More compliments when you straighten your hair?

purdycurlypurdycurly Posts: 51Registered Users
I've noticed something, not just from my own experiences but from other peoples stories. But heres mine:

Before I attended a going away event for one of our teachers that has been with us almost since the school was built, I did a deep condition/rinse and then blowdry and straighten. When I got there, I had stares coming from each and every direction and a 8 truckloads of compliments. Though from them they were all compliments, all I was hearing was insults. "You look awesome like that!" to the "You should do that WAAY more often." and loads of "Wow, it's not frizzy or messy or poofy or anything!!" Anyway, when people FINALLY got through torturing me with there backwards insults, I tied my hair back into a bun and left with my mom.

"Hey Anna, you looked really cool tonight. I don't know why you dont do it more all the time because it looks a little better than usual, not to be rude though. Also, I hope you're not offended by this but sometimes I think the other boys talk about you behind your back because I hear things all the time. I'll go with you to our next dance if you can't find a date." Yes, this was a boy saying this. And I have a feeling some girl who hates me payed him to say it.

Has anyone else had this happen to them, and how can people be so upfront with their obvious backwords insults.
Too curly for you!

I'm a 3a/3b
Dark dark dark dark black hair
Just below shoulders and growing it out!!
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Comments

  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Posts: 6,252Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Because they have no class, and they are idiots. See if it were me I probably would have gone in the bathroom, re-wet my hair and then said "Take that biotches!" But that's just me, lol!
  • CurlyVeeCurlyVee Posts: 340Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I think like anything else people like change...oddly enough whenever I go straight one particular co-worker of mine always tell me" you blowed your personality out of your hair" hehehehe

    But I know what you are saying ..." OMG you should do this everyday" "you look so much more refined" ya right I wanna say "Like your ignorant comment" hehehe <brush shoulder off>

    :afro:
    Hyper Sensitive to many things !!!
    2017 Routine: Trader Joe's Nourish Spa Cond as co-wash; 365 Fragrance Free Shampoo; Aloe Vera Juice , Water and Apricot Seed Oil as leave in. :blob3:When all else fails, I run back to KCKT and KCCC :thumright: Shampoo weekly - co-wash every 2/3/4 days - just depends :compress:
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    My hair was so fryed from too much dyeing and relaxing and too much heat from curling/straightening iron that it didn't look good curly (broken/split ends and frazzled curls). It looked healthier and better when I used a flat iron and good Chi products so I always got compliments when I straightened it but none when it was curly. Well, I'm on the 2nd day of having cut off the rest of the relaxed/worse damaged ends and I'm getting compliments left and right and my hair is curlier than it's been in a couple of years.

    Speckla
  • curly-allegracurly-allegra Posts: 8Registered Users
    a lot of people compliment my curly hair, and i love my hair and wouldnt change it - but sometimes when i straighten my hair, i go to school (high school) and people who dont ususally comment on my hair will just be over the moon :toothy7:about how nice my hair is straight... and even guys will say something too.. once this guy i thought didnt even likee me came up and was just stuttering saying: "uhhh ohh yeah you look really,.. ummm greatt yeahh"

    i cant believe it... but anyways - i rather have someone love my curly hair more because thats who i am, and what i have...
    :love10: allegra :laughing6:
  • tika curltika curl Posts: 13Registered Users
    I get a split decision at my work. Generally men like the straight hair and women like the curly hair. The women I work with are low-maintenance though. I think that women out and about (at the mall, out at night) like the straight hair more on me.

    I'm thinking that the women at work (who are very nice people) are more sensitive to backhanded compliments and don't want to do that to me, probably also realizing that the curly/wavy hair is more representative of me.
  • hunnybeemayhunnybeemay Posts: 75Registered Users
    I get more compliements in general when I go curly. I used to straighten all the time, then a few times I went curly and compliments came out of the woodwork, though they were mostly from more middle-aged women and not younger women. I think they don't have the same straight-hair hang-ups. I recently let my stylist straighten my hair just for fun and I got absolutely no coments except from my hubs who said he liked it better wavy! Go fig. I stick with the curls now!:icescream:
  • a curly qa curly q Posts: 248Registered Users
    purdycurly i get the same thing and generally it does annoy me. guys in particular. but when it come from girls, it's usually the ones who are insecure about their own hair.
    2b, medium, lots of them
    CG: 21 Apr 08, Mod CG: 24 Aug 08
    My blog: Can't Stop Thinking About Hair
  • squirrelycurlygirlysquirrelycurlygirly Posts: 17Registered Users
    Well those guys, they're men, they can't help thereselves, so phoeey on them. I understand completely though, because people always say to me "you'd be so pretty if only..." and it stinks, do they think I WANT to hear this? Do they think maybe noone else had ever said it to me before?
  • JournalistJournalist Posts: 366Registered Users
    Granted I hadn't gone CG yet, but I was at my cousin's house, and walked out of the bathroom (after straightening), and her first comment was- "Oh my gosh. You look HOT!" Honestly, I liked it too. BUT after I went CG, I started getting so many compliments, "Oh wow- what are you doing to your hair?! I love it!" I think a large part of what people attach you to in their minds is your hair. When you do something out of the norm, or different, people always are taken back. I also think that people look at curly hair as something for formal occasions, or when you don't really care or something. Straight hair almost shows that you have "control". I mean, think of straight hair. Sleek, (generally) shiny, smooth; now think of curly hair. Bouncy, curled (no duh) twisted, wild, "free". Especially in corporate America, people tend to go more for business casual, in control, not too wild thoughts and appearances. I read a book about a girl who worked in a magazine, who always was having her hair blown out for important events. She didn't care for it much.:sad8:
    3a/b
    Protein sensitive
    med/low porosity/med texture
    Baking Soda/Vinegar rinses
    Suave Ocean Breeze
    HE TT Gel
    CG since April 12th '08! (No shampoo whatsoever!)
    Fotki
    I have more pictures up! :)
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  • a.l.i.c.e.a.l.i.c.e. Posts: 673Registered Users
    I think people have short attention spans and feel the need to comment when something is different. I used to wear my hair straight every day with few comments (except from some people who loved the color and thickness of my hair). Back then, when it was almost always straight, I ALWAYS got complimented (by male and female friends equally) when I wore it curly. Now, I haven't straightened in over a month, and I'd be willing to wager that I would get comments if I straightened. People are fickle like that :laughing7:
    botticelli-ish bob.

    Current Routine:
    -Suave Aloe & Waterlily cowash/leave-in
    -Giovanni Direct Leave-In
    -FOTE aloe vera gel
  • laynesavedthedaylaynesavedtheday Posts: 239Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    my friend dared me to straighten my hair a couple a weeks ago and i totally hated it.

    i got tons of compliments, but from the same people who complimented my naturally wavy and roller-induced spiral curls. they just like change since their hair is the same everyday.
  • RawrSallyRawrSally Posts: 1,388Registered Users
    I get compliments both ways.
    I think people just like how shiny and smooth my hair looks when straightened.
    But I think I honestly get more when it's natural.
    Like the other week, when school was still in session, I got up to assist in presenting something and out of nowhere this girl said, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just love your hair when it's curly, it's so pretty, I wish mine would do that."
    I really appreciated it, it proved to me that it was good that I was staying natural. Still embarassed the mess out of me though.
    I'm shy and don't take compliments as well as I should.
  • ZigaZagaZigaZaga Posts: 473Registered Users
    The last time my hair got straightened I did get compliments. I think they were noting the change (and like it too) more than anything. I said "take a good look at it because it will probably be the last time you ever see my hair straight!" I do get a lot of compliments on my curly hair. All the time. :) So many think I am lucky. So many do straighten their hair here. Wearing mine curly certainly makes me different or stand out from the next "joe". :)
    -3A?
    -Fine, ii (almost iii) thickness
    -salon pintura and natural sun-made highlights combo
    -CG since October 2007, rare occasional low poo.
    -Growing it out
    click here for fotki pics
    -pw: ziggy
  • notegalnotegal Posts: 560Registered Users
    I get compliments either way, however I prefer the quickness of having curly hair over straight. It takes me about 45 minutes to get it straight, while 10-15 to make it curly. I think I'll take the 10-15...:tongue5:...that means more sleep time for me! :)
    "The world is a fine place and worth fighting for."
    Ernest Hemingway


    CG since June 15th, 2008:dog::love5::elephant:
    3b very thick hair with very kinky (possibly 3c) curls underneath
    Went Deva Care line beginning
    September 23, 2009
    Update: 10/12/2009 I can't stop playing with my curls!! So soft, shiny and manageable!!!! IN LOVE WITH DEVA Products!!!!!! YIPPPIE!!!!:wav:




  • cloverclover Posts: 16Registered Users
    My daugher usually wears her hair in buns during the winter-time. Her hair is naturally curly & thick so it shrinks up considerably. She had an event at school and asked me to flat-iron it for her. When she got home the next day she had stories that left me like this :shock:.
    One of my daughter's female classmates kept eyeing her hair. The girl actually told my daughter that her hair was a weave because according to her, "How can your hair be to your neck one week and down to your booty the next?" My daughter's reaction was this :roll:. She told the girl that "My mom takes really good care of my hair". There was more to the convo but my daughter had to defend herself against this girls accusations.
    One of her danceline team-mates actually came up to her and had the nerve to feel up in her head checking for weave tracks. Aye!
    Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  • VerityVerity Posts: 616Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    During the winter, my hair had grown out a bit, and with the products I was using on it (yes, with the dreaded cones), it looked almost straight. For the first time in years, men actually noticed me.

    Now it's summer, my hair is wavy again, and I'm ignored.

    It's hard to buck the trends when straight hair is considered pretty and sexy and curly is considered, by most people, to be "messy" and "frizzy," even when it's healthy. If I were younger, single, and trying to get men to notice me, I'd be straightening my hair.
  • erikaxelectrik7erikaxelectrik7 Posts: 90Registered Users
    Whenever I flat iron my hair, I get more compliments from people my age(14-16)..it's mostly stuff like "I like it better like that..." and "Now it's not all messy and you look like you have alot LESS hair..."(not sure if the less hair thing is good or not..lol)..I've even had guys come up at school and say things like "I like you're hair like this better....alot of guys think you're retarded or something because of the way your hair is...." O.O..W...T...F?
    When I wear it curly, it's mostly older family members(parents, grandparents, aunts) that I get more compliments from.
  • Ephesians2:8Ephesians2:8 Posts: 170Registered Users
    That happens to me all the time too! One time I was walking down the street and some kid from my class was walking the other way and i looked up and waved and he was like "Oh! I like your hair straight, I didn't even recognize you!" I smiled and said thanks, but was thinking "Thank you? Was that really a compliment?" Ugh. My future husband is going to LOVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEe my curly hair. Whoeever he is.
    3a. My hair does what it wants.. currently waiting for BKT treatment to go away.

    “What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?” - Mark 8:36
  • the23rdelfthe23rdelf Posts: 37Registered Users
    I get that all the time, although I rarely straighten it "fully" anymore ... occasionally i just get a bad "front part of the hair" day and I blow out my bangs then run the straightener thru it... it's straight with some bend or wave. Everyone at work goes NUTS... "oh it looks great, etc etc etc." Give it up people! I'm a CurlyHead for crying out loud! I just try to remember the days when I get "if my hair looked as nice curly as yours does, I would wear it like that all the time!" Makes me smile (then I point them to nc.com!)
    elf
    3a/3b Product Junkie, Mom of 2
  • LadyHesseLadyHesse Posts: 16Registered Users
    Back in high school, I used to straighten my hair every once a month or so and no one ever said anything other than "woah, your hair is straight!"
    My husband has since told me that he never thought it looked very good that way... it was unhealthy since I had to FRY my hair to get it straight.

    Now (with shorter, much better-condition hair) I might straighten it once or twice a YEAR... and folks will tell me it looks nice, but never that it looks better. I think many people I come in contact with realize that A) it took a lot of work to straighten it, so they should compliment it but B) everyone has straight hair!
  • greengirlgreengirl Posts: 37Registered Users
    Interesting. My comments tend to depend on the persons background. I get way more compliments on curly hair from white women. Black women that know me ask me why would I wear my hair curly when I do. That being said most people perceive me to be Indian or Mixed with Indian (as in from India not Native American) because of how genetics played out for me, so generally I don't get comments on wearing my hair straight since people assume it is naturally. Some people have even asked me if my 3b curls were a perm!?! Mostly people seem to really like my hair curly, with the exception being AA woman. As for men, they just seem to like long hair. Whenever I get frustrated with my hair and cut it, it never seems to go over well with men. When its long, the love it.
    Yummy 3b w/some 3a & 3c here and there!


    Giovanni 50/50 Shampoo (2x a month), Giovanni 50/50 Conditioner (only after a poo), Suave Naturals Tropical Coconut (for co-washes), Aubrey Organics Island Naturals, Giovanni Direct Leave-In, Biotera Gel, Biolage Gel
  • FeedYourHeadFeedYourHead Posts: 248Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I've gotten more compliments in the five years or so since I started a modified CG routine, than I ever did when I blow-dried my hair straight!

    (But then, when I was blow-drying it straight, I wore my hair very short--about 3" at the crown, shorter at the back and sides.)

    When I was working in a corporate job and transitioning into the modified CG routine, I did get more compliments from co-workers when I tied my hair back or wore it up.
    Name: FeedYourHead's Hair

    Description: 3A/3B/2C in the back, Botticelli, medium, thick, low porosity, modified CG since 2008

    Likes: Shea Moisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil sulfate-free shampoo; Curls Coconut Curlada conditioner; KCKT; LA Looks Extreme Sport Gel; coconut oil; honey; banana hair masks
    Dislikes: Silicones (:thumbdown:), Hairbrushes (:eek:) and harsh detergents (:protest:)
  • angela3213angela3213 Posts: 74Registered Users
    Someone I know tells me almost every other day that she likes my hair better straight. Basically she's telling me she doesn't like my hair curly. When I wear it curly it isn't frizzy or messy or anything, thanks to kinky curly. So it isn't that it looks bad when it's curly. It kind of makes me want to wear my hair curly more often.
    About once a week - Condition with Curls Milkshake. Comb in Kinky Curly Leave In Conditioner & Kinky Curly Curling Custard after squeezing most of the water out of my hair. Use table top dryer for 10 minutes. Use diffuser for 10 minutes.
    Daily - Lightly wet hair. Comb in a little Kinky Curly Curling Custard if needed. Use table top dryer for a few minutes or let air dry.
    Shampoo - Only before straightening.
  • SapphireMoonSapphireMoon Posts: 123Registered Users
    I used to have dreadlocks and when I first brushed them out (yes, you actually can brush out dreads) I would straighten my hair and everybody (even people I had never talked to before) came up to me and said how nice my hair was and how beautiful I looked now... that was kind of a slap in the face...
    Then, after 2 weeks of straightening it all the time, I decided I would try letting it go curly. Well, at school everybody went crazy over it. They told me how amazing it was curly and how I should always wear it like that. I still get people coming up to me and wanting to touch my hair or saying how jealous they are of it. A few of my friends even made me promise not to staighten it anymore because it looked bad straight :S So for me its kind of the opposite.

    I understand that hidden insult thing though. I was so insulted by all the comments I got after I took my dreads out. People said all kinds of weird things about how I looked "very nice" now..
    -2c/3a

    "For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day." -Audrey Hepburn

    Fotki updated January 9 2009
    http://public.fotki.com/Sapphire-Moon/
    pswd: curls
  • dzlovedzlove Posts: 38Registered Users
    i think people are just attracted to change. up until about 6 and a half weeks ago, i was straightening my hair everyday and had been for several years. as soon as i stopped straightening, i got all sorts of compliments on how awesome my hair looks and how it makes me look so much older and is a much more fun style for me and everything. but here is another thing i have noticed-when i wore my hair straight, i never had people i didn't know telling me how pretty my hair was, but that does happen with curls. :)
    my grow out challenge blog: http://growoutchallenge.blogspot.com :blob7:
  • alicurlsalicurls Posts: 16Registered Users
    The thing I find funny is that most people who compliment me when I straighten my hair is that they have straight hair with absolutely NO curl. Most girls with pin-straight hair have no option to wear it as curly as we can...therefore, I call it curl-envy. You always want what you can't have, but in this case I think it's that we have more options and they only have one: straight. How boring.
  • mddermmdderm Posts: 61Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    My sister has beautiful thick wavy/curly hair and ALWAYS straightens it and I can never get her to wear it curly. She says that guys like straight hair better... however she always tells me how much she loves my hair. My dad doesn't like my curly hair - he thinks by putting products in it that I intentionally make it curlier than it is, yea...um okay dad. My mom and grandma like it. I love my hair curly but I used to straighten it all the time in university because I thought thats what people liked. This one boy would notice my hair and would say "Wear it natural, I hate it when girls try to straighten their natural hair, it doesn't look good". When I wore it curly for the first time in uni I got compliments from all my girl friends but my boyfriend at the time pulled me aside at the end of the day and flat out told me he hated it, he said please don't ever wear it like that. I was shocked but didn't really care at the time as it really just confirmed what I thought guys liked better (btw his hair was curly too). One time I went out for a dinner and wore my hair curly, my sister's ex said he loves curly hair and he says it looks much better this way. Then some guy who had a crush on me (obviously when my hair was straight) said to me "eh shar what the hell happened to your hair, you look like a clown!"...I went to the bathroom and tied my hair up soon after that, I was so embarrased. My current boyfriend is still getting used to the fact that I have curly hair, and he likes straight hair because its a lot less complicated. Some guys just don't get curly hair, it just scares them, I truly think my bf gets confused when he sees it and just doesn't get it and it just shocks him for some reason. Today I wore my hair curly and it looked beautiful because it was completely frizz-free and the curls were bouncy and beautiful (I have a new styling technique). I felt really good about it. However this was not long lasted as my bf comes over and puts his hands in my hair and is like "ahhh my hand is stuck!" and he grabs it and puts it on top of my head, like he doesn't like it. It really really hurts my feelings because I know I deserve someone who likes curly hair. I envy all you girls who have accepting bfs. So as you can see its been very mixed reactions for me. My goal is to have my hair a little past my boobs when its curly, I can't wait till its there!
  • xcptnlxcptnl Posts: 15,678Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Yep. I straightened this weekend and my SO's mom gushed over it. I think in her case it is that she thinks curly hair is messy! She has done this everytime I have straightened which has been 2 times in the 8 years I have known her. I tell her - don't get used to it - it takes 2 freaking hours to do and there is no way I am doing that daily! It annoys me.
    Central Massachusetts

    One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. ~George Carlin~

    In regards to Vagazzling: They just want to get into the goods without worrying about getting scratched up by fake crystals. ~spring1onu~
  • dorie92dorie92 Posts: 8Registered Users
    I get a mix of compliments and/or shocked expessions from my friends when my hair is curly, but I get compliments from guys when my hair is long and straight so that makes it hard for me to wear it curly, but I try, I've been curly most of this summer, but I've had a few times when I had to go back to straight, especially when my crush complimented me on my straight hair, that made it so hard to go back!! But I did and I am still curly at the momemt and feeling quite gorgeous might I add:tongue3: lol, with or without compliments.
  • CurlyHairedFarmerCurlyHairedFarmer Posts: 3,079Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    In general, I find I get more compliments when it is straight but I think it is because it's a change. Also, I used to never wear my hair fully down. When I did, I could make the curls look awesome and I would get mad compliments on it.
    Currently Loving:
    Shampoo: Giovanni 50:50

    Conditioners - CJ Strengthening, CJ Beauticurls Argan and Olive Oil, CJ Rehab, CJ Curl Fix

    Leave-in: CJ Smoothing

    Deep Conditioner: CJ Hibiscus and Banana Deep Fix

    Stylers - Tigi Curls Rock Amplifier, AG:Recoil, KCCC, Mop-C Curling Cream, Paul Mitchell Sculpting foam

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