Why Can't I Own a Canadian? (Satire! - Supports Gay Rights)

UsodaUsoda Registered Users Posts: 918
This may raise your ire if you are a conservative or a fundamentalist against gay rights. Please regard this as fair warning if you care to read ahead. If despite this you still complain later: :angry4:









I'm not gay but I support gays with all my heart. To be honest I'm embarrassed I have to even state that, it's unimaginable that people well into the new millennium openly and proudly discriminate against those different from them. I'm dismayed at those who use biblical doctrine to validate their close-minded views, so I was glad to find the following.


This was written in 2002 in response to conservative Dr. Laura and her assertion that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and should not be condoned under any circumstance.


    Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them: When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die? I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted fan, Jim

Comments

  • battinlashbattinlash Registered Users Posts: 1,850
    I've read this before and still find it amusing. If there has ever been a rebuttal to this, I haven't see it.
  • curlygirlymecurlygirlyme Registered Users Posts: 1,340
    I'm conservative and I'm not for or against gay rights. I think people need to do what's right for them. If that means they are gay then so be it. The Bible obviously has outdated ideas, but I think the way in which the guy wrote this was kind of silly, but I do see his point. I think people who say gays shouldn't be married need to butt out. If they feel so strongly that they shouldn't do it according to God's Law then let them deal with it when they meet their maker just like the rest of us will have to answer to him.
  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Registered Users Posts: 15,402 Curl Neophyte
    :toothy7: Love it...thanks
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  • shellynotshellynot Registered Users Posts: 1,140
    not to tousle anyone's pretty curls, :wink: but i thought i'd offer a rebuttle (and i know, i know, you said no complaining, but you were complaining so i thought i would too).

    People always use the fact that all of the old testament is outdated to justify that homosexuality is considered detestable by the bible. However, what people fail to realize is that homosexuality is not clumped with all of these old traditions that are always cited. People never cite any other verses in chapter 18 of Leviticus, where the verse about homosexuality comes from. Here are some examples of verses from chapter 18...

    verse 6 -- "No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations." (It then goes on to mention all of the incest that is considered dishonorable. Today, we call this molestation.)

    verse 23 -- (which comes directly after the verse about homosexuality) -- "Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself...that is perversion." (Today this is called...perversion.)

    ----
    I'll agree that many of the traditions in the old testament are not up to today's standards. Many of them aren't applicable to our culture. However, everything else in chapter 18 seems to be applicable to culture... (except probably the verse about not sleeping with a menstruating woman...although, as a virgin myself, that does sound really nasty to me.)

    So, I'm not saying that this proves that homosexuality is wrong, I'm just saying that people shouldn't try to justify themselves by discrediting the bible. Christians recieve enough crap as it is everyday just for believing what we do. So please, read the rest of the bible (or at least the part you are discrediting) before you say that it is not applicable to our culture.
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  • thataliciagirlthataliciagirl Registered Users Posts: 477
    shellynot wrote: »
    Christians recieve enough crap as it is everyday just for believing what we do.

    Not to tousle your curls, but, on a daily basis do you think gay/lesbian/bisexual/trans gendered, or christians receive more crap for believing what they do? I do not think it is the latter.

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  • violaviola Registered Users Posts: 224
    The blame for the crap given to Christians belongs squarely on the politicians who hijacked it.
  • shellynotshellynot Registered Users Posts: 1,140
    shellynot wrote: »
    Christians recieve enough crap as it is everyday just for believing what we do.

    Not to tousle your curls, but, on a daily basis do you think gay/lesbian/bisexual/trans gendered, or christians receive more crap for believing what they do? I do not think it is the latter.

    glb's (not trans-gendered people, i'm sure that trans-gendered people receive a TON more criticism and prejudice that christians) receive crap simply for one aspect of their life: sexuality. In some cases, two: sexuality and appearance. Christianity encompasses so many aspects of a person's life: not only religious beliefs, but economical, political, and social beliefs as well. Daily, I hear, read, or see something that feels to me like an attack on my beliefs, either directly to my face or indirectly (on tv, in newspapers, this thread, etc.). I am in a scientific field--pharmacy--so evolution is taught at my school.

    Anyways, there is no way to tell which group of people "receives more crap," nor does it matter. It was definitely not the point of my response to say that christians are attacked more than glbt's. I didn't say that at all.

    I'm sorry if anyone feels as though I am preaching at them. Definitely not my point. My original response was meant to show a different side of the argument, and to defend my beliefs. I hope that no one takes me as "anti-gay" or prejudice; i have plenty of friends who are gay or bisexual who know my opinion on the subject and remain friends with me.
    2c/3a
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    "Your head is like a crown on you.
    It is as beautiful as Mount Carmel.
    Your hair is as smooth as purple silk.
    I am captured by your flowing curls."
    Song of Solomon 7:5 (NIRV)

  • shellynotshellynot Registered Users Posts: 1,140
    viola wrote: »
    The blame for the crap given to Christians belongs squarely on the politicians who hijacked it.

    i'm not really sure if i'm understanding what you said the right way, but I agree that many crooked politicians who claim to be christians have corrupted what public thinks of christianity. It's really too bad.
    2c/3a
    curl blog
    curl album


    "Your head is like a crown on you.
    It is as beautiful as Mount Carmel.
    Your hair is as smooth as purple silk.
    I am captured by your flowing curls."
    Song of Solomon 7:5 (NIRV)

  • iris427iris427 Registered Users Posts: 6,002
    It bothers me when people use the Bible to justify things because there are so many things in the Bible that it's not possible to justify in this day and age. That kind of discredits it as a source for 21st century ethics, IMO. It's fine if that's people's individual opinions or religious institutions, but we're supposed to live in a country with separation of church and state, and while some Christians might resent what they perceive as daily attacks on their beliefs (e.g. the example of learning about evolution), I really resent how some Christians are trying to push their religious views on the rest of society (e.g. the movement to ban the teaching of evolution in schools and replace it with Intelligent Design)

    Why do some Christians care so much about who other people have sex with anyway? Even if they believe it's an abomination, let those people answer to God in the end, then. Or do they believe it's contagious?

    This made me laugh:
    Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
  • iris427iris427 Registered Users Posts: 6,002
    I'm conservative and I'm not for or against gay rights. I think people need to do what's right for them. If that means they are gay then so be it. The Bible obviously has outdated ideas, but I think the way in which the guy wrote this was kind of silly, but I do see his point. I think people who say gays shouldn't be married need to butt out. If they feel so strongly that they shouldn't do it according to God's Law then let them deal with it when they meet their maker just like the rest of us will have to answer to him.

    That sounds like you really do support gay rights. All it means to support gay rights is to believe that gay people are entitled to all the same rights as straight people. And, at least in terms of marriage, that is pretty much what you are saying here.
  • KitaraKitara Registered Users Posts: 1,224
    *deleted*

    Ack! Nevermind. Sorry. I didn't realize this was an old thread bumped by a spammer and I responded as if it was new. :angry7:
  • EilonwyEilonwy Registered Users Posts: 12,391 Curl Connoisseur
    I don't see why people think that the best defense for gay rights is to say that Judaism is stupid and insult observant Jews.

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