Adult - Premarital Sex: How long do you wait?

AmbrosiaAmbrosia Posts: 60Registered Users
For those of you who partake (or partook) in premarital sex, how long do you usually date someone before having sex with them?

And if you feel comfortable to offer the following information:
What dictates how you long you wait?
I am wondering if this increases or decreases with your age?

Thanks so much for your responses :D

I am not looking to turn this into a debate on the virtues of premarital sex, I am just seeking some answers to gauge how long most women opt to wait to have sex.
Failed to load the poll.
Failed to load the poll.

Comments

  • hestercurlshestercurls Posts: 31Registered Users
    I haven't had sex with a lot of guys, but historically I don't wait as long as I should to do it the first time. Conversely, the more I like someone and the more I care about them, the longer I want to wait. I think the amount of time I wait is going to get longer as I get older, I'm learning to respect myself and my body a lot more, and I'm just plain growing up and growing out of jumping into bed. HTH
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I don't have a whole lot of self control in this area. That said, I haven't been with that many men. It's just when I do ... I do!
  • three rivers curlythree rivers curly Posts: 994Registered Users
    I'm an old married broad now, but back in the day - I usually put out a little too soon :lol: . Ah well, I have some good memories, and hubby won't ever have to worry about me cheating - been there done that!
    Better everyone think your a fool, than to open your mouth and prove them right.

    Perception is not reality.

    http://public.fotki.com/hmiklos
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    I'm an old married broad now, but back in the day - I usually put out a little too soon :lol: . Ah well, I have some good memories, and hubby won't ever have to worry about me cheating - been there done that!

    LOL! Me too!
  • curlyarcacurlyarca Posts: 8,449Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    it really depends on the situation i guess.

    personally i can't see myself having sex with someone on a first meeting.

    "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

    4a, mbl, low porosity, normal thickness, fine hair.
  • j'adorej'adore Posts: 1,966Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I usually put out a little too soon :lol: .

    :lol: Or so they say. I gave up on the idea of doing it when "they" say I should ages ago! When I feel ready, I go for it, and I don't feel guilty about it.
    "Don't play me...I'm over 30, and I don't smoke weed"
    -Prince

    catcatadr20050914_-8_Marley+is.png
  • PartyHairPartyHair Posts: 7,713Registered Users
    I'm an old married broad now, but back in the day - I usually put out a little too soon :lol: . Ah well, I have some good memories, and hubby won't ever have to worry about me cheating - been there done that!

    Yep!

    I dated one guy for 4 months and we didn't have sex. That was VERY weird. And it was his idea (obviously he wasn't that into me :D ). But other than him, I never made it to a month without going for it.

    And yes, I have some great memories AND my wild oats were sown - been there done that.
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Rock on with your bad self.

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Be excellent to each other. ~ Abraham Lincoln

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
  • bouncebounce Posts: 297Registered Users
    My husband and I started dating in college. The first night we "shacked up" and then were together 24/7 following - every day and every night. So we did the deed about 2 weeks out, but again, we had stayed together for 14 nights in a row so we basically had 14 dates. Not sure how that translates in post-college dating world.

    As for others, it depended on what my intent was with the relationship. Some more, some less. Not very many, but enough to look back and think, "Whew, that was fun. Glad I got it out of my system!"
  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    It depended for me. If I was looking for a relationship I'd wait longer - if it was just fun, not as long.

    I have to say, the poll responses are not quite for me. I consider a month a long time, two months a really long time. I guess I was just a big ole ho! :)
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • hobbithobbit Posts: 18Registered Users
    I think some others factors that play a part of *when* is how much time you spend with the person and whether or not you already know them. For instance my husband and I knew each other for years before we dated and when we did start to date we saw each other many times per week and spent a lot of time talking on the phone (we also worked together and it was fun to send emails to each other that were sort of naughty but not obviously so). I think I still sort of waited for about a month or so but I felt I knew him very well by the time we did it and it was wonderful.

    Other relationships before him things happened sooner and it sucked. A couple of times on college I had casual sex and it was horrible - I can't seem to enjoy sex with someone I don't know well and am surprised others can - I am too self conscious and really can't be aroused unless I know the person and have built up an attraction.
    ***************************************
    3A with a bit of 3B here and there, shoulder length, dark brown
  • MizKerriMizKerri Posts: 1,701Registered Users
    geeky wrote:
    It depended for me. If I was looking for a relationship I'd wait longer - if it was just fun, not as long.

    I have to say, the poll responses are not quite for me. I consider a month a long time, two months a really long time. I guess I was just a big ole ho! :)

    Count me as a big ole ho too! :) I have to say I'm a little stunned at the votes for "more than a year" unless of course it was a person who was saving themselves for marriage or something.
    Location: Southern NH

    If a news story breaks and no one on the Internet comments, did it really happen?
  • PartyHairPartyHair Posts: 7,713Registered Users
    MizKerri wrote:
    geeky wrote:
    It depended for me. If I was looking for a relationship I'd wait longer - if it was just fun, not as long.

    I have to say, the poll responses are not quite for me. I consider a month a long time, two months a really long time. I guess I was just a big ole ho! :)

    Count me as a big ole ho too! :) I have to say I'm a little stunned at the votes for "more than a year" unless of course it was a person who was saving themselves for marriage or something.

    I'm with you guys...but I was actually surprised to see the percentage of "less than 1 month" responses. Most women would die before they'd admit that because, as you know, having sex with a man just for fun or too early in a relationship means you're a complete slut. (That was sarcasm. My vote was for less than 1 month so I can make fun. :D )
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Rock on with your bad self.

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Be excellent to each other. ~ Abraham Lincoln

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
  • curlygirlinvacurlygirlinva Posts: 9Registered Users
    I also wait longer depending on how much I like the guy. However, at this point in my life, I won't have sex with anyone before they get tested. I've actually found that I can't enjoy sex before that's done because I'm too nervous/worried about getting something.
  • Little Miss Snarky BooyahLittle Miss Snarky Booyah Posts: 452Registered Users
    Well, as I have a boyfriend now (first boyfriend! Boyfriend!)...I have no idea what to do about sex. It's a big decision for me. Basically, I know I'm not ready right now, but it might be soon.

    It just gets complicated because I used to be an ultra-religious girl who was waiting until marriage. And now I just don't know.

    This has nothing to do with anything. At all. I'm just confused and typey and coming down off of a 7 Espresso shots high.
    You are an evil biatch, evil. Your life must suck!

    http://booyahlicious.blogspot.com/
  • PartyHairPartyHair Posts: 7,713Registered Users
    Well, as I have a boyfriend now (first boyfriend! Boyfriend!)...

    WOOHOO! Boyfriend! Congratulations! If he breaks your heart I'll come over there and break his face. 'k?
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Rock on with your bad self.

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Be excellent to each other. ~ Abraham Lincoln

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Posts: 10,904Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Connoisseur
    MizKerri wrote:
    geeky wrote:
    I have to say, the poll responses are not quite for me. I consider a month a long time, two months a really long time. I guess I was just a big ole ho! :)

    Count me as a big ole ho too! :)I have to say I'm a little stunned at the votes for "more than a year" unless of course it was a person who was saving themselves for marriage or something.

    Count me in as a slut/ho/whatever as well. I was really surprised at the results too. It seems (at least to me maybe) that there are alot of people who waited more than a year. That just seems like forever to me. An officer who I was with last Christams wanted to wait. After a month I started to wonder if he was gay :?
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Posts: 10,904Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Connoisseur
    Well, as I have a boyfriend now (first boyfriend! Boyfriend!)...I have no idea what to do about sex. It's a big decision for me. Basically, I know I'm not ready right now, but it might be soon.

    Congrats!!! I love new boy butterflies :D

    You'll know when your ready, then they'll be nothing stopping you :wink:
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • ScarletScarlet Posts: 3,125Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    It really depends. I was a virgin until well into my 20s, but now the situation depends on the guy and the connection (so to speak) that we have.
    The first lesson of economics is scarcity: There is never enough of anything to satisfy all those who want it. The first lesson of politics is to disregard the first lesson of economics - Thomas Sowell
  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    We waited a year, but that was for me, personally, to be ready: I wanted to be out of college, not living at home etc.... It had little to do with the relationship.

    If I hadn't ended up marrying my "first", I doubt I would have waited that long with any subsequent guys.


  • NejNej Posts: 2,444Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    The only thing stopping me is I have yet to have a boyfriend. I have had a few opportunities but unless he's actually cares for me and only me (at the time) , I'm not putting myself through that as I get attatched very easily.
    anigif_enhanced-buzz-2027-1364839025-19.gif
  • coilylocscoilylocs Posts: 16Registered Users
    I dont have a hard or fast rule. When I was in my early twenties, I didn't wait at all, on a couple occasions. One of those occasions turned into a 2.5 year relationships. The other occasion didn't turn into anything.

    As I got older, I felt like I'd had my fun, and I was more interested in finding out about a man's character before I found out what he was like in bed. And no, there's no guarantee that waiting will produce a relationship.

    At this point, I'm not interested in having sex with a man who isn't sure what his intentions are with me.(other than sex) That's the situation I'm in right now. It's been almost 4 months, he knows he wants to do the do, but he doesn't know if he wants a relationship. So in this case, I personally don't really have a choice in waiting. But the truth is, I can't 'wait' for much longer, cause at some point I will have to admit he may never want a relationship with me. :?

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file