pressed hair vs all natural hair

naturalbeauty7naturalbeauty7 Posts: 133Registered Users
I have for awhile been in the process of cutting out all of my color and growing my hair. I have been wearing natural styles. The last time i pressed it was in April and i was suprised at how much it had grown and how much stronger it was and cut out more of the color. From April to last week ago this ago i hadn't pressed my hair again. However, i did this past week. I pressed it and trimmed off more color, not all. Anywhoos it had grown and i looked great. I was back in my home town and i got soooo many compliments the whole week about how gorgeous I am. Then, I come back to my university and people don't recognize me and their like you look so different and ur soo gorgeous(all of spring semester i wore my hair in twists.etc). When i was with my boyfriend he was running his hands through my hair and looking at me like he was mesmerized, girls were like you look soo hott! Girls were saying if only my hair could look like urs. I was just like wow. I have to admit without any conceit that i noticed a difference also. I look completely transformed. In the next couple of days i wash out the press and go back all natural again for a couple or a few months. I know its healthier to use less heat but i just never feel nearly as cute with my hair natural. Maybe its the length and strinkage i dont know. But I just wish i didn't feel this way. Just wanted to know what you ladies have to say.
4A--always searching to better moisturize my hair, keep it healthy, and keep it growing. ~God made curly hair for--simply put--beauty!
http://public.fotki.com/godsnaturalchild7/

Comments

  • CheleighCheleigh Posts: 552Registered Users
    My hair is very similar in texture to yours! :) (side note)

    On topic:
    I think that it's sort of expected that in some ways straight hair feels sexier. More people are conditioned to compliment you if it's shiny and healthy looking, and yes, it's great to your SO to be able to run his hands through your hair from root to tip.

    But as always, confidence comes from the inside. If you don't feel as sexy with your natural hair, you won't project it either.

    Because I haven't straightened my hair since I've been natural, few people have anything to which to compare my hair. I will straighten it eventually, and I'm prepared because I KNOW that my SO, and many other people will go ga-ga over the straight hair, but I can't really let that sway me from wearing my hair natural the vast majority of the time (my preference).

    I do remember what it's like to have straight hair (I was relaxed for over 20 years), and I felt my sexiest when my hair was freshly relaxed and swinging. In much the same way, I feel my sexiest as a natural when my hair is in a big curly fro (slightly stretched shake and go). For me, I realize that I like my hair either long (straightened) or big (natural hair), so when I wear it big, I feel great--sexier than I did with straightend hair even. :) So maybe it's the combination of both the shrinkage and the fact that you can't really "shake" your natural hair that doesn't make you feel as sexy?
    Natural pics: http://picturetrail.com/shelacious
    pw: kinky
    Hair type: Spongy & kinky texture. Coily & curly strands.
  • missmoniemissmonie Posts: 920Registered Users
    naturalbeauty...I know what you mean. It's sad that straight swinging hair has become the standard of beauty. i think the more people wear their hair in it's natural state, others will start to see it as sexy. but it will take some time. in the meantime, you have to find a way to feel sexy with your wash-n-go. maybe with hot earrings, unique makeup and fly outfits.

    i really do miss my silky straight hair sometimes. it's weird....but I guess I'm still overcoming the brainwashing.
    4a: Combo of tight coils and waves; Last relaxer - 11/05 (LC - 4/07) - http://public.fotki.com/missmonie/ - updates as of Mar '09

    Products: Trader Joe's condish * Giovanni Direct Leave in * Fantasia Gel or KCCC for curl definition * Karen's Body Beautiful Hair Cream as moisturizer

    comic-p.jpg
  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Curl Neophyte Posts: 15,402Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I'm sort of like Cheleigh and have very similar hair. To me big hair with texture (curly, coily, kinky) is sexy. When I see it on other women I think they're sexy, so I have no problem with my self image when my hair looks like that. My favorite look is stretched and fluffed 2nd day hair and I can't wait until it grows longer and looks like a cloud to my shoulders. Strangely enough when my hair was straight, I always felt unprotected and vulnerable; probably why I've worn it curly with and without the help of relaxers for so long (20+ years)

    To me women with straight hair have a cookie-cutter look. Had to tell them apart.

    Also, when I see a textured head that's been straightened (not just occasionally, but obviously she wears it that way all the time), I make an assumption about her comfort level with herself. May not be fair, but just saying.
    My blog - http://suburbanbushbabe.wordpress.com/
    My FOTKI - http://whatsnew.fotki.com/suburbanbushbabe/
    comic-p.jpg

    Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
    Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
  • natashamcknatashamck Posts: 434Registered Users
    I understand what you ladies are saying... When I straighten my hair (once every 3 months or so for a trim) I get at least 10x the amount of compliments then from when I wear my hair natural. I think that its not only because my hair is straight and healthy looking, but because its different and professionally done. After a while the reactions (or lack thereof) from other people to your hair might get to you a little bit - but like Cheleigh said - confidence comes from the inside...

    Personally I prefer big textured defined hair over bone straight hair, and I feel my sexiest when my hair is big and well shaped and moisturized... However - for the winter I am considering keeping my hair pressed or in rod sets, because I then wouldn't have to wet my hair everyday. I think it all depends on what you are comfortable with.

    Don't straighten your hair for anyone but yourself... Do what makes you feel beautiful - not what other people think is beautiful :)
    mostly coarse texture, normal porosity... I think?
    HG: Generic Matrix Biolage, KCCC, KCKT, CBSS WSHP
  • naturalbeauty7naturalbeauty7 Posts: 133Registered Users
    thanks ladies for the responses. Its good to know that their are folk that understand where i'm coming from. I was tellling my boyfriend how I felt and he said, "well you can be versatile, you switch your hair up into all kinds of styles and still look beautiful, and most females just where their hair the same way". And i was like, awww. I think that big and poofy long textured hair is beautiful. I just can't wait for my to get longer. I know that i do have to work on my own confidence about it--i guess i'm just have a hard time with that right now. Its like when my hair is pressed i just wake up comb it out and put on some lip gloss and i'm gone. But not so when its natural. I love the hair God gave me though. I just can't give up. --thanks--
    4A--always searching to better moisturize my hair, keep it healthy, and keep it growing. ~God made curly hair for--simply put--beauty!
    http://public.fotki.com/godsnaturalchild7/
  • curlywifecurlywife Posts: 198Registered Users
    Having natural hair is totally different for me. I must say that I get WAAAAYYYY more compliments with my natural hair. I am a 4a. Pressed out my hair is slightly past my shoulders. Sometimes I blow dry my hair and wear it big just like that with my shades and big pretty earrings. I also wear it as a big curly textured air fro (by either doing a twist set or by washing and putting 4 plait it hair and let dry overnight). I get compliments everywhere I go. My sister says that she is so tired of people always talking about my hair. I also get a lot of compliments from white people. Yes. They always tell me that they love it and it is so exotic. When I walk in a room, I know that everyone is going to turn and look and talk about my hair. Seriously. I hope this helps. By the way, I live in Birmingham, Alabama-The Dirty South!!!
    4a-Cute, Coily, Curly Afro When Dry
    DT-Aubrey Organics White Camellia & Yes to Cucumbers
    Moisturizer-Oyin Shea butter & Oyin Burnt Sugar Pomade (my new love)
  • missmoniemissmonie Posts: 920Registered Users
    you know...you probably get so many compliments on the pressed hair because it's "different" and people are so used to seeing you with your natural hair. i bet if you always wore your hair straight and then all of a sudden switched it up and styled it naturally, people would compliment you and be in awe of your natural curls!!

    so don't worry so much about whether or not people are complimenting you. as everyone else says, it all starts with you :-) and i just looked at your pics and your hair is super cute by the way!
    4a: Combo of tight coils and waves; Last relaxer - 11/05 (LC - 4/07) - http://public.fotki.com/missmonie/ - updates as of Mar '09

    Products: Trader Joe's condish * Giovanni Direct Leave in * Fantasia Gel or KCCC for curl definition * Karen's Body Beautiful Hair Cream as moisturizer

    comic-p.jpg
  • mzpoeticmzpoetic Posts: 4Registered Users
    I have for awhile been in the process of cutting out all of my color and growing my hair. I have been wearing natural styles. The last time i pressed it was in April and i was suprised at how much it had grown and how much stronger it was and cut out more of the color. From April to last week ago this ago i hadn't pressed my hair again. However, i did this past week. I pressed it and trimmed off more color, not all. Anywhoos it had grown and i looked great. I was back in my home town and i got soooo many compliments the whole week about how gorgeous I am. Then, I come back to my university and people don't recognize me and their like you look so different and ur soo gorgeous(all of spring semester i wore my hair in twists.etc). When i was with my boyfriend he was running his hands through my hair and looking at me like he was mesmerized, girls were like you look soo hott! Girls were saying if only my hair could look like urs. I was just like wow. I have to admit without any conceit that i noticed a difference also. I look completely transformed. In the next couple of days i wash out the press and go back all natural again for a couple or a few months. I know its healthier to use less heat but i just never feel nearly as cute with my hair natural. Maybe its the length and strinkage i dont know. But I just wish i didn't feel this way. Just wanted to know what you ladies have to say.

    Girl, don't fall for the hype. Don't accept the lye! All hair-wavy, curly, coily, kinky, whatever-is beautiful if it's healthy and growing out of your head. Unfortunately, our society is one that idealizes the long, straight hair beauty type. So it's not surprising that people oohed and ahhed over your straight hair, but it is sad. Different people feel different ways about pressing, but you have to know that heat can be very damaging to the hair, especially, when done frequently. Your hair is already in a weakened state from the color so applying heat doesn't help. I'm not going to tell you not to, b/c girl, it's your hair and you can do w/it what you want, but try not to press very often. B/c if you end up with damaged split ends, then you have to start all over anyway. And that's no fun.

    What you're feeling is normal. We all want to feel beautiful, and we all want to be complimented. And it does make us feel insecure sometimes when people do so selectively, but that is why you have to know how to love and compliment yourself first. Your curls are beautiful. This is the way God made you-in his image. You are perfect and beautiful as you are. And you don't have to straighten your hair to beautiful-you already are. So go on and rock your beautiful natural hair and your twists too. Do you, and don't worry about what other people have to say about it.
    Visit my Fotki! Updated 8/18/07...

    http://www.fotki.com/mzpoetic

    Anything prior to BC: happy2bgoingnappy
    Anything after BC: happy2bnappy
  • naturalbeauty7naturalbeauty7 Posts: 133Registered Users
    thanks-a-million. your replies have really helped, especially you miss poetic. You all are my confidence inspirations.
    4A--always searching to better moisturize my hair, keep it healthy, and keep it growing. ~God made curly hair for--simply put--beauty!
    http://public.fotki.com/godsnaturalchild7/
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    Cheleigh wrote:
    But as always, confidence comes from the inside. If you don't feel as sexy with your natural hair, you won't project it either.

    i totally agree with this statement. but i also think people just like change. back when i relaxed my hair i could still wear it curly (im like a 3b with relaxed hair) and every so often id wear my hair curly and get TONS of compliments. everyone oohed and aahed and told me how pretty my hair was and how i should always wear it curly blah blah blah.
    but when i first went natural and would straighten my hair, id get the exact same response. its died off over time because i dont feel as confident and pretty when my hair is straightened as i do with my curls and i think it shows. rarely do i hear anyone say," why dont you straighten you hair?" anymore.
  • TH28754TH28754 Posts: 28Registered Users
    I know what you mean. I get my hair blowdried straight every 2-3 months for a trim. When it's long and straight I get really prissy. I'm walking and the hair is bouncing with the wind. I get water and the water fountain and I have to flip my hair. It looks so good and I feel so confident....until day 2 or 3. I can't go outside because it's humid. I have to wrap my hair in so many layers just to take a shower. I don't want anyone touching my hair. I can't go to the gym.

    It sucks to maintain that straight look. And guess what else, If I was to relax my hair it would never be that bouncy and sexy. I had my hair relaxed before and it was straight and limp. If I blowdried my hair all of the time, it would be damaged and there would be no bounciness involved.

    Bottom line is I think I get all the compliments because it's new. But I think the me that is carefree, that can go to the gym and swim, stay in shape and have fun with natural hair is more fun and sexy that the me that sits in the house avoiding water and moving too much in order to preserve that straight bouncy hair.
  • jada1111jada1111 Posts: 829Registered Users
    Stories like yours is the reason why I will NEVER be seen with straight hair ever again. People will naturally go crazy and oohhh and ahhhh over how "pretty", "long", and "shiney" it is. It's what they're CONDITIONED to do.

    I don't ever want to hear "You should wear your hair like this more often", because I will feel insulted. Love me as is or don't love me at all.
    Jada1111

    HAIR TYPE: 4a all over/3c around nape/edges; Last relaxer -4/4/02; Big chop - 4/16/03

    http://public.fotki.com/jada1111/
    PW: flower
  • lorrnaelorrnae Posts: 134Registered Users
    subbrock wrote:
    i totally agree with this statement. but i also think people just like change. back when i relaxed my hair i could still wear it curly (im like a 3b with relaxed hair) and every so often id wear my hair curly and get TONS of compliments. everyone oohed and aahed and told me how pretty my hair was and how i should always wear it curly blah blah blah.
    but when i first went natural and would straighten my hair, id get the exact same response. its died off over time because i dont feel as confident and pretty when my hair is straightened as i do with my curls and i think it shows. rarely do i hear anyone say," why dont you straighten you hair?" anymore.

    I know what you mean. Relaxed hair doesn't have that "bounce". It's straight and limp. When its' pressed, then it has the "swish".

    When my hair starys to turn back, I just work with it. I usually braid it so it looks like a afro/twistout.

    Sometimes I get compliments on my nautral hair when I get it done into a cute design. I like wearing my nautral hair. It makes me feel "different", "creative" and "unique".
    4a/Fine Strands/Medium Length/Low Porosity
    http://members.fotki.com/Lorrnae/ (still editing)
    PW:curlygal
    My product routine is currently a work in progress.

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