encouragement for those who have been bashed

JamieVJamieV Posts: 158Registered Users
I don't really know where to post this (this seemed the best place to post this) but I just wanted to say that most people I know encourage me to wear my hair curly (2c) Most guys I know, my husband, guy friends, my brothers, they all say they think girls are more beautiful with curly hair and they don't understand why so many women want boring straight hair. They say curls are much more interesting. I always get more complements when I don't straighten and I actually feel more feminine and pretty. I used to think it felt glamorous to have straight hair, but thats cuz everywhere I looked, thats all I saw on tv and in movies. Now I am saying goodbye to straightening for good. But as far as females, a lot of my friends say they feel more stylish with straight hair. I actually have always envied the girls with the ringlets. I am stuck in between. It was just easier to straighten. (but I even tried perms to make more curl but it just made more frizz) So anyway, hopefully CG will just make MY natural hair be beautiful the way God gave it to me. I think curls whatever typle are the coolest! (just wish I had more!)
2c thick, heavy waves. Started CG (lo poo) in July '07. before that I straightened it and used hot rollers for years. pw wavy

Comments

  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Hi, I am new to this site as well. Funny how you wish you had a little more curl, and I wish I had a little less! If you don't mind my asking, how do/did you figure out what type of hair you have? I see all these numbers floating around, like 3B, 2A... :?:
  • JamieVJamieV Posts: 158Registered Users
    Hi..Its under the faq's....here is a link http://www.naturallycurly.com/curl411/types.php
    Also in the book Curly Girl, she talks about types (she doesn't assigns numbers and letters though) And you may be more than one type. It seems from reading on here that many people have trouble figuring it out so if you do I am sure some of the more experienced girls on here can help you with knowing what your hair is. :) I am pretty sure I am a 2c cuz I have definite waves and extremely thick hair.
    2c thick, heavy waves. Started CG (lo poo) in July '07. before that I straightened it and used hot rollers for years. pw wavy
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Thanks for the link! Do you know, I think I bought that book a few years ago and never read it? :oops: I have to dig it out and look it over. I must have read some of the book, because the phrase Curly Girl was setting off little lightbulbs in my head :idea: and I was like, where have I heard this before? I have another book, too, on curly hair, because now I remember that there were only two books in the bookstore on the subject...I'll have to see what the titles are. Ah, it's all coming back to me now.

    I'll probably be the first to warrant a new hair type category! :lol: I have thick hair too. Will have to do some research here...

    I just figured out how to find out which forum I posted to you in. Oh well, I may be starting out clueless now, but I'll get the hang of finding my way around here yet. They need a smiley for determination. Talk to you again, I am sure. :)
  • JamieVJamieV Posts: 158Registered Users
    I just started coming on here last week then didn't post till this week and at first it was all so overwhelming but each day I am figuring out something new about how the website works (or for that matter something new about curly hair tips) I think I am on here a little too much though. I can't help but just want to keep reading and reading. I hope you find your Curly Girl book. That was the best 10 bucks I ever spent! :)
    2c thick, heavy waves. Started CG (lo poo) in July '07. before that I straightened it and used hot rollers for years. pw wavy
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Hi again. I'll find the book, it's just a matter of figuring out where to look. If not, I can always pick up another copy during the week. I know what you mean about spending too much time on a website. I'm doing it too. I have so many other things I should be doing (like the wash). But this is fun and informative, and we are supposed to treat ourselves well, so consider it time well spent. I do. :!:
  • jo4481jo4481 Posts: 139Registered Users
    LOL...JamieV, I agree, I am on this site way too much since I've discovered it...my computer was broken yesterday and I was so upset I couldn't check to see if anyone wrote me or that I could read up on more tips. My sister tells me I am being so annoying cause all I keep talking about is everything I'm doing or learning from this site. But I can't help it...plus she's just prob jealous cause she has boring straight hair and can NEVER be one of us...LOL. So now not only am I a product junkie, but I'm also a naturally curly junkie!!!!!!! :P
    I am currently a 2C who wants to be a 3...I'm trying for anything that will make my limp boring waves into bouncy curls...ANYONE PLEASE HELP!!!!

    http://public.fotki.com/JO4481/pix-of-mefor-my-nat/
  • JamieVJamieV Posts: 158Registered Users
    I know, it seems all I am talking about now is my hair and no one else cares, they are just like"yeah, thats cool" but its like I want to go into all these details about CG and they are politely listening then change the subject:)
    So at least we can talk to each other on here!
    2c thick, heavy waves. Started CG (lo poo) in July '07. before that I straightened it and used hot rollers for years. pw wavy
  • lazykerrilazykerri Posts: 650Registered Users
    Welcome to the site!
    unpoof wrote:
    Hi, I am new to this site as well. Funny how you wish you had a little more curl, and I wish I had a little less!

    I think we always want what we haven't got :) I often envy those on this board with the ringlets or very curly 3b or 3c hair, but I've learned to feel content with what I do have. I think my hair is 3a but it's kinda straightish at the roots, which drives me nuts.

    Someone recently seemed to be critiquing my hair while I was on the bus and they were behind me. They were saying, "look at that hair, it's curly but frizzy. That's how yours was before you had it relaxed (etc. etc.) But I like yours better now." It was some guy saying it while talking with some woman. OK I admit my hair was not at its best (it was between washings and had some frizz, which is why I had put it in a ponytail), but isn't it rude to talk about someone literally behind their back! ? Where they can hear you loud and clear unless they can't hear at all?

    My husband didn't hear them (he doesn't hear well) and I told him later about it, and he said "well you didn't think it looked good, anyway--and what do they know?" which was not very comforting. (I took it as "oh it looked crappy, but it wasn't like you were going to the Oscars or something and thinking you looked great.")

    On the bright side, I guess I could take it as a compliment that my hair looks like someone's before they had it relaxed, seeing as I always think I'd like it to be curlier! ;)
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    ~ Always naturally lazy and curly! ~

    Photo album password: curly
    Blog: lazykerri.wordpress.com
    Curl Type: 3a Fii
    Current Favorites:
    • Jessicurl Too Shea Conditioner
    • Jessicurl Confident Coils
    • Rockin Ringlets, and
    • Herbal Essences Set Me Up Gel
  • JamieVJamieV Posts: 158Registered Users
    I can't believe how rude people can be! I looked at your pics and I think you have very nice curls! Curls that I would love to have in my hair:)
    2c thick, heavy waves. Started CG (lo poo) in July '07. before that I straightened it and used hot rollers for years. pw wavy
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    lazykerri, jo4481 and JamieV: Hi, I can't figure out how to do a quote, so I'm just jumping in here. I have two words for those people that were talking about your hair, and I can't say them here. :evil: You have beautiful hair!

    When I tell my boyfriend what people say (or have said in the past) to me, or behind my back about my hair, he always asks me the same question: "Why do you care what other people say?" "You're hair looks fine." And trust me, it did "not" look fine many of the times he has said this. Then I stop and ask myself, "Why DO I care?" I haven't yet come up with a good answer.

    Also, I met a young girl in a beauty supply store yesterday who had very curly hair. I thought it looked gorgeous. We got to talking, and she mentioned some product that was made by the company that came up with the original Japanese straightening. She told me that she had that process done once, and that when your frizzy roots grow in, they do your whole head over, and her hair had been in very bad shape as a result. She had just grown it out all curly and gotten it back into fine shape. I don't know if the above is true or not, but it makes sense to me that if you do enough chemical things to your hair, your hair will eventually suffer for it.

    So take heart in the fact that the hair of the person behind you that was relaxed will eventually reach it's breaking point, and you don't have to worry about that! :lol:

    Whatever your husband was trying to say probably came out of his mouth differently than what was in his head, so give him the benefit of the doubt. Men just don't seem to take hair as seriously as we do, I find.

    I should be getting ready for work now, but I'm here at the computer...I didn't realize there were others who faced curly hair issues and lamented over them like me. I guess I realized it, but just didn't know there was a website for it! 8)

    In fact, I used to go out and look enviously at all the straight-haired people. Now I find myself looking at only the people (men's hair too) that appear to have natural curls/waves, whatever, and wondering what hair products they use, or how do they get that look? I'm not afraid to ask either, because people love compliments. They are usually very happy to share their advice.

    P.S. I've been doing alot of talking about my hair, and I notice people listen and change the subject as well. Don't know what to say about that yet.
  • jo4481jo4481 Posts: 139Registered Users
    Here's a funny story for you girls about the change of subject...so I'm hanging out in bed with my bf watching t.v. when for whatever reason, I bring up how helpful and how addicted to this site I am and how my sis always shuts me up about it...So he tells me to talk to him about it and I start explaining how we all get ranked by what type of curl we have. So he asks, what type of curl do you have and I start telling him how I have 2C. I then see a devious look on his face and he says, 2C, thats easy to remember...he then cups my "ta-ta's" and goes...you have 2 of them, and they are C's...so it's easy to remember. Needless to say girls...I don't think he really cared LOL...so yes unpoof, I REALLY don't think men care as much as we do unfortunately LOL.
    I am currently a 2C who wants to be a 3...I'm trying for anything that will make my limp boring waves into bouncy curls...ANYONE PLEASE HELP!!!!

    http://public.fotki.com/JO4481/pix-of-mefor-my-nat/
  • JamieVJamieV Posts: 158Registered Users
    My biggest issues have been having thick hair and the fact that its in between curls and straight. It does have nice waves but its so thick. What started me on this whole hair transition was I was happy with my long layers that I was straightening and rolling (going for the Victorias Secret hair look) and was pretty happy and my husband says 'by the way, I was looking at your hair and I think it is too thick for your little face. you should cut it or something'
    I took it hard cuz I had thought all along he liked it and also that he just doesnt understand you can't change how thick it is and cutting it makes it worse. So then I cut bangs to change it up which he liked and I hated. (this was within the last 3 weeks)Then I started wearing my natural waves (which he loves no matter what)and just pushing the bangs on the side and now here it is a couple weeks later and it has led to me getting it cut tomorrow. (cuz I like it a little shorter with the waves, they usually spring into curls)
    Anyway, as much as he loves my natural hair he is the one that started me on this whole hair thing and now I am driving myself insane going out of my comfort zone. But I am glad I found you guys and this website because it does feel good to give in to what God gave me (or shall I say, blessed me with even though it smetimes does not feel like it) and make the best of it. Also knowing it will be healthier is nice.
    I decided that from now on (I too have been noticing curls everywhere I go now) If I see a girl with curls that I like, I am going to make it a point to complement her and spread the positiveness. Maybe she hates her hair...and needs to hear that.
    Ok, I didn't mean to go on so long....but glad I am not alone in worrying so much about my hair. Another thing today I was re-wetting it cuz it looked bad after my 2nd co-wash and he said "Aren't you starting to get a little obsessed?"
    2c thick, heavy waves. Started CG (lo poo) in July '07. before that I straightened it and used hot rollers for years. pw wavy
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Oh yeah, people always tell me I have too much hair for my face, they can't see my eyes. I got my haircut yesterday, and my boyfriend said that he thinks it looks better a little shorter. So naturally, I thought to myself, what did he think before? :shock: I didn't ask. I have enough trouble with people coming to my desk at work to talk to me, and while they're talking, I'm literally watching their eyeballs scrutinizing my big hair. Do you know, I can tell if I have a loose piece of dandruff floating around in my hair just by watching their eyes? :lol:

    See, it's like I thought: at the very least we can all have some good laughs exchanging hair-mares.

    Jo - your boyfriend talks about your boobs when you talk about your hair. Mine starts off listening and then nods right out in the middle of my conversation. I give him credit, though for trying to be polite and show an interest. Must be boring for guys listening to us go on and on about our hair.

    Jamie - To be perfectly honest, I am going to do what makes me happy. What brought me to this site was :evil: humidity. I was happy blow drying and flat-ironing, etc., as well. Until, we went on vacation and my hair took off in all directions. It was scary looking and I wasn't prepared for it. I'm going to "try" to be more curlier, like you are going to "try" to deal with your in-between curls and straight. If it doesn't work out, I'll have to go back to my old routine, I guess. We are the ones that have to feel comfortable about how we look, be it curly, wavy, or fake-straight, right?
  • JamieVJamieV Posts: 158Registered Users
    Definitely....if I am not happy with something, I just simply won't do it. I do want to have something my husband will like but I for sure have to like it too. But needless to say, he's excited for me to get a change tomorrow with my new do. And I am ok with that cuz I like to change my style when I think I find something that will work.
    May we all have good hair days tomorrow!
    2c thick, heavy waves. Started CG (lo poo) in July '07. before that I straightened it and used hot rollers for years. pw wavy
  • lazykerrilazykerri Posts: 650Registered Users
    JamieV wrote:
    I can't believe how rude people can be! I looked at your pics and I think you have very nice curls! Curls that I would love to have in my hair:)

    Thanks for the hairpliments, JamieV and unpoof :) That does make me feel better. I do think my husband was trying to be supportive, as he usually is, and he is usually a smooth-talker.

    I think my husband has asked me that same question about what do I care, they aren't important. I try not to care much but it is hard not to feel uncomfortable when someone seems to be scrutinizing you.

    To his credit, he has also said before that I never have bad hair days (and boy is he wrong!) He said my hair always looks good. I asked him what about in the morning? (when it's a frizzy mess, an unattractive bedhead.) He said that doesn't count. :) (thank goodness!)

    I've also talked to him about this site before, and about the curly girl method. One time I talked about sulfates and he said "so I've been using really bad stuff on my hair!"

    Like many guys, his hair can often look really curly without a lot of effort or any stylers. However, it will get frizzy if he blow dries it. I've envied his ringlets before, when he just washed it and put it in a ponytail. I think his hair is 3b, so it's naturally curlier. As you mentioned, guys tend not to obsess about hair as much (although some do...)
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    ~ Always naturally lazy and curly! ~

    Photo album password: curly
    Blog: lazykerri.wordpress.com
    Curl Type: 3a Fii
    Current Favorites:
    • Jessicurl Too Shea Conditioner
    • Jessicurl Confident Coils
    • Rockin Ringlets, and
    • Herbal Essences Set Me Up Gel
  • JamieVJamieV Posts: 158Registered Users
    The nice thing is no matter how my hair looks when I wear it wavy, even if it looks like total crap to me, my husband absolutely loves it. Its like he can't see anything bad about it. He goes crazy when I wear it that way. Thats another reason I figure if he really likes it that much, I should make an effort to learn to love it too.
    2c thick, heavy waves. Started CG (lo poo) in July '07. before that I straightened it and used hot rollers for years. pw wavy
  • echokittenechokitten Posts: 1,751Registered Users
    JamieV wrote:
    The nice thing is no matter how my hair looks when I wear it wavy, even if it looks like total crap to me, my husband absolutely loves it. Its like he can't see anything bad about it. He goes crazy when I wear it that way. Thats another reason I figure if he really likes it that much, I should make an effort to learn to love it too.

    My DH really loves my natural state. He said that was the reason he noticed me in the first place. Now he really likes the fact that I wear my hair down a majority of the time. Although, he still laughs when I am walking around the house with a tshirt wrapped around my head. But at least he knows that it's called plopping...and he knows what DT and co washing means too :lol: ...Oddly enough, he is a water washer. He rarely uses shampoo because he has thinning hair and his doc told him that sulphate poos are bad for thinning hair. He only uses 'poo once a week, the rest of the time he water washes but no condish. I think we've had the same bottle of Suave Daily Clarifying for about 6 mo and it's only half gone. :lol: (BTW he's a baby fine 2a)
    Cincinnati Ohio>>>Coarse protein sensitive 3a, Jessicurl WDT as a leave in, Biotera gel, White Boots, PW= coffeecurls

    "Man tries to exaggerate what nature has given him," Charles Darwin (1809-1882).

    "Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful." -Sophia Loren
  • jo4481jo4481 Posts: 139Registered Users
    My bf loves my hair natural too...I just have lost some curl over the past 3 1/2 years we've been together, and I know he loves curls so he's part of the reason why I want to make my hair look nicer, although with starting this new CG thing & trying a curl activator & plopping, i have gotten a bit more definition & he says it looks great, but as long as I keep it natural, he can't keep his hands off it. Actually the only time he has ever complained was when I straighten it. As a feel better gift, my mother bought me one of those ceramic expensive straighteners, the ones they sell you at the mall for $150. Well, anyway, it has been the only straightener to ever really make my hair naturally straight & I was amazed...so I asked what my bf thought, and he said you look beautiful as always, but you know I can't resist your curls. Then the next time we spoke on the phone he asked if the next time we would see eachother if I could wear my hair down and curly for him.

    So girls, even though with my hair perfectly straight I thought I looked more classy, less frizzy, and less messy...theres nothing like our natural state that drives our men crazy!
    I am currently a 2C who wants to be a 3...I'm trying for anything that will make my limp boring waves into bouncy curls...ANYONE PLEASE HELP!!!!

    http://public.fotki.com/JO4481/pix-of-mefor-my-nat/
  • JamieVJamieV Posts: 158Registered Users
    I know what you mean....the guys love the waves and curls. My husband can not figure out why I am so worried about getting more curl...he loves it as is. The funny thing is, before I got on this whole natural hair kick, about 3 weeks ago I actually bought one of those flat irons (as good as a Chi) and loved it. But I did get it for really cheap so I don't feel so bad.
    I even bought a big bottle of Chi Silk Infusion to use with flat irons! I need to figure out what to do with that now.
    2c thick, heavy waves. Started CG (lo poo) in July '07. before that I straightened it and used hot rollers for years. pw wavy
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    This is too funny. We are all obsessing about our hair, and our boyfriends, husbands, some (not all) of our family members always think we look fine. Last night, I actually came right out and asked my boyfriend if men are as concerned about hair as women are, and he flat-out answered "No". (Let me point out that he has straight hair and all he has to do it wash it and run a comb thru it and off he goes...) Anyway, my hair can look totally scary and he still thinks I look good. Maybe we are too hard on ourselves? Men only seem to worry about their hair when they are losing it. And other people that only like you if your hair conforms to what they think is acceptable are pretty shallow anyway.

    I'm still shampooing and blow drying, because my natural curls totally scared me last night! But at least I've stopped using the flat-iron. :)

    Lots more to learn on hear about letting my hair do its thing. :?
  • JamieVJamieV Posts: 158Registered Users
    You are sooo right:) I am about to shampooo cuz my hair is looking scary. ANy good waves I had a week ago are suddenly gone. I don't know what is up (and my new do didn't help them any:( )
    2c thick, heavy waves. Started CG (lo poo) in July '07. before that I straightened it and used hot rollers for years. pw wavy
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Oh, my haircut is looking pretty scary. It's very humid here, so I guess there's no fighting back. :bom: I'm just trying these new smilies here and there to see if they do anything special. I don't know what they mean. :laughing9:

    Good luck with your hair....I know I'm not having any luck with mine! I'm going to go take a big long nap. :cheers:

    If I can't set my curls free, I can free my mind in the land of s-l-e-e-p.

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file