If you cosleep...

PixieCurlPixieCurl Posts: 5,656Registered Users
...how do you do it?

I'm not planning on cosleeping with the baby; ideally, we'd like to have him sleeping in his crib from the beginning. However, I want to be prepared if the need arises. I read The Breastfeeding Book by Dr. Sears and there were all sorts of precautions to take when cosleeping: they recommended having as large a bed as possible (king, we have a queen), having the bed against a wall so the baby can't fall out (ours is in the middle of the room and there's really no way to rearrange), etc.

A lot of people have posted on here that their babies have slept with them, and I'm just wondering what precautions are REALLY necessary. Thanks in advance for any replies.
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Comments

  • shellibeanshellibean Posts: 4,500Registered Users
    We put him down in his crib but then he usually stays in bed after he wakes up @ aroudn 5:00 am to eat. We put him in between us and make sure the covers and pillows are not near his face. I am a really light sleeper, so if anyone is moving, or making odd sounds, I can sense it and wake up. I wake up every time my baby spits up. I can just TELL. My husband is a really heavy sleeper but even he sleeps lightly when the baby is in bed with us. (Talk about instinct).
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  • rainshowerrainshower Posts: 4,420Registered Users
    both our babies slept with us in infancy and our bed was never against the wall. i'm a light sleeper as well. we never rolled over on top of our babies. they never were tangled in sheets or smooshed by pillows.

    my husband is a heavier sleeper than i am. i put a pillow vertically between him and us, with our babies next to the pillow. and i slept on my side or on my stomach facing them.

    never had a problem.

    i think books are fine for giving guidelines and tips, but sometimes they can arm you with so many precautions and worries that you are afraid to try anything with your baby.

    both our babies slept on their tummies because they couldn't comfortably sleep (and neither could we) if they were on their backs. and that wedgy thing didn't work for them. we obviously didn't have a problem with SIDS. sometimes you need put away what the published experts say and go with your gut and your own common sense.

    i'm sure whatever you choose will work out fine. :love1:
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  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    I co sleep sort of. We have a co sleeper next to the bed on my side at the very beginning he often slept in the bed with us. My husband is a 6'4 300lb linebacker of a guy and we have a queen sized bed. The bed was not against the wall, but if the kid happened to roll over (it didn't happen) he would "fall" into the co-sleeper. It was a pain because there was very little room (husband has also taken my body pillow) and I could only sleep on my side in order for all of us to fit.

    For me, it worked out to be the best option because I was moving him back and forth so often for night time feeding that often he would just end up staying in the bed. When he was in a deep enough sleep. I'd just scoot him over to the cosleeper without having to get up.

    Now that he's older, (almost 4 months) He's sleeping through the night and I can still have easy access to him for his morning feed. I plan on keeping him in our room for quite a while because our house will be in remodeling and he won't have a room. It hasn't been too much of an issue.

    As for making whoopie - you just end up taking advantage of the other rooms of the house.
  • DarkAngelDarkAngel Posts: 2,671Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    We didn't co-sleep full time. Just when I needed some extra sleep. We have a queen sized bed that is not against the wall. I was more paranoid about the baby getting stuck between the bed and the wall than just falling out. I slept in the middle because I worried that my husband would squish X. I let X sleep on the outside and I would keep a hand on him to know when he moved. He was so tightly swaddled that he couldn't go anywhere even if he wanted to. I slept really lightly when he was in the bed with us. Sometimes just his breathing would keep me awake.
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  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    I put the baby on my side so his big father can't roll on him. The bed is against the wall, and I make sure JJ lies on his back away from pillows and comforters, or lies on top of me. It feels perfectly safe to me. He also sleeps right beside me in a bassinet, but I bring him to bed for night time feedings and sometimes we fall asleep together, and in the morning when we get up but still want to nap, he is in the bed. As well, if he is fussy and having trouble getting to sleep, I bring him to the bed till he settles down. He is probbaly 50/50 in the bed and in his bassinet beside the bed.
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  • PoPo Posts: 2,607Registered Users
    I just put DJ in the crook of my arm facing me with the blankets only to my waist. I didn't use a pillow (I'm not a big pillow person anyway). When me and my ex were together, he slept in between us, but on his side facing me.
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  • wavezncurlzwavezncurlz Posts: 1,814Registered Users
    I didn't plan to either. But I ended up keeping her in our room so I could nurse and keep my supply up (esp. after I returned to work). Unfortunately, she's still in there (that's a whole 'nother story...)


    In the first 5 months, she was in a big cradle next to our bed. Afterward, we tried to move her into her room but she somehow always ended up in our bed. We were very careful at first to not have pillows and blankets around her but she loved pillows and would intentionally put her head on it before the night was over. She also slept on her tummy much to my dismay. I just always kept a pillow near the end of the bed so she wouldn't roll off and she slept in the crook of my arm most nights.
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  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    i didnt plan to co sleep, but we just started puting her in her basinett. at first i slept with her on my chest, but then i slept with her on the side of the bed, me in the middle and dad on the other side of the bed. i was worried hed roll over on her!

    i think if you co sleep, your mother spidey sense wont let you roll on the baby. no matter how tired i am, i can hear her in her basinett turning her head back and forth. i have super senses when it comes to her.
  • picklesgirlpicklesgirl Posts: 1,955Registered Users
    Quentin starts out in his crib but by the time he wakes up around 4 or so i'm to tired to sit in the chair so I just put him in bed with us and whip out the boob and we lay and nurse once he's back to sleep i move up to the crook of my arm and we sleep unitl it's time to get up around 6:30..
  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    we didn't plan to co-sleep, it just happened. He went to bed in the bassinet, then in the middle of the night feedings I was too lazy to stay awake. Gotta love breastfeeding for that.

    At the time, we only had a few mattresses on the floor, so falling off wasn't a big deal for us, it was against the wall thou. He slept inbetween us, with me on the outside, since hubby got up for work before me. 1 pillow a piece kept high on the bed, above the area he was sleeping. We kept him sleeping near our chest, no heavy blankets above the waist, which it was summer time so we only slept with a sheet anyways, which was light enough that even if he got it over his head he could breathe through it. He was a cuddler so keeping track of him in the night was easy. He was always pressed up against one of us. And the other kept a hand on him the entire time. I know that might sound complicated but it's really not.

    He ended up sleeping most nights in our bed until about 3, we had no problem getting him to sleep in his own bed and room. He still ends up in our bed sometimes. Usually for nightmares or when Korbin won't sleep and is keeping him up all night.

    Korbin spent most his life in his own bed though, that boy never lays still, and loves to sleep sideways, and after a few kicks to the face it got old fast.
  • deezee02deezee02 Posts: 1,509Registered Users
    we had steven in a pack and play in our room and then his BUT there have been many times he has slept in bed with me.

    Personally, i don't trust DH, he is a very very very heavy sleeper, he is 6'4 and we did not have a big enough bed IMO, so many time he would move to the couch to sleep and i would sleep in the bed with Steven, there were times we have all shared, BUT it is not very comfortable.

    When Steven would be having a bad night, or if i ever just felt like sleeping with him (especially in the begining) I would lay down on the bed on my side (side toward the endof the bed) and place in in the crook of my arm on a pillow on his back. It made a little nest for him, and gave my arm some space so it did not fall asleep from the pressure of his head on it. i eventually moved pillow out, but he still likes to have his head elevated. I honestly never really worried about the blankets ot my pillows.

    If you are worried you can buy one of the co sleepers that go in the bed between you and DH, or the "saftey" bars for the sde of the bed.
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  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    Like Deezee, if we coslept in the beginning, it was just DS and I. DH is a thrasher and we only had a double bed. As it turned out DS was fine sleeping in his crib (in our room) from day 1. We really started cosleeping at about 11 months old or so, when I went back to work and couldn't deal with having to get up at night.

    I'd like to cosleep with the new baby, and we have a queen bed now but I'm still not comfortable with DH in the bed. Not sure what I'm going to do but I'm considering evict DH temporarily from the bed.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Technically, having a bassinette in the bedroom with you is still considered co-sleeping. That's what I did. My babies slept in our room with us til they were each around 9-12 months old. I can't stand to sleep with a baby directly in my bed, so my husband would fetch the baby when s/he woke up and after I was done nursing, my husband would put the baby back in his/her bassinette (since I was nursing, baby-fetching was his night-time job rather than actually feeding). Sometimes, though, I'd wake up in the morning to see the baby sleeping on my husband's chest (he's a back sleeper) because he was too sleepy to put the baby back. They slept great that way.
  • curly_keltiecurly_keltie Posts: 791Registered Users
    Technically, having a bassinette in the bedroom with you is still considered co-sleeping. That's what I did.

    RCW - I did not know that! You always have such useful information.

    Having the baby sleep in your room for the first 6 months is one factor that helps reduce the incidence of SIDS.

    I had DS in his basinette/crib beside my bed until he was 10 months old - mostly because we were in a one-bedroom apartment.

    However, DS did spend many nights in bed with me. I found it easier to nurse him on my side while I was recovering from my c-section. DS still had a baby blanket on him and I slept under a sheet (I got sooo hot from bf'ing).

    Now DS has his very own room - and hasn't had a problem sleeping through the night in his new crib.
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  • imagenimagen Posts: 343Registered Users
    I had a whole response typed out then my computer went funky! GGRR!

    To sum it up: First baby we did a mix of cosleeping in our bed and slept in bassinet then later crib in our room till well past 1 year. He slept in the crook of my arm away from heavy sleeper DH and we never had a problem.

    Second baby I have in an arms reach cosleeper and I love it. The only thing I do not like is that I have to scoot up and down the bed to get in and out, but it hasn't bothered me enough to not recommend it. It's the best aspects of all 3 ways I slept with DS wrapped into one way!

    Also, they sell these things:http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2266115&cp=2255984.2256208.2256218&parentPage=family
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  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    DS slept in a cradle next to our bed for about 4-5 months. For the first 2 months or so, I'd put him to sleep in the cradle to start (to get him used to it), then bring him into our bed for the rest of the night once he woke up. When we did that, he slept in the middle between me and DH. I kept the blankets down at about waist level, and we never had problems, except for the fact that I was hyperaware of him and couldn't get a good night's sleep. Then it got to the point where DS was keeping me awake, we were waking him up, and no one was sleeping well. At that point, he went to the cradle full-time, but he was still right next to our bed for ease of nursing.

    When we moved out of our 1-bedroom apartment, DS got a room of his own, and I jumped for joy. He went from waking up 2-3 times at night to 0-1. I believe that for my DS, sleeping in a room with other people was not very restful for the long-term, because we woke him up when he otherwise wouldn't have. I am glad we did it while he was very young, but I think he outgrew it on his own.
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  • CynaminbearCynaminbear Posts: 4,476Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    1st son slept in a crib in our room, but he didn't have his own room, anyway. Many times he'd end up sleeping with us because I'd fall asleep nursing. He stayed in our room until 5 months, when I moved him into the living room and he slept in the pack N play. He then only woke once a night, and I'd nurse him while sitting on the couch. We had a 1 br apartment.
    1st daughter was in a bassinette in our room, but didn't really stay there. She grew too big for it quickly, so she switched to the pack n play. She slept with us the most, up to probably a year old. Even though she was old enough to sleep through the night and not need to eat, she'd still wake every night to nurse (or a bottle) and would scream for 2 hours until. I had to cave because my dad and mom were woken up by her crying and had to work the next day.
    The youngest was in a portable crib next to our bed, and that's all I remember. I was so sleep deprived by then with 3 kids, 3 and under.
    They all slept in between my husband and I. I wasn't worried about either of us rolling over onto the babies. My husband is such a deep sleeper, he never moves! I'm such a light sleeper, even a change in temperature or air pressure wakes me, much less a sound from the baby or my husband moving (rare as it is). When they slept with us, I was always on my side with my arm around the baby. His/her head was lower than the pillows, and I didn't cover us much, especially with 2 of the kids being May babies.
    When they slept in bed with us, they were on their backs, but in their cribs they slept on their tummies. I was hyper vigilant about SIDS because my husband's first sibling died of SIDS at 3 months, the week hubby turned 3.
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  • realisticrealistic Posts: 2,222Registered Users Curl Novice
    DS slept in his bassinet if I wasn't in bed with him. When he slept in bed I put him between us and he was usually on his side or on his back. We kept the sheets/blankets at our waist which was a challenge b/c SO likes to sleep w/the blanket practically up to his ears. We have a queen-sized bed and we never pushed it against the wall. If it was just me sleeping with him I put my body pillow along the far side of the bed, he never came near it. Once he got older we moved so we just put our mattress on the floor until he got his big boy bed. I never intended on co-sleeping (we had a great crib) but it seems to go hand-in-hand w/breastfeeding. Also once DS arrived and I began to sleep w/him I recognized how strong my intuition was and I actually felt safer having him right next to me in bed.
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  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    Technically, having a bassinette in the bedroom with you is still considered co-sleeping. That's what I did. My babies slept in our room with us til they were each around 9-12 months old. I can't stand to sleep with a baby directly in my bed, so my husband would fetch the baby when s/he woke up and after I was done nursing, my husband would put the baby back in his/her bassinette (since I was nursing, baby-fetching was his night-time job rather than actually feeding). Sometimes, though, I'd wake up in the morning to see the baby sleeping on my husband's chest (he's a back sleeper) because he was too sleepy to put the baby back. They slept great that way.

    Isn't it easier to have the bassinet within arms reach on your side of the bed? That's what I do... most of the time my husband sleeps through his feedings, as he has to go to work in the morning.
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Amneris wrote:
    Technically, having a bassinette in the bedroom with you is still considered co-sleeping. That's what I did. My babies slept in our room with us til they were each around 9-12 months old. I can't stand to sleep with a baby directly in my bed, so my husband would fetch the baby when s/he woke up and after I was done nursing, my husband would put the baby back in his/her bassinette (since I was nursing, baby-fetching was his night-time job rather than actually feeding). Sometimes, though, I'd wake up in the morning to see the baby sleeping on my husband's chest (he's a back sleeper) because he was too sleepy to put the baby back. They slept great that way.

    Isn't it easier to have the bassinet within arms reach on your side of the bed? That's what I do... most of the time my husband sleeps through his feedings, as he has to go to work in the morning.


    I'm sure it would have been easier for my husband if I had done all the night feedings without him, but why should I have been the only one missing sleep? Yes, he had to work during the day, but I also had/have responsibilities. He didn't complain about it, and it made him feel very involved to help care for his babies at night. He did the fetching and diaper changes, and I did the lactating. We were a good team.

    Also, three of my kids were delivered by c-sec, and no way could I get out of bed easily to get them or reach over and get them during the first weeks...it hurts a LOT to get up and down from bed during the first weeks after surgery and reaching/lifting a baby out of a side sleeper is just out of the question. I wouldn't have been able to even get in the bed if a bassinette was up against the bed, because of the surgery. By the time I was recovered in 6-8 weeks, my babies were sleeping through the night anyway.

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