hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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  • NaturalRemedyNaturalRemedy Posts: 371Registered Users
    Kind of gross...but I was watching some dating show and as soon as the guy saw the first girl he was going to have to date he said her beautiful head of short red curls looked like red pubic hair (sorry for the vulgar statement)... but omg that tore me up. :? :evil: :evil:
    Mostly 3c and lovin' my curls

    This is not a fashion trend, it's not a statement, it's pride for who we are and what we look like. And that is where our true beauty shines.


    http://public.fotki.com/cocoalily/
  • NaturalRemedyNaturalRemedy Posts: 371Registered Users
    well i know exactly where everyone is comming from. I too have had my share of insults about my hair, many of the same things everyone else was called. But what gets to me is my most recent one. well about 4 months ago, a coworker saw a pic of me in my natural curls, which was a first since i used to always wear it straight. after looking at the pic and making a face, she said,

    "OMG, Don't ever wear your hair like that, You look like a dirty wet mexican! I don't like that at all!"

    I was shocked that she would say such harsh words, i was hurt, upset, and humiliated. The day that pic was taken, i was happy about what my hair looked like, but after her comment... well I wore my hair straight for months afterward. Recently i've decided to cherish what God gave me.

    She saw me today with the same hairstyle after all this time and guess what. She proceeded to say the same thing!! -she said
    "What did I tell you about that! you got that dirty wet mexican look again, don't wear it like that."
    I was furious. This happened after a bunch of my other co workers gave me positive comments. So she just really tried to rain on my parade.... I basically told her "this is the way God made me, I was born this way and if you don't like it, then don't look at it." And that she don't have to say such mean things like that. ....
    you know i really wanted to just throw really big rocks at her for saying that...
    anyway sorry for venting so much...
    people really just need to stop being so closeminded and accept people the way they are.


    UGh! if you could see the digust on my face right now... I HATE when people tell me to striaghten my hair! WTH do they know!?

    :x
    Mostly 3c and lovin' my curls

    This is not a fashion trend, it's not a statement, it's pride for who we are and what we look like. And that is where our true beauty shines.


    http://public.fotki.com/cocoalily/
  • sadtomatosadtomato Posts: 11Registered Users
    "poodle head" came up recently on another board :roll:
    Grown women too. I left.
  • one way streetone way street Posts: 772Registered Users
    You look like a dirty wet mexican! I don't like that at all!


    are you kidding me! that's not only mean, but racist too! how exactly is a "dirty wet mexican" suppose to look like anyway!!??
    mod. CG 2C-3A/M/iii
    Fotki album and journal updated: 10/01/07
    password: springlet

    Currently: Trying to stop straightening so much. Using Elucence conditioner and whatever works for me.
  • dumplings_of_doomdumplings_of_doom Posts: 65Registered Users
    Actually, for me it was the exact opposite. When my mom got my hair permed when I was 11 because she didn't know how to control it, it always looked messy, fuzzy, and boring. Now ever since a few weeks ago when I went curly, people keep telling me how pretty my hair is.
    I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
  • threequarterscurlythreequarterscurly Posts: 24Registered Users
    One time last year in grade 7, I was standing in line in front of this girl, and she's like, whoa, look at Laura, she's got frizzy hair and grocery bags! (Keep in mind that at this time I was drowning myself in silicones and brushing my hair so there was not a lot of noticable curl, but tons of frizz) I tried to ignore her but it hurt...I didn't know how to control my hair at the time, and bags run in the family...
    Not sure what type of hair I have, but it's curly!
  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Posts: 15,402Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    [quote=CurlyBlasian OMG, Don't ever wear your hair like that, You look like a dirty wet mexican! I don't like that at all!"
    I basically told her "this is the way God made me, I was born this way and if you don't like it, then don't look at it." And that she don't have to say such mean things like that. ....
    you know i really wanted to just throw really big rocks at her for saying that...
    [/quote]

    If she is a co-worker and made that remark to you at work, you have every right to lodge a complaint with Human Resources. That remark is not just vicious, racist and mean; it is a serious HR violation. :x
    My blog - http://suburbanbushbabe.wordpress.com/
    My FOTKI - http://whatsnew.fotki.com/suburbanbushbabe/
    comic-p.jpg

    Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
    Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Posts: 15,402Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I have a Teflon personality and I'm old enought to have forgotten most of the insulting remarks :lol: Also, not too many people could top my father for hateful personal attacks so I learned to block them out.

    The past few years, the remarks that stand out are from total strangers come up to me and tell me they love my hair or my hair is beautiful. It's happened like 5 times. Almost all have been men (all quite younger than me :roll: ) and they were black. Yes, there are black men out there who love natural black 3c/4a/4b ++++ hair.

    I feel as though God is compensating me for putting up with a parent who absorbed so much cultural hatred and laid it down on his womenfolk. Now, if only one of these age-inappropriate men would ask me out, please?

    The remarks that tend to stick are about my skin (I'm sort of frappucino with freckles) From the time Mrs. Connolly my new 3rd grade teacher, inspected my hands and told me to wash the dirt off my knuckles to people who ask me if I hurt my elbow. My elbows are dark and below one of them is a dark, rough patch of thickened skin. In the scheme of things going on in the world today, who frikkin cares :x It's amazing what people notice about other people!
    My blog - http://suburbanbushbabe.wordpress.com/
    My FOTKI - http://whatsnew.fotki.com/suburbanbushbabe/
    comic-p.jpg

    Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
    Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
  • EvieEvie Posts: 13Registered Users
    I've only had one bad comment on my hair, it was when I decided to straighten it one day to see what it looked like. I only got wavy/curly hair when I cut it from being past my bum to just below my shoulders, as so much weight was taken off it it curled. This was exactly what I hoped for, so I loved it.

    Anyway, I walked into school and my friend Hannah came up to me and said 'Oh my GOD! You're hair looks gorgeous! So much better than normal, you should SO wear it like that every day.'

    It really annoyed me, because she of course had the straightest, shinest, most smooth hair possible, and it felt so horrible straightining the wave out of my hair it was sad that someone thought it looked better that way. I am pleased to say I haven't straightened it again! :D
    Hair type- 2c/3a

    "You are who you are. You can't change that. Just go out and be it." - Evangeline Lilly
  • wild_sasparillawild_sasparilla Posts: 4,306Registered Users
    ,
    OMG, LOOK!!

    ...It's a siggie. :shock:
  • chatterbox01chatterbox01 Posts: 77Registered Users
    actually i havent had anybody make fun of my hair. i went to camp just 2 weeks ago and everybody was saying how they loved it. and everybody at my schools known me for so long so theyre all used to it
    please dont break my argyle heart.x.taryn obsessed with argyle--ispendallmytimethinkingabouti:lets get these teen hearts beating faster faster;we all have our dirty little secrets that no one knows..
  • MomoChanMomoChan Posts: 16Registered Users
    (1.) When I first cut off my straightened hair, I two-strand twisted my hair and went to school. This boy that I couldn't stand (we'd always ARGUE about everything) picked an argument with me, and I said something and the only thing he could retort with was something about me having sh*t locks. I know it was just ignorant and he was mad that he couldn't come back with anything else, but here I was thinking I looked great and everything and then someone said my hair looked like sh*t. :evil:

    And then there are things that aren't hurtful, but just piss me off to no end:

    -I HATE when people see me in the bathroom doing my hair and they're like, "So, how do you DO that?" And I just stare at them. I try to be nice but I get so much of it...like, I'm an Alien who just cause my hair is reall thick/curly it's like, some secret to "DOING" it. I'm usually say, "Well, I wash and condition it and put gel." And then they stare at me waiting for me to continue :roll:
    -This girl and I were hanging out once and I said I had to go wash my hair. And she was like, "You WASH your 'fro!?" And I said yeah. "How can you WASH your 'fro!?" "It's my HAIR. Do you wash your hair?" I told her.
    -I HATE when people make dumb comments like, "Does it keep you warm in the winter?" "You probably don't even need a pillow."
    -Or when they stick pens or something in it and I can't feel it. And then they tell me and think it's the funniest thing in the world.

    ARGH!!! People are so ignorant of other people's differences. :cry:
    MomoChan <3

    Crazy mix of 3b/3c/4a, xtra thick hair. Shoulder length (when wet...hehe!)
  • redcelticcurlsredcelticcurls Posts: 17,502Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    cross post from a thread about rude retail employees, but it fits here too...

    After work on Sunday, S/O and I went to a local gas station to fill up. They happen to make subs/sandwiches and whatnot there. S/O ordered hot dogs and I ordered a roast beef croissant. There were two ladies working, and one was obviously bitter about working on Christmas Eve. While I was sympathetic to an extent (I worked too after all), I didn't think that her grumbling would make her shift go any faster.

    Anyway, the Bitter Lady makes S/O's first hot dog. Then she makes a second and proceeds to eat it herself. She kept saying "I'm hooongry". Well, OK....

    The other lady working with her asked if she had started on my sandwich. Bitter lady said: "Who, nappyhead?" My eyes bugged out, S/O's eyes bugged out, and Nice Lady's eyes bugged out. Nice lady then makes S/O's other hot dog and my sandwich. We left and I spent 20 minutes being mad at myself for wishing that I had straight hair.
    I don't why I let a comment bother me from a lady who was mad about working a holiday (because that's not all that unusual) and whose hair was relaxed to almost oblivion.
    Kiva! Microfinance works.

    Med/Coarse, porous curly.
  • curlee4lifecurlee4life Posts: 219Registered Users
    cross post from a thread about rude retail employees, but it fits here too...

    After work on Sunday, S/O and I went to a local gas station to fill up. They happen to make subs/sandwiches and whatnot there. S/O ordered hot dogs and I ordered a roast beef croissant. There were two ladies working, and one was obviously bitter about working on Christmas Eve. While I was sympathetic to an extent (I worked too after all), I didn't think that her grumbling would make her shift go any faster.

    Anyway, the Bitter Lady makes S/O's first hot dog. Then she makes a second and proceeds to eat it herself. She kept saying "I'm hooongry". Well, OK....

    The other lady working with her asked if she had started on my sandwich. Bitter lady said: "Who, nappyhead?" My eyes bugged out, S/O's eyes bugged out, and Nice Lady's eyes bugged out. Nice lady then makes S/O's other hot dog and my sandwich. We left and I spent 20 minutes being mad at myself for wishing that I had straight hair.
    I don't why I let a comment bother me from a lady who was mad about working a holiday (because that's not all that unusual) and whose hair was relaxed to almost oblivion.

    So sorry that such a thing happened...that woman was just ignorant and rude!!!

    event.png

    Germany Curly

    Last Relaxer(Texturizer): Aug. 2005
    BC: May 2006

  • odd-x-soxodd-x-sox Posts: 5Registered Users
    MomoChan wrote:
    -I HATE when people make dumb comments like, "Does it keep you warm in the winter?" "You probably don't even need a pillow."
    -Or when they stick pens or something in it and I can't feel it. And then they tell me and think it's the funniest thing in the world.

    That really is annoying the whole pillow thing, I used to get all sorts said to me particulary in like years 7-9, people used to always ask me why is your hair like that? And why don't you straighten it,people used to always ask me that but in the past year they've stopped maybe because I'm not going to straighten it for them
  • coco77coco77 Posts: 9Registered Users
    I used to be called fuzzy wuzzy, tumbleweed, black bush, and my hair was once compared to black sheep wool. This was all in elementary school and my mother (she is mexican and had loose waxy hair) didn't know what to do with my thick 3c/4a bi-racial hair, and she would brush it into this long frizzy mess and lather it with leave-in conditioner. The funny thing is is that I really loved my hair and thought it looked nice. And when people called me those names or came up to "see how it felt" I just shrugged them off and mistook them as compliments. In all honesty, I don't think I cared what people thought about my hair and people started picking up on it. By the end of 2nd grade people liked my long frizzy hair and I even had a "boyfriend" who complimented it and gave me presents :lol:

    I really wish I had carried that attitude with me though
  • TexaskurlTexaskurl Posts: 124Registered Users
    a lot of ppl have always made mean comments about my hair, telling me to straighten it. i used to h8t my hair because of their suggestions. but now i luv my curls. they make me feel unique and beautiful. i've realized that all the ppl that bash curly heads usually have flat boring straight hair. curly hair is the best thing a girl could have and i'm feel lucky that i'm one of those girls!=)
    fine hair, not sure of porosity.
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  • CeliaUhpteitCeliaUhpteit Posts: 2Registered Users
    I hear you! I try not to remember what people actually say, but the laughs, taunts and abuse I've gotten have always hurt, even though I've come to love my hair - finally. But the worst one I do remember was from a legless drunk old whore (literally, she was an aged prostitute) on the street who had the audacity - from under smeared make-up and a mass of died black frizz on her hear - to say 'What did you do?' I screamed 'What?!' And she just said 'That hair!' I was livid!!!!
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    deleted
  • wild_sasparillawild_sasparilla Posts: 4,306Registered Users
    Deleted, as per request.
    OMG, LOOK!!

    ...It's a siggie. :shock:
  • RheannaRheanna Posts: 2,614Registered Users
    I've gotten all the generic things in my time too - poodle, Curly Sue, tumbleweed, etc. This was all when I was younger. By high school, I'd learned to tame my hair, and most people had matured to the point that they didn't say hurtful things so much (MOST, not all.)

    NOW, the only negative comments I hear are from curlies! The ones who have no clue how to make their hair look good, but straighten everyday and seem to think I should do the same.
    DPTFm5.png
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    Well, isn't this a fine greeting committee responding to my first post to the site?

    Actually, EVERY version of the myth of Medusa is in line with my position. Wild_sasparilla's version is correct some of the time, but only if you stop reading the myth halfway through.

    Medusa was either born a monstrous gorgon or turned into one out of jealousy. Either way, the crux of the story is that Medusa and her horrific hair of snakes are so ugly and terrifying that if someone were to look her in the eye he would turn to stone.

    If you have really curly hair your whole life, not just wavy, you inadvertantly become familiar with the whole myth, because it is a convenient name to use.

    This thread was about the op talking about lame, judgmental things that people have said to her because of her curyly hair, and follow-up posts commiserating in support with their own experiences. It is rather unbelieveable that someone reading this thread would take it upon herself to reinterpret a personal experience that I had, about which she only knows two sentences, and tells me that not only am I wrong, but then takes a personal dig at me as well.

    wild_sasparilla, I've read your other posts on this thread too, and you seem like a self-important keystone cop challenging what everyone is saying. Go to a different thread or sit on your hands, please, or catch up on your reading. You have completely taken away the joy and excitement that I had for this site.

    Well, it was nice for the first six hours anyway.
  • wild_sasparillawild_sasparilla Posts: 4,306Registered Users
    I sincerely apologize for hurting your feelings, 1vox. I hadn't realized I had that sort of tone.
    OMG, LOOK!!

    ...It's a siggie. :shock:
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    I don't buy it, keystone cop. Here's why. After I read your first response, instead of having a flame war, I descretely sent you a private message asking you to delete my id name and the cut-n-paste copy of my initial post from your message. I also deleted my post and was going to withdraw my membership and move on to greener pastures.

    I just felt that I didn't want to be a member of a site where some troll makes sport calling members on the carpet, especially on a thread where the entire point is about talking about hurtful digs. Free time is too short.

    You seemed to refuse that request because I never heard from you and you never complied.

    Then I read above where you were patrolling and chastising another poster for possibly using someone's real name. Pretending like discretion is very important to you--not that you have the first clue about whether she did or didn't use a fake name, would need to, or would want to.

    So since you refuse to delete my message, which I now regret sharing, notwithstanding pretending that discretion is more important than the substance of anything a person has to say, I just don't believe your apology.
  • wild_sasparillawild_sasparilla Posts: 4,306Registered Users
    1vox wrote:
    I don't buy it, keystone cop. Here's why. After I read your first response, instead of having a flame war, I descretely sent you a private message asking you to delete my id name and the cut-n-paste copy of my initial post from your message. I also deleted my post and was going to withdraw my membership and move on to greener pastures.

    I just felt that I didn't want to be a member of a site where some troll makes sport calling members on the carpet, especially on a thread where the entire point is about talking about hurtful digs. Free time is too short.

    You seemed to refuse that request because I never heard from you and you never complied.

    Then I read above where you were patrolling and chastising another poster for possibly using someone's real name. Pretending like discretion is very important to you--not that you have the first clue about whether she did or didn't use a fake name, would need to, or would want to.

    So since you refuse to delete my message, which I now regret sharing, notwithstanding pretending that discretion is more important than the substance of anything a person has to say, I just don't believe your apology.

    The post you're talking about was my friend's name. I thought I'd posted on here about her. Maybe not, since you apparently did your research. I used the smiley evil face, too, as it was a joke. Nothing to do with discretion. Also apparently I'm a troll like many others apparently are on this site, at least as others say. I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't mean to be inflammatory - I guess my message(s) came out wrong. Please don't feel you have to go somewhere else, I certainly won't bother you. And I don't usually look for PMs since I haven't asked for any and am not an expert, and those are the only reasons I would think to check for one. I will now read the PM. In short order, your requests will be complied with. I'm sorry I didn't get to it fast enough and I'm sorry I made you so mad.
    OMG, LOOK!!

    ...It's a siggie. :shock:
  • zeldagoblinzeldagoblin Posts: 575Registered Users
    Hey Guys...

    I don't know if this post is sort of fizzled out, but I had to add my 2p.

    When I was very small, my hair wasn't curly, it was thick, shiny and wavy. All my mums friends called me Liz Taylor! I loved that!!

    But as I grew my hair got curly like Shirley! And when I got to 8 years old, the "fun started". We had, "bushbag", "fuzzball", "microphone head", "frizzy Lizzy".......

    The worst time was when I was 13, in a new school having lunch. 4 older girls were sitting on the next table cackling. After a while I sussed that it was ME they were giggling about. Then one loudly said, "look at her, she's like a WITCH!", met with peals of laughter...

    Then one time, at the same school, a boy chased after me as I walked home, stopped me, out of breath, and said, "I just wanted to tell you, you are the ugliest bas**** I have EVER seen!" He RAN to tell me this important news!!!

    Of course, these people are shallow, and generally rubbish, but things like that stay with you!

    I would go nuts if either of my kids said mean things like that, who raises these horrible kids????

    Liz x
    Here are my curly pics, password is fuzz

    http://public.fotki.com/zeldagoblin/

    But then again, too few to mention...
  • jaxjax Posts: 24Registered Users
    In junior high, a girl came up behind me as I sat on the bus, pretending to lean over me to look out the window. Then she ran back to her seat and giggled with her friends.

    hours and hours later I found the gum she'd stuck deep in my hair. My mom had to cut it out.
  • echokittenechokitten Posts: 1,751Registered Users
    When we were little kids, my younger sis(also a cg) used to call our mom the "steamroller". Mom had super straight hair, so she didn't understand how terribly painful hairbrushing could be. She used to brush our spiral locks out before every shampoo. YOUCH. After years of short hair and being told by a boy that I had a crush on that I looked like a boy with an afro, I decided in 8th grade I was never going to get another haircut EVER. But it wasn't soon enough... Pretty terrible and embarrasing to go thru your freshman year in HS looking like a boy. Especially during the '80s where long straight feathered hair RULED. Top that off with a fresh set of braces and a case of acne and there is a recipe for disaster.
    I really cannot pick out any particularly aweful comments butI guess over the years I have heard the ubquitous comments here and there...
    "It would be pretty if it were straight..."
    "Do you want me to straighten it for you?" ( at the salon)
    "I'm just gonna blow it out a little, it'll look better" ( at the salon)
    "You DON"T wash your hair EVERY day?????" (friend)(salon)
    You only wash your hair 2 times a week, gross" ( former aquaint)
    "That stuff is for ETHNIC hair why do you use it?" (nosy straight haired lady at Walmart looking right at my dry frizzy summer hair)

    Now I know better, I usually find that people that comment or stare are thoroughly ignorant about what is going on around them outside their own personal rut that they have dug themselves into.
    It is just comforting to me that there is a whole crop of curlies that are REALLY sick and tired of being on the outside of what is considered pretty. And I have found that most of us are just like our hair... stubborn , unruly and have a serious problem with people telling us our hair should be straight.
    Cincinnati Ohio>>>Coarse protein sensitive 3a, Jessicurl WDT as a leave in, Biotera gel, White Boots, PW= coffeecurls

    "Man tries to exaggerate what nature has given him," Charles Darwin (1809-1882).

    "Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful." -Sophia Loren
  • Botticelli VenusBotticelli Venus Posts: 109Registered Users
    That gum story is truly mean! BTW I discovered years later that peanut butter makes gum roll into little balls and roll right off of your hair.
    Julie Benz: "I really loved on Angel when we would do the flashbacks and I'd have the big, wild, messy long hair that was thick and full and that's how God meant for me to look."
  • XanaXana Posts: 3Registered Users
    I've heard so many of these comments about my own hair that it's so nice to know I am not alone. :)

    The two comments I have gotten that have always stood out to me are:

    "You have a 'fro!" (Which is always said in a mocking or teasing or disgusted tone.) <--I am Caucasian, and I think the tone in which my Caucasian friends said "afro" speaks to their ignorance about other types of hair and different cultures.

    "You look like a Cocker Spaniel. Your hair looks like the ears." <--This one has always stuck with me. That this person thought my hair made me resemble a dog. :evil: People's cruelty knows no bounds unfortunately.
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