Aargh! She wants to nurse to sleep!

medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
How do I put the kibosh on that one with minimal crying? Any ideas?

I did it with my first two but this time around I have a 3 year-old at home and really have no time. :?
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  • cosmicflycosmicfly Registered Users Posts: 1,814
    She's tiny, so I'm not sure about the minimal crying, but can you wake her when you put her down so she's drowsy but awake?

    Neither of my kids would take a pacifier, but that might be an option if she just wants to suck... Depends on how you feel about them.
  • fuzzbucketfuzzbucket Registered Users Posts: 996 Curl Connoisseur
    My little one is doing this, but I don't have older kids, and I'm having a hard enough time, so I can't imagine! Ditto on the paci, if you're into that. My little guy practically came out sucking his fingers (including trying to do that WHILE nursing-argh!) so I'm trying to encourage that rather than the pacifier.

    If you find a solution, let me know. Right now, if I move him from wherever he falls asleep (usually on me), he wails, unless I side pass him to Daddy. Poor hubby has spent a couple of nights with him on his chest. Sweet, but not comfy! We just woke up from a 2.5 hour nap in the side-by-side nursing position, but I can't do that forever.

    I'd love to know what others have done.
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  • SaraNEvansMommySaraNEvansMommy Registered Users Posts: 73
    How old is your baby? That might help me with ideas.

    My first child nursed himself to sleep until he was 1.5 yrs old. I knew when I had my second child a day before my first turned 2 ( ;) ) that there was NO way I could nurse her to sleep. I never got into the habit, so it helped.

    I did eventually have to break the habit, obviously, w/ my first child. Weaning him was absolute torture for both of us, but I was uncomfy (read: sore boobs) from being PG again. Depending on the temperment of your baby I would probably say that there is no easy way to break the nursing to sleep pattern. Sometimes you just have to stop it cold turkey.

    You could always try a paci after you nurse for XX minutes. Or put your baby to bed with a sippy or bottle of water (just water, no juice or milk). It may help...

    just some random thoughts :)
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  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    Thanks so much, you guys. I don't feel so alone in this. My baby will be two weeks old on Tuesday. I really love nursing her to sleep, but the problem arises when I put her down. She knows the feel of the bassinet. She knows when she no longer feels my body heat. So, she wakes up crying and the nursing to sleep cycle starts again.

    I produce a lot of milk and after 10 minutes, Lilly is satiated. If I see her dozing after 10 minutes, I move her a little or burp her, then try to put her on the other breast, which she usually doesn't take. I just need to put her down so I can eat. Maybe even shower.
    My little guy practically came out sucking his fingers (including trying to do that WHILE nursing-argh!)

    Fuzzbucket, my Lilly does that too. :lol: I'm like, "get those hands out of the way little girl!" It is so cute. With my first, I totally gave in to those nursing-to-sleep moments, as it was just me and my son. We'd fall asleep together--it was a beautiful thing. I don't have that luxury right now. But Catherine starts preschool in September, so we might have more moments like that. :)
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    medussa wrote:
    How do I put the kibosh on that one with minimal crying? Any ideas?

    I did it with my first two but this time around I have a 3 year-old at home and really have no time. :?


    A nap after nursing is the best time for sleep, so you really don't want to stop that. What you want to stop is the sleeping-on-you stuff. Just put her down in her crib or bassinette after nursing, whether asleep or awake. If she wakes or cries, pat her back a bit. She'll eventually get the hang of it that the crib is the place to sleep.

    Music was always a good helper for me when it came to getting my kids to sleep. I had a music box for them that I always turned on at sleep time (even if they were already sleeping when I put them down). Eventually, they became like Pavlov's dogs...hear the music, go to sleep. A good quality music box is the ideal, rather than electronic music, because it's portable and you can take it anywhere and it only plays for 10-15 minutes, which is plenty of time for a baby to fall asleep. I napped my babies in a porta-crib once a day, so they would remain accustomed to it. That way, when we traveled, I just brought the porta-crib and music box and they would sleep anywhere.
  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Registered Users Posts: 5,297 Curl Neophyte
    I gave Bella a pacifier from the beginning. I know that's a no-no in the beginning when breast feeding, but I just couldn't take her using me as a pacifier. She wanted to nurse constantly, but she certainly wasn't hungry. If I was sure that it wasn't that she wanted to eat, I'd stick the sucker in.

    And she's still almost doubled her birth weight in 2 months :lol:
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

    Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
  • fuzzbucketfuzzbucket Registered Users Posts: 996 Curl Connoisseur
    babywavy wrote:
    I just couldn't take her using me as a pacifier.

    I feel like Harry is doing this. I just had to take him off me after an hour and 20 minutes so I could eat. I was feeling pretty shaky, not to mention raw. I'm planning to talk to my pediatrician and my lactation consultant. He is averaging an hour per feed. Maybe I'm not producing much yet?
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  • mad scientistmad scientist Registered Users Posts: 3,530 Curl Neophyte
    fuzzbucket wrote:
    babywavy wrote:
    I just couldn't take her using me as a pacifier.

    I feel like Harry is doing this. I just had to take him off me after an hour and 20 minutes so I could eat. I was feeling pretty shaky, not to mention raw. I'm planning to talk to my pediatrician and my lactation consultant. He is averaging an hour per feed. Maybe I'm not producing much yet?

    He's sooo little still, it'll all sort itself out. My DS would nurse, fall asleep, wake up, nurse some more, fall asleep again. This could go on forever! But that's what they do.

    Fuzzbucket, I would let him be for now. Get yourself a tv tray for next to your nursing chair and keep lots of snacks and drinks on hand so you can take care of yourself and your newborn.

    Just my opinion, but its different with your first baby, because you've never breastfed before. I think Medussa and Babywavy, having nursed babies before have a bit more lee-way in terms of what they can try to do with their newborns (ie. early pacifier or bottle introduction) because they already know how to recognize a good latch etc... When its your first, you probably want to err on the side of caution and do everything "by the book". Again, just my opinion!


  • fuzzbucketfuzzbucket Registered Users Posts: 996 Curl Connoisseur
    fuzzbucket wrote:
    babywavy wrote:
    I just couldn't take her using me as a pacifier.

    I feel like Harry is doing this. I just had to take him off me after an hour and 20 minutes so I could eat. I was feeling pretty shaky, not to mention raw. I'm planning to talk to my pediatrician and my lactation consultant. He is averaging an hour per feed. Maybe I'm not producing much yet?

    He's sooo little still, it'll all sort itself out. My DS would nurse, fall asleep, wake up, nurse some more, fall asleep again. This could go on forever! But that's what they do.

    Fuzzbucket, I would let him be for now. Get yourself a tv tray for next to your nursing chair and keep lots of snacks and drinks on hand so you can take care of yourself and your newborn.

    Just my opinion, but its different with your first baby, because you've never breastfed before. I think Medussa and Babywavy, having nursed babies before have a bit more lee-way in terms of what they can try to do with their newborns (ie. early pacifier or bottle introduction) because they already know how to recognize a good latch etc... When its your first, you probably want to err on the side of caution and do everything "by the book". Again, just my opinion!

    Thanks, Madscientist!
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  • SaraNEvansMommySaraNEvansMommy Registered Users Posts: 73
    I didn't realize your baby was so little. :) Congratulations :D

    Anyway, yes, at this young age your baby is just falling asleep at the breast naturally. As your baby reaches the 2 month mark I think you could try nursing him/her to *almost* asleep then laying him down in the bed still awake. This will condition him to learn to fall asleep on his own. Are you familiar with Jodi Mindell? She's a kids' sleep specialist. Google her.... she uses a somewhat modified Ferber method to help babies learn to sleep.

    HTH!
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  • fuzzbucketfuzzbucket Registered Users Posts: 996 Curl Connoisseur
    I haven't heard of Jodi Mindell. I'll check that out.

    I'm not as worried about the falling asleep at the breast as the whole not being able to put him down thing. Don't get me wrong: I love the snuggles! He is so cuddly! But the length of time on each breast at each feed, and then falling asleep so I can't move is a little tricky. I just got up from a whole night of sleeping and feeding side by side and man am I achy! I'd love to be able to put him down maybe every other time or something.

    He is such a good boy, though. I really can't complain.
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  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Registered Users Posts: 5,297 Curl Neophyte
    fuzzbucket wrote:
    babywavy wrote:
    I just couldn't take her using me as a pacifier.

    I feel like Harry is doing this. I just had to take him off me after an hour and 20 minutes so I could eat. I was feeling pretty shaky, not to mention raw. I'm planning to talk to my pediatrician and my lactation consultant. He is averaging an hour per feed. Maybe I'm not producing much yet?

    He's sooo little still, it'll all sort itself out. My DS would nurse, fall asleep, wake up, nurse some more, fall asleep again. This could go on forever! But that's what they do.

    Fuzzbucket, I would let him be for now. Get yourself a tv tray for next to your nursing chair and keep lots of snacks and drinks on hand so you can take care of yourself and your newborn.

    Just my opinion, but its different with your first baby, because you've never breastfed before. I think Medussa and Babywavy, having nursed babies before have a bit more lee-way in terms of what they can try to do with their newborns (ie. early pacifier or bottle introduction) because they already know how to recognize a good latch etc... When its your first, you probably want to err on the side of caution and do everything "by the book". Again, just my opinion!


    That's pretty good advice. I agree. Especially since in the beginning they are bulking themselves up, and establishing your milk supply and such. You don't want to confuse things by introducing a foreign nipple.

    Bella is two months, and she's still deman feeding. It's not AS demanding :lol: I mean, in the first couple of weeks the feedings are constant. Now she's gone to every 3 to 4 hours.

    It's difficult w/ the first b/c your not used to having your time being taken up so much. I remember I felt so tied down, like I couldn't multi task and do other things. I didn't like that I had to just SIT there and nurse. It will get easier. I know it can be difficult, and it's a learning experience for both of you, but you're doing a wonderful thing by choosing to nurse. It's also hard b/c we don't like in a society that is completly accepting, and condusive to nursing - so that poses as even more of a challenge, but w/ practice and experience, it gets better.
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

    Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    I can't put her down, it seems. 3 weeks old today. I'm exhausted. She is always in my arms either asleep or just quietly alert. If I put her down, she starts to cry. Sigh. When does this stage pass?
  • picklesgirlpicklesgirl Registered Users Posts: 1,955
    medussa wrote:
    I can't put her down, it seems. 3 weeks old today. I'm exhausted. She is always in my arms either asleep or just quietly alert. If I put her down, she starts to cry. Sigh. When does this stage pass?


    Quentin was like that to I finally had to put him in his swing and just let him cry it out. However the draw back to that is that he now selfsooths with his THUMB. I never wanted a thumb sucker I always looked at as I can't take his thumb away but I guess we'll deal with that when the time comes
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  • SaraNEvansMommySaraNEvansMommy Registered Users Posts: 73
    medussa wrote:
    I can't put her down, it seems. 3 weeks old today. I'm exhausted. She is always in my arms either asleep or just quietly alert. If I put her down, she starts to cry. Sigh. When does this stage pass?

    Honestly, with my first child that didn't start getting better until he was about 4 months. By 6 months it was a lot better.

    *hugs* Its tough :(
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  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Registered Users Posts: 5,297 Curl Neophyte
    medussa wrote:
    I can't put her down, it seems. 3 weeks old today. I'm exhausted. She is always in my arms either asleep or just quietly alert. If I put her down, she starts to cry. Sigh. When does this stage pass?

    That was totally Bella. I would love to tell you when it ends, but I was so tired that I had no concept of time - I really don't know. Maybe around a month?

    I think it's almost over for you. She's getting adjusted. I remember Bella was eating so often that I would feed her, she'd poop, I'd change her, get her settled, she'd poop again, I'd change her, put her down, and I'd literally get an hour and a half of sleep before I had to do it all over again.

    Exhuasted? Yes.
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

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  • AmnerisAmneris Registered Users Posts: 15,117
    The public health nurse told me, no pacifiers for at least the first 4 weeks if a baby is breastfeeding.

    JJ was doing this the first few days of his life (nursing to sleep.) The public health nurse showed me how to do breast compressions to get the milk out faster, then unlatch him, so my nipples don't get tired. It worked pretty well and he is on the breast way less now.
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  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Banned Users Posts: 24,963 Curl Neophyte
    No advice, since I'm a wimp...lol
    Just...(((hugs)))
    This, too, shall pass...
  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    She's not colick, right? Because she stops crying if I pick her up.
  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Registered Users Posts: 5,297 Curl Neophyte
    I believe colic is when they cry for 3 hours or more, for at least one, if not more, particular time during the day/night.

    I think she just wants her mommy. Why don't you try buying a sling, like a Moby, that way you can do stuff around the house while you carry your little one.

    She probably knows you have other kids at home, and if she didn't want to be held all the time she'd be forgotten in a swing. :wink:

    It's tough. My toddler is the squeaky wheel as well.
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

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  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    I'm wearing a Hotsling right now and my back is killing me (and I'm sitting)!

    How did you manage to clean the house in the early weeks? My GF came over for lunch and she says to me, "do you want me to help you clean the kitchen?" The kitchen was tidy but not clean, KWIM? She's a good friend but I was embarrassed that she offered in the first place. I really feel like I should have my **** together and I don't. :(
  • geekygeeky Registered Users Posts: 4,995
    medussa wrote:
    I really feel like I should have my **** together and I don't. :(

    WTF? You have a two week old, a toddler and a preschooler. The fact that you can string sentences together means that you have your **** together better than expected. Don't be so hard on yourself. Remember that it will get easier.
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  • velvet pawsvelvet paws Registered Users Posts: 1,250
    medussa wrote:
    I'm wearing a Hotsling right now and my back is killing me (and I'm sitting)!

    How did you manage to clean the house in the early weeks? My GF came over for lunch and she says to me, "do you want me to help you clean the kitchen?" The kitchen was tidy but not clean, KWIM? She's a good friend but I was embarrassed that she offered in the first place. I really feel like I should have my **** together and I don't. :(

    She was probably just trying to be helpful, not criticizing. You've got three little ones at home now, give yourself a break. You're doing fine. Don't worry about your house, nobody expects spotless with a newborn and a toddler around.
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  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Registered Users Posts: 5,297 Curl Neophyte
    geeky wrote:
    medussa wrote:
    I really feel like I should have my **** together and I don't. :(

    WTF? You have a two week old, a toddler and a preschooler. The fact that you can string sentences together means that you have your **** together better than expected. Don't be so hard on yourself. Remember that it will get easier.

    Absolutely!

    I clean when I'm feeling out of control, so anytime I had a free moment from both kids, I would be manically cleaning something.

    The first two or three weeks I had to succumb to dishes in the sink, and laundry piling up. There was just no way around it. By week four I think she settled a bit and I crazily went around cleaning bathrooms, mopping floors, dusting, etc etc. I felt like I had to get it done if I had the chance b/c I didn't know when the chance would come again!

    You're being too hard on yourself, and it probably has to do with the overwhelming niche thrown into your normal schedule. You will find a routine again!
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

    Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    Thanks. I needed a reality check, I guess. :wink:
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Banned Users Posts: 24,963 Curl Neophyte
    H~
    Get some help if you need it! :love1:
  • internetchickinternetchick Registered Users Posts: 6,191
    geeky wrote:
    medussa wrote:
    I really feel like I should have my **** together and I don't. :(

    WTF? You have a two week old, a toddler and a preschooler. The fact that you can string sentences together means that you have your **** together better than expected. Don't be so hard on yourself. Remember that it will get easier.

    Agreed. It's hard, I've been there. Still am somewhat. It does get easier as they get older, especially since they can help clean and learn to pick up after themselves.
  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Registered Users Posts: 5,297 Curl Neophyte
    medussa wrote:
    Thanks. I needed a reality check, I guess. :wink:


    See, you heard that I had dishes in my sink and you realized that I MUST'VE been overwhelmed! :wink:

    This was Baileys laundry alone when I finally was able to have some times to get stuff done again. Bella was born May 18th, I finished all the laundry that piled up on June 30th, and I know this b/c I was so excited I wrote something in my blog :bounce:


    CIMG0139.jpg
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

    Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    Are you enjoying your new washing machine? Looks like you are. :clown:
  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Registered Users Posts: 5,297 Curl Neophyte
    medussa wrote:
    Are you enjoying your new washing machine? Looks like you are. :clown:


    :thumbright:
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

    Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.

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