Questions for those who have birthed children.

AmnerisAmneris Registered Users Posts: 15,117
I have to get as many responses to this as I can for birth class. I've tried a bunch of people IRL, so now to the on line folks. Any answers you can give me would be great!

1. What helped you most when you gave birth?

2. What was your spiritual experience of giving birth?

3. If you could do it over again, what would you do the same?

4. Is there anything you would do differently?

5. What do you wish you had known beforehand?
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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Comments

  • deezee02deezee02 Registered Users Posts: 1,509
    1. What helped you most when you gave birth? Honestly, my epidural, it truely allowed me to have fun and enjoy the birth

    2. What was your spiritual experience of giving birth? i did not have a spiritual experience per say, I was very focused on the future of my baby and that i where all of my energy was.

    3. If you could do it over again, what would you do the same? Everything, i had a really good experience.

    4. Is there anything you would do differently? Nope

    5. What do you wish you had known beforehand? that contractions feel like very very bad cramps, they are nothing what i expeted and nothing like the docs described.
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  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    1. Support and planning from team of midwives doula and fiance.
    2. I didn't view it as a spiritual experience
    3. Home water birth. Unless it was medically necessary, I'd never give birth in a hospital.
    4. More bendy straws. It was great sipping juice out of them. And I would labor in the water longer.
    5. nothing. I felt very prepared with the research that I did.
  • DarkAngelDarkAngel Registered Users Posts: 2,671 Curl Neophyte
    Do c-section moms count?

    1. What helped you most when you gave birth? My ipod. Music helps soothe me. Once I had my music, I was able to calm down. It helped during my entire stay.

    2. What was your spiritual experience of giving birth? not applicable

    3. If you could do it over again, what would you do the same? I would do my best to have more control over everything and make sure that the staff keeps me in the loop.

    4. Is there anything you would do differently? Same as above.

    5. What do you wish you had known beforehand? That things can and will go differently than planned but that it won't be the end of the world.
    image.php?type=2&o=5&c=1&date=2009-10-07&babyname=Sebastian

    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -- Theodor Seuss Geisel
  • geekygeeky Registered Users Posts: 4,995
    1. What helped you most when you gave birth? Laboring in the tub, being in a calm, quiet room and not being disturbed, knowing about the stages of labor and that what I was feeling (including OMG I can't do this) was normal.

    2. What was your spiritual experience of giving birth?
    I don't know about spiritual, but I was definitely in an altered state of consciousness. Like nothing existed except me and my body and what I was feeling, not in a bad way, in a deep meditation kind of way.

    3. If you could do it over again, what would you do the same? 99% of it. I liked that there was very little intervention and that I could do what I wanted to do.

    4. Is there anything you would do differently? I would stay in the tub during transition. I was in the tub when my water broke and the mw wanted to check my cervix and got me in delivery position to try and push. The hospital does not allow water births so I know she was just trying to do her job as gently as possible, but next time I would stay in the tub, say no thanks to the exam and not try to push till I felt like I was good and ready. I did eventually find my own pushing groove and things turned out fine, but I wish I had been left the hell alone to get there on my own time.

    5. What do you wish you had known beforehand? How much like taking a giant poop it feels like.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • KristaRoseKristaRose Registered Users Posts: 546
    I'm going to stray and not answer every question. Sorry! (These are in no particular order).

    One thing I wish somebody had warned me about is how badly you shake afterwards. That scared me. And it's completely normal to shake.

    Another thing I wish I had known is that there really isn't anything for you to do after delivery. I had always thought I needed to do something with the afterbirth. I remember asking my doctor numerous times "What now?" and he just kept telling me to relax.

    And yet another thing I wish I had done differently is that it truly would've been okay for my mom-in-law to be in delivery with me. She was there for every contraction but I had told her at the beginning that I didn't want her there for the actual birth. (I was gentle about this). Turns out.....an entire football team and cheerleaders could've been in there. I would not have known the difference.

    I must also say that my daughter just turned 15. So my memory is a little bit foggy.
    3B
    Growing out from a pixie cut. Long process but I'm getting there.
  • jcejce Registered Users Posts: 512 Curl Connoisseur
    1. What helped you most when you gave birth? Having my husband and grandma there. My husband is very scientifically knowledgeable, so I knew he would make sure everything was going ok medically, and ask any important questions. My grandma and I are very close, so having her there was very calming for me. She even held my hand while they stitched me up. She also got to hold the baby first, which was really special for me.

    2. What was your spiritual experience of giving birth? At the time, I don't remember being very spiritually minded. Though, going into it, I remember thinking that I could do this, as God has designed the human body to give birth, women have been doing it for centuries, and I and baby would be just fine, somehow.

    3. If you could do it over again, what would you do the same? Natural childbirth, birthing ball, having my grandma if she's able (if she's not, not sure what I'll do, as no one else I know is as calming for me). Also, be firm with the staff - you know your body better than they do and what's happening to it. They didn't believe me at first that my water had broke (it had), or when I was ready to push (Oh, look at that! You're at 10cm. I guess it's time to push. - Yeah, I told you I was ready to push! :x )

    4. Is there anything you would do differently? Maybe a home birth or not go to the hospital so soon. Though I've heard later babies can come much quicker than the first, so I'm not sure, since first one came only 7 hours after my water broke.

    5. What do you wish you had known beforehand? No one told me how nauseous one can get during labor. For a few hours, with every contraction I would get hot and sweaty and nauseous. It was most unpleasant. I wish I had known how much my nether regions would ache after delivery, and how painful it is for a tear to heal. And that not everyone is totally healed in 6 weeks - it took me longer.
    3b/c normally, 3a/b in the winter

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    1. What helped you most when you gave birth?

    I don't feel like I "gave birth" to my 3 c-sec babies (I felt more like a surgical patient), so I'll answer this based on my one-and-only vaginal birth. What helped me the most was birthing in water. I was scared to push...because it felt like I would injure myself...the stretching sensation was just overwhelming. Once I got in the water though, I was able to push with full abandon because it felt like the water really helped the perineum to stretch much better. It worked, because I birthed a 9 pound baby in just a few minutes, without any tearing. I felt like a million bucks afterwards...not even sore.

    2. What was your spiritual experience of giving birth?

    It made me feel extremely powerful to have had a natural birth, to push my baby out under my own power, especially since I had 3 previous c-secs and had been told by various experts that I would never be able to give birth without surgery. I was on Cloud 9 for months after that experience, and also very emotionally healed from the damage the horrible c-secs had done (especially the first traumatic one without anesthesia).

    3. If you could do it over again, what would you do the same?

    4. Is there anything you would do differently?

    If I could do it over again, I would have ALL my babies at home, instead of thinking that I should have the first one in the hospital "just in case" and then have the rest at home. The truth is, hospitals turn more labors into medical disasters than they help and so many women end up with c-secs these days, that they likely won't ever be able to have a homebirth after the hospital gets done with them. My homebirth was absolutely perfect. I wish I had figured out that the best baby to have at home is the first baby.

    5. What do you wish you had known beforehand?

    I wish I had known that the end of labor isn't any more painful than early active labor. I spent way too many years being absolutely-freaking-scared of birth, but I found out with my natural birth that there's really not much to be frightened of. Like many women, I bought in to the common advice that I had better get the epidural in early labor, because it's going to get REALLY bad later. Not so. I found out that late labor just brings contractions closer together, not more painful. If someone can take the pain and intensity early active-labor contractions, then they're going to do well later on, and having a just-in-case epidural may bring more problems than it's worth, because EVERY epidural causes complications...every single one.

    And, again, I wish I had known before having 3 c-secs that homebirth is every bit as safe as hospital birth for normal healthy women. Some studies have even found it to be SAFER.
  • CynaminbearCynaminbear Registered Users Posts: 4,476 Curl Connoisseur
    1. What helped you most when you gave birth?
    Having my husband with me through it all. He was a source of calming and strength.

    2. What was your spiritual experience of giving birth?
    With the first, experiecing labor made me feel so strong. Even though I didn't get far, I was in hard labor for a while and knowing I lived through it makes me feel like I can handle most any other kind of pain. After the second, I was amazed at what a miracle giving birth was. Being able to see her right away was incredible.

    3. If you could do it over again, what would you do the same?
    I'd pack pretty much what I packed for the 3rd.

    4. Is there anything you would do differently?
    Like RCW, I would have investigated home birth more, probably getting a midwife. I would have stayed at home to labor there. I would have listened to my instincts. I would have taken a different birthing class.

    5. What do you wish you had known beforehand?
    It would have been nice to know about the shaking. That the pain wasn't like any I'd experienced before. How much I needed to talk to someone through labor and after, just having someone know what it was like, understand, and be with me to reassure me I'm ok, doing well, and will get through it.
    There's no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned up the sun.
  • SpiderSpider Registered Users Posts: 3,381 Curl Neophyte
    1. What helped you most when you gave birth? 1st time- the drugs. Not a joke. 2nd time I was knocked out for the emergency c-section, but before that it was the care and concern of the doctors because I was scared s***less.

    2. What was your spiritual experience of giving birth? none really for the births, though the second time I prayed for my DS to be okay and survive.

    3. If you could do it over again, what would you do the same? go the the same hospital I delivered at, which was different from the one I was planning to be at

    4. Is there anything you would do differently? honestly have a c-section and not the vaginal birth. Oh and NOT go to the same OB I went to with DS.

    5. What do you wish you had known beforehand? That no matter what you want, or plan, you have to be prepared for anything and do what's best for baby & you.
    Don't let your heart be broken. Let it love.
  • cosmicflycosmicfly Registered Users Posts: 1,814
    Amneris wrote:
    1. What helped you most when you gave birth?
    1st time- the epidural. 2nd time- it happened so fast that I'm not sure, but being able to labor in the water was helpful.

    2. What was your spiritual experience of giving birth? Honestly, I was so wrapped up in getting the babies out that it wasn't a spiritual experience so much as a job I had to do.

    3. If you could do it over again, what would you do the same? With my second pregnancy, I was much more likely to question what the OB and the midwives were doing. My second birth was great, I woudln't change anything, really, except that maybe I'd do it at home.

    4. Is there anything you would do differently?
    Not really- except that I'd at least research home birth.

    5. What do you wish you had known beforehand?
    The first time- that the recovery would be such a big deal. I was really sore for many many days. The second time- that it really was so much easier, in terms of the pushing and the recovery. I might have done it sooner, I was really afraid.
  • rainshowerrainshower Registered Users Posts: 4,420
    Amneris wrote:
    I have to get as many responses to this as I can for birth class. I've tried a bunch of people IRL, so now to the on line folks. Any answers you can give me would be great!

    1. What helped you most when you gave birth?

    2. What was your spiritual experience of giving birth?

    3. If you could do it over again, what would you do the same?

    4. Is there anything you would do differently?

    5. What do you wish you had known beforehand?

    1. the breathing that i learned in lamaze really took the edge off the pain. if for no other benefit, i was so focused on trying to do the right type of breathing for the type of contraction that by the time i figured it out, the contraction was over! ha! also, the jacuzzi with jets that beat on my back during the 7cm contractions, a dimly lit room, and getting on all fours, leaning over the bed, and walking around.

    2. i'm sure that i prayed for a healthy, uncomplicated delivery and a healthy baby. but that was probably the extent of it. i wasn't focusing on God or Jesus (they know i love them!). i was focused on breathing through the contractions and sleeping in between them.

    3. i would have our third baby at the same hospital. i'd have the same ob (she delivered both our children). the hospital staff was great. there is a nurse who knits bonnets for all the newborns! it's a regular old hospital that used to be the county hospital for poor people. i'd pick it over the more clinical, world reknown hospital across town any day.

    4. i wanted to catch my baby the second time, to be the first person to hold her. it was in my birthing plan the second time to catch my baby, but she came so fast, i was pushing before my ob re-entered the room. by that time, my body succumbed to her pushing her own way out and the whole "catching my baby" fantasy was out the window. i needed the doctor to catch her so she wouldn't have projected across the room!
    my body pushed her out with such force that i had tearing and my amniotic fluid squirted in three different directions like a las vegas fountain!
    

    5. i didn't have any disappointments either time. i was really satisfied with my doctors, the staff, and the way they made my husband comfortable as well. before being admitted, i feel that i was equipped with all the knowledge i needed to get me through the 2-day stay there.
    "Dogs stink too, but I like dog stink." ~ rileyb
  • j'adorej'adore Registered Users Posts: 1,966 Curl Neophyte
    1. What helped you most when you gave birth?

    Low moans. Circling my hips with every contraction. Back rubs from fiance.

    2. What was your spiritual experience of giving birth?

    Very high spiritual time for me. Being pregnant and giving birth is the highest/most blessed thing you can do in this universe. I felt blessed and empowered to be a woman and to have the gift to be able to bring forth life. The actual birth process took me thru every emotion.

    3. If you could do it over again, what would you do the same? Pretty much. I really enjoyed birthing in my own bed, being free to get comfy and just do it.

    4. Is there anything you would do differently? No.

    5. What do you wish you had known beforehand? I was pretty prepared. But, there are certain things no one can really *tell* you. Every experience is different.
    "Don't play me...I'm over 30, and I don't smoke weed"
    -Prince

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  • sarah42sarah42 Registered Users Posts: 4,034
    1. What helped you most when you gave birth?

    My sister was extremely helpful. DH was there as well, but I think he was a bit freaked out by everything. I didn't have a doula, but I imagine a doula would be like my sis. When I was feeling overwhelmed and felt like I wanted an epidural, she suggested heat pads to relieve my lower back pain. She was encouraging and told me how well I was doing. I'm very glad I had her there.

    2. What was your spiritual experience of giving birth?

    I felt like it was very profound. I didn't think of it as a spiritual experience at the time, but in retrospect, maybe it was. Just the idea of creating a new person and bringing him into the world.

    3. If you could do it over again, what would you do the same?

    Everything....except I wouldn't consider the epidural. I did OK without it.

    4. Is there anything you would do differently?

    I would try to get as much rest as possible beforehand. Also, I went to the hospital and got sent home once. I followed the Dr.'s guidelines and went when the contractions had been coming 4 or 5 minutes apart for at least an hour (more like 2 hours), but I was still early (only 1-2 cm dilated). I don't know how I could have avoided that, but if possible, I wouldn't have shown up that first time.

    5. What do you wish you had known beforehand?

    When I got to the hospital (the 2nd time), I was 4 or 5 cm, and I feared that the contractions would get much worse by the end. However, I didn't feel like they were that much more intense at 8 or 9 cm. (I don't know if that's typical--just my experience.) Also, going into the experience, I really wanted to avoid an episiotomy. However, the doctor thought I was going to tear in multiple places, and did perform one. I didn't find that recovery from it was bad, and I haven't had any aftereffects. I still have mixed feelings about them (are they really necessary when our species has survived for thousands of years without them?), but I didn't have a bad experience with mine. I guess overall, I wish I had had more faith in my ability to give birth to my baby--I didn't know if I could do it without pain medication, but I could and did.
    ehLB.jpg
  • subbrocksubbrock Registered Users Posts: 8,212
    1. What helped you most when you gave birth?
    the epidural. seriously. i labored at home for 1.5 days before i was admitted and that was the worst pain...ever. after i got the epidural, things were smooth sailing. also having a great support team there heped too!

    2. What was your spiritual experience of giving birth?
    at the time i dont think it was very spiritual but after giving birth i would just look at her and be like, "wow. this is the person who's been living inside of me! we made her," its pretty cool.

    3. If you could do it over again, what would you do the same?
    i would continue to ignore all the negative things other mothers tell 1st time moms. i ignored all the "enjoy youre sleep because youre never going to get it again" or "youll never have another free moment for the rest of your life" type comments. i think people who make parenting out to be an awful negative experience have issues.

    4. Is there anything you would do differently?
    not worry so much about the pain of childbirth.

    5. What do you wish you had known beforehand?
    how much i could love a little person who just eats sleeps and poops! also if i would have known i didnt want to share her with her dad (i want to hold her all the time!) then i could come up with better excuses on why he should let me hold her instead of him. :wink:

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