Help!!!

I am new to going curly, since March, and just started going CG as of Tuesday. I am 41 and decided to just go with what God gave me and quit fighting it!! My goal is to let my hair grow to shoulder length or so I think?!!

I think I am a combination 3a/3b. Almost everything I own has some kind of cone in it!! I ordered DevaBlonde One conditoner and [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/DevaCurl-Angell-p-57.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=devacurl-devacurl-angell]DevaCurl Angel[/buylink]l but am waiting for them to get here.

My oldest son graduates from college this Saturday!! I am in DESPARTE need of help picking a gel. Something I can pick up easily would be the key. I am struggling with how terrible my hair looks and overwhelmed by all the products and such out there so any help or advice would be a blessing.

Lori

Comments

  • mysteryflavoredmysteryflavored Posts: 1,271Registered Users Curl Novice
    Oh my goodness! Haha, calm down. :) It isn't all as hard as you think!

    If you want a good, locally available gel, there's always Herbal Essences Body Envy gel, available at most drug stores. If you have a Sally Beauty Supply nearby, I really like the Biotera gel (firm hold).

    What conditioner are you using until the Deva arrives? That can have a very strong effect on your hair's appearance. Are you using a leave-in conditioner?
    Location: North NJ or NYC
  • veronicaveronica Posts: 77Registered Users
    My hair is also 3 a/b. I posted this recently, but my HG gel is Biolage Gelee.
    Know the Truth: www.wm3.org
  • "Lori K""Lori K" Posts: 9Registered Users
    Thanks!
    I am using a natural conditioner I had on hand brand name Sensaria for dry hair. I do have a Biolage detangling one also. I have not been doing a leave it in. I have just been using it in the shower and rinsing. I am afraid leave it in will weigh down my hair.

    I have been drying my hair some with a dryer and diffuser on a warm or cool setting. It is to cold to go out in the morning here in WI with wet hair. I do wet and use conditioner every day.

    I just got an email Curlmart has shipped my stuff!

    I appreciate the tips.
    Lori
  • "Lori K""Lori K" Posts: 9Registered Users
    So I went out last night and bought the Suave coconut co several have mentioned also bought the Herbal Essence gel. Not sure what I am doing wrong. I co every day. Is that bad? I like to shower and get my hair wet every morning. I am then using a towel as mentioned in the CG Book and then putting in gel as advised. I then dry somewhat with a diffuser on a low setting. My hair looks awful. It starts out looking kinda curly but darker then my natural color. As it dries the curls fall out and it looks stringy and terreble. I have used baking soda and water in the begining.

    Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

    Thanks
    Lori
  • JLRcurlyJLRcurly Posts: 245Registered Users
    Lori:

    I just started using the Suave Naturals Coconut as a leave in. I love that when I get out of the shower my hair smells like vacation. LOL Anyway are you using any leave in? If your uncomfortable using co as a leave in I would suggest trying something made to leave in, like Deavacurl B leave in. What would you say your biggest problem is? Hold? Frizz? maybe we could suggest an idea with more information.

    I use a micofiber towel to cut back on the frizz, I also use [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Curly-Hair-Solutions-Curl-Keeper-p-28.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=curly-hair-solutions-curl-keeper]Curl keeper[/buylink] which helps a great deal.

    I need a product with a stronger hold so I use Biolage Gelee
    JEN :hello2:3b, currently bored with my hair.
  • "Lori K""Lori K" Posts: 9Registered Users
    Thanks, I really appreciate all the help, I'm trying not to get frustrated.

    The friz seems to be under control. My curls are falling out and my hair feels a little stiff. I am having a hard time letting it dry. My hair is short and thick.

    We do have soft water which I always thought was better than hard for my hair.

    I used the Suave coconut as the co and did not use a leave in. I have not used anything like that in the past.

    Hopefully that helps with more information for more suggestions.

    One other question, Is there a place on the site to decode all the accronyms people use?

    Thanks to those of you responding to help this new CG!

    Lori
  • preciousjewel76preciousjewel76 Posts: 679Registered Users Curl Novice
    Lori K wrote:
    Thanks, I really appreciate all the help, I'm trying not to get frustrated.

    The friz seems to be under control. My curls are falling out and my hair feels a little stiff. I am having a hard time letting it dry. My hair is short and thick.

    We do have soft water which I always thought was better than hard for my hair.

    I used the Suave coconut as the co and did not use a leave in. I have not used anything like that in the past.

    Hopefully that helps with more information for more suggestions.

    One other question, Is there a place on the site to decode all the accronyms people use?

    Thanks to those of you responding to help this new CG!

    Lori

    The CG routine may not be working for you if you have a lot of buildup from cones (in your old conditoners). Before going CG, you have to remove that cone buildup from your hair. I would suggest using a clarifying shampoo - yes, one that has sulfates! That's the only way to remove the cones so you can start with a "clean slate". I really like V05 Kiwi & Lime Clarifying Shampoo if I feel I need a deep cleaning. Just be sure to follow up with a very moisturizing (and cone free) deep conditioner afterwards. After that, you should be able to follow the CG routine and really see the difference in your hair.

    HTH!
    4A - dense, medium strands - APL/BSL - 3+ years natural!

    :love7:YAY!: GF Triple Nutrition Conditioner, YTCu Color Care Conditioner, Shea Moisture Deep Treatment Masque, LOTD AV Gel, EVCO, JCN&S, KCCC, buns and updos!
  • mysteryflavoredmysteryflavored Posts: 1,271Registered Users Curl Novice
    There's a list of acronyms on the newbie board at the top of the forum index. (:

    Is there any way you could post pictures?

    How exactly are you using a towel on your hair, and what kind of towel? Terrycloth tends to snag on curls and make them frizzy.

    If your hair gets stiff with the gel, which it should, you need to wait until it's totally dry (and don't touch it until then!) and then scrunch out the crunch with your hands. It'll leave your curls soft and shiny.
    Location: North NJ or NYC
  • JLRcurlyJLRcurly Posts: 245Registered Users
    Lori is there is a certain acronym you don't know what it means, just ask.
    JEN :hello2:3b, currently bored with my hair.
  • "Lori K""Lori K" Posts: 9Registered Users
    I am using a terry towel the way the CG book suggest. Thinking I need a micro one.

    Is it ok to wet my hair and do the co every day? If it is ok to do that, do you think a leave in is a must?

    What about drying at least some with a diffuser or most of the way? It's cold here in WI.

    Thanks for the advice about the gel. I am not waiting as it looks bad and then I mess with it so it just looks worse. I am an electrologist and it is just like all the women I work on and the urge to pluck hair on your face when you know you shouldn't.

    Has anyone else used a claifying shampoo and not just the baking soda thing?

    Thanksa alot for all the advice!!!

    Lori
  • preciousjewel76preciousjewel76 Posts: 679Registered Users Curl Novice
    Lori K wrote:
    Has anyone else used a claifying shampoo and not just the baking soda thing?

    Thanksa alot for all the advice!!!

    Lori

    To clarify what I was saying about clarifying shampoo (hee hee:tongue5:), you only need to use the clarifying 'poo to remove cone buildup. If you go CG after that, then you can remove any residue from CG-friendly products with baking soda. I personally prefer to add a bit of lemon juice to my cowash conditioner as opposed to using baking soda+water if I feel the need to remove conditioner buildup.

    Basically, my point is that the CG routine won't work for you if you have heavy cone buildup on your hair. The moisture from cowashing won't be able to penetrate the hair. The cones also could be what's making your hair feel dry and stringy.
    4A - dense, medium strands - APL/BSL - 3+ years natural!

    :love7:YAY!: GF Triple Nutrition Conditioner, YTCu Color Care Conditioner, Shea Moisture Deep Treatment Masque, LOTD AV Gel, EVCO, JCN&S, KCCC, buns and updos!
  • "Lori K""Lori K" Posts: 9Registered Users
    Thanks for clarifying about the clarifying!!:blob7:

    That makes alot of sense now to me as almost everything I was using before had some kind of cone in it. I am anxious to go out and buy some and get this going right.

    I want to try and have my hair decent enough tomorrow for my sons big day!!! He's graduating from college...which is a great aacomplishment for us both as I was 18 when I had him and a single parent. First time I have ever bragged about it as that isn't my style, but I am so proud of him!!

    Thanks again for all the advice...anymore hints or tips on making this work...keep sending and thanks all for the support!
    Lori
  • mysteryflavoredmysteryflavored Posts: 1,271Registered Users Curl Novice
    And about the cowashing: I cowash just about every day (except for the rare occasions I get second day hair, or when I decide to use a mild cleanser), and I still use a moisturizing conditioner and a moisturizing leave-in, as well as moisturizing stylers. My hair looks fab with tons of moisture, especially with how dry it's been lately. I think it's very hard to overdo it with the moisture, and if you do, you'll know either by too much weight or soft, cottony hair that won't clump into curls.
    Location: North NJ or NYC
  • Violeta77Violeta77 Posts: 134Registered Users
    Lori... I started CG last week.

    I used Neutregena Anti Residue shampoo (something like that.... it's in a square bottle and comes in a box). I only did this once to remove the cones from my hair. Won't touch the stuff again unless I somehow get cone buildup. Everyday I CO wash with Trader Joe's (TJ) Nourish condish. I rinse it all out and then add some more, along with Aussie 3 Minute Miracle (in the white bottle.. not the 'Deep' kind in purple... it has cones!). I flip my head over and rinse out some of the condish. Not all. Then I put in gel. I use a mixture of Herbal Essence Set Me Up (HESMU) and L'Oreal Out of Bed (LOOB).

    I don't ues a towel to dry. I use an old long sleeved t-shirt of my husbands. Still flipped over, I pile all my hair in the middle of the t-shirt and use the sleeves to tie it around my head. This keeps my hair up and it dries a bit while I eat bfast, check email, etc.

    When it's time to finish my hair, I let it down, scrunch some more water out with the tshirt (a towel has not touched my hair since last week). Then I 'Pixiecurl' dry my hair with the diffuser. With the dryer off, I take a section, put it into the diffuser bowl up against my head, turn the dryer on, wait a bit, turn the dryer off, THEN take the dryer away from my head. Turning the dryer on and off keeps it from blowing all your hair around and creating frizz.

    Sorry that is so long! I hope it helps, and all the work and frustration at first are really worth it! Try some leave-in, it will help your hair hold moisture during the day instead of frizzing up. Condish under gel is a must! Let us know if you have any other questions!
    A 3B trying to regain control of the frizz!
  • 2poodles2poodles Posts: 2,485Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    You're already getting great advice, so I just wanted to say Congratulations to you and your son!! That's awesome and truly something to celebrate!!
    :wav:

    :occasion7:
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]2Poodles :flower: Southeast PA
    fine, med porosity, normal elasticity
    Currently using the following 2 - 3 x/week:
    Living Proof Perfect Hair Day suphate-free Poo, cone-free CO and styling treatment, plus KCCC

  • "Lori K""Lori K" Posts: 9Registered Users
    Thanks again to you all!!!:toothy7:

    I really appreciate all the kind words and advice!! I didn't know if I was over conditioning or not, and I am probably not doing enough.

    And here I was afraid of asking any questions because I have seen other boards just blast people when they ask questions.

    You guys are great!

    I am was, as probably most of you were, raised with a mom that didn't know what to do with my hair and I never learned either.

    Here's to a new start!!

    God Bless
    Lori
  • "Lori K""Lori K" Posts: 9Registered Users
    Graduation went great! What a proud mom I was/am!

    I have to ask another question or two if people aren't tired of me asking yet.

    My curls still look funny. I asked my husband how he would describe them and he summed it up pretty well. They look "compressed" to my head. In other words my thick hair doesn't look very full. The curls are also falling out some what and my hair isn't as shiny as it normally is. I have a little frizzing but not much.

    I left a little conditoner in my hair but am wondering if I should be using more or am I using to much and that is why it looks limper or comressed. Also should I be using a different product or more if my curls are falling out? Or am I still in the transition stage?

    Thanks
    Lori
  • RachCurlzRachCurlz Posts: 60Registered Users
    Sometimes my hair looks like that (compressed) when I don't rinse out my co-wash all the way. After rinsing it thoroughly, you can use a different (thicker) conditioner but concentrating on the ends/length instead of the scalp. Then it's helpful to rinse only some of that conditioner out (using the thicker condish as a leave-in) or to rinse that out all the way and apply a separate leave-in, again concentrating on the ends/length.

    You can also use clips (usually duckbill or mini claw clips) to lift the parts of your hair that tend to stay smashed against your head. If you do a search on clipping there is a thread with pictures of how some people clip there roots. It can sometimes take a few weeks until your hair adjusts to the CG routine and starts looking great, so don't give up!
    And congrats on your son's graduation!
    3b with 3a & 3c shoulder length curls.
    Mostly CG.
  • eweniqueewenique Posts: 1,502Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    You've already gotten some great suggestions, here are a few more...

    Keep in mind that your scalp and hair need time to adjust, usually 3 - 6 weeks, so be patient. After a while your hair will figure out your new routine and start to behave a little better. It takes a bit of experimenting to find products and routines that work best for you. You are off to a good start! Be sure to massage/scrub your scalp with your fingertips every time you wet it, rinse well, then apply conditioner to detangle and moisturize.

    You might have to use more conditioner than you'd think - from a quarter size blob to palmfuls, depending on the richness of the conditioner you are using. Your hair should feel slimy like seaweed after you rinse it. Using gel on dripping wet hair, then scrunching out the excess can help cut down on the frizz. Try different amounts of gel until you find what works best. Having some crunch when it's dry is usually good. Scrunch the crunch when your hair is completely dry and soft curls should result. If your hair stays crunchy or is stringy when dry, then cut back on the amount of gel.

    Have fun experimenting and welcome to the curly girl world! :nike:
    2C wavy with some spirals. CG since April 07. Medium texture and porosity.
    COs: Yes to Cucumbers
    Stylers: Miss Jessies Coily Custard, KCCC

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Live Simply. Use Soap
    www.TheLatheredLamb.com
    www.EweniqueEssentials.artfire.com
  • gretaschugretaschu Posts: 8Registered Users
    I agree with the other posts, I don't think you've given it enough time yet.

    My hair looked downright AWFUL for about two months before it adjusted, and then it looked borderline bad for another few weeks while i figured out how best to style it. I eventually found the light at the end of the tunnel and I will NEVER go back!!

    No one else has mentioned this as an option, but I have found that the towel drying method mentioned in CG does not work for me. I much prefer "plopping" (there are descriptions of this throughout the board) and diffusing VERY gently using th pixiecurl method (also described elsewhere in the board).

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