For those who have birthed more than one child

wavezncurlzwavezncurlz Registered Users Posts: 1,814
I was thinking of Amneris' post about having a baby and the answers she got to her questions. I thought I'd do a spin-off and ask about 2nd, 3rd, and subsequent births.

How was pregnancy different 2nd, 3rd ...time around?
For me it's just been faster - I mean that I showed faster, I feel fatter faster, I ached sooner.... I am carrying higher this time. Otherwise I am not feeling much different. I didn't get morning sickness either time.

Did you feel less worried?
I am less worried - esp now that we are confident all is well
But I still worry...maybe I'm a worrywart by nature.

How similar or different was your subsequent birth experience(s)?
Most of you know I had a quick labor and birth so I'm scared that the second will be quicker...

If you breastfed first time, did you do it with each new child?
If so, was it as difficult as the first time? I just remember being so frustrated and in pain in the beginning! :shock:

How similar or different were subsequent babies? I'm wondering about personalities...

Finally, (my biggest fear/worry) did you worry about your relationship with #1 being compromised or changing? Did your fears come true?

Thanks guys!
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Comments

  • cosmicflycosmicfly Registered Users Posts: 1,814
    How was pregnancy different 2nd, 3rd ...time around?
    For me, my second pregnancy was easier, esp. in the first trimester. I was much less uncomfortable. Unlike virtually everybody else, I did not show sooner. In fact, I showed later (which was depressing- I'm not that big of a person, funny how an extra 15 lbs. can hide a pregnancy).

    Did you feel less worried?
    I worried more, but there were concerns about her size and I had a much more negative external stress the second time around.

    How similar or different was your subsequent birth experience(s)?
    They were similar in that I had a long prodromal labor with each of them, and I ended up being induced both times. My second experience was much more positive- I did not use/ need any pain meds (although I questioned that decision during transition, lol). The first time, I absolutely could not push without them, it was too excruciating. I had a much shorter recovery the 2nd time- the first time, I could barely walk for 10 days (big tear and stitches), the second time, I was up and about right away and I felt great.

    If you breastfed first time, did you do it with each new child? Yes, but I weaned the first at 2 1/2 and the second a year earlier
    If so, was it as difficult as the first time? Not at all. No pain, no discomfort- and she wasn't as good a nurser and it was still less frustrating. I felt like I knew what I was doing, so it was going to work out ok.


    How similar or different were subsequent babies? I'm wondering about personalities...
    They're very similar, although Max was a very easygoing baby and Maya was much more demanding.

    Finally, (my biggest fear/worry) did you worry about your relationship with #1 being compromised or changing? Did your fears come true?
    I worried very much, Max and I were very close. Our relationship has changed, but more because of the issues with his father than with his sister. We are still very close, but he sometimes acts like he is in an adult relarionship with me. Like I said, though, I think that's more due to his father's behavior and issues and our separation.
  • CynaminbearCynaminbear Registered Users Posts: 4,476 Curl Connoisseur
    How was pregnancy different 2nd, 3rd ...time around?
    Each pregnancy had it's differences. With #2, I was more nauseous, but threw up only once. With #3, I wasn't sick at all (and subsequently m/c). With #4, I was nauseous constantly and had to eat all the time, until I m/c. But, was still pg with a twin, yet not sick.
    I carried only up front with #2, rather than everywhere as I did with #1 and 4. With #1 & 4 I also looked more masculine, and with #2, more feminine.
    I showed faster with each subsequent pregnancy, too. Granted, with #1 I was in maternity clothes at 6 weeks. I gained approx. the same amount of weight with each, but started off heavier with the last one. I also ate the best during the last pregnancy.

    Did you feel less worried?
    With #2, less worried, once I got over being pregnant again. With #3 I wasn't worried, and with #4 I was very worried.


    How similar or different was your subsequent birth experience(s)?
    The 2nd and 3rd births were much easier than the first. Less time in labor is the biggest difference. Not to mention, I was awake for them, not the 1st. Each labor started differently, to the point that I wasn't sure I was really in labor because of Braxton-Hicks with #2 and a general feeling of uneasiness with #4.

    If you breastfed first time, did you do it with each new child?
    If so, was it as difficult as the first time? Yes, I breast fed all 3. #1 & 2 weaned themselves when I got pregnant with the next one. #2 was hardest because we both had thrush and I was in excruciating pain for 2 weeks.

    How similar or different were subsequent babies? I'm wondering about personalities...
    Personality-wise, it's hard to explain. They're just different. The youngest is more intense and sensitive. The 2nd is strong, emotionally, and doesn't let her feelings of insecurity, fear, or hurt show. The oldest just seems oblivious.
    Finally, (my biggest fear/worry) did you worry about your relationship with #1 being compromised or changing? Did your fears come true? I don't remember ever worrying about my relationship with the other kids changing. My biggest regret is with my oldest. I stayed home with him until 1/2 way through the next pregnancy. So, not only was I pg, but he had to go to a sitter for the first time. Looking back, I realize there were signs that he was feeling set aside. After #2 was born, #1 would come into our room in the mornings, but instead of getting in bed with us, like he used to, he'd just lay on the floor. When #4 was born, husband called the new baby the same nickname he'd used for #1 and the look on #1's face broke my heart.
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  • cymprenicympreni Registered Users Posts: 9,609 Curl Neophyte
    First pregnancy was a breeze, only problem was slightly swollen feet, and the fact he never wanted to leave the womb and he had to be induced, and he was a very laid back easy going baby. some hip/tailbone pain after giving birth that lasted a while.

    2nd, for some reason I was more worried that something was going to wrong. Had bad morning sickness, and even had the misfortune of getting a stomach flu at the same time so I couldn't hold anything down at all, finally lost the last 15 lbs from #1 (that burned bad). I had a alot of trouble carrying him. I actually considered induction the weekend I went into labor, I had actually to finally call the doctor for the induction. The hip pain was really bad with him. I would get up, take a step and my hip would give out and I would collapse. I ended up with an epidural with both, but the thing I remember most more then labor pains was the hip pain, it was that unbearable for me. I don't think I could handle a 3rd pregnancy because of that.

    Korbin is the exact opposite of Kade, he came out of the womb screaming bloody murder, and 23 months later he is still doing it at the slightest thing not going his way. Kade is a fun kid, loves physical activities, a bit of a practical joker, Korbin is more serious (not that he can't have fun) and still has that little baby need to fully explore everything like a little scientist. We're always joking how doomed we are, Korbin's gonna build a rocket, and Kade's gonna be the one to try and fly it to the moon.
  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Registered Users Posts: 5,297 Curl Neophyte
    My first labor and delivery were miserable, my second was a breeze, and a wonderful experience. My pregnancy sucked with the first, and with the second it was great. Totally easy. I'd forget that I was even pregnant half the time. My delivery and recovery for #2 were incredibly easy. I showered w/in 2 hours of delivering, I went home in 24 hours, I was vaccuming my house 3 days later....

    Breastfeeding #2 has been a breeze as well. Emotionally I feel much better about it, and I'm alot calmer, and give in to her demand feedings. I feel much more of a bond in the nursing process, but I'm sure that has a lot to do w/ my ppd w/ #1.
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  • curlyninercurlyniner Registered Users Posts: 130
    Thanks for posting these questions...I was wondering many of the same things earlier today, mostly about the labor part. My first labor was fast, too (0-10 in 2.5 hours of back labor with her sunny side up :shock: ). I'm pretty sure this one isn't face up (at least not right now), so I'm hoping to miss the whole steak-knife-in-the-back part, but if it goes much faster that that...well, let's just hope it doesn't.

    Only having one (air-breathing) child so far, I can only comment on the pregnancies - which have been 100% totally different. Different enough that I assumed it HAD to be a boy, since the first was a girl. But, no. With Katy, I was able to be happily in denial that I was even pregnant (except those extra 50 pounds) until labor started. Not with this one. Given the choice, I may have opted for an epidural around 12 weeks. :lol: Nausea, hip pain, back & tailbone pain, general achiness, much harder to breathe, heartburn is worse (and started sooner). Doesn't help that this one is (apparently) training for the Riverdance tour. :roll:

    And I tend to complain more too. :wink:
    "Things are exactly as they should be, all evidence to the contrary."

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  • MarMar Registered Users Posts: 3,004 Curl Neophyte
    How was pregnancy different 2nd, 3rd ...time around?
    All three of my pregnancies were virtually identical-except that I was more tired chasing after other kids with the third!
    I had the 4 mo long bout with "morning sickness" with each.

    Did you feel less worried?
    In some ways-I was less worried about delivery ,but probably had the same concerns for the baby.

    How similar or different was your subsequent birth experience(s)?
    Mine were very similiar,except that each labor was shorter.
    I had my water broken all three times,had no complications except for elevated blood pressure with #1 and #3(went away as soon as I delivered,only pushed for about 15 min with each one,and recovery was a little bit more difficult with the third(I was tired)

    I bottlefed

    How similar or different were subsequent babies? I'm wondering about personalities...
    ha!
    That is constantly evolving!
    As babies they had much the same temperment-with the last one being the "easiest",they were all very bright,very funny babies,but each with thier own DISTINCT personality!

    Finally, (my biggest fear/worry) did you worry about your relationship with #1 being compromised or changing? Did your fears come true?
    Did I WORRY about it?
    I don't think so-of course our relationship CHANGED,but having kids was the best thing either one of us ever experienced,so it was all good :)
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  • wavezncurlzwavezncurlz Registered Users Posts: 1,814
    thanks for the answers guys. I am so grateful to have a second chance at this - I'm trying to not complain as much! :)

    One more question
    For those who nursed again - does your milk come in any faster the 2nd time?
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  • rainshowerrainshower Registered Users Posts: 4,420
    I was thinking of Amneris' post about having a baby and the answers she got to her questions. I thought I'd do a spin-off and ask about 2nd, 3rd, and subsequent births.

    How was pregnancy different 2nd, 3rd ...time around?
    For me it's just been faster - I mean that I showed faster, I feel fatter faster, I ached sooner.... I am carrying higher this time. Otherwise I am not feeling much different. I didn't get morning sickness either time.

    Did you feel less worried?
    I am less worried - esp now that we are confident all is well
    But I still worry...maybe I'm a worrywart by nature.

    How similar or different was your subsequent birth experience(s)?
    Most of you know I had a quick labor and birth so I'm scared that the second will be quicker...

    If you breastfed first time, did you do it with each new child?
    If so, was it as difficult as the first time? I just remember being so frustrated and in pain in the beginning! :shock:

    How similar or different were subsequent babies? I'm wondering about personalities...

    Finally, (my biggest fear/worry) did you worry about your relationship with #1 being compromised or changing? Did your fears come true?

    Thanks guys!

    1. the second time, my morning sickness lingered into my second trimester, where it disappeared at the end of my first trimester with the first pregnancy. i started showing in my third month in my second preg., where with my first pregnancy, i was still wearing my regular pants into my 5th month. i was in more physical discomfort with my second pregnancy because of pelvis bones that had early on become disjointed. my belly was much larger and i had a prominant waddle. nonetheless, i still relished being pregnant and enjoyed the intimate and special experience that it was for my husband and me.

    2. i wasn't worried about my health or the baby. but i had irrational worries about our son and safety. our second baby was conceived after 9/11 and i had anxiety about world issues and how our son would be affected. i also experienced the typical "i can't possibly love this second baby nearly as much as i love our first baby" syndrome. :lol:

    3. both my labors were relatively quick. 5 hours for my first, and less than 3 hours for my second. i labored at home longer with our second because i knew the ropes and didn't feel that i had to jump to the hospital at the onset of real contractions.

    4. i breastfed both our babies starting from the moment they were cleaned up and layed on my chest. i nursed our son for over 2 years, and our daughter to 3 years.

    5. aside from me, my husband, my mother, and a couple of aunts, our son wouldn't let anyone hold him while he was awake; he'd scream bloody murder. he would only go to sleep in our arms or by being bounced on our laps. he was (and still is) laid back like my husband, blending in the background. it takes him a while to come out of his shell around new people. our daughter would go to anyone. she'll walk up to strange kids on the playground, introduce herself and call them her best friend. both our kids are nappers, but our daughter has always gone off to curl up somewhere when she felt sleepy. our son would require a ritual of being held, rocked, or stroked on his back to get him to sleep. their personalities are like night and day.

    i was soooo cut out for this job!
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  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Registered Users Posts: 5,297 Curl Neophyte
    Also wanted to add to the question, 'how did your relationship w/ your first change, and did your fears come true':

    I think the fear and anticipation is much worse than the true outcome. Once you have the baby, there's no questioning whether you'll have enough love to spread around. It's just very natural to love them both unconditionally.

    It's a lot like getting a new puppy. You spend a lot of time w/ the new puppy b/c they're so cute and tiny, and innocent, and new to you, but you don't lose the love you have for the one you've grown to know.

    I adore my new baby, and I just love to hold her all the time, but if something happens w/ my toddler, and she needs me, it's instinctual to jump up and attend totally to her.
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

    Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
  • wavezncurlzwavezncurlz Registered Users Posts: 1,814

    One more question
    For those who nursed again - does your milk come in any faster the 2nd time?

    Thanks again for the answers guys. I heart you guys!
    I had a question that I think got lost in the messages - see above.
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  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Registered Users Posts: 5,297 Curl Neophyte
    No, my milk didn't come in any faster, but I did find breastfeeding to be easier. I think there were so many emotions and new things going on w/ #1, that it was hard for me to relax and focus on bonding and breastfeeding.

    This time, I didn't put any pressure on myself to pump, so my milk really came in at full force, but it took about 72 hours.

    I'm finding it easier to feed on demand - probably b/c I'm too tired to focus on what time the last feeding was, so when she cries, I feed her.

    With my first I felt like I was trying to take care of my baby AND change myself as a person since I was getting used to being a mother. With the second, it's a lot easier b/c I'm already a mother, so I can focus on the needs of my baby more.

    But that's just my personal experience.

    I'm also finding that each child is teaching me something about myself.
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

    Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
  • missmoniemissmonie Registered Users Posts: 920
    How was pregnancy different 2nd, 3rd ...time around?
    -I showed faster (at 11 weeks it was pretty obvious!). I also gained more weight. I went from 125 to 193!! My second baby was 1 lb 11 oz bigger than the first and they were both born early (37 weeks and 38 weeks). I was indeed less of a worry wart the second time around and often couldn't remember what week I was in. Otherwise, the pregnancies were pretty similar until the end! I developed PUPPPS with my second pregnancy which was absolutely terrible.

    How similar or different was your subsequent birth experience(s)?
    -My water broke with the first, but not the second time. I labored for around 24 hours with the second one at home which was tough. I had a quick epidural after my water broke with the first....so the pain was minimal!

    If you breastfed first time, did you do it with each new child?
    If so, was it as difficult as the first time? I just remember being so frustrated and in pain in the beginning!
    -My boys are two years apart, so I thought I remembered how to breastfeed. Wrong! I had to get the lactation consultant to help me the second time around. He just wouldn't open wide enough to latch on. He's fine now....but refuses to take a bottle. He hates the nipple. I did find that my milk came in faster (after 3 days with no engorgement this time...yay!)

    How similar or different were subsequent babies? I'm wondering about personalities...
    -First one was very colicky...second one is sooooo easygoing. I love it!

    Finally, (my biggest fear/worry) did you worry about your relationship with #1 being compromised or changing? Did your fears come true?
    -I did worry....but it hasn't at all. Big brother hasn't showed any signs of jealousy and I can spread my time between the two of them. Now....if I have a third, I can see how this would be difficult!
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  • M2LRM2LR Registered Users Posts: 8,630 Curl Connoisseur
    How was pregnancy different 2nd, 3rd ...time around?
    It wasn't different the second time. EVERYTHING was the same.

    Did you feel less worried?
    Not really. I still worried.

    How similar or different was your subsequent birth experience(s)?
    Pretty similar. Both c-sections, one was scheduled ON my due date, and the other was scheduled at about 20 weeks.

    If you breastfed first time, did you do it with each new child?
    First time: 10 months, Second time 11 months.

    How similar or different were subsequent babies? First baby is 100% BOY. Very active. He's also very emotional, gets upset easily and is pretty sensitive. Second is a girl and is VERY laid back, not as emotional. She's only 18 months, so I totally expect this to change as she gets older.

    Finally, (my biggest fear/worry) did you worry about your relationship with #1 being compromised or changing? Did your fears come true?
    it was hard for a while. I mean, she was a BABY. She still requires more help than he does, so it seems that she's treated differently. I try to let him see when she's doing something wrong and gets in trouble, and I try to let him see when I tell her things that she might not want to hear...if that makes sense. If he asks for juice, and I tell him no, when she asks for it (since she heard HIM ask for it) I also make sure that he hears me tell her no.
    :rambo:

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