Dating your doctor

SpiceCurlsSpiceCurls Posts: 501Registered Users
Or another person where you are his patient, customer or paying client.

It's unethical - but would you? why or why not?

~no lectures or over analyzing pls~
I'll tell ya what I want...what I really really want.
«13

Comments

  • JoyForeverJoyForever Posts: 1,628Registered Users
    No.

    The doctor-patient relationship is one in which the power dynamic is extremely unequal. The doctor knows all kinds of intimate details about the patient, while the patient knows practically nothing about the doctor. The doctor pretty much holds the patient's life in his/her hands, while the patient has far less power. Patients may feel indebted to their doctors, who (let's face it) are paid to be caring and attentive.

    Any one of those inequalities has no place in a dating relationship... much less all of them-- and more that I didn't even list. (Additionally, the doctor in question could get in a lot of trouble... adding "guilt" to the long list of issues in the relationship.)
    Previously Joy4ever.
    Changed because the "number in place of a word" thing was bugging my no-longer-14-year-old self.
  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    If I was in a position where I was even considering dating my doctor, it would be time for me to change doctors. I think that's a good idea regardless of what ends up coming out of it.
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • ScarletScarlet Posts: 3,125Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    No. Especially if he thinks I looked like his ex. :?
    The first lesson of economics is scarcity: There is never enough of anything to satisfy all those who want it. The first lesson of politics is to disregard the first lesson of economics - Thomas Sowell
  • SpiceCurlsSpiceCurls Posts: 501Registered Users
    I asked for no lectures...even small ones...thank you
    I'll tell ya what I want...what I really really want.
  • papayahedpapayahed Posts: 1,282Registered Users
    Nope, wouldn't do it.
  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    If I was interested in dating then I would switch doctors. I would not date him while still under his care.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    SpiceCurls wrote:
    I asked for no lectures...even small ones...thank you

    And yet you asked why or why not, which is what you were told. You weren't given "lectures."


    I wouldn't. But I generally have women doctors and I'm straight. I agree wtih Bailey in that if I were in a position where I even considered it, I'd find a new one. There's nothing wrong wtih dating *a* doctor so maybe at that point I would.
    The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
    -Speckla

    But at least the pews never attend yoga!
  • MeghuneyMeghuney Posts: 4,263Registered Users
    SpiceCurls wrote:
    I asked for no lectures...even small ones...thank you

    Did you honestly think people were going to simply say:


    "No."



    LOL!!! Anytime you ask for advice or question something that has anything to do with ethics, please expect a few words on why or why not. That's message boards or elsewhere.
  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    Meghuney wrote:
    LOL!!! Anytime you ask for advice or question something that has anything to do with ethics, please expect a few words on why or why not. That's message boards or elsewhere.

    Especially when your oroginal post says:
    SpiceCurls wrote:
    Or another person where you are his patient, customer or paying client.

    It's unethical - but would you? why or why not?

    ~no lectures or over analyzing pls~

    (I also felt the original post should be saved.)
    The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
    -Speckla

    But at least the pews never attend yoga!
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    yuck

  • iaraiara Posts: 1,199Registered Users
    Definitely not.


    If I found myself attracted to him I would switch doctors (and probably not try to pursue anything with him after I switched). And if a doctor was making moves on me that is unethical and I would switch doctors. There are so many other people I could date……

    ETA: and no to my lawyer, CPA, and the like.
    You cannot invite someone to your house in the Hamptons and when she arrives, not let her stay. Tacky. Very Tacky. ~ East Village hipster.

    People in Ward Three disdain three things: cleavage, hunting and dumb people who are richer than they are. ~ David Brooks

    Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. ~Armaments 2:9-21
  • solangesolange Posts: 2,539Registered Users
    :shock: Eww no!! That's worse than mixing peas and carrots :shock: !!
    3C, BSL Unstretched -
  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    solange wrote:
    :shock: Eww no!! That's worse than mixing peas and carrots :shock: !!

    Are you my dad, masquerading as a woman? :lol:
    The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
    -Speckla

    But at least the pews never attend yoga!
  • MeghuneyMeghuney Posts: 4,263Registered Users
    Scarlet wrote:
    No. Especially if he thinks I looked like his ex. :?
    I just saw this. :lol: :lol: :lol:
  • Aries_jbAries_jb Posts: 1,556Registered Users
    No, and I probably wouldn't keep him as my doctor either. I need a doctor who I can speak openly to, and I wouldn't be able to do that out of fear of looking bad to him.

    I also agree with the poster who said the relationship was unequal. I don't like my relationships to start out that way.
    www.myspace.com/littlemonkey0403
    3B that is no longer CG, but still endeavors to have healthy hair by not using sulfates.
  • solangesolange Posts: 2,539Registered Users
    NetG wrote:
    solange wrote:
    :shock: Eww no!! That's worse than mixing peas and carrots :shock: !!

    Are you my dad, masquerading as a woman? :lol:

    :lol: :lol:
    3C, BSL Unstretched -
  • iris427iris427 Posts: 6,002Registered Users
    Bailey422 wrote:
    If I was in a position where I was even considering dating my doctor, it would be time for me to change doctors. I think that's a good idea regardless of what ends up coming out of it.

    Absolutely! I also agree with others about the power balance being seriously inequal in this situation--not a good foundation for a relationship.

    Spicecurls, if you started seeing him, would you switch doctors (and not just find another doctor in the same practice, but leave that office altogether), or would you continue as his patient as well? I can see where if you see a doctor once for something minor that you could date him once you were no longer in his care, but I can't see dating a doctor that you went to multiple times for something more serious.
    3027585431_55b6195e50_s.jpg3028374752_0df4d81a1b_s.jpg3028422696_8dcef38baa_s.jpg
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  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    iris427 wrote:
    I can see where if you see a doctor once for something minor that you could date him once you were no longer in his care, but I can't see dating a doctor that you went to multiple times for something more serious.

    Yes, that's how I feel . Like Meg said, there's nothing wring with dating *a* doctor, but there is if they're your long-time provider. That would just feel like the ultimate version of him snooping through my medicine cabinets, even if he wasn't trying to do that.
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • MeghuneyMeghuney Posts: 4,263Registered Users
    Bailey422 wrote:
    iris427 wrote:
    I can see where if you see a doctor once for something minor that you could date him once you were no longer in his care, but I can't see dating a doctor that you went to multiple times for something more serious.

    Yes, that's how I feel . Like Meg said, there's nothing wring with dating *a* doctor, but there is if they're your long-time provider. That would just feel like the ultimate version of him snooping through my medicine cabinets, even if he wasn't trying to do that.

    I don't think I said that..but it sounds good..so feel free to say I did. :lol:
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Could the doctor lose his/her medical license over that?

  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Meghuney wrote:
    Bailey422 wrote:
    iris427 wrote:
    I can see where if you see a doctor once for something minor that you could date him once you were no longer in his care, but I can't see dating a doctor that you went to multiple times for something more serious.

    Yes, that's how I feel . Like Meg said, there's nothing wring with dating *a* doctor, but there is if they're your long-time provider. That would just feel like the ultimate version of him snooping through my medicine cabinets, even if he wasn't trying to do that.

    I don't think I said that..but it sounds good..so feel free to say I did. :lol:

    :oops: It was NetG, but your post was right below. Bad Meghuney, confusing me! :wink:
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    Meg taking credit for my words again. :roll:



    (All in good fun! We love each other 'round here!)
    The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
    -Speckla

    But at least the pews never attend yoga!
  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Could the doctor lose his/her medical license over that?

    Yes, absolutely. The correct thing to do from the doctor's side would be to refer the patient to another provider when they develop romantic feelings for the patient.
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,408Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    geeky wrote:
    If I was interested in dating then I would switch doctors. I would not date him while still under his care.

    Same here. I might not switch doctors under certain circumstances(for not so serious stuff - maybe an eye doctor, or if I felt like I'd get better care since I'm dating him, he's a really good doc, etc, really depends on the situation).
  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    No.

    If I were interested, I would do like others have said, find another provider and then persue a relationship.
    :rambo:
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Bailey422 wrote:
    Could the doctor lose his/her medical license over that?

    Yes, absolutely. The correct thing to do from the doctor's side would be to refer the patient to another provider when they develop romantic feelings for the patient.

    I meant to say "couldn't"...as in, duh? LOL How could any professional person be so foolish...and how could any patient/client be so oblivious to the professional's lack of ethics?

  • redheadfullofcurlsredheadfullofcurls Posts: 409Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Bailey422 wrote:
    Could the doctor lose his/her medical license over that?

    Yes, absolutely. The correct thing to do from the doctor's side would be to refer the patient to another provider when they develop romantic feelings for the patient.

    I meant to say "couldn't"...as in, duh? LOL How could any professional person be so foolish...and how could any patient/client be so oblivious to the professional's lack of ethics?

    Exactly.. why would you want to date someone when you already know, from the get go, they are unethical?? Other than this, what else are they unethical about??
    The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
    Oscar Wilde
  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    Exactly.. why would you want to date someone when you already know, from the get go, they are unethical?? Other than this, what else are they unethical about??

    I read my husband's "College of Physicians and Surgeons Newsletter" whenever it comes in and the I kid you not, there will be 2 or more pages of displinary cases against doctors who have had relationships with patients. I doubt that more than a small few of these were "predatory" in the sense of abuse but that the majority of these seemed like a good idea at the time and the patient changed her mind down the road. Either way, its unethical and there are consequences.

    As to why.... most of the time when this happens, the doctor is a psychiatrist. Patients can be vulnerable.
  • IndianCurlsIndianCurls Posts: 54Registered Users
    I would have to say, in a hypothetical situation, I would date my doctor if I really liked him. I don't know if he would date me, though, knowing my medical history. (I don't know if he has an aversion to women like me who suffer from insomnia, heartburn, eczema, dandruff and a dozen other ailments, and if he does, I can't say that I would blame him.)

    And I don't think it's unethical for the doctor to look up your charts to see what kind of weird diseases you had in the past. Come on, if any of us were in that position we would do the same thing.
    Black, shoulder length 3B

    Law Student at Wayne State University, Class of 2010
  • iris427iris427 Posts: 6,002Registered Users
    I would have to say, in a hypothetical situation, I would date my doctor if I really liked him. I don't know if he would date me, though, knowing my medical history. (I don't know if he has an aversion to women like me who suffer from insomnia, heartburn, eczema, dandruff and a dozen other ailments, and if he does, I can't say that I would blame him.)

    And I don't think it's unethical for the doctor to look up your charts to see what kind of weird diseases you had in the past. Come on, if any of us were in that position we would do the same thing.

    It's not unethical for a doctor to look up your charts if you are his patient and he is following medical ethics. It's unethical for him to look up the medical records of someone he is dating.

    Just because "everyone would do it" doesn't mean it's ethical. And, speaking as someone who has worked in a hospital in patient care, no I would not just look at someone else's medical records. It's wrong and I would be very upset if someone did that to me. It's also illegal.
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