Finding Home

ZinniaZinnia Registered Users Posts: 7,339
I like to move to different states....because as the songs goes, "I still haven't found what I am I looking for."

Have any you moved to a new city and instantly known that this is where you belong, maybe not for the next 25 years, but at least for the next five or 10 years?

I am hoping that by the time I am 40 I have found a place to "settle".

Are any of you still looking for "home" or have you found your "home"?
Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin

Comments

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    I have a serious case of wanderlust. I'm never happy where I'm planted...I'm always wanting to move. In the 12 years I've been with my husband, we've moved from NJ to AZ to NJ again to PA...I'm always wanting to move again. I'd move again tomorrow, across town or across country (I really want to move to NC)...but I think we need to stay put for the next 10 years to let our kids attend this particular school district all the way through. After that, though, I'm outta here.
  • ZinniaZinnia Registered Users Posts: 7,339
    ====
    Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin
  • reenireeni Registered Users Posts: 149 Curl Connoisseur
    Yes, When we moved here, to Washington. The closer we got the more comfortable it became. We've been here for almost 35 years now..yikes!

    My husband was in the Army so we've been all over. From SanFrancisco, to Georgia, to Miami, to Germany, and then here, where he got out, got a job, and now it's almost retirement time.

    We go "back home" to the SF bay area, but it's just a place to visit now.We've also driven across the US twice, coast to coast,and different routes, so we've seen a lot of the country, but we like it here.
    What a WONDERFUL day!!
  • Bridget in AZBridget in AZ Registered Users Posts: 49
    We are home :)

    We started in MN, then to NC, to VA, to NC, to NY, to MN and now we are in AZ. We've been here 6 full years and it is home :)
    Blessings, Bridget
  • VTmomVTmom Registered Users Posts: 2,487 Curl Connoisseur
    I often find myself with thoughts of picking up and moving somewhere completely different, just to see where life takes me. Of course I know that will never happen, but it does sound exciting and mysterious. It reminds me of the John Mayer song, "Why Georgia" - here's a snippet:

    I am driving up 85 in the
    Kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
    just stuck inside the gloom
    4 more exits to my apartment but
    I am tempted to keep the car in drive
    And leave it all behind

    Cause I wonder sometimes
    About the outcome
    Of a still verdictless life
    The smallest deed is greater than the grandest intention.

    I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. (Invictus - William Ernest Henley)

    Just think I used to worry 'bout things like that,
    Used to worry 'bout rich and skinny, 'til I wound up poor and fat,
    Nowadays I kind of worry where my mind's been at,
    Just think I used to worry 'bout things like that. (Delbert McClinton - I Used to Worry from Never Been Rocked Enough)
  • ZinniaZinnia Registered Users Posts: 7,339
    reeni wrote:
    Yes, When we moved here, to Washington. The closer we got the more comfortable it became. We've been here for almost 35 years now..yikes!

    My husband was in the Army so we've been all over. From SanFrancisco, to Georgia, to Miami, to Germany, and then here, where he got out, got a job, and now it's almost retirement time.

    We go "back home" to the SF bay area, but it's just a place to visit now.We've also driven across the US twice, coast to coast,and different routes, so we've seen a lot of the country, but we like it here.

    This is what I want to experience one day. So far, I haven't found a place where I feel too comfortable.
    Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin
  • ZinniaZinnia Registered Users Posts: 7,339
    ====
    Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin
  • ZinniaZinnia Registered Users Posts: 7,339
    VTmom wrote:
    I often find myself with thoughts of picking up and moving somewhere completely different, just to see where life takes me. Of course I know that will never happen, but it does sound exciting and mysterious. It reminds me of the John Mayer song, "Why Georgia" - here's a snippet:

    I am driving up 85 in the
    Kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
    just stuck inside the gloom
    4 more exits to my apartment but
    I am tempted to keep the car in drive
    And leave it all behind

    Cause I wonder sometimes
    About the outcome
    Of a still verdictless life

    VT Mom,
    Why do you say, it will never happen?

    I like that song. I have those thoughts too. I also have thoughts of just moving one day and not letting anyone know where I am going. Once I am there for a few months, then I will contact people.

    Moving to different places is exciting...not sure if mysterious is the right word, at least for me. Well, it can be mysterious until a person finds her way around town. :wink:

    I feel that I do want to move again, but to where, I am not sure yet.
    Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin
  • VTmomVTmom Registered Users Posts: 2,487 Curl Connoisseur
    Wildflower,

    We are pretty much rooted where we are. My husband grew up in this area, he's worked at the same place for 31 years, and has a little less than 5 years before he can retire. It would truly be foolish for us to leave. I have to say that I love my family, friends, house, job, etc., but I have always kind of had that feeling of wanting to pick up and go somewhere new. Does that feeling have a hidden meaning?? :?
    The smallest deed is greater than the grandest intention.

    I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. (Invictus - William Ernest Henley)

    Just think I used to worry 'bout things like that,
    Used to worry 'bout rich and skinny, 'til I wound up poor and fat,
    Nowadays I kind of worry where my mind's been at,
    Just think I used to worry 'bout things like that. (Delbert McClinton - I Used to Worry from Never Been Rocked Enough)
  • ZinniaZinnia Registered Users Posts: 7,339
    I don't think so.

    With less than 5 years to retire, that is great because then you two can travel! You can pretend to just keep driving and driving....but you get to return home.

    And the traveling will be even better because you get to return to the city/house/friends/family that you love. Very exciting. :D

    I can't wait to get to a point in life where I have found a place that am excited to return.
    Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin
  • VTmomVTmom Registered Users Posts: 2,487 Curl Connoisseur
    Windflower wrote:
    I don't think so.

    With less than 5 years to retire, that is great because then you two can travel! You can pretend to just keep driving and driving....but you get to return home.

    And the traveling will be even better because you get to return to the city/house/friends/family that you love. Very exciting. :D

    I can't wait to get to a point in life where I have found a place that am excited to return.

    Loved your response - it made me feel good, and "normal"!
    The smallest deed is greater than the grandest intention.

    I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. (Invictus - William Ernest Henley)

    Just think I used to worry 'bout things like that,
    Used to worry 'bout rich and skinny, 'til I wound up poor and fat,
    Nowadays I kind of worry where my mind's been at,
    Just think I used to worry 'bout things like that. (Delbert McClinton - I Used to Worry from Never Been Rocked Enough)
  • CurliLocksCurliLocks Registered Users Posts: 10,573 Curl Connoisseur
    We're back "home" now, in CA where we started. Since being married, I've followed DH and his AF career from CA to Germany, then to TX, back to Germany, on to NM... when he retired we moved back home.

    But I think I always felt the most 'home' in Germany. We loved Europe and I would gladly move back there now. I miss it. :cry:

    And although we are back home, things have changed so much in 16 years that it seems foreign to me now. We moved to be near family, but other than that, I could move again.
    SF Bay Area, CA * "The Angel-Goddess-Guru of Haircoloring" :D
    3b/c/a mix. medium texture, low porosity
    My Motto: Strand Test! some hair pics
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] -- gone, but never forgotten.
  • beckysmabeckysma Registered Users Posts: 241
    We lived two years in Idaho when we were first married in the early 90's. My DH was in the Air Force there. We just went back last week for the first time, a getaway without the kids. I could live there. The mountains are beautiful. We decided when we retire we will either move there, or own an RV and travel there a lot.

    LOVE the mountains.
    3b, fine, but LOTS of it...
  • CelticCurlsCelticCurls Registered Users Posts: 558
    I've lived lots of places. I know just what you mean about wanting to find a place that feels like home. I grew up in Rocky Mtn desert country, but it never felt like home. There's a lot to love about that region: no dust mites or cockroaches, cool nights, no rain or humidity, gorgeous autumns. But I longed for cooler temp's, less harsh sunlight, softer air.

    I lived in the Midwest -- lovely rolling hills, but so bug-infested you couldn't enjoy them without setting off 'bug bombs'; the South -- too hot, & even more buggy + snakes. Then 3 years in England. The climate was bliss: mild, temperate, rarely too warm, lots of atmospheric fog and rain; people hanging their laundry outside, open air village markets -- I felt at home. And finally, to WA state, where I felt even more at home. Everything about the Northwest: climate, progressive politics, being near both the ocean and the mountains, feels like home. I felt an instant 'click', like I was a puzzle piece fitting into place. It's a physical, visceral sensation. Then 3 yrs ago I came to Juneau, surrounded by rugged wilderness, water, & islands, and feel very at home here too. I don't know that Alaska is home forever, but I think the overall Northwest is. I've lived in view of the cool green-gray sea for the last 8 years, and can't imagine being away from it now, unless it was for the mountains. But the flat plains, desert canyons, and palm-treed beaches are not for me. I love the cool misty gray up here. It's a quirk, people love or hate the NW.

    I decided 10 yrs ago that where I lived was more important to me than what I was doing there. And my career has taken a backseat because of that. It's a trade-off I'm content with. I've been asked in job interviews why I'm (OK, they put it more tactfully) overeducated & underemployed, and I told them frankly that I chose living somewhere I loved over having a job I loved. :o That's also a great thing about turning 40 -- you tend to speak the truth & don't care so much if others approve of your choices. That said, I've also been a big fan of "bloom where you're planted" -- I've found something to love or enjoy about everyplace I've lived, even when it clearly wasn't home.
    3B, bra-strap length
    laidback, very-modified CGer
    HG: GF Sleek 'n Shine Leave-in; Alagio
  • ZinniaZinnia Registered Users Posts: 7,339
    ====
    Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin
  • cara4curlscara4curls Registered Users Posts: 336 Curl Neophyte
    I know there are people who swear that where they were born and grew up is their home, but I'm not one of them! I knew before the age of 10 that my destiny lay far from my home of origin(small town on an island off Rhode Island). Right now, I am hugely happy to be back in vibrant, exciting, multicultural San Francisco, after 12 years in New Mexico. A series of very fortunate occurrences led us to be able to return here. I lived in NYC for almost 11 years after getting out of art school, and that was good for me for a very long time, until it was time to head west. I lived here for 14 years, until it was time to make a big change and head out to desert country for 12 years, which again, was the right thing to do and was an amazing experience in itself. But in the end, the fact of being so far away from the ocean, and a more temperate climate really nailed me, as well as being far away from a multicultural environment and cultural stimulation. They can say all they want about Santa Fe(which is a nice small city in many respects)that it is multicultural, but it is not. but the arts scene there is very good however, and it is more unusual than many cities of its size. But we lived way out in the country 27 miles out side of it, which in New Mexico is really out there. as once one leaves any town, one is just out there. I'm one of those folks who does better in a city - in many ways my life is "simpler" in that I'm far more mobile and less isolated. I have found that small town life is not for me - I grew up in one, and many of the same issues presented themselves in the New Mexico village where I lived until we returned here last year. So I don't romanticize small-town living at all at this point. Nice to visit, but not to live there! I understand totally what CelticCurls is talking about when she says that she loves the Northwest(that was my first introduction to the West on a couple of visits in the mid-70s)and what she says about being in a place that she loves over having a supposedly great job in a place she doesn't. She's right about the visceral reaction too when one has found one's home.
    Ever since I've been back(almost a year)I have been reveling in the climate, vegetation, excitement and cultural stimulation - in short, everything!
    Another place that I absolutely fell in love with, but just wouldn't be practical for us to live there full-time for a number of reasons(although we were considering it at one point)is the Big Island of Hawaii - very powerful, visceral and incredibly beautiful, lush place. But since we live here in SF, it is alot easier for us to go out to visit when we choose to again.
    About the water thing, those of us who grew up by the ocean have a hard time eventually being away from it. It doesn't mean that we return to the same coastal area where we grew up, but it does mean that we might eventually return to a coast. Those who did not grow up by the ocean often don't understand this on a visceral level - my husband is one of these(he doesn't even swim), but he could see how increasingly unhappy I was being so far inland in New Mexico. Actually, he really enjoys being back here too, as he does enjoy the vibrancy here, as well as the climate.
    health-conscious, visionary artist in transition
  • CelticCurlsCelticCurls Registered Users Posts: 558
    windflower, that's the main reason I moved to Juneau, for a great job and an adventure. I was living in Bellingham, WA, which has a perfect climate and a view of the San Juan Islands. Vancouver 30 min to the north; Seattle 90 min to the south. And absolutely no jobs. I loved the land itself, but the people not as friendly as here, and I had a truly awful & mindnumbing corporate job -- which I took only because jobs were so scarce.

    So ironically, I moved to a town 1/2 the size, for a job, and after a year, the company closed and by BF & I broke up -- in the same month. So I found a job in state gov't which was so-so, and a funky old apt in the historic district for myself & my collie. Then I met my current BF, a gorgeous artist 8 yrs younger than me (that went a long way toward cheering me up & convincing me I hadn't imagined that this place felt like home :wink: ); my so-so job led to my current job -- which strangely enough is my very favorite job thus far -- & we bought a little condo with awesome views. My point is: a kind of synchronicity happens when a place is 'home', and things start to fall together more easily in your life. I found everything in B'ham very difficult: job, relationship, everything. But when I moved here, things began to slide into place. Disastrous things aligned into good things.

    I agree with Cara that a place can be home, and the perfect place for you to be...until it isn't anymore. Like relationships, it isn't necessarily that they fail, but that they run their course, and are completed. Same with a place as home. I feel a peace in my soul and a contentment with my life here. But one day, perhaps 5 years from now, I might long to live back in WA or OR where the wilderness is further away, but there's enough sun that I can have a wildflower garden again, and a big shade tree to put a hammock beneath.

    There's no right or wrong way to arrive at your home. There's something to be said for following your career to wherever you need to be, then earnign enough $$ to buy your freedom & live where you choose later on. I just chose to put career in a secondary place in my life. And I'm also childfree, so that gives me a kind of freedom to take more financial risks. Plus, I live fairly simply: modest housing; I wear Crocs, & I drive a Scion. Just never mind those lotions 'n potions. :lol: So all of that puts me in a position to choose laidback jobs that I reasonably enjoy, but don't lose any sleep over, & put my real energy into what's important to me: my relationship, my dog, walking the quiet beaches, working (very slowly) on a couple book projects, and obsessing over curly products.
    3B, bra-strap length
    laidback, very-modified CGer
    HG: GF Sleek 'n Shine Leave-in; Alagio
  • susancnwsusancnw Registered Users Posts: 1,374 Curl Novice
    I'm a Native Texan (6th generation), but grew up mostly in GA, TN, 2 yrs in MO, 9 LONG months in Baltimore, and about 25 altogether in Tx. Oh yeah, NC for 2 years. When we lived in Houston an old friend offered me a job in his company, and we went for it, dragging along 4 kids and a dog. Since I spent so much time growing up in GA, it felt like home, the architecture, the 'feel' of it, the vegetation, etc. But hubby was miserable and the boys didn't care for it at all. Took them almost the whole time we were there to make friends (they didn't really make any effort). So when I was laid off prior to the sale of the company, they offered to move us wherever we wanted in the 48 contiguous states (there went Australia!:)) So we came back to Co, which is where we lived while hubby was in grad school. I had always wanted to live here, visited when I was a teen, and when he decided on grad school here, I was thrilled. A part of us has always been sorry that we left (esp when we moved back and saw the asking on a home we had been looking at 18 yrs before--from $80K to over $300K...housing is ridiculous here). But we're back in a place that is home...although I confess that I am missing the beach and will have to go back soon.

    We're lucky to have two homes....Texas and CO.
    My son wears combat boots (and a parachute). So does my son-in-law.
    The older I get, the less patience I have with cleverness. Thomas Sowell.
    Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve. Benjamin Franklin.
    Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. Mark Twain.

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