. Especially at work...