Spinoff: Your marital status and your attitude re: cheating

geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
I got the sense from the other thread that it was mostly single people saying "kick him to the curb no matter what" and mostly married people saying "I don't know. It depends"

So I would like to conduct an unscientific survery to test my hypothesis.

Damn - is the poll option disabled?
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
Failed to load the poll.
Failed to load the poll.
«13

Comments

  • GuardianBGuardianB Posts: 1,905Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    The situation would have to determine the action. It is not cut and dry.
    ~Two friends, one soul inspired~ anonymous
  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I am married, and I would LIKE to say that I would kick him to the curb. But without being in that situation, and having a home and a child, I am not sure what I would do.

    When I was single, I said, "If my husband ever cheated on me, I would leave him in a heartbeat..."
    :rambo:
  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    I agree, M2LR. I used tothink the same way.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • curlyincanadacurlyincanada Posts: 34Registered Users
    We have kids. I can't say for sure that I could make him leave.

    I would be more likely to cling to the chance that we could make it work, for the sake of our girls.

    I have a girlfriend whose husband just left her, she was 7 months pregnant at the time and is due next week, first baby. Her husband is acting like an immature ass, basically saying he got married too soon (they had been together for 7 years when they married) and he felt he wasn't ready to be tied down (too young at the age of 31). I am one of the few people who didn't give her the absolute advice to "kick him to the curb", because in her situation I would want the child to have a chance at a stable family life with both parents. It turns out he is continuing to be a royal dick about everything, and reconciliation is looking unlikely, but I think when there are kids involved it is much harder to slam and lock the door.
    Keep an open mind and an open heart. Don't take life too seriously - it doesn't last forever, you know. And may I remind you for the last time, keep your crayons sharp, keep your sticky tape untangled and always put the top back on your markers.
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Posts: 10,904Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Connoisseur
    I have no idea, because I'm not married and don't have kids, but was just wondering. For everyone who's saying they want it to work because of the kids, do you really think it will? I mean if you stay togeather for the sake of the kids, is that really a better situation than Mom and Dad split up but possibly with someone who makes them happy?

    BTW CiC, I LOVE the new picture in your Avatar, she's getting so big :D
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • browneyedgirl27browneyedgirl27 Posts: 10Registered Users
    Here's the deal: If I'm dating a guy who cheats on me, I would definitely end the relationship. However, marriage is different. There's way more of a commitment there and is a lot more complicated to end. I'm not married, never have been, but in my opinion, I would work a lot harder at reconciliation if we're married. Especially if there are children involved.
    3a, brunette, long, medium thickness.
  • mrspoppersmrspoppers Posts: 7,223Registered Users Curl Novice
    My answer depends on the presence or absence of kids. My given my situation today, if I found out tomorrow that my husband was cheated or had cheated, I would leave immediately and there would be no second chance. I do know that for a fact.

    If we had kids, my answer would be different.
    When are women going to face the fact that they don’t know their own bodies as well as men who have heard things?

    Don Langrick
    Bonsai Culturist
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    mrspoppers wrote:
    My answer depends on the presence or absence of kids. My given my situation today, if I found out tomorrow that my husband was cheated or had cheated, I would leave immediately and there would be no second chance. I do know that for a fact.

    If we had kids, my answer would be different.

    exactly.. I weighed in on this on the original thread.
    A year or two of marriage and no kids = kicked to the curb.
    15 years of marriage and 4 kids under 12 = depends.
    There's self respect and there's selfishness - I'd have to ask myself what would hurt my kids more.

    My girlfriend just kicked her husband to the curb for cheating BUT he was working only sporadically, racking up debts and never giving her money for her or their 2 year old daughter, violent, irresponsible, disrespectful, and a chronic marijuana user, and she was sick of being around him. There was little love left and little benefit to her or her daughter to having him around - his cursing and violence and drug use was actually detrimental to the child. The cheating was only the last straw in a laundry list of offences, but it was one that he and people could more readily accept as a deal-breaker.

    However, I know another couple who stayed together after he cheated because there was no way they could maintain 2 residences and keep the kids in private school, sports etc. Years later, they seem no less or more happy than anyone else and he seems to have really changed his ways and has even become a more humble and nice person than he was.

    You never know what is going on in another person's marriage, so I am not going to say either of these couples is right or wrong and the woman does or doesn't respect herself.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


    .png


    534Pm5.png





  • MorenaMorena Posts: 32Registered Users
    Here's the deal: If I'm dating a guy who cheats on me, I would definitely end the relationship. However, marriage is different. There's way more of a commitment there and is a lot more complicated to end. I'm not married, never have been, but in my opinion, I would work a lot harder at reconciliation if we're married. Especially if there are children involved.

    I agree with this. This is what I said in the other thread about cheating too. For me, when your single and dating someone, that is the time you are still getting to know each other and learning to gain trust. You have no obligations to each other because you are not married. They say it takes a least a year to really get to know a person, and for me if within that year a guy is already cheating...that just blows the trust for me, I would break up with him. I mean if we were to get married, would he have cheated on me within a year of our marriage? Just my opinion, I think that the way a person treats you during the whole courting/dating stages gives you a glimpse of how they are going to treat you if you were married to them.

    But in marriage, I understand it's very different. Since that is a true commitment, there's a whole lot of issues involved so I can understand how someone would want to stay if his/her spouse had cheated on them.

    Now if it was a continuous affair and he was not apologetic about it, I still say I would kick his butt to the curb though..lol.
    Hating my 3b/c curls lately...
    Products that I want to try in the future: Ojon Restorative Treatment
  • legendslegends Posts: 3,073Registered Users
    I'm single, and I'd kick him to the curb. There is too much family history of infidelity (not my father(that I know of), but every other man in my family), and I refuse to be like any of my female relatives. Hearing their reasons for staying....I just can't. Also, in my culture, infidelity is seen as just an annoying male habit, like leaving dirty socks on the floor. It's a wife's job to keep her husband in control, as if he's a fucking child. If I hear that a woman who leaves a man "just" for cheating will die single one more time...

    I KNOW that those reasons seem pretty weak. I KNOW that there are men who cheat who truly regret what they did and who won't do it again. But there is always the belief in the back of my mind that in forgiving a man for cheating you are just giving him permission to do it again. I think of one of my uncles, who cheated on his first wife so many times it was a joke. He even slept with her 18 year old NIECE. The wife's reaction? She beat the hell out of the niece and just had an argument with my uncle. And in the end, HE left HER when he got another woman pregnant. It's been this way in every one of his relationships - he is always the one who leaves. And I always think that if he was left at the very beginning of his dating life, he would have been much better for it in later relationships. And this uncle is just one example.
    Eres o te haces?
  • Jenny CJenny C Posts: 1,195Registered Users
    I think we also have to remember that many times cheating is a symptom of a problem, and there are couples who say they grew closer after the affair because it forced them to work on the real problems in their marriage. I'm not saying that there is ever a true justification for cheating, but sometimes that's not the biggest problem a marriage can have.

    As far as staying for kids, I don't know if it's better or not to stay in a bad marriage just for the kids, but I think you at least owe couneling a try to possibly improve the situation if kids are involved. I don't think saying, "Well I'm happier with Jane than you" is a good enough excuse. It's not all about you and what you want when you make a commitment of marriage and have kids.
    If you got nothing to bring to the table - don't even bother sitting down.
  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    I have no idea, because I'm not married and don't have kids, but was just wondering. For everyone who's saying they want it to work because of the kids, do you really think it will? I mean if you stay togeather for the sake of the kids, is that really a better situation than Mom and Dad split up but possibly with someone who makes them happy?

    BTW CiC, I LOVE the new picture in your Avatar, she's getting so big :D
    I would not stay together no matter what, even if I was miserable and he continued to be an ass, just for the sake of the kids. But when there are kids the stakes are much higher. Having a child now, I know I am less inclined to say "screw it, let's end this relationship" and more inclined to at least try to stay together and make it work. And I would think my husband would feel the same way. And I don't mean lets pretend it didn't happen and forgive and forget. With any betrayal of trust, sexual or otherwise, there is a lot of work that needs to be done in order for the relationship to still work. Having kids, I am more willing to put in that work.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    I have no idea, because I'm not married and don't have kids, but was just wondering. For everyone who's saying they want it to work because of the kids, do you really think it will? I mean if you stay togeather for the sake of the kids, is that really a better situation than Mom and Dad split up but possibly with someone who makes them happy?

    BTW CiC, I LOVE the new picture in your Avatar, she's getting so big :D

    Kids almost ALWAYS prefer Mom and Dad together unless there is bad abuse or constant fighting, or unless they are grown enough to see both sides. Being with someone who makes you happy is nice for Mom or Dad but not necessarily for the child. Many people stay together till the kids are in or done collgee, then split and find someone who makes them happy.

    Plus, divorce does affect the child's whole lifestyle. If one parent was staying at home, working from home or part-time, this is probably going to end. The child's schooling and activities may change because of money concerns or having to move. They may end up with joint custody living in two homes, or selling the home they knew.

    I'm not saying people shouldn't get divorced. Sometimes it's necessary. But it is very tough for kids and it can be hard for them to adjust. So it should only be done as a last resort.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


    .png


    534Pm5.png





  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Posts: 5,297Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I don't think that's true. I came from a divorced family, and although it was really hard when my parents split up, it was even harder having them together but fighting all the time. Kids are extremely aware and impressionable. If you're staying together b/c of them, but you're not happy, they're going to pick up on it. Plus, you're giving them a bad example of how a relationship should be. B/c my parents stayed together for a while when it wasn't working out, I had no idea how a stable relationship worked. I went through some horrible relationships, and I put up w/ a lot of bs, b/c I didn't know what a healthy relationship was. If you can't have a loving marriage to build a foundation for your children, I think you're better off not being married at all.
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

    Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,938Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I think we also have to remember that many times cheating is a symptom of a problem, and there are couples who say they grew closer after the affair because it forced them to work on the real problems in their marriage. I'm not saying that there is ever a true justification for cheating, but sometimes that's not the biggest problem a marriage can have.

    I think this is such a weak argument. Even if they decide to get it together and make it work AFTER someone cheats, they could've done that before and just eliminated the whole cheating thing. It pisses me off when I see some "Cheating Saved My Marriage" BS on the cover of magazines. The marriage could've been saved if they'd put in the effort BEFORE the cheating.
  • legendslegends Posts: 3,073Registered Users
    You're absolutely right, babywavy. My parents didn't divorce until I was a senior in highschool. And while they never fought or anything like that, it was obvious that they stayed married for their daughters and because everything was so stable. Considering the rest of my family, that means that I never saw any examples of good, loving marriages while growing up.
    Eres o te haces?
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,938Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I don't think that's true. I came from a divorced family, and although it was really hard when my parents split up, it was even harder having them together but fighting all the time.

    The very first line of Amneris' post was
    Kids almost ALWAYS prefer Mom and Dad together unless there is bad abuse or constant fighting
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Posts: 10,904Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Connoisseur
    geeky wrote:
    And I don't mean lets pretend it didn't happen and forgive and forget. With any betrayal of trust, sexual or otherwise, there is a lot of work that needs to be done in order for the relationship to still work. Having kids, I am more willing to put in that work.

    Gotcha, thats just the impression I was getting from some of the posts. It makes more sense stated that way!
    Kids almost ALWAYS prefer Mom and Dad together unless there is bad abuse or constant fighting, or unless they are grown enough to see both sides. Being with someone who makes you happy is nice for Mom or Dad but not necessarily for the child. Many people stay together till the kids are in or done collgee, then split and find someone who makes them happy.

    I realise kids would prefer to see Mom & Dad stay togeather, but it that whats really healthiest? My Aunt & Uncle got divorced. Not because either had been unfaithful, fighting, anything major really. They just relaised they had fallen out of love and were living more as roomates than lovers. There both now in LTR and both very happy. I think it's better for the kids to see them this way than if they had stayed togeather. You have so many oppurtunities in life to see platonic realtionships work, and very few romantic. What does the child learn when the parents stay togeather in an unhappy marriage and split up onec they've gone to college? I personally think it would be an all around unhealthy situation. But then I have no experience, so just speculating here.
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    babywavy wrote:
    I don't think that's true. I came from a divorced family, and although it was really hard when my parents split up, it was even harder having them together but fighting all the time. Kids are extremely aware and impressionable. If you're staying together b/c of them, but you're not happy, they're going to pick up on it. Plus, you're giving them a bad example of how a relationship should be. B/c my parents stayed together for a while when it wasn't working out, I had no idea how a stable relationship worked. I went through some horrible relationships, and I put up w/ a lot of bs, b/c I didn't know what a healthy relationship was. If you can't have a loving marriage to build a foundation for your children, I think you're better off not being married at all.

    well, fighting all the time is not cool so I understand that.
    But you can stay together and still be respectful to one another and NOT fight all the time.
    And no one is happy all the time. My parents were generally happy together, but they were sometimes homesick for home, sometimes having work trouble or money trouble, and although they didn't talk about it we knew, but by perserverance they made it through and THAT was a great example for us of strength, determination, courage and not giving up.
    Marriages go through slumps. Very few married people are happy all through their marriage. Sometimes working through the down times leads to better times. I think it's important for kids to see this too and not expect this unrealistic western idea of happiness all the time, leaving out responsibility, duty and hard work, which is as important or more so in marriage than happiness. People who get married always expecting to be happy, satisfied or receiving probably will not stay married. And incidentally, it's this attitude that also leads to cheating.
    (I'm not judging your parents - I don't know their situation - this is just a general comment.)
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


    .png


    534Pm5.png





  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,938Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    They just relaised they had fallen out of love and were living more as roomates than lovers.

    I tend to think "they had fallen out of love" is just another way of saying people stop putting in the effort. I'd rather my (non-existant) kids see me continue to put effort into my marriage to stay "in love" than see me give up when if hit a blah period.
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    geeky wrote:
    I have no idea, because I'm not married and don't have kids, but was just wondering. For everyone who's saying they want it to work because of the kids, do you really think it will? I mean if you stay togeather for the sake of the kids, is that really a better situation than Mom and Dad split up but possibly with someone who makes them happy?

    BTW CiC, I LOVE the new picture in your Avatar, she's getting so big :D
    I would not stay together no matter what, even if I was miserable and he continued to be an ass, just for the sake of the kids. But when there are kids the stakes are much higher. Having a child now, I know I am less inclined to say "screw it, let's end this relationship" and more inclined to at least try to stay together and make it work. And I would think my husband would feel the same way. And I don't mean lets pretend it didn't happen and forgive and forget. With any betrayal of trust, sexual or otherwise, there is a lot of work that needs to be done in order for the relationship to still work. Having kids, I am more willing to put in that work.

    Exactly. It blows my mind when I hear of people who are dating and engaged and already in relationship counselling. Why bother? If I'm already at the point of needing counselling before marriage and the REALLY tough times, it's a sign to me to walk away. But with kids I would at least try, IF I was not being abused or grossly mistreated or any other situation where I SHOULD just leave.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


    .png


    534Pm5.png





  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    CGNYC wrote:
    They just relaised they had fallen out of love and were living more as roomates than lovers.

    I tend to think "they had fallen out of love" is just another way of saying people stop putting in the effort. I'd rather my (non-existant) kids see me continue to put effort into my marriage to stay "in love" than see me give up when if hit a blah period.

    I agree with CGNYC. "Just falling out of love" doesn't seem to me a good enough reason to split up an entire family.
    This whole "love" thing is so airy-fairy anyway. You work at love. You make love happen. You can't live your whole life like a first date. Love is your family.

    I come from a more traditional culture so I realize that in the west people are much more tied to gratification, romance etc.
    I take my marriage vows seriously and "falling out of love" is not grounds for an anullment or for breaking the vows in my opinion.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


    .png


    534Pm5.png





  • mayimmayim Posts: 2,301Registered Users
    Given the wide variety of responses, I'm curious to know how people would answer this:

    For you, what would it mean if your partner cheated on you? What would it mean about the relationship and about their regard for you and for your marriage/relationship?

    M
    coarse, thick 3a
    modified cg



    weight.png



  • goldencurlygoldencurly Posts: 2,385Registered Users
    I didn't vote because I don't fit into any of your catagories. I have been seperated for 3+ years and soon will be divorced after 11 years of marriage. I am also engaged to be married.

    My reaction depends on the circumstances. One time or repeated? What else is going on with our relationship? How much time have we invested in the relationship? In my previous marriage, if he had cheated, he would have been history instantly because everything else was rocky too. It would not have been worth my time to forgive him and work on staying together. The man I'm engaged to? He'd have a better shot of being forgiven if it was a one-time thing and he truly wanted a monogamous committed relationship with me after that. Why? Because he treats me so well. I'm not talking $ - I'm talking respect and consideration, etc. If he made one horrible mistake and realized it was a mistake, I would want to save the relationship. But I'm not saying I could.
    ________
    HERBAL BLEND VAPORIZER
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    M2LR wrote:
    I am married, and I would LIKE to say that I would kick him to the curb. But without being in that situation, and having a home and a child, I am not sure what I would do.

    When I was single, I said, "If my husband ever cheated on me, I would leave him in a heartbeat..."

    I agree.
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    mayim wrote:
    Given the wide variety of responses, I'm curious to know how people would answer this:

    For you, what would it mean if your partner cheated on you? What would it mean about the relationship and about their regard for you and for your marriage/relationship?

    M

    again it would so much depend on the circumstances.
    But to me basically cheating on me is:
    -trangressing God's law
    -breaking your marriage vows
    -lying before me, God and a church full of people
    -bringing a stranger into our bed and marriage
    -throwing away all the intimacy, trust and vulnerability I freely gave you
    -putting me in a really awkward, tough position
    -meaning I may never fully trust you again
    -making me feel and look like a fool

    It means the relationship clearly has problems and he is dissatisfied - obviously we need to try to fix our relationship.
    Clearly when this happened, he was not thinking of me, the relationship or the kids if there are any. He was thinking of his own selfish gratification and being very disrespectful of me and us. It is a complete lack of regard for what we have and share. It's very serious.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


    .png


    534Pm5.png





  • Jenny CJenny C Posts: 1,195Registered Users
    CGNYC wrote:
    I think we also have to remember that many times cheating is a symptom of a problem, and there are couples who say they grew closer after the affair because it forced them to work on the real problems in their marriage. I'm not saying that there is ever a true justification for cheating, but sometimes that's not the biggest problem a marriage can have.

    I think this is such a weak argument. Even if they decide to get it together and make it work AFTER someone cheats, they could've done that before and just eliminated the whole cheating thing. It pisses me off when I see some "Cheating Saved My Marriage" BS on the cover of magazines. The marriage could've been saved if they'd put in the effort BEFORE the cheating.

    I agree. I'm not saying that cheating is good or that anyone shoud be advised to cheat so they can save their marriage, that would be crazy. Personally I wouldn't want to have to endure the pain of an affair just to get to the root of my marital problems, but there are people who do say the affair brought them closer. I'm thinking that these are marriages that were so far gone, the affair was the least of their problems.

    ITA with you about the 'we fell out of love' excuse. If you fell in love once you can fall in love again with a little effort.

    I also agree with whoever said they don't get people who are already in counseling and they're just dating. That's way too much work. Sure relationship take work, but it shouldn't be that HARD. The work you do just feel like extra effort, like going through the hassle of finding a sitter so the two you can have a date night.
    If you got nothing to bring to the table - don't even bother sitting down.
  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    mayim wrote:
    Given the wide variety of responses, I'm curious to know how people would answer this:

    For you, what would it mean if your partner cheated on you? What would it mean about the relationship and about their regard for you and for your marriage/relationship?

    M

    There is no one answer. What were the circumstances of the cheating? What was going on in OUR relationship when it happened?
    Of course if my husband was giving me the cold shoulder despite all my efforts, and carrying on with every woman in town it would mean that our marriage did not mean **** to him and I would not hesitate to kick his ass to the curb - but that is only one kind of situation.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • Jenny CJenny C Posts: 1,195Registered Users
    Amneris wrote:
    I come from a more traditional culture so I realize that in the west people are much more tied to gratification, romance etc.
    I take my marriage vows seriously and "falling out of love" is not grounds for an anullment or for breaking the vows in my opinion.

    Me too. My family is old school Italian and divorce just doesn't happen. You live in misery if you have too. I don't think that's the healthiest thing either, but that's how they think. It would be unheard of to get divorced because you fell out of love.
    If you got nothing to bring to the table - don't even bother sitting down.
  • PartyHairPartyHair Posts: 7,713Registered Users
    mayim wrote:
    Given the wide variety of responses, I'm curious to know how people would answer this:

    For you, what would it mean if your partner cheated on you? What would it mean about the relationship and about their regard for you and for your marriage/relationship?

    M

    I think, for most of us married people, the point is that there IS NO ONE ANSWER. It all depends on the circumstances.

    I for one can't even imagine my husband cheating on me. He's too honorable and too honest and cares about us and our marriage too much. So how, in the face of that, could I know what I would do if he did cheat? Would I be devastated? Of course. Would I be angry? Of course. Would I walk out of the marriage? I don't know.
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Rock on with your bad self.

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Be excellent to each other. ~ Abraham Lincoln

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file