Men & depression

happy-girlhappy-girl Posts: 208Registered Users
I think my boyfriend is depressed.
He hasn't said as much but he has been really angry lately and a lot of stressful things have happened to him recently.

Do you equate sudden, irrational anger in men with depression or am I off my rocker. When I'm depressed, I hole up and cry a lot. Is anger the men's version?
Mid-back length 3a, red.
Currently using: Joico, Redken, LA Looks Curl Look gel, BRHG.


  • automaticflowersautomaticflowers Posts: 3,465Registered Users
    I think anger is definitely a part of it... having a much shorter fuse than usual. Dunno if it's just a guy thing, though.

    My boyfriend has some serious moods once in a great while, where he'll lose his temper over any little thing because he's miserable about something else (or nothing at all). I just try to stay out of his way until he snaps out of it, but let him know that if he needs to talk, I'm there.

    I'm sorry you and your guy are having to deal with it. It can be rough. ((hugs))
  • IndianCurlsIndianCurls Posts: 54Registered Users
    My dad was depressed for most of my childhood because he blamed himself for his own father's death. He was always irritable and moody. Depression hurts everyone involved.

    To answer your question, yes, anger is how many men deal with depression. Your boyfriend needs you right now. Let him know he can lean on you for support, and keep reassuring him that everything will be okay.

    Also let him know, however, that you are not his emotional punching bag and you are not going to tolerate his tirades so he needs to control his anger.
    Black, shoulder length 3B

    Law Student at Wayne State University, Class of 2010
  • happy-girlhappy-girl Posts: 208Registered Users
    I don't think I would have ever equated the anger with depression if I had not had a similar experience with my dad years ago.

    I'm trying to be there for him but he doesn't seem to want my support... and not in a nasty way. He's just kind of isolating himself. (Not a talky kind of guy really.) I feel like when I try to talk to him about some of this stuff it just makes him angrier and it's just counter-productive.

    On the other hand, it's really hard to be around him right now anyway because of how nasty his attitude can get. Maybe I should just give him space to sort it out.
    (I just hate trying to ignore it because I feel like I'm emotionally abandoning him.)
    Mid-back length 3a, red.
    Currently using: Joico, Redken, LA Looks Curl Look gel, BRHG.
  • IndianCurlsIndianCurls Posts: 54Registered Users
    Just know that you need to look out for yourself first. If his nasty attitude is bringing you down, spend some time away from him for a while until he figures things out. It will be good for him, but more importantly, it will be good for you.
    Black, shoulder length 3B

    Law Student at Wayne State University, Class of 2010
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Anger, rage and depression are very closely related. Depression is anger turned inward.
  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    It could be. When I had a problem with depression, I did all sorts of things that weren't typical symptoms, for example, many would have considered me the "life of the party" because I was always doing crazy stuff, just simply because I didn't care about the consequences of my actions.

    With guys, they aren't exactly encourage to cry or to talk it out and always under that pressure to "be a man" I could see anger being a possible expression of depression.

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