CurlTalk

someone said I need a new hairstyle - i'm so hurt

A woman I work with said that I need a new hairstyle, that she's seen me with the same hairstyle (shoulder length curly, parted off center, no bangs) for 6 years. So, i asked another girl I work with who suggested I mix it up by straightening some days. I guess I could try that but it's a lot of work. I don't know what else I could do to my hair. i tried growing it longer but it just seems stuck at the same length. I tried bangs, that didn't work. Once in a while i might wear it up. I guess I'm just hurt by her comment , especially today when my hair came out pretty good :crybaby:
2c/3a

Worrying doesn't take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace

Best combo so far:
SheaMosture Curl and shine milk , Ouidad heat and humidity gel

Comments

  • MutterbuttMutterbutt Posts: 59Registered Users
    They are probably jealous of someone who can pull off the same style for 6 years. That is the great think about curly hair---it never goes out of style. So wear your same-style-for-6-years with pride curly girl!!! :glasses7:
  • ECCurlyECCurly Posts: 285Registered Users
    Ouch!! That's so rude! I don't understand where people get off saying things about other people like that. I, never in a million years, could bring myself to say something like that. If you want a change for you, then maybe try a headband or barrettes, but I wouldn't straighten or change it because of them. If you're happy with your hair, then that's all that matters.
    VERY fine 2B/3A hair
    Chin-length - growing it out...again.
  • curlyincollegecurlyincollege Posts: 175Registered Users
    ECCurly wrote:
    Ouch!! That's so rude! I don't understand where people get off saying things about other people like that. I, never in a million years, could bring myself to say something like that. If you want a change for you, then maybe try a headband or barrettes, but I wouldn't straighten or change it because of them. If you're happy with your hair, then that's all that matters.

    I completely agree! If YOU feel like a change, then sure, go for it. But don't mess with a good thing because of a rude comment. If you like the way your hair looks, then you should wear it the way you like!!
    This site has released my inner PJ demon... :)

    I'm a 2b/3a in a perpetual search for the products that will actually give me a good hair day in this brutal heat and humidity!
  • msgibletmsgiblet Posts: 5,825Registered Users
    I agree that if you like your hair, then the he!! with what anybody else says! If I ask someone their opinion, I will take what they say under consideration, but something unsolicited like what this woman said is not only rude; it's just not very nice. :cussing:
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fmsgiblet%2F" class="Popup - pw: gibber -- Pics Added 7/10/11
    Fine, Thick, Normal Porosity, Normal Elasticity

    Countess Balashi of Divi Beach in the Order of the Curly Crusaders :occasion5:

    If I'm Going To Have A Bad Hair Day, It Might As Well Be In Aruba!

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • DoodlesDoodles Posts: 1,984Registered Users
    Mutterbutt wrote:
    They are probably jealous of someone who can pull off the same style for 6 years. That is the great think about curly hair---it never goes out of style. So wear your same-style-for-6-years with pride curly girl!!! :glasses7:

    ITA!! Rock on!!
    2A/2B, fine, normal porosity

    Growing out a pixie as of November 2013 :elephant:

    Shampoo: Elucence MBS & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
    Conditioner: Elucence MBC & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
    Leave-in: CJ BeautiCurls
    Stylers: BA gel & AG Re:coil

    Product Junkie that keeps falling off the wagon!:tongue3:
  • tinabcurlytinabcurly Posts: 545Registered Users
    How rude. I probably would have said something snarky like "you need a new personality but you don't hear me complaining, do you?" It's the bi-otch in me- I can't help it.

    Do you want to change your style?
    3a/b mix
    pw:curlyqs
  • pinksugarpinksugar Posts: 2,346Registered Users
    I agree, that was rude of her. I also have a coworker that says he likes my hair better straight. He also told me my husband likes it better straight but won't tell me. Hah! My husband can't stand this guy and doesn't even talk to him, he would have no idea what my husband likes. Since my coworker made those comments I have never straightened my hair for work again! My curly hair is me! If you want to change it you could always wear a headband (which I think was already mentioned).
  • KurlyKaeKurlyKae Posts: 3,413Registered Users
    I agree with every one else. That woman was way out of line. She probably doesn't like her own hair and is jealous of you and yours. It sounds like you have worked with your hair and found what works for you. :cheers: That woman should be so lucky...
    3a/2c
    Trader Joe's Tingle conditioner wash/ conditioner
    AG re:coil, LALooks gel, John Frieda Secret Weapon
  • krispykrispy Posts: 320Registered Users
    Thanks everyone for sharing your opinions, you've made me feel better.
    Maybe I'll try a headband or barettes or something easy like that, but straightening...I don't think so.
    Thanks again, this site and its members are the BEST !!!! :love1:
    2c/3a

    Worrying doesn't take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace

    Best combo so far:
    SheaMosture Curl and shine milk , Ouidad heat and humidity gel
  • hmkennyhmkenny Posts: 1,409Registered Users
    Well, my goodness! That was an insensitive thing to say! Some people have no filters, nothing to screen the thoughts in their head and keep them from becoming words out of their mouth.

    BUT, if you want a change maybe talk to your stylist. Nothing to drastic, just a little pick me up -- a minor variation of your current style or maybe some highlights.
    3a/medium texture/normal porosity
  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Posts: 6,252Registered Users
    I think you could mix in some fun highlights, reds, blondes, or even low lights if you're hair is naturally light. I love playing with hair color, but I'm like a hair color change addict!
  • jeamariajeamaria Posts: 1,851Registered Users
    The fact that she could only manage to suggest straightening it as a styling option shows she doesn't have much sense of style herself. Or she is just a one dimensionally-minded curl hater.

    Whatever her problem is, unless I *really* was thinking of changing things up before she opened her mouth, I'd make a point of wearing it exactly how it is now when at work.
  • DoodlesDoodles Posts: 1,984Registered Users
    jeamaria wrote:
    The fact that she could only manage to suggest straightening it as a styling option shows she doesn't have much sense of style herself. Or she is just a one dimensionally-minded curl hater.

    Whatever her problem is, unless I *really* was thinking of changing things up before she opened her mouth, I'd make a point of wearing it exactly how it is now when at work.

    Very good point!
    2A/2B, fine, normal porosity

    Growing out a pixie as of November 2013 :elephant:

    Shampoo: Elucence MBS & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
    Conditioner: Elucence MBC & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
    Leave-in: CJ BeautiCurls
    Stylers: BA gel & AG Re:coil

    Product Junkie that keeps falling off the wagon!:tongue3:
  • ECCurlyECCurly Posts: 285Registered Users
    jeamaria wrote:
    The fact that she could only manage to suggest straightening it as a styling option shows she doesn't have much sense of style herself. Or she is just a one dimensionally-minded curl hater.

    LMAO!!!! Very well put!! :laughing3:
    VERY fine 2B/3A hair
    Chin-length - growing it out...again.
  • ECCurlyECCurly Posts: 285Registered Users
    Your co-worker definitely deserves a spot in the Curly Hall of Shame!
    VERY fine 2B/3A hair
    Chin-length - growing it out...again.
  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Posts: 6,252Registered Users
    ECCurly wrote:
    Your co-worker definitely deserves a spot in the Curly Hall of Shame!

    ITA
  • rejoicingcurlygirlrejoicingcurlygirl Posts: 654Registered Users
    ITA, that was totally rude. The little angel sitting on one shoulder is saying to forgive her and think about why she would say such a thing (maybe she is jealous or insecure)

    Of course the devil on the other shoulder is saying to say something like "that's funny i was thinking of nominating you for extreme makeover" :laughing9:
    3A; I have HG products!
    Curl enhancer: Mop-C curl cream
    DT: Deva Heaven in Hair; JC WDT
    Gel: B&A; Arc Angel
    Conditioner: Deva OneC; JC too shea
    Frizz fighters: CK, JCS C&S
    PW: curlynow
  • banjocurlbanjocurl Posts: 1,020Registered Users
    krispy wrote:
    A woman I work with said that I need a new hairstyle, that she's seen me with the same hairstyle (shoulder length curly, parted off center, no bangs) for 6 years. So, i asked another girl I work with who suggested I mix it up by straightening some days. I guess I could try that but it's a lot of work. I don't know what else I could do to my hair. i tried growing it longer but it just seems stuck at the same length. I tried bangs, that didn't work. Once in a while i might wear it up. I guess I'm just hurt by her comment , especially today when my hair came out pretty good :crybaby:

    geez. who died and made her the fashion arbiter of the universe? why straighten your hair? enjoy your beautiful curls. you can do a barrette or up or a side pony. these people don't know crap!!! you should hear how people talk to me about my hair, being 50+ and having curls almost to my waist...i always laugh at them.
    Susan suburban NY
    3b going gray, not thick, waist length when wet, a bit below shoulders when dry
    CG since 11/11/04
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fbanjolady%2F" class="Popup
    PW: banjo
    HG: suave and honey for co-wash, deva, i use garnier fructis regular CO's or boots pink or white as leave ins and LA looks sport gel. plop w microfiber turban, then curl towel scrunch, then another turban.i sleep with the turban on. little one minute hair styling videos /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fuser%2Flazycurls" class="Popup
  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Posts: 6,252Registered Users
    banjocurl wrote:
    krispy wrote:
    A woman I work with said that I need a new hairstyle, that she's seen me with the same hairstyle (shoulder length curly, parted off center, no bangs) for 6 years. So, i asked another girl I work with who suggested I mix it up by straightening some days. I guess I could try that but it's a lot of work. I don't know what else I could do to my hair. i tried growing it longer but it just seems stuck at the same length. I tried bangs, that didn't work. Once in a while i might wear it up. I guess I'm just hurt by her comment , especially today when my hair came out pretty good :crybaby:

    geez. who died and made her the fashion arbiter of the universe? why straighten your hair? enjoy your beautiful curls. you can do a barrette or up or a side pony. these people don't know crap!!! you should hear how people talk to me about my hair, being 50+ and having curls almost to my waist...i always laugh at them.

    That will so be me. No mom hair for me! lol
  • ParasolParasol Posts: 291Users Awaiting Email Confirmation
    Your co-workers need a new brain. The problem would be solved then.
    I wouldn't even think of throwing in my opinion when it comes to very "sensitive topics" ,like appearence when I'm not being asked first. That is simply rude. The next day another co-worker will say: "Oh well, straight long hair doesn't really look good on you ,why don't you get a bob-cut?!"
    MY answer would be "Get a life" I know I can be snappy.

  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    hmkenny wrote:
    Well, my goodness! That was an insensitive thing to say! Some people have no filters, nothing to screen the thoughts in their head and keep them from becoming words out of their mouth.

    No filters!
    :laughing3:

    Ya know, there's one (or more) in every office. Can't mind their own business (and they probably don't have enough work to do, either). Somebody stop me know because I'm about to go on a roll of obscenities about people with brains up their arses. :angry5:

    Don't change anything except that woman's face. Aren't you tired of looking at it for 6 years? Did I say that? :angel12:
  • Kierra LockeKierra Locke Posts: 45Registered Users
    I'd ignore the second girl. However, for a quick painless change try switching up the part. The first girl may not have meant any harm. I can't help but think of my middle sister. She has worn the same off-center part for as long as a I can remember (I'm 28). She's actually balding at the part. Me and my older sister have been begging her to at least switch to parting her hair on the right but she won't go.

    Anyway, do whatever you feel comfortable with.
    4a, natural for 5 years :mrgreen:
    Poo: Still on the lookout!
    CoWash: Also need a good one. Recently restarted this.
    RO Conditioner: EMB but looking for something with more detangling power
    DC: CJHB
    LI: EMB
    Style: CJCCCC, HESMU spray gel
  • wyldchildcurlswyldchildcurls Posts: 393Users Awaiting Email Confirmation
    She could have used more tact in telling you but at the same time if people around you are thinking that your hair needs an update then her bluntness in telling you could be a blessing in disguise. One of those "someone should really tell her about her hairstyle" situations. I'd say her saying something to your face is better than talking about it behind your back.
  • CurliLocksCurliLocks Posts: 10,571Registered Users
    krispy wrote:
    Thanks everyone for sharing your opinions, you've made me feel better.
    Maybe I'll try a headband or barettes or something easy like that, but straightening...I don't think so.
    Thanks again, this site and its members are the BEST !!!! :love1:
    Good for you! I agree with the headband or barrettes, maybe try switching the part or wearing it in a ponytail every now and then.
    SF Bay Area, CA * "The Angel-Goddess-Guru of Haircoloring" :D
    3b/c/a mix. medium texture, low porosity
    My Motto: Strand Test! some hair pics
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] -- gone, but never forgotten.
  • laurabeth33laurabeth33 Posts: 1,443Registered Users
    Doodles wrote:
    jeamaria wrote:
    The fact that she could only manage to suggest straightening it as a styling option shows she doesn't have much sense of style herself. Or she is just a one dimensionally-minded curl hater.

    Whatever her problem is, unless I *really* was thinking of changing things up before she opened her mouth, I'd make a point of wearing it exactly how it is now when at work.

    Very good point!

    Ditto! (especially the bold)
    2b w/ some 3a
    product tester geek
  • linda_mlinda_m Posts: 211Registered Users
    My favorite response to a comment like that is an amused expression and a simple "Wow". Then walk away, or change the subject, if you can't escape.
    Couple of inches past shoulder length 3A. Shampoo every 3rd or 4th day w/ baby shampoo; Tigi Fashionista conditioner; back to Condition 3-in-1 mousse . Alternate days water rinse, conditioner and mousse.
  • ~GypsyCurls~~GypsyCurls~ Posts: 351Registered Users
    I'm sorry that they hurt your feelings! IMO, you should not let them dictate what looks good on you. Some people just feel the need to change things (hair, clothes, makeup etc.) once in a while due to trends, or due to them beiing bored with it. If you like your hair the way it is, and it looks good, don't change!

    I have had pretty much the same style for YEARS, and I just don't like my hair any other style. Just like me dying it red...It's just how I see myself, and I think hair should fit your personality.

    If you want to change it, feel free, but never change yourself for someone else. In the end, it'll just make you unhappy.
    2c/3a/3b curls, tailbone length, fairy tale ends
    Cleansers: V05 Co
    Conditioners: KMS Everyday, Dove Dry Oil Care

    DT/Treats:Aphogee Protein Treat/Hemp/Argan Oil
    Leave-ins/Stylers: All HE Condish, Generic PM The Conditioner






  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Posts: 6,252Registered Users
    You should say "Well you need a new face, I'm tired of looking at it". Or tell her she's been wearing the same perfume for 6 years and it's time for a change.
  • StruttsWifeStruttsWife Posts: 819Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I would have looked her right in the face and calmly said, "What on earth would ever possess you to say something so rude?" And then watch her back-pedal and try to dig herself out of the hole she was in. Anyone that ignorant deserves to be called out and put on the spot.
    - Tiffany
    Hair Stylist and Curly Hair Specialist - St. Petersburg, FL (Tampa Bay)

    Blog: Live Curly, Live Free
    Facebook fan page: Live Curly Live Free

    Sulfate- and non-water soluble silicone-free since 04/22/2002
    3B, brunette: medium texture, low porosity, high density

  • alacurlalacurl Posts: 1,193Registered Users
    ECCurly wrote:
    Ouch!! That's so rude! I don't understand where people get off saying things about other people like that. I, never in a million years, could bring myself to say something like that. If you want a change for you, then maybe try a headband or barrettes, but I wouldn't straighten or change it because of them. If you're happy with your hair, then that's all that matters.

    I completely agree! If YOU feel like a change, then sure, go for it. But don't mess with a good thing because of a rude comment. If you like the way your hair looks, then you should wear it the way you like!!

    TOTALLY AGREE with these ladies! Only person who matters is YOU.
    shoulder-length 3a/b, depending on weather and products (or lack of products!)