CurlTalk

Hair won't curl - I give up

I'm getting very discouraged and starting to think I don't truly have curly hair. More than one stylist has gotten my hair to curl beautifully using the diffuser, but I can't get it to curl as nicely myself. I'm starting to think that if it takes so much work to make it curly, it's not really my natural state at all. :(

I don't know what I expect anyone to say - I guess I'm wondering if anyone else has been there, and what did you do? I guess I just need to accept what my hair is and isn't.
Mostly 2A; Fine and wavy :batman:
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Comments

  • CurlyinColoradoCurlyinColorado Posts: 3,093Registered Users
    I'm in your corner today, my hair sucks! I fussed with it too much this am, so now it's ick! I'm tempted to shower just so I can start all over and I NEVER do that.

    One thing that always helps me is...when I give up the EXPECTATION of having curly, curly hair and just enjoy my waves that spiral in various areas, I'm happier than when I wish my hair would consistently curl more. Relish in the shine you might have or the body that straighties will never know. Be happy that you might not have a cowlick in the back that looks like a bald spot, stress over it less and it'll respond better (this is very hard to do). Hope some of this helps.

    Hang in there.
    2b/3a.
  • rejoicingcurlygirlrejoicingcurlygirl Posts: 654Registered Users
    Okay, take a deep breath and don't give up. What products have you tried? Both [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/AG-Recoil-p-24.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=ag-hair-cosmetics-recoil-curl-activator]re:coil[/buylink] and JCRR are good curl enhancers for me. Also are you scrunching your products in soaking wet hair? Are you plopping? Tell us your routine and products and maybe we can brainstorm some solutions.
    3A; I have HG products!
    Curl enhancer: Mop-C curl cream
    DT: Deva Heaven in Hair; JC WDT
    Gel: B&A; Arc Angel
    Conditioner: Deva OneC; JC too shea
    Frizz fighters: CK, JCS C&S
    PW: curlynow
  • FuzzyMonsterFuzzyMonster Posts: 259Registered Users
    ...when I give up the EXPECTATION of having curly, curly hair and just enjoy my waves...

    Yes, that's definitely what I need to do!
    Be happy that you might not have a cowlick in the back that looks like a bald spot...

    I do have that cowlick - ha ha! Seriously, thanks for the encouragement!
    Mostly 2A; Fine and wavy :batman:
  • FuzzyMonsterFuzzyMonster Posts: 259Registered Users
    Okay, take a deep breath and don't give up. What products have you tried? Both [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/AG-Recoil-p-24.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=ag-hair-cosmetics-recoil-curl-activator]re:coil[/buylink] and JCRR are good curl enhancers for me. Also are you scrunching your products in soaking wet hair? Are you plopping? Tell us your routine and products and maybe we can brainstorm some solutions.

    Ah, OK (breathing). Here is my routine:

    I cowash daily with V05 VitaBurst conditioner.
    About every 2 days, I add honey to that conditioner.
    Once a week, I wash with V05 Kiwi & Lime conditioner.
    About once a month, I shampoo with [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Jessicurl-Gentle-Lather-Shampoo-p-363.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=jessicurl-gentle-lather-shampoo]Jessicurl Gentle Lather Shampoo[/buylink].

    After rinsing my hair, I turn my head upside down and detangle with my fingers.
    Scrunch it with a microfiber towel.
    Scrunch in Biosilk Rock Hard Gelee.
    Scrunch more with a microfiber towel until it's no longer dripping.
    I diffuse for about 3 minutes and let air dry the rest of the way.
    After about 45 minutes, I turn my head upside down and scrunch.

    Thank you for brainstorming!
    Mostly 2A; Fine and wavy :batman:
  • CurlyinColoradoCurlyinColorado Posts: 3,093Registered Users
    I'm going to be interested in what everyone else has to say, because I think you have a good routine. The only thing I can think of that might be happening is overconditioning. BUT, I could be way off the mark there.
    When was the last time you had a trim? My hair gets freaky if I don't trim it up a bit every 3 or 4 months.
    2b/3a.
  • FuzzyMonsterFuzzyMonster Posts: 259Registered Users
    When was the last time you had a trim?

    My last trim was a month ago (August 16th).
    Mostly 2A; Fine and wavy :batman:
  • RozettaStoneRozettaStone Posts: 695Registered Users
    The only thing I can think of that might be happening is overconditioning.

    Lol! I was gonna say, gee, don't you need to do more conditioning?!
    I don't CO-wash every day, maybe every 2-3 days, but I use much richer stuff on my hair than VO5. I like VO5 COs only for co-washiing -- I don't find them moisturizing at all. I have just wavy hair, and I do wish it were curlier, but I am getting much better wave action and loose spirals, not to mention much more shine & less frizz, by using rich COs, coconut oil, and DTs. I also diffuse most every time, and I find LOOB is helpful for enhancing/clumping. I've tried [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/AG-Recoil-p-24.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=ag-hair-cosmetics-recoil-curl-activator]Re:coil[/buylink] but I'm not sure it's working for me yet.
    2-something? Coarse, medium underneath. Mid-back. On CG since 5/9/07.
    Washing COs: VO5 Blackberry, Suave Cherry
    Detangle and leave-in: Sally's GVP Conditioning Balm -- I found my HG CO!
    Seal with camellia oil
    Leave-in: Aura cherry almond
    Gels: Homemade FSG, Eco-styler
    Plus: SOTC or smooth with camellia oil, JC Nourish & Shine
    Homemade food-based DTs
    RC color
  • CurlyinColoradoCurlyinColorado Posts: 3,093Registered Users
    Waaayy off the mark, yeah Rozetta's here to reply to this thread!
    2b/3a.
  • aaa00aaaa00a Posts: 284Registered Users
    My only suggestion to your routine is to not scrunch with MF towel before you put the gel in. If I scrunched with a towel before putting in gel I would only get slight waves! I can a lot more near curly if I scrunch in gel immediately after rinsing out conditioner...and I do mean immediately. Hope that's of some help! Plus, I'm finding that if I finger comb my hair before scrunching it loosens up the curl (or wave) pattern.
    Wavy, dry, protein sensitive, coarse, highly overly porus, very low elasticity, medium-thick density, very prone to split ends
    Avoids: Sulphates, Silicones, Protein, Mineral oil, Petroleum, Polyquaternium, Sodium/Magnesium, Heat
    Mod-CG since June 2007
  • keikokkeikok Banned Posts: 585Banned Users
    Well have faith in the fact that if you can get your hair to curl at all then you do in fact have curly hair. You just need to find the right products and maybe repair some of the damage.
    Keiko

    my fotki-its a work in progress
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fkeikok%2F" class="Popup
    password:curly
  • FuzzyMonsterFuzzyMonster Posts: 259Registered Users
    Lol! I was gonna say, gee, don't you need to do more conditioning?!
    ... I am getting much better wave action and loose spirals, not to mention much more shine & less frizz, by using rich COs, coconut oil, and DTs.

    Sorry, I don't understand - are you being sarcastic? Do you mean I'm conditioning too much? I thought the CG book says to use conditioner every day. What I mean when I said I cowash every day is that I massage my scalp (if I don't, it gets yukky). Is that what you mean? I'm cowashing too much?

    What are some examples the rich conditioners you recommend? I can't use oils because they weigh my hair down and make it greasy.
    aaa00a wrote:
    My only suggestion to your routine is to not scrunch with MF towel before you put the gel in.

    If you put the gel in before scrunching with the towel, doesn't it pull a lot of the gel out?

    Thanks for brainstorming with me - I appreciate all of your ideas although I'm sure I sound frustrated because I am!!! (Not frustrated with you - but with my hair!)
    Mostly 2A; Fine and wavy :batman:
  • linda_mlinda_m Posts: 211Registered Users
    aaa00a wrote:
    My only suggestion to your routine is to not scrunch with MF towel before you put the gel in. If I scrunched with a towel before putting in gel I would only get slight waves! I can a lot more near curly if I scrunch in gel immediately after rinsing out conditioner...and I do mean immediately. Hope that's of some help! Plus, I'm finding that if I finger comb my hair before scrunching it loosens up the curl (or wave) pattern.

    I agree with this. I'm no expert, but since I started squishing product into soaking wet hair I cannot believe the curls I'm getting. Read more about it in this thread: http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/viewtopic.php?p=1271384&highlight=#1271384. It might be worth a try.
    Couple of inches past shoulder length 3A. Shampoo every 3rd or 4th day w/ baby shampoo; Tigi Fashionista conditioner; back to Condition 3-in-1 mousse . Alternate days water rinse, conditioner and mousse.
  • ECCurlyECCurly Posts: 285Registered Users

    If you put the gel in before scrunching with the towel, doesn't it pull a lot of the gel out?

    Not really. Especially not with BRHG. I scrunch Angell (which has a really light hold) into sopping wet hair and then scrunch with a MF towel and still get plenty of crunch to scrunch out.
    VERY fine 2B/3A hair
    Chin-length - growing it out...again.
  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Posts: 6,252Registered Users
    Y'all put the gel in then scrunch? See I scrunch with a t-shirt first then put gel. My hair turns out pretty curly as it is. I'll have to try it the other way.
  • FearnotsomuchFearnotsomuch Posts: 368Registered Users
    I see that you are detangling with your fingers after you rinse. That could be breaking up your curls. Instead, try combing your condish through, rinse upside and DON'T TOUCH until you scrunch that gel in. You may also want to add a curl enhancing product like [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/AG-Recoil-p-24.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=ag-hair-cosmetics-recoil-curl-activator]re:coil[/buylink] prior to the gel to help.
    In DESPERATE need of a haircut.
  • echokittenechokitten Posts: 1,751Registered Users
    I see that you are detangling with your fingers after you rinse. That could be breaking up your curls. Instead, try combing your condish through, rinse upside and DON'T TOUCH until you scrunch that gel in. You may also want to add a curl enhancing product like [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/AG-Recoil-p-24.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=ag-hair-cosmetics-recoil-curl-activator]re:coil[/buylink] prior to the gel to help.

    ITA with this, the finger detangling was the first thing I noticed as a potential problem. Try this:
    Detangle while hair is loaded with co
    Rinse out co
    Flip upside down, lightly press hair onto scalp to squeeze out some water(like plopping without the towel)
    Try raking in these products at the scalp and squishing it in the ends
    so you don't break up curls
    leave in or curl enhancer (prob both)
    gel over that
    squish out excess water (yes you'll lose some product, but not a lot)
    plop/scrunch
    diffuse as needed --no touching with hands until the gel is set.
    Cincinnati Ohio>>>Coarse protein sensitive 3a, Jessicurl WDT as a leave in, Biotera gel, White Boots, PW= coffeecurls

    "Man tries to exaggerate what nature has given him," Charles Darwin (1809-1882).

    "Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful." -Sophia Loren
  • FuzzyMonsterFuzzyMonster Posts: 259Registered Users
    I believe Rozetta means to suggest that you might try using a more moisturizing conditioner, i.e. [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Jessicurl-Aloeba-Daily-Conditioner-p-104.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=jessicurl-aloeba-daily-conditioner]Aloeba[/buylink], Too Shea, EMBC, in addition to the daily co you're currently doing. She's being sarcastic because I recommended the exact opposite *duh on me

    :oops:

    Oh, I see. Thanks for the clarification! Haha that is funny. :)

    I can't use [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Jessicurl-Aloeba-Daily-Conditioner-p-104.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=jessicurl-aloeba-daily-conditioner]Aloeba[/buylink] or [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Jessicurl-Too-Shea-Extra-Moisturizing-Conditioner-p-105.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=jessicurl-too-shea-extra-moisturizing-conditioner]Too Shea[/buylink] - I tried them and they made my hair a greasy mess. What's EMBC? Or something else that doesn't have oil or protein?
    Mostly 2A; Fine and wavy :batman:
  • FuzzyMonsterFuzzyMonster Posts: 259Registered Users
    Mostly 2A; Fine and wavy :batman:
  • msgibletmsgiblet Posts: 5,825Registered Users
    I know if I co-wash everday - even with a light conditioner like VO5 or Suave -- it's too much for my hair and I'll lose curl. I either just water wash or use a tiny dab of VO5 to scrub my scalp with. Or I'll use a low sulfate poo if needed and then I'll go back to regular co-washing after about 2 days or so. I do use a good moisturizing conditioner as a rinse out every time, though -- I like Mop Top Daily Co - it's moisturizing, but doesn't weigh my hair down. Also, BRHG gives me pretty stringy curls; I don't get much clumping or good curl formation at all when using this gel. It's evidently too strong for my fine hair. I don't know if a very moisturizing leave-in first would help or not -- something I still need to try.
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fmsgiblet%2F" class="Popup - pw: gibber -- Pics Added 7/10/11
    Fine, Thick, Normal Porosity, Normal Elasticity

    Countess Balashi of Divi Beach in the Order of the Curly Crusaders :occasion5:

    If I'm Going To Have A Bad Hair Day, It Might As Well Be In Aruba!

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • TwistedChickTwistedChick Posts: 58Registered Users
    echokitten wrote:

    ITA with this, the finger detangling was the first thing I noticed as a potential problem.

    Me, too. My canopy is the most finicky and if I rake or finger comb when it's wet, it's will be straight and/or stringy. Bye bye, curls!

    2c (Fia) with some 3a in the middle layer
  • 2happy2happy Posts: 5,138Registered Users
    I rinse standing up. Then I flip over and finger through it all like you do. Then I re-rinse for just a few seconds to get it sopping wet again and into a few clumps. Then, as other said, I add product, do maybe a few scrunches with my hand. Then, finish a few more scrunches with my t-shirt.

    Don't give up, just try new things : )
    Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it.....Piss on it and walk away.
    Location - WI
  • FuzzyMonsterFuzzyMonster Posts: 259Registered Users
    I tried finger-combing just at the roots and just scrunching the length. I also squished in gel and scrunched with the mf towel after putting the gel in sopping wet hair.

    My hair was a little curlier (more wavy than curly); however, it was frizzier than usual. Thinking that's because of blotting out part of the gel, today I put in double the amount of gel to see if that helps.

    I also got some Suave Healthy Curls Curl Enhancing Cream (that might not be the exact title - something like that - it's in a green tube). That may have been a mistake because it has dimethiconal in it. Right now I'm desperate!

    Does anyone know if cocobetaine and Cocamidopropyl Betaine are the same thing? My shampoo has Cocamidopropyl Betaine in it, and I read that cocobetaine will remove dimethiconal, so I'm wondering if my shampoo will remove it. That is, if the cream works - I can't tell yet what it's going to do!

    I feel much better. Thanks for the suggestions. Keep them coming - I'm not there yet!!
    Mostly 2A; Fine and wavy :batman:
  • heavengirl410heavengirl410 Posts: 821Registered Users
    Do you use a leave in at all? That always helps me get more spirals. I like GF C&S and P Mitchell The Conditioner.
  • FuzzyMonsterFuzzyMonster Posts: 259Registered Users
    Every time I've used a leave in, it makes my hair frizzy. Do you have suggestions for a good leave in? I've tried [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Jessicurl-Aloeba-Daily-Conditioner-p-104.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=jessicurl-aloeba-daily-conditioner]Aloeba[/buylink], and Suave conditioners (the ones in my sig line).
    Mostly 2A; Fine and wavy :batman:
  • 2happy2happy Posts: 5,138Registered Users
    Every time I've used a leave in, it makes my hair frizzy. Do you have suggestions for a good leave in? I've tried [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Jessicurl-Aloeba-Daily-Conditioner-p-104.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=jessicurl-aloeba-daily-conditioner]Aloeba[/buylink], and Suave conditioners (the ones in my sig line).

    I had this same problem until I started mixing my leave-in WITH my gel in my hand before I distribute it in my hair.

    Leave ins that work for me are GF curl & shine, or .........crap.......can't think of what it is exactly........someone will know, it's the banana hibiscus leave in.

    Fast food (again, can't think of who makes it) also was nice when I had that. But it does have protein.

    Oh, you can also try using a creme styler, mixed with gel, as long as it's a moisturizing one. I use boots, and have used Jessicurl CC, and both worked just as well, if not better than using a leave in. (as far as getting more curls goes).
    Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it.....Piss on it and walk away.
    Location - WI
  • heavengirl410heavengirl410 Posts: 821Registered Users
    I also like the GF C&S leave in, My HG is PM the conditioner, you can get the generic at Sallys, it works the same.
  • Koukla72Koukla72 Posts: 1,680Registered Users
    Edited due to a cyberstalker. Sorry, guys. :(
  • 2happy2happy Posts: 5,138Registered Users
    Koukla72 wrote:
    2happy wrote:
    .........crap.......can't think of what it is exactly........someone will know, it's the banana hibiscus leave in.

    Curl Junkie! :D


    Or, more specifically: Curl Junkie Hibiscus & Banana Honey Creme Leave-In Conditioner. And I think AG makes Fast Food.

    Yes - on both! Thanks.
    Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it.....Piss on it and walk away.
    Location - WI
  • FuzzyMonsterFuzzyMonster Posts: 259Registered Users
    All righty. I've got a lot of things to try, so thanks.

    The creme styler I used today was indeed a mistake. It made my hair frizzy and poofy.

    Many of the products suggested I've already tried and cannot use. Anything with amodimethicone (GF Curl & Shine), oil (any Jessicurl product), or protein simply screws up my hair, and that really limits what I can use. On the other hand, the Boots, Curl Junkie, and PM The Conditioner sound promising - I'm crossing my fingers that they don't have ingredients my hair can't handle. I'm sorry - I don't mean to be negative. I really appreciate all of the ideas; my hair just drives me crazy.

    I'll keep experimenting, and at least the technique of not raking through the whole length of my hair definitely helped.
    Mostly 2A; Fine and wavy :batman:
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