hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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Comments

  • ZythiferZythifer Posts: 1Registered Users
    Being a male with naturally curly hair the social stigma has always been a huge weight on my shoulders. Granted now that it's long enough to fit into a pony tail things are not quite so bad, but throughout elementary/middle school I had **** shoveled in my face on a daily basis. One that stands out in my mind quite clearly would be during science class in seventh grade, I was commissioned by my teacher to carry a load of microscopes down to the 8th grade teacher's science room. I was simply going to slip through his door, drop the items off, and leave. But of course it couldn't be that simple, the teacher actually interrupted his class to ask, aloud, 'Is your hair permed?' (I was one of only a few boys with curly hair in the entire district, mine being slightly more noticable than theirs anyhow). Now I suffer from social anxiety and am generally shy and easily intimidated, and this 8th grade class was a group of people that stood out as being particularly mean and intimidating regardless, so all of those things in conjunction really made me want to crawl into a hole and die. I know that story may not exactly sound terrible now, but in the moment it had a profound effect on me then.
  • DolphinCurlsDolphinCurls Posts: 370Registered Users
    Zythifer wrote:
    Being a male with naturally curly hair the social stigma has always been a huge weight on my shoulders. Granted now that it's long enough to fit into a pony tail things are not quite so bad, but throughout elementary/middle school I had &%$@#! shoveled in my face on a daily basis. One that stands out in my mind quite clearly would be during science class in seventh grade, I was commissioned by my teacher to carry a load of microscopes down to the 8th grade teacher's science room. I was simply going to slip through his door, drop the items off, and leave. But of course it couldn't be that simple, the teacher actually interrupted his class to ask, aloud, 'Is your hair permed?' (I was one of only a few boys with curly hair in the entire district, mine being slightly more noticable than theirs anyhow). Now I suffer from social anxiety and am generally shy and easily intimidated, and this 8th grade class was a group of people that stood out as being particularly mean and intimidating regardless, so all of those things in conjunction really made me want to crawl into a hole and die. I know that story may not exactly sound terrible now, but in the moment it had a profound effect on me then.


    That's awful! :evil:


    Guys with curly hair look hot! :D
    3A/2C combination of ringlets and waves :nike:
  • tjcjlc99tjcjlc99 Posts: 24Registered Users
    the only comment that really sticks in my head is growing up, probably 5-6yo, my moms cousin, so my 2-3rd cousin gave me the nickname "brillo pad". my hair was always VERY short and dry and curly. to this day he will call me that. doesnt bother me nearly as much now though. at least one of us grew up(considering he is 50something). :roll:
    **Tiana**
    curlyhead 3b,3c AND 4a otherwise known as my big mess :)
  • imjustacurlimjustacurl Posts: 9Registered Users
    Zythifer, guys with curly hair are h-o-t-t, HOTT!!! two of my best friends guys have REALLY curly hair and they are amazingly attractive! both have straightened their hair before and it makes them lose their OMW!!! HE'S SO HOTT-ness...



    unfortunately, my bf has straight hair... maybe i should trade out for one of my friends...? lol


    --B.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,502Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    my grandma insists that i straighten it because i look to hispanic or greek with my curls... which hurts, bc i'm latina and adopted into a german family, so i already stand out...

    I cannot believe your grandmother said that! :x :( :evil:

  • nappymdnappymd Posts: 127Registered Users
    Comments in the Media about Lenny Kravitz's Hair
    Is it the long ones that looks like lasagna noodles that you roll into the little burrito deals, or the twisty stuff that looks like Lenny Kravitz's hair?

    Aside from Barbosa, forward Anderson Varejo, who has crazy Lenny Kravitz hair, and Tiago Spitter, who plays in Spain, are legitimate NBA prospects. ...

    Lenny Kravitz's hair looks HORRIBLE. What the hell was his stylist thinking?

    The idea still has more kinks in it than Lenny Kravitz's hair . . .

    Can we get a confirmation that they used Lenny Kravitz's hair stylist on Revenge Of The Sith?
    4b is me
  • curlee4lifecurlee4life Posts: 219Registered Users
    nappymd:

    Your hair is beautiful and you have such a pretty face (love the dimple!). In one of your pictures, you refer to "flexirods" - what are they, how do you use them and where did you purchase them?

    TIA!!!!

    alexta

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    Germany Curly

    Last Relaxer(Texturizer): Aug. 2005
    BC: May 2006

  • Gemini13Gemini13 Posts: 5,000Registered Users
    nappymd wrote:
    Comments in the Media about Lenny Kravitz's Hair
    Is it the long ones that looks like lasagna noodles that you roll into the little burrito deals, or the twisty stuff that looks like Lenny Kravitz's hair?

    Aside from Barbosa, forward Anderson Varejo, who has crazy Lenny Kravitz hair, and Tiago Spitter, who plays in Spain, are legitimate NBA prospects. ...

    Lenny Kravitz's hair looks HORRIBLE. What the hell was his stylist thinking?

    The idea still has more kinks in it than Lenny Kravitz's hair . . .

    Can we get a confirmation that they used Lenny Kravitz's hair stylist on Revenge Of The Sith?

    I find it really hard to believe that anyone with two functioning eyes in their head could find something bad to say about Lenny Kravitz's appearance. :wink:
    Brooklyn, NY

    Hair: 3A/B, Underlayer of 2B
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  • riproaringriproaring Posts: 1Registered Users
    i hear rude n sick n unwelcum coments abt ma hair daily
    sum of dem
    :evil: ms. noodle hair
    :evil: cant ur hair gat drier n frizzeir :?
    :evil: press it - straighten it - iron it :x
    :evil: inst d texture more like the sheep's wool :(
    :evil: too similar to texture of brooms( hate dis one max) :roll:
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • curlygemcurlygem Posts: 3Registered Users
    I had a TERRIBLE time at school. I remember so many occasions when I came home in tears from comments. I got called everything. I got 'frizz', 'frizzy', 'fuzz', 'buzz', 'fuzzy bear', 'big hair' and I regularly got called ugly with reference to my hair. I was constantly asked 'what did you do, put your finger in the socket?' I was shy and quiet so regularly got referred to as 'the one with the big hair.' I also remember being in a science class with boys behind me talking about cutting my hair off or burning it with the bunsen burners. And all the name calling has given me an actual physical reaction against frizz - ease! It came out when I was at school and people used to nastily yell at me 'get some frizz - ease'. Some girls tried to be genuinely nice and advised me to use it but I did try it and hated it! The serum hardly covered any part of my hair and all the products just made it feel horrible. I now can't bear the name because it just reminds me of being picked on at school. Some of my worst memories are:
    1.I can only have been about 12 at the most and I was walking along the road, probably from school and a young couple were behind me, probably in their late teens and the boy started making loud comments about my hair and how stupid I looked and laughing at me.
    2. Playing at the park near my house with my sister and a group of boys started making fun of me and calling me names because of my hair
    3. I was in a science class when I was about 15 and I had this awful, horrible science teacher and one lesson she came over to me and took a handful of my hair and flicked it and said 'I wanted curly hair, but not like YOURS, yours is just TOO MUCH.' This was in front of the whole class.
    It was only when I went to college at around 18 that suddenly people's attitude to my hair changed. I now only get compliments. I get angry when I see people I went to school with around where I live for how miserable they made me, but at least I can think of all the nice things people say now.
    Sorry for the length of my post, it just feels good to get this off my chest!!
  • curlygemcurlygem Posts: 3Registered Users
    Oh, I just remembered another one! When I was very little at primary school, my 'friends' all stopped talking to me for a day because I had curly hair and they all had straight hair!
  • ColochaColocha Posts: 344Registered Users
    curlygem wrote:
    It was only when I went to college at around 18 that suddenly people's attitude to my hair changed. I now only get compliments. I get angry when I see people I went to school with around where I live for how miserable they made me, but at least I can think of all the nice things people say now.

    Same thing here. I got a lot of rude comments and people making fun of my hair when I was in my school years. I started to get compliments about my hair when I attended college( 99% of the time! :wink: ) :D :D
    "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

    Hair type: 3b/c
  • curlykristincurlykristin Posts: 55Registered Users
    sigh...
    i hated school
    not only did i hate my hair but i was freakishly tall, reaching my current height of 6' in 8th grade. children are cruel cruel. Two things stand out most- although there were plenty more. In about 4th grade this nice girl started a rumor about me that i must have lice living in that nasty head of hair.
    Fast forward to 8th grade, this evil girl with beautiful straight hair that i hated and she hated me sat it front of me in class (unavoidable- alpahabetical seating) and would brush her hair all over my desk. One day I said "Stop brushing your hair on my desk" She said "well at least i brush mine- don't you think if you brushed yours it would help?" So I asked my friend "D", can i borrow your brush? and i brushed my hair in class. And then i said- "that was a good idea. I'm glad we met. I would have been lost without you." She was a horrible bully and she never bothered me again. When i think back i was probably the scaryist 8th grader at that school, . I was never a bully, but i never took crap from anyone. I would like to thank my hair for that. I like to think that it made me a bad a$$ at that age. Being 6' tall probably helped too :wink: Now, i don't even dignify a rude comment about my hair with a reply. Mostly though the older i get the more people like it. Especially older men! :D
    :sunny:3B- anywhere from sidewalk chalk to straw sized! Porous and fine.

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  • curlygemcurlygem Posts: 3Registered Users
    Isn't it funny how most of us were picked on when we were kids but as we get older we get compliments. It's odd because you'd think curly haired little girls and boys would be more cute and likeable! When I was a child and in my early teens the only people who liked my hair were the elderly and that doesn't help a teenager feel very cool. Boys especially laughed, but funnily as I get older, they are the ones who love my hair. When I went to college boys suddenly thought it was sexy! My boyfriend now loves my hair and when I straighten it once in a blue moon he says 'yeah, it's nice, but I love your curly hair'. I think he likes the novelty of the straight hair very occasional but is glad when it goes back to curly.
    By the way, how many people got picked on as children or teenagers and when they told their mum or other adults they just said 'ignore them, they're jealous.'? I used to hate being told that because I knew it wasn't true and for me it almost made it worse!
  • FloatyTheFishFloatyTheFish Posts: 136Registered Users
    For the past three summers I have had the same job. I wore my hair up everyday for every summer that I worked there except this summer. Yikes I know. However, this summer since I finally got used to wearing my hair down I wore my hair down for my first day at work. Well...lo and behold one of the guys I work with decided to give people nicknames that day. What was my nickname you ask? Carrot top...as in the scary comedian (I'm sorry but he just freaks me out) with the big, red, curly hair. Nevermind the fact that my hair isnt nearly as big as his and my hair is BROWN. :x

    Also when I was little my brothers told me that lice liked curly hair better. I really believed them too. Its funny because although one of them has straight hair, the other has curly hair....
    Hair Type: 3a/b/c
  • wild_sasparillawild_sasparilla Posts: 4,306Registered Users
    People are such losers...
    I can't tell you how many times I'll get people asking why I curl my hair!! Like straight hair is the only natural hairtype! I happen to know it will NEVER be natural for me.
    An asian friend of mine is always talking about how she couldn't stand to have such big, frizzy hair...invariably on the days when I have almost NO frizz, and ALL curl!
    What is it with people and that difference? One is pretty, one is not.
    OMG, LOOK!!

    ...It's a siggie. :shock:
  • SmarieSmarie Posts: 9Registered Users
    It seems to me that if you go by the all the old masterpiece paintings, curly hair was the ideal for beautiful hair for hundreds of years. I'll bet long, straight hair didn't become the standard until the hippie days of the 1960's and 70's. It's all relative. Just like once upon a time we were told that "gentlemen prefer blondes," but now a study showed that they prefer brunettes. It just keeps changing with the generations.

    Earlier this evening I saw a commercial for some new line of hair products that featured a very catty man making snide remarks in a voiceover while women walked down the street. This woman with gorgeous loose curls was accused of having "poofy hair," while another with straight hair was mocked for being flat. What the heck do they want? Oh, I know. They want to make everyone on the planet feel inferior so we'll all run to buy their products. I don't care if they've got the best products in the world. I'd never give them a thin dime after that mean-spirited, insulting, offensive commercial.

    Back to the topic. For me it wasn't what people said, it was who said it. The most hurtful comments were the ones that came (and still come) from my mother, simply because she is my mother. Never has she considered my hair beautiful, but more like something that needs to be fixed. From childhood it was "rat's nest" and comparisons to some character named "Witchy Poo" who must've been before my time. I spent most of my elementary school years with my hair in a thick, stiff ponytail braid.

    I know my mother loves me, but she's got a serious prejudice against tight curls. Hers is even curlier than mine, so every day since she was old enough she's been setting it on hot rollers in order to straighten it into waves that she then combs through...dry. She has also kept it short all her life because that was the standard of beauty for women back in the fifties and early sixties when she was a young woman. It's surprising for her when she now sees celebrities reaching their fifties and still keeping their hair long.
  • curlylittlemommycurlylittlemommy Posts: 16Registered Users
    I thought long and hard about this thread for a while, and came to a conclusion: It was never what a random passerby/stranger said to my hair that ever really bothered me. ...It was more what "friends" and close relatives would say.

    I have 3cish hair and am african american/native american background, with hair that was always considered by my friends and relatives to be "good" hair.

    But it has always been a MURDER to straighten. I mean, it looks so loose that hair stylists always think that it just needs "a light/kiddie relaxer" or "a little heat" to get it straight, when really it needs a LYE relaxer bordering on the COARSE side and/or extreme heat.

    But I always get fed "those lines" from one of my best friends that "all u have to do is <insert "simple" trick here such as flat ironing> to get your hair to be straight." When really, it would take hours upon hours of hot hot heat of flat ironing to get it straight EVERY DAY. So I would get a relaxer to make it easier to get it straight, and promptly get reprimanded by my ex best friend "girl, you did NOT NEED a relaxer! all u needed was to flat iron it every day!" "Girl you got that 'good' hair! you don't need to do all of that!" It was so annoying.

    And my mom always makes comments that my hair is so "good" that i "just don't know WHAT do to with it."

    It was my other friend (with stick straight hair) who would watch me sit in the mirror spending hours straightening my hair before a trip to the mall (u know u have to look hot, fine guys are there!) and exasperatedly say: I JUST WISH YOU WOULD LEAVE YOUR HAIR ALONE! to make me realize how much time and effort it was taking me to fix it. She would make attempts to show me how to fix my hair nice without straightening. (Bless her heart, she didn't quit know what she was doing being that she has stick straight hair and no experience with curly hair, but it was the thought and effort that counted.)

    I do get some irritating comments from my husband sometimes. He finally sees the beauty of my hair naturally, but sometimes he "misses the way my hair was when we met me (relaxed)" and i can't get him to see any beauty at all in locs, and doesn't understand why I feel that woman should stop trying to change themselves and assimilate into straightness and love their hair as it is naturally. We have big arguments over that. He's still somewhat stuck in a "straight" mindset and doesn't even see it...
  • callipygiacallipygia Posts: 31Registered Users
    Sometimes people joke my hair is like Sideshow Bob's (from the Simpsons). I usually laught it off but it really hurts inside. :(

    I sympathize! Reading your post reminded me about people from my high school calling me Sideshow Bob, too. I had never seen the character Sideshow Bob when they started calling me that, but when I did, I was so hurt because I couldn't believe they thought my hair looked like that (I have pix on my fotki...link below). What hurt the most, I think, was people telling me that I didn't look biracial because my curl pattern wasn't loose enough. They would say things like "What? You're mixed? You don't look like it b/c you don't have that "good" hair." I hate that good hair, bad hair bs. Hair is hair, and it doesn't need to be leaning towards straight for it to be considered "good."
    3C/4A...I'm not sure. I'm part Polish, Swedish, Swiss-German, and half Liberian with a crazy hair type.
    pw: bunny
  • curlylittlemommycurlylittlemommy Posts: 16Registered Users
    I just remembered! Everybody in school used to ask me if my hair was fake. There was one bully girl who refused to believe my curls were "real" and made comments about snatching my hair out of my head and such in front of her friends. She was such a loser.
  • JeanGenieJeanGenie Posts: 33Registered Users
    I think that, for the most part, I was fortunate to have been in high school in the late '80's. Perms were in style, and so was ratting your hair (a la metal bands) to get it as big and frizzy as possible, so in that way, I didn't stand out too much :) However, I did get lots of comments about the frizz through junior high and into early high school, because I was still brushing my hair.

    As an aside - one thing I remember clearly from high school that opened my eyes was talking to this girl at the local pizza place, and finding out that her hair was naturally curly. She had the most beautiful, tight ringlets, and I could have sworn at the time that it was a perm. She also said she never brushed her hair. My friends and I were all in awe! After that, I started wondering if maybe my hair was similar, so I stopped brushing it, and all of a sudden I had curls! That moment completely turned things around for me. All that time, I just thought it was "naturally frizzy".
    Hair type: 3A. Almost chin length with Bettie bangs. Currently using GF Curl & Shine S/C, leave in and jojoba oil. Colored black. Check out my curly journal on this site!
  • GoddessCurlsGoddessCurls Posts: 1,537Registered Users
    Gemini13 wrote:
    ETA: Oh, someone else was talking about her husband's nickname for her... one of the things my husband calls me is Little Big Hair. :lol:

    That made me laugh :lol: :lol: :lol:
    My best friend has a white mother and a black father. She was raised by her mother's family, who didn't know anything about caring for her curly hair. To this day, she fights with all her might against her curls. I try to get her to this web site, so she can get some support, but she won't even look. I feel bad cuz she is constantly at the hairdressers, spending hours and money on trying to changing herself :(

    Wow...that was my exact situation! My mom was white my dad is black and I spent most of my life around my moms (white, fair, irish, straighed haired) family. They never knew what to do with my hair...and I spent too much of my life trying to get their straight hair. I've recently come to terms with my curls and learned to love them. I'm much happier...and so are my curls!!
    ________________________
    http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

    Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
  • melza2001melza2001 Posts: 4Registered Users
    my friends told me i should get my hair relaxed into "proper" big curls. they were all surrounding me so i was just "uhhhhh ill think about it". :x
  • Kgrl17Kgrl17 Posts: 137Registered Users
    Luckily my hair wasn't frizzy or very curly until middle school. All through elementary I had baby fine hair and soft curly ends (I wish I still did!). My parents brushed it and put in leave in conidtioner when it was wet so I never had a problem with the curls being pulled out. It started to get thick and curlier in middle school but where I live almost every girl had straight blonde hair so I started to straighten it in 6th or 7th grade and did that for 3 or 4 years. I wore it curly a couple times and got a few compliments just because it looked different but most people liked it straight better.
    Now I'm the one who has problems with it and complains about it still but my friends and family seem to like it. My mom loves the curly hair and hates when I straighten it. I prefer it curly though when it actually comes out nice but I straighten once every week or two still. I'm a senior now though and I have been wearing my hair curly for 2 years now
  • ChrematisaiChrematisai Posts: 85Registered Users
    I was never teased about my hair growing up, cause I'm only a 2a, and I thought my hair was straight with serious frizz until recently, but my baby sister, at only 2 years old, has a mass of beautiful 3b/c curls. My stepmom is ethnic, so the two little ones (brother, age 4, and sister, age 2) are multiracial, and both have really curly hair. If anyone ever tries to get my sister to tame her hair, I will be up in arms about it. I'm a curl enthusiast, and so is my best friend, so my sister will be well backed up :D
    "A face without freckles is like a night without stars"

    ~Jenny
  • SmallFrySmallFry Posts: 614Registered Users
    well i know exactly where everyone is comming from. I too have had my share of insults about my hair, many of the same things everyone else was called. But what gets to me is my most recent one. well about 4 months ago, a coworker saw a pic of me in my natural curls, which was a first since i used to always wear it straight. after looking at the pic and making a face, she said,

    "OMG, Don't ever wear your hair like that, You look like a dirty wet mexican! I don't like that at all!"

    I was shocked that she would say such harsh words, i was hurt, upset, and humiliated. The day that pic was taken, i was happy about what my hair looked like, but after her comment... well I wore my hair straight for months afterward. Recently i've decided to cherish what God gave me.

    She saw me today with the same hairstyle after all this time and guess what. She proceeded to say the same thing!! -she said
    "What did I tell you about that! you got that dirty wet mexican look again, don't wear it like that."
    I was furious. This happened after a bunch of my other co workers gave me positive comments. So she just really tried to rain on my parade.... I basically told her "this is the way God made me, I was born this way and if you don't like it, then don't look at it." And that she don't have to say such mean things like that. ....
    you know i really wanted to just throw really big rocks at her for saying that...
    anyway sorry for venting so much...
    people really just need to stop being so closeminded and accept people the way they are.
    Lotsa 3c curls
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    It's not about having what you want, it's about Wanting what you have
  • Gemini13Gemini13 Posts: 5,000Registered Users
    She saw me today with the same hairstyle after all this time and guess what. She proceeded to say the same thing!! -she said
    "What did I tell you about that! you got that dirty wet mexican look again, don't wear it like that."

    :shock: What the... ??? I don't know what your working relationship is like with this woman, but I would tell her that her blatantly racist comments made me extrememely uncomfortable.

    EWWWWWW!!!!! :evil:
    Brooklyn, NY

    Hair: 3A/B, Underlayer of 2B
    HG products:
    Winter- Giovanni Tea Tree (co-wash) & 50/50 (condish); Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Leave-In; Curls Milkshake & Quenched Curls; Re:coil; BRHG
    Summer: DevaCurl No Poo & OneC; CK; Re:coil; BRHG; Honey!!!

    fotki pw= crrrls
  • ChrematisaiChrematisai Posts: 85Registered Users
    That is brutal! Incredibly racist . . . she's a straight-haired, caucasian girl, I presume? That is just ignorant . . . I'm SO glad that my dad married who he did (a black Jamaican) so I actually have some education about what will offend people of colour. I grew up in a very small town, almost entirely white population, so shortly after my dad met the woman he married, I would say things that were mildly offensive without meaning to. But I would never, EVER have said something like that! I think she should be shipped off to Mexico to live for a year, to learn that the Mexican people are human, too! Not to mention that is just plain rude, saying something like that to your face! Even if she thought that, it was totally inappropriate to say it that way. She could have just said that she prefered it straight. Oy. Some people :roll:
    "A face without freckles is like a night without stars"

    ~Jenny
  • SmallFrySmallFry Posts: 614Registered Users
    That is brutal! Incredibly racist . . . she's a straight-haired, caucasian girl, I presume?

    Actually, surprisingly, she is black and gets relaxers to straighten her hair. so i guess she may just be jealous... i don't know.

    and you're right if she thought that, it was NOT neccesary for her to say it outloud! .... though i'm not mexican I am filipino, chinese, spanish and black; it is rude and offensive to me and i'm sure to anyone who is mexican. She was totally inappropriate.
    Lotsa 3c curls
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    It's not about having what you want, it's about Wanting what you have
  • curlee4lifecurlee4life Posts: 219Registered Users
    :shock: Wow! Some people should just keep there big mouths shut!!!

    Sorry that you had such an experience!

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    Germany Curly

    Last Relaxer(Texturizer): Aug. 2005
    BC: May 2006

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