First prenatal appt question

Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Registered Users Posts: 1,353 Curl Neophyte
Did you all set up a consultation appointment first that was separate from the first prenatal appointment?

I have my first prenatal appt on Friday with an ob-gyn I was referred to by the women's center at the university where I'm a grad student. The doctor at the women's center was really supportive of my wanting natural childbirth, and referred me to this ob-gyn for that reason. But she said that if this ob-gyn didn't seem to be what I wanted, to come back, and she would refer me to someone else.

So, my question is, do you know if the ob-gyn will be expecting me to ask questions about her birthing philosophy at this appointment? The nurse at the women's center set up the appointment, and now I'm not sure what she told the ob-gyn's office.

As you can probably tell, I've never been through this before, so TIA!

Comments

  • iris427iris427 Registered Users Posts: 6,002
    It doesn't matter what the ob-gyn is expecting. You're the one paying her. It's her job to answer all questions you have about the type of medical care you can expect from her. If she didn't, it would violate medical ethics and the law.

    So don't feel bad about asking a lot of questions. If you want a natural childbirth, finding a provider who shares your philosophy and is willing to work with you is one of the most important things you can do. You want to find out NOW if this doctor is not a good fit for you. You don't want to discover that in your third trimester or in the delivery room.

    Ask specific questions, like about how many natural childbirths she has attended, what criteria she considers necessary for induction or cesarean, how many episiotomies she does, what are the rates of her patients with c-sections, etc. If she can't answer those, or gives vague answers, she might not be so friendly to the idea of natural childbirth--I've heard of many doctors saying they are ok with natural childbirth at first, but then putting more and more pressure on the woman as her delivery approaches to be induced, have drugs, etc.

    You might want to talk to local doulas or a group like La Leche League that tends to attract natural childbirthers--they can probably give you recommendations about doctors and different hospitals (if you are having a hospital birth) and tell you about their own experiences with them.
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  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Registered Users Posts: 1,353 Curl Neophyte
    Iris, thanks for the encouragenment. I think I'll see how it goes on Friday, and if I'm not happy, I might contact the LLL here. I would prefer a midwife, but school insurance doesn't give me many options, so I'm trying to see if I can make the best of the hospital situation.
  • iris427iris427 Registered Users Posts: 6,002
    Iris, thanks for the encouragenment. I think I'll see how it goes on Friday, and if I'm not happy, I might contact the LLL here. I would prefer a midwife, but school insurance doesn't give me many options, so I'm trying to see if I can make the best of the hospital situation.

    Good luck! It sucks how women are restricted in their birthing choices by insurance policies and legal issues. I hope you find someone who shares your philosophy. Keep in mind that even if you do, that doctor may not be available when you deliver, or you may have a nurse who is really pushing the epidural.

    I've found that the people who want to go natural are usually able to (barring unforeseen circumstances like medical complications or very long labors) as long as they are committed to it, have support from family or friends, and have learned coping techniques. Be sure to educate yourself well about labor and medical interventions so that you can better make informed decisions when you are in labor.

    Just remember: it's your body. It's your baby. You have the right to refuse ANY kind of medical treatment you don't want.
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  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    Are congratulations in order??? :bom:

  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Registered Users Posts: 1,353 Curl Neophyte
    Are congratulations in order??? :bom:

    Yes, I just added a ticker to show how far along I am.
  • cosmicflycosmicfly Registered Users Posts: 1,814
    Iris, thanks for the encouragenment. I think I'll see how it goes on Friday, and if I'm not happy, I might contact the LLL here. I would prefer a midwife, but school insurance doesn't give me many options, so I'm trying to see if I can make the best of the hospital situation.

    My insurance doesn't allow me to choose a midwife, but the midwives I use have a "consulting OB/GYN" who women choose as their primary OB/GYN for insurance. Unless there are complications, most prenatal care and all nonsurgical deliveries are attended by the midwives. Something like that might be an option.
  • iris427iris427 Registered Users Posts: 6,002
    Are congratulations in order??? :bom:

    Yes, I just added a ticker to show how far along I am.

    I forgot to say congratulations too :)
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  • mad scientistmad scientist Registered Users Posts: 3,530 Curl Neophyte
    Absolutely, you can start talking about this stuff at the first appointment. Consider the next 40 weeks of doctor visits as really one long conversation leading up to the birth that you want to have.

    With my first, it was my OB who started talking about delivery options at the first appointment, and I was completely unprepared.

    This time, with my second, at my first doctor's appointment (I'm being seen by a family doc) we were already talking about the baby's medical care after birth.

    And congratulations!!


  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Registered Users Posts: 1,353 Curl Neophyte
    cosmicfly wrote:
    My insurance doesn't allow me to choose a midwife, but the midwives I use have a "consulting OB/GYN" who women choose as their primary OB/GYN for insurance. Unless there are complications, most prenatal care and all nonsurgical deliveries are attended by the midwives. Something like that might be an option.

    Thanks for the suggestion! I'll probably look into that too if things don't work out well Friday.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    woohoo! Congrats! :happy2:

  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Registered Users Posts: 5,656
    Congratulations!!
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • KaiaKaia Registered Users Posts: 8,815 Curl Connoisseur
    You can ask the doctor whatever questions you have whenever you feel like asking. In fact, if the doctor seems overly annoyed, that would raise a red flag for me.
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • iris427iris427 Registered Users Posts: 6,002
    Bailey422 wrote:
    You can ask the doctor whatever questions you have whenever you feel like asking. In fact, if the doctor seems overly annoyed, that would raise a red flag for me.

    I agree--good point, Bailey.
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  • M2LRM2LR Registered Users Posts: 8,630 Curl Connoisseur
    Bailey422 wrote:
    You can ask the doctor whatever questions you have whenever you feel like asking. In fact, if the doctor seems overly annoyed, that would raise a red flag for me.

    ITA!!!

    Congrats!!! :cheers:
    :rambo:
  • CurlieGlamourGirlieCurlieGlamourGirlie Registered Users Posts: 1,198
    I agree with all the above posters but wanted to add my CONGRATS!!!
    3b (I think!)
    HGs - Suave Nexxus Knockoff, Jessicurl Weekly DT, L'Oreal Out of Bed, HESMU.
    http://public.fotki.com/CurlyGlamourGirlie
    http://curlyglamourgirlie.blogspot.com
  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Registered Users Posts: 1,353 Curl Neophyte
    Bailey422 wrote:
    You can ask the doctor whatever questions you have whenever you feel like asking. In fact, if the doctor seems overly annoyed, that would raise a red flag for me.

    I think that's a good point too. Thanks!
  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Registered Users Posts: 1,353 Curl Neophyte
    So when I asked how many natural childbirths the ob-gyn had attended, she said, "I'm not sure what you mean by that question." But when I didn't reply, she starting talking about inductions, and episiotomies, etc, so she knew exactly what I meant. :hmph: The impression I got is that she would mostly let me do what I wanted, but it was more like she would put up with that than support it.

    I scheduled another appointment, but I'm going to call the local LLL and try to set up consultations with some other doctors to see if I can find someone I like better.

    Thanks for all the congratulations and encouragement!
  • iris427iris427 Registered Users Posts: 6,002
    So when I asked how many natural childbirths the ob-gyn had attended, she said, "I'm not sure what you mean by that question." But when I didn't reply, she starting talking about inductions, and episiotomies, etc, so she knew exactly what I meant. :hmph: The impression I got is that she would mostly let me do what I wanted, but it was more like she would put up with that than support it.

    I scheduled another appointment, but I'm going to call the local LLL and try to set up consultations with some other doctors to see if I can find someone I like better.

    Thanks for all the congratulations and encouragement!

    Keep looking if you can and see if you find someone you like more. It sounds like she's not crazy about the idea of you doing natural childbirth. I would have asked what you meant by natural childbirth. Some people mean no pain drugs, some people mean just a vaginal birth instead of cesarean, some people mean no interventions at all. But it sounds like you didn't feel satisfied with her response. What exactly did she say about inductions and episiotomies?

    Even if you stay with this doctor, remember it's ultimately up to YOU, not her! Make sure to read up on childbirth and learn techniques for getting through labor without drugs. One intervention often leads to another and avoiding an epidural is a good way to avoid the other stuff.

    Good luck! :)
    3027585431_55b6195e50_s.jpg3028374752_0df4d81a1b_s.jpg3028422696_8dcef38baa_s.jpg
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  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Registered Users Posts: 1,353 Curl Neophyte
    "iris427 wrote:
    I would have asked what you meant by natural childbirth. Some people mean no pain drugs, some people mean just a vaginal birth instead of cesarean, some people mean no interventions at all. But it sounds like you didn't feel satisfied with her response.

    That's a good point.
    What exactly did she say about inductions and episiotomies?
    She said I didn't have to be induced. But she does induce a lot of her patients. (I know a lot of women ask to be induced, so I suppose that's not necessarily just a reflection on the doctor.) She said if I didn't want an episiotomy, then she wouldn't do one.

    I think it was more the tone of her voice than anything that I didn't like.
  • rainshowerrainshower Registered Users Posts: 4,420
    Did you all set up a consultation appointment first that was separate from the first prenatal appointment?

    I have my first prenatal appt on Friday with an ob-gyn I was referred to by the women's center at the university where I'm a grad student. The doctor at the women's center was really supportive of my wanting natural childbirth, and referred me to this ob-gyn for that reason. But she said that if this ob-gyn didn't seem to be what I wanted, to come back, and she would refer me to someone else.

    So, my question is, do you know if the ob-gyn will be expecting me to ask questions about her birthing philosophy at this appointment? The nurse at the women's center set up the appointment, and now I'm not sure what she told the ob-gyn's office.

    As you can probably tell, I've never been through this before, so TIA!

    i looooooved the obs at my obstetrics office! the first visit was a consultation with the lead doctor. that was standard procedure for them. it was a very relaxed setting and gave us a chance to sort of interview him and ask questions about everything from pregnancy to delivery. this was our chance to hear his philosophy on childbirth to see if it matched ours.

    we got detailed information on all of the doctors and nurses there. we were informed about how the prenatal exams were set up. he suggested during the consultation that we create a birth plan, and gave us information to refer to that would help us come up with a plan for how we wanted things facilitated during my delivery. they stressed that the patients complete a birth plan that would be on file at the obs office as well as the deliverying hospital.

    i do think that you should be prepared to ask all the questions that you have, no matter how silly you think they are. ask about their views on c-sections, what their c-section delivery rate is, whether they push meds or encourage med-free deliveries. this is your chance to see if you want to proceed with this doctor(s) giving you care.

    good luck!
    "Dogs stink too, but I like dog stink." ~ rileyb

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