The Business of Being Born

RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
See the trailer for Ricki Lake's new movie, The Business of Being Born. I can't wait to see it.

http://thebusinessofbeingborn.com/
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  • PhDCowPhDCow Registered Users Posts: 1,621 Curl Connoisseur
    I replied on the other thread, but I was just thinking right now as I was doing the dishes.

    Both of my births involved serious medical interventions.

    With Emma, my 37 week appt and ultrasound showed that my placenta had stopped working and she was non-reactive on a NST. When I got the hospital that Tuesday evening, they inserted Cervadil, gave me a shot of morphine, and let me sleep the night away. The next morning, my cervix hadn't even softened, but they took the Cervadil out and started Pitocin. I was stuck in bed as I had to have constant monitoring. Wednesday night, they stopped the Pit, put in more Cervadil, but no morphine. I had back contractions lasting a half an hour. Thursday morning, still no progress and Emma was showing signs of distress, so she was born via c-section at 12:16 pm.

    Later, I learned that I had showed signs of pre-eclampsia for a couple of weeks, but the doctor who examined me (the old semi-retired grouchy guy) missed the signs.

    When I was pregnant with Colin, my blood pressure shot up at 10 weeks, so I was immediately placed on Aldomet. At 30 weeks, my blood pressure shot up again and I was assigned to bedrest, puncuated by biweekly NST and biophysical profiles. At 37 weeks, I delivered him by scheduled c-section. I went into the hospital at 5am, and he was born at 7:47am.

    5 years later, I still haven't come to terms with Emma's delivery. I should probably seek therapy since I do exhibit symptoms of PTSD related to her delivery.

    But, Colin's delivery I'm totally fine with. It was nice and orderly and he was born healthy. I'm not ashamed to say that the convenience factor of a schedule c-section was very nice when we had a 19-month old toddler at home.

    The way that I've resolved my birth experiences is that I'm grateful for medical intervention because they were necessary. If they hadn't caught my pre-e and failing placenta at that 37 week appt, I probably would have gotten very sick and Emma probably would have been a stillborn. I'm still pissed about being put through so much trauma before Emma was finally born and I really do think they realized that they dropped the ball as my pregnancy with Colin was monitored extremely closely.

    Don't quite know what my point of this post was. Maybe just that I know birthing is a huge business and the way our society currently is, that's not going to change.
    God doesn't give special kids to special parents. He takes ordinary, imperfect people, and gifts them with his greatest treasures. And therein, he creates special parents.

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    5 years later, I still haven't come to terms with Emma's delivery. I should probably seek therapy since I do exhibit symptoms of PTSD related to her delivery.


    I hear that. I was extremely traumatized for many years following the delivery of my first baby. I had an emergency "crash" c-sec without benefit of adequate anesthesia, and I felt every burning slice while they just strapped me down and cut deeper and deeper. I screamed the whole time and then they pulled an almost-dead baby out of me and I begged the anesthesiologist to put me out (or kill me...I didn't care which), so I also had guilt about asking for mercy for myself without knowing if my baby was dead or alive. According to the records I obtained later, the total amount of time I felt the surgical pain was only 4 minutes, but it was 4 minutes I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I was further conflicted about the ordeal because the hospital staff did save my baby with an intact brain. THEY caused the situation that led to my son's in-utero cardiac arrest, so they saved him right after they almost killed him. It's hard to be grateful and hateful at the same time.

    My son is 21 years old now, and I can still conjure up the painful ordeal of his birth almost instantly. It's a lot less painful now though, and I had a lot of healing especially from my homebirth, which made me very strong and womanly. Ugh...I really hate the OB industry for what it does to women.
  • PhDCowPhDCow Registered Users Posts: 1,621 Curl Connoisseur
    Wow!

    The thing that I get so mad about is that I didn't ask enough questions when they sent me to the hospital with Emma. Had they told me my cervix was long and closed, I probably would have skipped the "slow induction" that eventually caused her distress and just opted for a c-section. I was just in so much shock that I didn't know what to do or say. I hate that it happened that way. They really turned up the fear factor on me.
    God doesn't give special kids to special parents. He takes ordinary, imperfect people, and gifts them with his greatest treasures. And therein, he creates special parents.

  • cajuncurlscajuncurls Registered Users Posts: 270
    I definitely feel my dr. didn't listen to me while I was pregnant.
    I told him at every single appt. that she was in a bad position. She was hurting me in ways I knew weren't right. I mean, I've had two children already, albeit light years ago.
    Labor went great, and I should've been able to deliver her quickly and without an epidural (which I got 30 min. after I hit 10 cm).
    The pain was excruciating and I needed to push BADLY but I could tell that when I did, the pain was too intense in my (excuse me) rectum and not where it should be. Her head was crooked and she was trying to come out ear first. He had to turn her manually and then yank her out with forceps. I was very, very VERY sore.
    She is now 3 1/2 months old and her head is still slightly misshapen- but enough so that I wonder if her skull will develop correctly.
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  • PoPo Registered Users Posts: 2,607
    With Emma, my 37 week appt and ultrasound showed that my placenta had stopped working
    Later, I learned that I had showed signs of pre-eclampsia for a couple of weeks, but the doctor who examined me (the old semi-retired grouchy guy) missed the signs.

    The same things happened to me!!!! My whole body was swollen, I was getting dizzy, having horrible headaches, and my OB just brushed it off. I was 18 and scared shitless, I just assumed he was right.

    The only reason I got out of getting a c (although, my OB started trying to scare me into one because I wasn't progressing as quickly as he wanted) was that I was already in early labor (4-5 cms dilated) when I was admitted to the hospital, and by some miracle, dilated 5 cm in an hour. Come to find out, every woman in my family has labored like that.
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  • HairproductjunkieHairproductjunkie Registered Users Posts: 363
    I hear that. I was extremely traumatized for many years following the delivery of my first baby. I had an emergency "crash" c-sec without benefit of adequate anesthesia, and I felt every burning slice while they just strapped me down and cut deeper and deeper. I screamed the whole time and then they pulled an almost-dead baby out of me and I begged the anesthesiologist to put me out (or kill me...I didn't care which), so I also had guilt about asking for mercy for myself without knowing if my baby was dead or alive. According to the records I obtained later, the total amount of time I felt the surgical pain was only 4 minutes, but it was 4 minutes I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I was further conflicted about the ordeal because the hospital staff did save my baby with an intact brain. THEY caused the situation that led to my son's in-utero cardiac arrest, so they saved him right after they almost killed him. It's hard to be grateful and hateful at the same time.

    I may never have sex again after reading this. :shock:

    I am so sorry RCW--that's horrible!
    
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  • PhDCowPhDCow Registered Users Posts: 1,621 Curl Connoisseur
    Po wrote:
    With Emma, my 37 week appt and ultrasound showed that my placenta had stopped working
    Later, I learned that I had showed signs of pre-eclampsia for a couple of weeks, but the doctor who examined me (the old semi-retired grouchy guy) missed the signs.

    The same things happened to me!!!! My whole body was swollen, I was getting dizzy, having horrible headaches, and my OB just brushed it off. I was 18 and scared &%$@#!, I just assumed he was right.

    During my pregnancy with Colin, I never once saw that doctor for a check-up.

    And what sucks is that when it came time for my IUD insertion, he was the only one who was available. He ended up tearing my cervix (it's never good when you're in the stirrups, you feel a splash of blood, and the doctor says, "Oh ****.) and cutting the strings too short. The strings have since worked their way into my uterus, so I'll have to have the IUD removed in an operating room.
    God doesn't give special kids to special parents. He takes ordinary, imperfect people, and gifts them with his greatest treasures. And therein, he creates special parents.

  • geminigemini Registered Users Posts: 3,325
    Someone else has said this before (I think it was Iris or Marielle) up after I had my c-section (In my case, it was an induction that turned into a c-section)--

    It's like women are not allowed to properly mourn the delivery if it didn't go as you wanted. You're just supposed to shut up and be happy because "at least the baby's healthy." You can have a healthy baby and still regret the way that he or she came into the world. In my case I should have properly informed myself and been more assertive for the course I wanted, but I also think the medical industry has gotten so deep into the CYA mentality that they have gone overboard with unnecessary medical interventions. I feel jaded towards the OB industry and after 1 1/2 days of unnecessary intervention for an otherwise healthy uneventful pregnancy that ended in a c-section, my attitude towards the next birth is "I already have the scar, just cut me open again and be done with it." It's such a bad attitude, but that it my honest feeling 2 years later after going through the BS the first time around, and it's a shame. I think (and especially with 1st time moms) there's a prevailing attitude that we can't possibly be capable of being in charge of the course of our pregnancies and deliveries.

    I am glad to see that there is a documentary that touches upon this.
  • mad scientistmad scientist Registered Users Posts: 3,530 Curl Neophyte
    gemini wrote:
    I also think the medical industry has gotten so deep into the CYA mentality that they have gone overboard with unnecessary medical interventions.

    I agree with this, but I feel like we as a society have brought this upon ourselves. Doctors are afraid of lawsuits and quite frankly they have every right to be. I read somewhere that the average US OB is sued every other year and settles a case (rightly or wrongly) every 5 years. Its really no wonder that in some states that OB-Gyns are leaving the OB part of their practices in droves.

    My husband has definitely learned in his surgical practice that you are less likely to be sued if you do something proactive even if it leads to complications (ie. operate even if you don't know for sure that its necessary) than if you don't (ie. if something happens to the patient while you are waiting for a definitive indication to operate). We are a culture that believes that doctors aren't useful unless they are doing something/prescribing something to us.

    Its a sorry state of affairs, but that's currently the way things stand.

    I'm looking forward to seeing this documentary also. If we can change the culture around birth - from the patients side FIRST, then I think we can see changes from the medical establishment follow.


  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    I feel jaded towards the OB industry and after 1 1/2 days of unnecessary intervention for an otherwise healthy uneventful pregnancy that ended in a c-section, my attitude towards the next birth is "I already have the scar, just cut me open again and be done with it." It's such a bad attitude, but that it my honest feeling 2 years later after going through the BS the first time around, and it's a shame. I think (and especially with 1st time moms) there's a prevailing attitude that we can't possibly be capable of being in charge of the course of our pregnancies and deliveries.


    I felt this way as well after the horrible c-sec delivery of my first baby. I just went for the c-sec the second time around also, figuring I'd save myself some grief. Well...that was a disaster too.

    Firstly, the doc led me to believe that recovery would be easier with a planned c-sec, because I wouldn't have gone through labor first. WRONG! I was in just as much pain as the first time. The labor part made absolutely no difference in terms of post-op pain and length of recovery. I subsequently found out that labor is actually "good" for babies...it's good for their lungs. There didn't seem to be any benefit to having a planned c-sec. Secondly, I thought I'd be able to get my baby in my arms sooner than the first time. WRONG again. The hospital kept the baby in the nursery and away from me for 6 hours post-op...hospital policy. Thirdly, I thought planned c-sec would be "safer" for the baby. Again, WRONG. The doc accidently CUT my baby's face during the surgery, then the staff tried to hide it from me by covering it with a blanket and hat when they finally brought him to me. I probably would have understood if they had just told me, because accidents do happen, but it pissed me off no end when they tried to deceive me...did they really think I wouldn't notice? It insulted me that they thought I was just yet another stupid mother. The baby subsequently caught a life-threatening staph infection in the wound while in the nursery and almost died. So much for safety. All in all, I hated my planned c-sec even worse than my emergency c-sec.
  • geminigemini Registered Users Posts: 3,325
    I feel like we as a society have brought this upon ourselves. Doctors are afraid of lawsuits and quite frankly they have every right to be.

    Very true...we live in a very sue happy society and the medical industry is a huge target--the high cost of malpractice insurance is the most obvious indicator of how bad things have gotten. There's got to be a better way to do things.
  • cosmicflycosmicfly Registered Users Posts: 1,814
    I'd really like to see this. My first delivery wasn't as planned, but it was far from a disaster- it was a long vaginal delivery with a rather long and painful recovery. While I am mostly happy with my second birth, I'm wondering if I didn't really need the induction- the consulting OB was concerned about possible IUGR even though my gut was that she was just a smaller baby. I waited until 40 weeks for the induction, and it was a really easy labor and delivery, but I wonder if Maya wasn't quite ready- she was very sleepy for a couple of weeks. I really want to try this time to go into labor naturally even if I have to wait until June.

    It's really eye opening to read other posters' stories, though. My birth issues are definitely minor by comparison, and I'm grateful that you all have shared your stories. It's given me a valuable perspective.
  • iris427iris427 Registered Users Posts: 6,002
    gemini wrote:
    Someone else has said this before (I think it was Iris or Marielle) up after I had my c-section (In my case, it was an induction that turned into a c-section)--

    It's like women are not allowed to properly mourn the delivery if it didn't go as you wanted. You're just supposed to shut up and be happy because "at least the baby's healthy." You can have a healthy baby and still regret the way that he or she came into the world. In my case I should have properly informed myself and been more assertive for the course I wanted, but I also think the medical industry has gotten so deep into the CYA mentality that they have gone overboard with unnecessary medical interventions. I feel jaded towards the OB industry and after 1 1/2 days of unnecessary intervention for an otherwise healthy uneventful pregnancy that ended in a c-section, my attitude towards the next birth is "I already have the scar, just cut me open again and be done with it." It's such a bad attitude, but that it my honest feeling 2 years later after going through the BS the first time around, and it's a shame. I think (and especially with 1st time moms) there's a prevailing attitude that we can't possibly be capable of being in charge of the course of our pregnancies and deliveries.

    I am glad to see that there is a documentary that touches upon this.

    That definitely sounds like something I'd say. Robbie Davis-Floyd's book Birth as an American Rite of Passage talks about this kind of grief. It's a great read, an anthropologist's view of our birthing culture, although some of the medical stuff is out of date.

    I also agree with Mad Scientist that litigation is a huge driving factor in what's happening in our medical culture and a lot of c-sections are done for that reason that you mentioned (being proactive). I think that things won't change until patients demand change in their care. And while we have the right to sue and I don't want to see that taken away, I think we do have a tendency to want to point the finger and make someone pay every time something goes wrong in life. Sometimes things just go wrong.
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  • wavezncurlzwavezncurlz Registered Users Posts: 1,814
    This looks good! Unfortunately, I don't see a screening around my area.
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  • inheritedcurlsinheritedcurls Registered Users Posts: 2,954 Curl Connoisseur
    I feel jaded towards the OB industry and after 1 1/2 days of unnecessary intervention for an otherwise healthy uneventful pregnancy that ended in a c-section, my attitude towards the next birth is "I already have the scar, just cut me open again and be done with it." It's such a bad attitude, but that it my honest feeling 2 years later after going through the BS the first time around, and it's a shame. I think (and especially with 1st time moms) there's a prevailing attitude that we can't possibly be capable of being in charge of the course of our pregnancies and deliveries.


    I felt this way as well after the horrible c-sec delivery of my first baby. I just went for the c-sec the second time around also, figuring I'd save myself some grief. Well...that was a disaster too.

    Firstly, the doc led me to believe that recovery would be easier with a planned c-sec, because I wouldn't have gone through labor first. WRONG! I was in just as much pain as the first time. The labor part made absolutely no difference in terms of post-op pain and length of recovery. I subsequently found out that labor is actually "good" for babies...it's good for their lungs. There didn't seem to be any benefit to having a planned c-sec. Secondly, I thought I'd be able to get my baby in my arms sooner than the first time. WRONG again. The hospital kept the baby in the nursery and away from me for 6 hours post-op...hospital policy. Thirdly, I thought planned c-sec would be "safer" for the baby. Again, WRONG. The doc accidently CUT my baby's face during the surgery, then the staff tried to hide it from me by covering it with a blanket and hat when they finally brought him to me. I probably would have understood if they had just told me, because accidents do happen, but it pissed me off no end when they tried to deceive me...did they really think I wouldn't notice? It insulted me that they thought I was just yet another stupid mother. The baby subsequently caught a life-threatening staph infection in the wound while in the nursery and almost died. So much for safety. All in all, I hated my planned c-sec even worse than my emergency c-sec.

    Wow. That is just horrible. I can not even imagine this happening.

    I had a planned c-section and Chas was in my arms from the moment I left the surgical room....It was required by the hospital that anytime I moved rooms...he was in my arms or Daddy's arms. Our only problem was our night nurse went on break and didn't tell anybody....my morphine drip started beeping... We finally called in and the head nurse came and fixed it. Then apparently chewed out our nurse. Hubby saw it happen....I was too drugged to remember her getting yelled at.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    Wow. That is just horrible. I can not even imagine this happening.


    Yeah, it was horrible...but those horrible births motivated me to have a homebirth VBAC, which was the greatest experience of my life, so it all worked out. :wink:
  • mayimmayim Registered Users Posts: 2,301
    i just wanted to bump this because i got the chance to see the film this weekend. it's very good - please see it if you get the chance! (it will be out on dvd in feb. - via netflix, i think)

    it very much reaffirmed the choice i've made to have a home birth.

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  • CurlieGlamourGirlieCurlieGlamourGirlie Registered Users Posts: 1,198
    gemini wrote: »
    Someone else has said this before (I think it was Iris or Marielle) up after I had my c-section (In my case, it was an induction that turned into a c-section)--

    It's like women are not allowed to properly mourn the delivery if it didn't go as you wanted. You're just supposed to shut up and be happy because "at least the baby's healthy." You can have a healthy baby and still regret the way that he or she came into the world. In my case I should have properly informed myself and been more assertive for the course I wanted, but I also think the medical industry has gotten so deep into the CYA mentality that they have gone overboard with unnecessary medical interventions.

    THANK YOU! I've been dealing with this since Luke was born over 4 weeks ago. I'm still coming to terms with him being born via a c-section and feeling badly about it. I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one with these feelings.
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  • marielle448marielle448 Registered Users Posts: 1,823
    yup gemini I remember that. I said it because it's almost as if women are told they are WRONG for wanting to make birth choices. We get the pat, "healthy baby, healthy mommy" answer but none of the mother's concerns or even mourning are ever dealt with. The WOMAN is giving birth, not the doc, the husband, the nurse or even the midwife. If I want to do that standing on my head like a seal then so be it - trust the woman's intincts - she's the one in labor.

    I had an okay birth with my first, a rocking natural hospital birth with my second and now I hope to have a homebirth this fall. I'm glad to have the opportunity to finally feel what it's like to give birth without having to feel like someone in the room is working against you or your wishes.

    We have this movie in our netflix que.
  • PhDCowPhDCow Registered Users Posts: 1,621 Curl Connoisseur
    yup gemini I remember that. I said it because it's almost as if women are told they are WRONG for wanting to make birth choices. We get the pat, "healthy baby, healthy mommy" answer but none of the mother's concerns or even mourning are ever dealt with. The WOMAN is giving birth, not the doc, the husband, the nurse or even the midwife. If I want to do that standing on my head like a seal then so be it - trust the woman's intincts - she's the one in labor.

    I had an okay birth with my first, a rocking natural hospital birth with my second and now I hope to have a homebirth this fall. I'm glad to have the opportunity to finally feel what it's like to give birth without having to feel like someone in the room is working against you or your wishes.

    We have this movie in our netflix que.

    Is this an announcement???
    God doesn't give special kids to special parents. He takes ordinary, imperfect people, and gifts them with his greatest treasures. And therein, he creates special parents.

  • marielle448marielle448 Registered Users Posts: 1,823
    yup and I just found out this week. We're excited I'm just trying to get past the risky first trimester.
  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Registered Users Posts: 1,353 Curl Neophyte
    Congratulations! :blob7:

    How are you feeling?
  • geekygeeky Registered Users Posts: 4,995
    Woo hoo! Congratulations, Marielle!!!!!!
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  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    Congratulations, Marielle. That's great news!!!

    I was just thinking last night about you having a little girl.
  • CynaminbearCynaminbear Registered Users Posts: 4,476 Curl Connoisseur
    Congrats, Marielle!

    I, too, had the attitude of "cut me open, that's what I know" with my 2nd. If I'd had a midwife with my first I probably would have avoided the c-section. My doctor was a wonderful "natural as much as possible" kind of doctor, but the nurses ignored her orders. The 3 nurses I experienced at that hospital were terrible and I wrote a letter of complaint to the hospital afterward for their treatment of me. My second was flipped the night before I went into labor and her shoulder was preseting, so I don't think anyone could have done anything and I was thankful for having a scheduled section. With my 3rd, again I had the attitude that I knew what to expect from the c-section, just go with it. I had wanted a homebirth but opted against it at around 14 weeks.
    The only complication I had after all 3 was an epidural head ache with the 3rd, and the scar on my abdomen. It's vertical and the 2nd scar was the best of all 3. I'd really like to get a tummy tuck to get rid of it and all the stretched out skin. It's like a little butt on my tummy.
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  • iris427iris427 Registered Users Posts: 6,002
    Marielle, congratulations! :toothy7:

    When are you due?
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  • SweetPicklesSweetPickles Registered Users Posts: 850
    Excellent news Marielle! Congrats!
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  • marielle448marielle448 Registered Users Posts: 1,823
    LOL Medussa. Thanks for the congratulations. Just feeling really tired.

    Cynaminbear - my mom also had a vertical scar and the bump issue too. When she had to get a fibroid removed in her mid 40s she also opted to get the tuck and loved it.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    and the scar on my abdomen. It's vertical and the 2nd scar was the best of all 3. I'd really like to get a tummy tuck to get rid of it and all the stretched out skin. It's like a little butt on my tummy.


    My first c-sec was vertical, so I have the butt-belly also. I hate it...
  • inheritedcurlsinheritedcurls Registered Users Posts: 2,954 Curl Connoisseur
    Congrats Marielle!!!

    I thought they didn't do vertical cuts for c-sections anymore? Especially planned ones???

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