My mom hates my CG look

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Comments

  • FeedYourHeadFeedYourHead Posts: 248Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I wouldn't say Mom HATES my CG hair--but, her idea of proper hair care for a curly girl isn't exactly the same as mine :wink:

    She refers to my CG hair as "dreadlocks," even though they're not, because I don't brush or blow-dry them. (FWIW, she is a 1a, and was a hairdresser in the 1960's. Yes, the decade where curly girls laid their hair out on an ironing board and literally ironed it straight!)

    If she knew I wasn't shampooing at all anymore, she'd probably die of embarrassment! (If she didn't keel over from heart failure first....)
    Name: FeedYourHead's Hair

    Description: 3A/3B/2C in the back, Botticelli, medium, thick, low porosity, modified CG since 2008

    Likes: Shea Moisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil sulfate-free shampoo; Curls Coconut Curlada conditioner; KCKT; LA Looks Extreme Sport Gel; coconut oil; honey; banana hair masks
    Dislikes: Silicones (:thumbdown:), Hairbrushes (:eek:) and harsh detergents (:protest:)
  • curlywurly271curlywurly271 Posts: 286Registered Users
    My mum hates my CG hair too. She says it looks dirty and that it resembles a rat's nest. She's always trying to convince me to "wash" my hair. I swear she would think it looks great if I hadn't told her about not shampooing anymore. I've even shown her pics of my frizzy, parched looking hair before CG and she said "Well at least it looks clean." :angryfire::banghead::cussing::angry5:
    I swear when I get hold of the Curly Girl book I'm going to strap her to a chair and force her to read it!
    UK curly :occasion8:


    event.png
  • LadyHesseLadyHesse Posts: 16Registered Users
    Gosh, this thread is LONG!

    My mom would probably look at me oddly if I told her I stopped using shampoo (which I don't plan to tell her.) But she has always been neutral - to - supportive of my hair choices.
    When I was a kid, the poor woman just didn't know what to do with my hair... she brushed it all out every morning. Not because she didn't like my curly hair, but just because it never crossed her mind NOT to brush a child's hair. (My mom has very short, very thin, very straight hair.)

    In fact, my mother admired curly people so much that she used to brush my hair out, and then put it in pin curls, which I had to sleep on, to make it curly. That seems so ridiculous to me now!

    My mom grew up in the hippie days and used to straighten her waist-length hair with an clothes iron, so when I straightened my hair, she couldn't really say anything. When I told her I gave my hairbrush to my college roommate a few years ago, she raised one eyebrow but said nothing.
    Now that I actually mastered my hair (pre CG my hair mostly looked alright, even with sulfate shampooing, etc.) she makes no negative comments about the fact that I don't own a hair brush.
  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Reading this thread has been cathartic for me. My mother was out of the picture from about my fifth year, and I always felt that because SHE wasn't there to stop it from happening, I lost my long red curls at the hands of a mean nanny.

    Now I'm thinking, who knows what would happened if she had been in the picture? I think I idealize the childhoods ---hell--- the whole lives of women with mothers. Guess I've been kidding myself!:oops:
  • ArtemidaArtemida Posts: 48Registered Users
    My mom first destroyed my sisters hair. She had beautiful 3c hair that was to the middle of her back. She relaxed it, and by the time she was 20 she looked like she was going bald.

    So when I became 12, she gave me my first relaxer (I am 3a/b w/ c mixed in). I had waist-length hair that everyone envied. Sure enough after 6 years of that, my hair was broken to the middle of my back and damaged beyond repair.

    I just started CG and my mom hasn't seen me yet as she lives away from me. I have told her what I've been doing and she totally doesn't approve. Especially me cutting my hair to shoulder-length. My grandma and boyfriend on the other hand are extremely proud of me for finally embracing my natural curls. :toothy7:
    Type: Very Soft 3b w/ 3a/3c thrown in
    CG: May 18, 2008
    Natural: Oct 2007

    Products:
    Qhemet's O&H
    Giovanni SS & TT
    NG
    Flaxseed Gel!
    Honey
    Henna
    Fenugreek
    Mango

    Banned: Suave, VO5, Excessive Oils
  • michikobmichikob Posts: 118Registered Users
    When I was little all my mom did was wash my hair and then braid it up lol =D
    Trying to get my coarse hair straight was hard-especially on my poor head =/
    But anyway, I think moms are stuck in the old-fashion. Everyone 'back in the day' had to be PERFECT. In the 2000's everyone wants to be original like it's the new trend =]
    Maybe one day I can be natural like you guys;; I love your courage =D
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    ^That was when I didn't have a relaxer for about a year and some months.
    current relaxer
    Natural: 4b
    =D
  • th1th1 Posts: 98Registered Users
    [elaborating on my earlier comments in this same thread]

    That is so nice that you have support from your grandma and boyfriend.

    I know what you went through with the relaxers.

    My mom put Ultra Sheen with lye on my head from the early 1960s onward. I remember one day she left it on too long and I had scabs on my scalp afterwards.

    Did that stop her, no, because it was a vicious cycle. When my new growth came out, I had waves (i.e. suppressed curls) at the roots. One day I asked her why my hair grew out with waves. She never really answered that question, but I knew it meant that it was time to get another touch up.

    I know that beauticians said that my hair did not need pressing, so I'm sure that is why she never took me to get that done. In fact, I never saw her doing her hair at home, she wore wigs most that I can recall.

    In high school (1972) I started to wear a 'natural' (afro), and it never really had the body that it needed to stay up. On the other hand, it wasn't curly because I was "combing it out" with a pick, and did not know about CG back then. LOL!

    After high school, I went back to relaxing my hair again.

    It wasn't until 2003 that I decided that I didn't want to put relaxers on my hair anymore. In the summer, I found NC.com and started the CG method, but always pulled my hair back into a ponytail. Soon I got very bored with this one hairstyle.

    I started to blow dry it; use a curling iron; or roll it and sit under the hair dryer.

    Then, this year I got a flat iron and it works pretty well, but I'm finding that the longer my hair gets, even that is a chore to do.

    I don't what to cut my hair, so now I'm back to trying the CG method. I have the length to hope that it has the weight to hang down.

    Learning to bond with my natural hair has been an experience. Finding the right products has been $$$.

    All in all, I want it to look healthy and good. I don't want to fight with my hair, but love it the way it is.

    ===========================
    Artemida wrote: »
    My mom first destroyed my sisters hair. She had beautiful 3c hair that was to the middle of her back. She relaxed it, and by the time she was 20 she looked like she was going bald.

    So when I became 12, she gave me my first relaxer (I am 3a/b w/ c mixed in). I had waist-length hair that everyone envied. Sure enough after 6 years of that, my hair was broken to the middle of my back and damaged beyond repair.

    I just started CG and my mom hasn't seen me yet as she lives away from me. I have told her what I've been doing and she totally doesn't approve. Especially me cutting my hair to shoulder-length. My grandma and boyfriend on the other hand are extremely proud of me for finally embracing my natural curls. :toothy7:
    3B.5

    Leave In: (currently) Tresemme Moisturizer Conditioner with Vitamin E

    FOTKI Photo Album:
    http://public.fotki.com/tatcat/
  • ArtemidaArtemida Posts: 48Registered Users
    th1 wrote: »
    [elaborating on my earlier comments in this same thread]

    That is so nice that you have support from your grandma and boyfriend.

    I know what you went through with the relaxers.

    My mom put Ultra Sheen with lye on my head from the early 1960s onward. I remember one day she left it on too long and I had scabs on my scalp afterwards.

    Did that stop her, no, because it was a vicious cycle. When my new growth came out, I had waves (i.e. suppressed curls) at the roots. One day I asked her why my hair grew out with waves. She never really answered that question, but I knew it meant that it was time to get another touch up.

    I know that beauticians said that my hair did not need pressing, so I'm sure that is why she never took me to get that done. In fact, I never saw her doing her hair at home, she wore wigs most that I can recall.

    In high school (1972) I started to wear a 'natural' (afro), and it never really had the body that it needed to stay up. On the other hand, it wasn't curly because I was "combing it out" with a pick, and did not know about CG back then. LOL!

    After high school, I went back to relaxing my hair again.

    It wasn't until 2003 that I decided that I didn't want to put relaxers on my hair anymore. In the summer, I found NC.com and started the CG method, but always pulled my hair back into a ponytail. Soon I got very bored with this one hairstyle.

    I started to blow dry it; use a curling iron; or roll it and sit under the hair dryer.

    Then, this year I got a flat iron and it works pretty well, but I'm finding that the longer my hair gets, even that is a chore to do.

    I don't what to cut my hair, so now I'm back to trying the CG method. I have the length to hope that it has the weight to hang down.

    Learning to bond with my natural hair has been an experience. Finding the right products has been $$$.

    All in all, I want it to look healthy and good. I don't want to fight with my hair, but love it the way it is.

    ===========================

    I agree. I don't want to fight my hair either. Your hair looks gorgeous.

    I feel so bad for my older sister, she used to have so much hair and because of my mom, and her not knowing how to take care of it, plus the hormones she had to go on...she has all these bald spots. :( I need to e-mail her to get her on this site.
    Type: Very Soft 3b w/ 3a/3c thrown in
    CG: May 18, 2008
    Natural: Oct 2007

    Products:
    Qhemet's O&H
    Giovanni SS & TT
    NG
    Flaxseed Gel!
    Honey
    Henna
    Fenugreek
    Mango

    Banned: Suave, VO5, Excessive Oils
  • lebanesecurlylebanesecurly Posts: 161Registered Users
    My mom keeps trying to get me to get a bob too! Well, I actually had one a couple years ago. And I admit, it did look good, but i had to straighten it EVERY day! It was so annoying! She just doesn't see that that isn't practical for me anymore...*sigh*
    claiming a 2c/3aMiii
    growing my hair out to BSL
    & mod-CG as of 9/1/08 :blob5:
    Low-poo: VitaminShampoo pomegranate+blackberry
    'Poo to clarify: BTZ Noodlehead
    Condish: GVP Conditioning Balm
    Stylers: LOOB! GVP Detangler, HESMU
    Put away for winter: PMRT, TW, LVPNG

    On the rare occasion that I straighten: leave-in V05 vanilla mint, 3-in-1, and Tizz no Frizz
    Pineapples, clips, diffusers, and paper towels are my hair's best friends.
    .I'm a PJ.

  • Melanie_LinnMelanie_Linn Posts: 457Registered Users
    Thank every thing thats good that my mom doesn't mind my hair routine! She does wish i would shampoo though.
    3c/4aMCiii normal/low porosity med elasticty

    Shampoo- JC Hydrating Invigorating poo, Alaffia Shea & Virgin Coconut Enriching Shampoo, CV poo bars
    Rinse out- Natures gate hemp, GSAS
    Leave in- GDLI, Beautiful Curls Curl Activating Leave in
    DT- Still working on that
    Styler- Ecostyler Crystal, Queen Helene Royal Curl Creme
    Sealer- castor, Shea butter,jojoba oil

    I don't know how well I'll keep it up, my blog The Lions Mane
  • susancnwsusancnw Posts: 1,374Registered Users Curl Novice
    I'm not sure if my mom knows that I don't use shampoo...but I don't think she'd care...I called her the other day and she was using Listerine on hers...I think...flushing the candida out of her system....I mentioned that I had used backing soda that day.

    Mom likes my hair long and curly...both my sisters still claim that it is frizzy, but I've not seen them in 5 years...just sent pics and we all know how hard it is to take good hair pics of ourselves.

    Did have my youngest take a pic of it for me a week or so ago...oldest wanted to know why it was so gray...not gray...she needed to enlarge the pic.
    My son wears combat boots (and a parachute). So does my son-in-law.
    The older I get, the less patience I have with cleverness. Thomas Sowell.
    Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve. Benjamin Franklin.
    Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. Mark Twain.

    s-event.png

  • smo6767smo6767 Posts: 409Registered Users
    I'm trying to grow my hair out really long, like just above my hips. It's not my mom who said something, but my dad! He said I shouldn't grow it out because it would be way to hard to manage. I'm still growing it out though, because I want my curls to be weighed down and loosened a bit more.:tongue5::angry7:
    ICONATOR_bb56511c0b5e53f5d21289611d11a822.gif
  • lironliron Posts: 22Registered Users
    I think my mom prefers my hair straight (like hers) but she has never come out and said so. When I blow out my hair she tells me how "put together" I look. When I wear it curly she'll say stuff like "you always were your own person" or what ever. She says she doesn't like my curly hair because it's weighed down looking. But anytime it's puffy and more fro like, oddly enough she'll be like ooooooooooh your hair looks cute today! Mothers, I can't win.
  • SoftballT3SoftballT3 Posts: 15Registered Users
    my mum is not like that but my grandma!!! she hates when i strighten my hair and i just got it cut with a side swept bang and she is like "why in the world would they give you a bang!!!" She said "it's gonna take forever for you to grow it out" i said "well maybe i can make it look good" she was like "good luck" i am sooo close to my grandma and it hurts when she doesn't like something about me so.... ya i can totally relate
    LiFe Is A gIfT dOn'T wAsTe It On StUpId ThInGs Or YoU wIlL rEgReT iT:icescream:

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