Self-bashing

How many are guilty of self-bashing?? :blackeye: I know I'm guilty of berating myself or saying my curls are ugly if I'm having a "bad" hair day.
I'm sick and tired of being so hard on myself and want to just accept that I'm a curly girl and that's ok! :love1:

Speckla

Comments

  • !C u r l y!!C u r l y! Registered Users Posts: 16
    I'm a champion self-basher, and it really affects the way I look at myself all together. I use the flat-iron almost every day, and not only does it take long, but it damages my hair aswell! I really want to be a curly girl. Trust me, I'm trying my hardest. I think it's because I have shoulder-length tight curls which bounce around alot, and it frizzes really easily.
    Also, I'm going on a wild-chase for the right products.
    Sometimes having curly hair is such a pain.
    :(

    (PM me if you have any styling/product ideas for 3B hair!)
    Proud to be a 3B curly!
  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Registered Users Posts: 6,252 Curl Neophyte
    Me too, I've been known to be my own worst enemy. Sometimes the most damaging voice to your self-esteem is your own internal dialogue. I admit I've been too hard on myself for my hair, and other aspects of my looks.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    :sad8: Yup! I am guilty as well. This has been my 2nd-worst hair week of the entire summer, and I have been saying out loud :director: how scary my hair looks to my co-workers and even strangers in the hair product aisle. I too am on a quest for the right products....fast! I'm trying to love my curls (think I am a 3A or 3B), but it's not coming easy for me.

    Plus....I've been cleaning house of hair products that did nothing for me, and the newer ones I've been trying have been doing worse....so I'm really :blob8: going nuts here with my hair. I'm glad the week is over so that I don't have to go out in public until I use the flat iron....see, I'm still bashing myself. Someone bonk me on the head. :blackeye:
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    :salute:

    It's just so hard to let the curls grow, ya know? The grow out is so hard because ends are often damaged thru straigteners and color but cutting them off means all length is gone.


    My hair is hardly a :afro: but a girl a work keeps making fun of me and calling me Medusa. My reply is simply saying, "I'm embracing my napp-rocity." "Huh?" was her only reply.

    Speckla
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Wouldn't you really just like to tell her where to go? It totally amazes me how some people are just so bold. Usually they think they are perfect. You should just tell her that if she calls you that again she's not going to HAVE any hair. :cat:
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Another haha was when I mentioned I was letting mine grow back out long and she asked, "Why is it so short if you're letting it grow?" How do you answer something like that without stating how stupid the person sounds?

    Speckla
  • keikokkeikok Banned Banned Users Posts: 585
    Speckla wrote:
    Actually, I feel kinda bad for her 'cause she must really be unhappy with her own hair to keep saying things about mine. I asked her, "How do you get your hair like that?" "Like what?" "So flat." "It's not flat, it's straight." Ya know? Another haha was when I mentioned I was letting mine grow back out long and she asked, "Why is it so short if you're letting it grow?" How do you answer something like that without stating how stupid the person sounds?

    Speckla

    that woman sounds like trash
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    You have to patiently explain, as if to a child, that to let straight OR culy hair grow out and look totally healthy, it is essential for anyone to keep getting their hair trimmed, and that's why yours is short. Then you could suggest that she get a trim as well, because you see a few split ends. She'll probably curl up and blow away! ha ha ha

    I don't feel sorry for people like that because I have found that they know exactly what they are saying. True, she may be unhappy with herself, but that's no excuse for her to try and make someone else feel unhappy.

    Do I hear any DITTOS?
  • keikokkeikok Banned Banned Users Posts: 585
    unpoof wrote:
    You have to patiently explain, as if to a child, that to let straight OR culy hair grow out and look totally healthy, it is essential for anyone to keep getting their hair trimmed, and that's why yours is short. Then you could suggest that she get a trim as well, because you see a few split ends. She'll probably curl up and blow away! ha ha ha

    I don't feel sorry for people like that because I have found that they know exactly what they are saying. True, she may be unhappy with herself, but that's no excuse for her to try and make someone else feel unhappy.

    Do I hear any DITTOS?

    DITTO, trims and haircuts are essential
  • ~GypsyCurls~~GypsyCurls~ Registered Users Posts: 351
    I used to be. I'd try to flat iron my hair even though it never looked right, and I didn't like the way my curly hair looked. That's also in part because I was growing out a shorter cut (I had to get a lot of damaged hair cut off due to a 'hair cutterry accident') and hate my hair short. I realized that straightening it wouldn't help and would only hinder the growing process. Now that my curls are bra strap length with shorter layers in the fornt, I love my hair. Bashing your hair won't do any good, and striaghtening it will only ensure it will be damaged later. it's a viscious cycle.
    2c/3a/3b curls, tailbone length, fairy tale ends
    Cleansers: V05 Co
    Conditioners: KMS Everyday, Dove Dry Oil Care

    DT/Treats:Aphogee Protein Treat/Hemp/Argan Oil
    Leave-ins/Stylers: All HE Condish, Generic PM The Conditioner






  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    I'm bad. :batman:<<<<where is batwoman/catwoman?

    I still self-bash. I'm always saying my hair is scary, even when I am posting. Maybe that is my straight-haired personality having a conflict with my curly-haired personality? :pain10:

    I am patiently awaiting my two personalities to love each other and co-exist. :love3:
  • SalliexxAnnSalliexxAnn Registered Users Posts: 2
    I'm so terrible about my hair! So many people ask me if I like my curly hair (It's about...3C, I thik?) and I used to always say no. But my sisters and my friends keep trying to convince me it's beautiful, and I'm actually starting to believe them. Curly hair suits me much more than straight hair. It's nice to straighten my hair once in a while, just to give people a shock, but I hate it when people say "You should straighten your hair more. It looks better." This one girl I sat next to in my computer class asked me once if I ever straightened my hair and I said occasionally. Then she proceeds to tell me she'd hate to have my hair and that she'd straighten it every single morning if she had it.
    I was like "Who says that?!"
    (Sorry, I babble)
  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Registered Users Posts: 6,252 Curl Neophyte
    but I hate it when people say "You should straighten your hair more. It looks better." This one girl I sat next to in my computer class asked me once if I ever straightened my hair and I said occasionally. Then she proceeds to tell me she'd hate to have my hair and that she'd straighten it every single morning if she had it.
    I was like "Who says that?!"
    (Sorry, I babble)

    That's awful, she's a b.i.t.c.h. putting it lightly! I would have been so tempted to have said something equally rude or ruder back. Ugh, I hate it when people feel like you want their opinion or that they are allowed to say whatever they want at the expense of your feelings, it's crap!

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