hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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Comments

  • betweenshadesbetweenshades Posts: 130Registered Users
    :shock: What is WRONG with people?! You don't just do something insane like that to someone!

    I'd have reached over and pulled my fingers through her hair until all the curls fell out and got tangled. Maybe that would teach her. :P

    She's one of my mom's friends that's known me since I was 4, so she had this messed up sence of ownership to my hair. I was so shocked that I had no idea what to say. She tried doing it again later on, but I went off on her.
    Sarah - 3B/C, CG since 11/25/05

    DevaCurl and Jessicurl rock my hair care world.

    My Hair Journal

    tiger.gif
  • christybirdchristybird Posts: 1Registered Users
    Reading all these posts makes me wish we all went to school together.
    My hair had to do with a majority of my childhood/teenage bad memories.
    From the time I was 4 I can remember some stupid comment that was said about my super curly hair. The first vivid one I remember was when I was 4 or 5 and I ran out to get the mail when the mailman pulled up and started making fun of my hair from the truck.
    In every grade I can remember walking down a hallway/bus/grocery store (anywhere for that matter) and having someone (even adults) or a group of kids shouting out bush, fro, frizzhead, etc.
    The worst time I had was in 7th grade. My parents were just divorced and my dad moved my sister and I to Pennsylvania. I didn't know anyone, hated my aunt and my sister (who was a year older) was the only friend I had for a long time.
    Every day I would dread walking to the bus stop because I knew it would be the beginning of another miserable day. It would start with a couple boys at the stop who somehow always found something to say or snicker about. Once the bus pulled up I'd get scared and prepare myself to hunt for a seat within the first few rows because I knew if I went more than 5 rows back it would be torture for the next 45 minutes. I came up with this ritual that if I saw this old sign of a frog that hung on the side of a barn we passed then I would have a good day. If I ever missed it I would be paraniod until coming home.
    The day came when I couldn't find a seat on the bus and ended up almost at the back. The entire ride was spent being made fun of by about 15 kids and of course I missed the sign because I wouldn't look up. I got off at school crying and my sister searched for me. She saw me and asked me what happened, I told her and we went straight to the asst. principal. My sister (who was about 13 at the time) pretty much yelled at her to do something about it, which nothing was.
    After that miserable year we came back to colorado to live with our mom (we loved our dad dearly, but my sister and I couldn't take our aunt, those kids and all kinds of other crap that happened).
    The teasing never stopped, but I could handle it much better. I got my first job at a restaurant and, of course, had to deal with this jerk cook (who was like 31) who would yell out "We're gonna have a bush fire" or "tumbleweed!". He tried to get me fired because I told him to F-off every time but my bosses knew I was a hard worker and that he teased me constantly.
    But many good things have come about because of my hair and I embrace it now. Mainly because no matter what I knew my mom always tried to help me get through it. After starting the CG routine last october my hair has looked better then ever (I'm 26 now). My mom saw it and said she couldn't believe how well the routine worked. She said she wished she knew about it when I was a kid so she could help me care for it. My best friend, who is a cosmetologist and has always loved/envied my hair (as she always says), now recommends the technique to all her curly clients and has had her name referred to tons more curly haired people because of the results.
    Then there is my husband, Chris. Though I didn't know he would become my husband, I'll never forget one of the first things he said to me. We met at a club (my hair was pulled back of course) and we danced together. We left in seperate cars and I pulled down my hair to let my head breathe when he ran back to the car and asked if I'd like to go get something to eat. I was paranoid he'd never talk to me again because he saw my "real" hair. Well, we talked on the phone a few days later and he said (which I never, ever thought I'd hear) "You have beautiful hair."
    From that moment on I had no inhibitions to falling in love with him or worry about him making fun of me for it or wanting me to change it.
    I think he loves my curly hair more than me at times.
    But what matters most is now I love my hair and would never do anything to change it.
    christybird
  • automaticflowersautomaticflowers Posts: 3,465Registered Users
    Awwww. :cry: I'll just never understand why people are so mean, especially about things that are beyond our control. I feel as though parents are partly to blame, though... I'd never have even dreamed of making fun of someone for looking "different", because my mother was strict in making sure my brother and I knew that it's wrong.

    I remember my little brother defending a girl in his elementary school against her tormentors, who were picking on her for being bald. She had cancer, and she wore baseball caps to cover up her head while she was in remission and her hair was growing back.

    That's a fabulous idea, though, christybird... someone ought to create schools especially for curlies. :wink: Life would have been so much easier for a lot of us that way!
  • Alely MarinaAlely Marina Posts: 37Registered Users
    Oh my gosh Christybird, I felt like I was reading my biography! School was the worst for me. My step mother made me have short hair. Then tried to get me to do it like old women do. Curling my curls with a big curling iron and floofing it out. I'd re-wett it before going to school. got called poodle, fro girl, everything in the book. All the years were bad but 7th was my absolute worst as well. middle school, bus, mean kids. I moved and in 8th grade it was a K-8 school so I wasn't nearly as made fun of and the kids seemed to be more mature, same with highschool. Although I striaghtned it so much in highschool, it was obvious as my hair is very curly, I constantly got asked questions and teased a bit. It finally eased when I "rebelled" and my hair grew out and I stopped straightening it. Everyone liked it alot better. By my senior year I felt like that ugly duckling story. After years of being an introvert and very shy, avoiding people for fear of hearing a mean comment, it didn't go well. Aside from close friends I had from my before, I got very nervous when people would talk to me all the time and I think it created kind of a social anxiety to this day. It is comforting to know that in that big "90210" High School (it was knicked that b/c of all the richies) that people actually liked my curly hair once I learned how to care for it a bit.
    "Impeach Busch. Drink good beer."
  • betweenshadesbetweenshades Posts: 130Registered Users
    Christy, I think school was hard on everyone! Even though I liked my hair and got good feedback from my frineds, I still got some rude comments and dumb questions ("do you brush your hair?" ...wtf?) once in a while.
    Sarah - 3B/C, CG since 11/25/05

    DevaCurl and Jessicurl rock my hair care world.

    My Hair Journal

    tiger.gif
  • ColochaColocha Posts: 344Registered Users
    Reading all these posts makes me wish we all went to school together.
    My hair had to do with a majority of my childhood/teenage bad memories.
    From the time I was 4 I can remember some stupid comment that was said about my super curly hair. The first vivid one I remember was when I was 4 or 5 and I ran out to get the mail when the mailman pulled up and started making fun of my hair from the truck.
    In every grade I can remember walking down a hallway/bus/grocery store (anywhere for that matter) and having someone (even adults) or a group of kids shouting out bush, fro, frizzhead, etc.
    The worst time I had was in 7th grade. My parents were just divorced and my dad moved my sister and I to Pennsylvania. I didn't know anyone, hated my aunt and my sister (who was a year older) was the only friend I had for a long time.
    Every day I would dread walking to the bus stop because I knew it would be the beginning of another miserable day. It would start with a couple boys at the stop who somehow always found something to say or snicker about. Once the bus pulled up I'd get scared and prepare myself to hunt for a seat within the first few rows because I knew if I went more than 5 rows back it would be torture for the next 45 minutes. I came up with this ritual that if I saw this old sign of a frog that hung on the side of a barn we passed then I would have a good day. If I ever missed it I would be paraniod until coming home.
    The day came when I couldn't find a seat on the bus and ended up almost at the back. The entire ride was spent being made fun of by about 15 kids and of course I missed the sign because I wouldn't look up. I got off at school crying and my sister searched for me. She saw me and asked me what happened, I told her and we went straight to the asst. principal. My sister (who was about 13 at the time) pretty much yelled at her to do something about it, which nothing was.
    After that miserable year we came back to colorado to live with our mom (we loved our dad dearly, but my sister and I couldn't take our aunt, those kids and all kinds of other crap that happened).
    The teasing never stopped, but I could handle it much better. I got my first job at a restaurant and, of course, had to deal with this jerk cook (who was like 31) who would yell out "We're gonna have a bush fire" or "tumbleweed!". He tried to get me fired because I told him to F-off every time but my bosses knew I was a hard worker and that he teased me constantly.
    But many good things have come about because of my hair and I embrace it now. Mainly because no matter what I knew my mom always tried to help me get through it. After starting the CG routine last october my hair has looked better then ever (I'm 26 now). My mom saw it and said she couldn't believe how well the routine worked. She said she wished she knew about it when I was a kid so she could help me care for it. My best friend, who is a cosmetologist and has always loved/envied my hair (as she always says), now recommends the technique to all her curly clients and has had her name referred to tons more curly haired people because of the results.
    Then there is my husband, Chris. Though I didn't know he would become my husband, I'll never forget one of the first things he said to me. We met at a club (my hair was pulled back of course) and we danced together. We left in seperate cars and I pulled down my hair to let my head breathe when he ran back to the car and asked if I'd like to go get something to eat. I was paranoid he'd never talk to me again because he saw my "real" hair. Well, we talked on the phone a few days later and he said (which I never, ever thought I'd hear) "You have beautiful hair."
    From that moment on I had no inhibitions to falling in love with him or worry about him making fun of me for it or wanting me to change it.
    I think he loves my curly hair more than me at times.
    But what matters most is now I love my hair and would never do anything to change it.

    :D :D I like your ending! I bet you have beautiful hair!
    "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

    Hair type: 3b/c
  • st. louis bluest. louis blue Posts: 404Registered Users
    My new housemate said to me a couple of week ago, "Your hair is sooo . . . . interesting."

    If it hadn't been directed at me, the sarcasm would've been beautiful!

    I am pretty sure that it wasn't an anti-curl sentiment, but I do think my hair must've been looking crazy that day.
  • jenjenjenjen Posts: 188Registered Users
    I'm sorry. That really sucks. My mom kept having my hair cut so short I didn't know I had curly hair until I was in high school. My friend lovingly called me the wild woman of the west (because of my hair) I thought it was cute and I didn't mind because she loved my hair. Most people at school made fun of me, but I was in a youth group where there was a girl who had bigger and curlier hair then me so I felt just fine and everyone loved my hair. In fact guys hit on me a lot more after I started going curly. I think straight hair on everyone looks stupid. All I can say is don't worry about it. I'm sure your hair is great. Who cares what they think. :evil: :oops: :x :o :?
    .png


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    Between 3a/3b
    “Law is order, and good law is good order” (Aristotle).
  • ColochaColocha Posts: 344Registered Users
    A few years ago my husband and I were invited at a pastor and his wife´s house. They had two daughters, I believe, 4 and 2. When we sat down on the table the 4 yr old girl looked at me intensely and said: "your hair looks funny". The parents started laughing and laughing to the point that they couldn´t stop.

    I guess I didn´t mind that much that the girl said that to me, what bothered me were the parents.
    "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

    Hair type: 3b/c
  • CreationCreation Posts: 48Registered Users
    Yeah I can't believe people are just so bold to say something about other people like that.

    As far as the co-worker situation you should tell her something like" Well since we are on the subject of making recommendations to each other. You look like you gained some weight. You should really loose a few pounds" Or if she is skinny remind her how she should gain some weight.

    Not the maturest response but I'm sure she won't want to give her opinons anymore and she won't want to hear yours!!! :lol:

    I'm really sorry you had to go through that
    Righteousness isn't what you do it's a gift!

    I'm still trying to find out what my hair type is!!
  • curlicious3bcurlicious3b Posts: 458Registered Users
    Yes


    1) someone just a couple of months ago was trying to point me and out and use the phrase "that girl with the frizzy hair"

    2) someone JH called my hair a rats nest

    3) JH: someone imed me and I told me I was ugly and told my to blowdry my hair straight
    Many more....
    People are SO annoying sometimes.
    Thats why we curlies/wavies have to stick together :D
    3c
  • curly_keltiecurly_keltie Posts: 791Registered Users
    I never really had any problems in grade school. Most people liked it curly, or made fun of how pale I was.

    I had one quasi-insult. It wasn't so really meant to be insulting though. In University, I was taking a ballroom dancing class. You didn't have to register with a partner, so we were constantly dancing with different partners. At one point, my partner and I crashed into a couple behind us. My partner said, "I'm so sorry, I couldn't see past your hair." Now my hair wasn't frizzy or poorly styled...he legitimately could not see past my voluminous curls! It was actually pretty funny!
    Long, blonde, 3a/mostly b hair.

    78Da.jpg78Dam6.png
  • x3Tinax3Tina Posts: 77Registered Users
    I've had someone once comment that I'd gotten into a fight with a lawn mower... :roll:
    ~Tina
    P/w: curls
  • lunarisinglunarising Posts: 71Registered Users
    I hated my hair in school as I was the only one with so much curl and the only way I could wear it was very short and even then it frizzed :(

    Got called all the usual names...kids can be so very cruel to their peers.

    The only person who seemed to be able to cut my hair (according to my mother) was a man in a barber shop. Kinda hard for a young girl to go in and sit with the men whilst waiting :cry:

    Spent much of my time coveting my friends' 'normal' hair, and this gave me a lack of confidence problem I carried with me to adult hood.

    Tried parting it and brushing in my teens....can you say major headache and little did I know useless for my hair type!

    Chemically straightening for a few years has given me a length to work with and now I'm learning to care for it curly and to treat it with love instead.
    event.png


    Modified CG - Suave coconut conditioner (CW), BC Down and Out, and and Aussie MM conditioner my current loves.
  • UnrulyCurlsUnrulyCurls Posts: 33Registered Users
    Hmmm-- When I was 4 I used to have the cutest hair, my mom new exactly what to do with it, never letting a brush touch it.. but when I got older... I disliked my hair sooo much. My mom (who has straight hair) would brush my hair while it was dry and pull it back in a tight ponytail. My dad fixed my hair once and it looked terrible, and it hurt too..

    I didn't go through that much teasing when I was younger, I just remember someone telling me that my hair would look better if I would just straigthened it. That was the time were I was finally learning how to love my hair for what it is. Ohh.. and my sister once said that I had a fro and that my hair looked terrible.. sure, I get tons of volume, but a fro? Besides, I like a lot of volume, it makes things interesting. Or 'Your hair looks bad today, what'd you do to it?' when I thought I was having a good one.. People are so mean sometimes.
    3B/3C, thick, biracial curls
    Modified CG
    Loving my Coconut Oil
    Scouting for the best straightener
  • x_tigerlilyx_tigerlily Posts: 432Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I had curly hair that I shampooed daily, didn't condition, and brushed out when I was a kid. :shock: I also had a unibrow and moustache.

    People used to call me "Wolfman" :oops:

    I had people make mean comments every day. I honestly don't remember them all.
    3C/4A and too long to handle (and afford!)
  • x_tigerlilyx_tigerlily Posts: 432Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Now I remember one hurtful comment. A couple of years ago, I was telling my guy-friend that I was having a bad hair day. And he said, in front of the whole group, "You ALWAYS have a bad hair day."

    :cry: I actually cried and walked away.
    3C/4A and too long to handle (and afford!)
  • jennyfurrensjennyfurrens Posts: 708Registered Users
    i was a wee bit bullied in early secondary school by two girls, and i do honestly believe most of it was because of my hair. admitedly i didnt kno how to care for it properly, and i brushed it so it was quite frizzy. they called me poodle.

    but i remember the day i went into school for a 'home clothes day' (i went to a school that was strict on presentation and hair HAD to be tied back) with my hair down and freshly washed and UNbrushed, and all the girls gasped and told me i had GORGEOUS hair and they loved my curls. i didnt get called poodle after that :wink:

    but it did really used to get to me when i was bullied for it. i never once wished i didnt have my hair, but i wished i could 'fit in' with all the 'straight haired girls' - now i'm proud to be different :P

    cleanse: OS shampoo. PureNuffStuff cleanser.
    condition: Aussie 3MM. Jessicurl Aloeba.
    style: B2Basics GreenTeaGel. T&G Curl Balm. JCarter Nourish&Shine.


    pw: curlywurly
  • x_tigerlilyx_tigerlily Posts: 432Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Sometimes people joke my hair is like Sideshow Bob's (from the Simpsons). I usually laught it off but it really hurts inside. :(
    3C/4A and too long to handle (and afford!)
  • CelebrationCelebration Posts: 134Registered Users
    I knew I could come here and find a place to vent! Yesterday, after Jazzercise class, I took my hair down from my sweaty ponytail for just a second, to rearrange it. The instructor (who is also a close friend of mine) said, "Look at all that wild and crazy hair!" It made me feel really bad :( I still felt bad this morning. :(

    On the other hand...one time I went to the salon and my stylist blew it out. It looked smashing. I thought I looked like a super model. That night I saw my b/f and I was so excited to show him my hair. He just said, "Why'd you take out your curls?" :wink:
    CG Since 2/06
    3a/3b, Coarse, Very thick, bra strap length and growing!
    Fotki Album

    Mary Kay Beauty Consultant

  • scarlet_jgscarlet_jg Posts: 1Registered Users
    I can't believe you all went through that. I always has bum length hair with big curls and it was really red. I got little old ladies who walked up to me and told me how beautiful my hair was. I was also 5'10'' by grade 3 so I learned pretty quickly to accept and love my differences...even though they were many. It was hard at times, but now I love the fact that I look like no one else... and my boyfriend does too. :)
    Natural redhead who has overdyed and lost the red...
    naturally curly too (3A)
  • Gemini13Gemini13 Posts: 5,000Registered Users
    Oh, I got the usual when I was younger... poodle head and whatnot. My hair was a mess though, for a while. I had straight hair till puberty- for YEARS after it became curly this one girl in my school kept insisting that I had gotten a perm. Before I got a short cut and realized my hair was actually curly, it was FRIZZY... I'm not sure if the curls weren't showing because of the length, or because I just didn't know how to take proper care of them. My Mom has really fine, straight hair, and my Dad is black... I'm an only kid so I'm the only one in the family who has hair like mine. I had no idea how to care for it and no one could really offer me any advice either. I begged and begged my mom to let me relax my hair, which I did when I was 12- and promptly regretted it! It just lay there all limp and flat.

    It took me several years to figure it out, but finally, in the last years of high school, I had things *more or less* under control. I got few bad comments after that. I did have two guy friends who for some reason were very unimpressed with my curls. They're both very gay, so what would they know about the sex appeal of the curl. :wink: Anyway, one of them *pleaded* with me to let him blow out my hair. I told him he could do it once before the summer ended and I went back to school. My last night home came around, and I had to keep my word. I washed my hair, he put some conditioner in, turned on the blowdryer and started brushing. My hair was very long, and he was completely amazed... "god, there's so much hair..." He was brushing and brushing, putting in more and more conditioner. It took him FOREVER to finish, and when he did there was a ton of conditioner in my hair. And that was the last time he asked to straighten my hair. :lol:

    ETA: Oh, someone else was talking about her husband's nickname for her... one of the things my husband calls me is Little Big Hair. :lol:
    Brooklyn, NY

    Hair: 3A/B, Underlayer of 2B
    HG products:
    Winter- Giovanni Tea Tree (co-wash) & 50/50 (condish); Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Leave-In; Curls Milkshake & Quenched Curls; Re:coil; BRHG
    Summer: DevaCurl No Poo & OneC; CK; Re:coil; BRHG; Honey!!!

    fotki pw= crrrls
  • CelebrationCelebration Posts: 134Registered Users
    Gemini13 wrote:
    ETA: Oh, someone else was talking about her husband's nickname for her... one of the things my husband calls me is Little Big Hair. :lol:

    That made me laugh :lol: :lol: :lol:
    My best friend has a white mother and a black father. She was raised by her mother's family, who didn't know anything about caring for her curly hair. To this day, she fights with all her might against her curls. I try to get her to this web site, so she can get some support, but she won't even look. I feel bad cuz she is constantly at the hairdressers, spending hours and money on trying to changing herself :(
    CG Since 2/06
    3a/3b, Coarse, Very thick, bra strap length and growing!
    Fotki Album

    Mary Kay Beauty Consultant

  • imjustacurlimjustacurl Posts: 9Registered Users
    from my little sister, i have gotten that i should have stayed in the 80's... from straight haired girls, i get the usual, "you with the biggest hair award!"... my grandma insists that i straighten it because i look to hispanic or greek with my curls... which hurts, bc i'm latina and adopted into a german family, so i already stand out... guess which one i am:

    easter2006cousins3tm.jpg

    but my boyfriend recently told me what originally attracted him to me...


    the fact that i "always have sex hair"... i've talked to my other guy friends and they say its true... most guys will more than likely flock to a girl who looks like she had a "long night"...
  • Gemini13Gemini13 Posts: 5,000Registered Users
    my grandma insists that i straighten it because i look to hispanic or greek with my curls... which hurts, bc i'm latina and adopted into a german family, so i already stand out...

    What a horrible thing for her to say! :evil:
    Brooklyn, NY

    Hair: 3A/B, Underlayer of 2B
    HG products:
    Winter- Giovanni Tea Tree (co-wash) & 50/50 (condish); Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Leave-In; Curls Milkshake & Quenched Curls; Re:coil; BRHG
    Summer: DevaCurl No Poo & OneC; CK; Re:coil; BRHG; Honey!!!

    fotki pw= crrrls
  • CelebrationCelebration Posts: 134Registered Users
    Hi imjustacurl. Thanks for sharing your story. I just want to make the comment that just because you stand out, that's not a negative thing. You are a very pretty girl and you "shine" out from that photograph! Be proud of your curls ;)
    CG Since 2/06
    3a/3b, Coarse, Very thick, bra strap length and growing!
    Fotki Album

    Mary Kay Beauty Consultant

  • CelebrationCelebration Posts: 134Registered Users
    Hi imjustacurl. Thanks for sharing your story. I just want to make the comment that just because you stand out, that's not a negative thing. You are a very pretty girl and you "shine" out from that photograph! Be proud of your curls ;)
    CG Since 2/06
    3a/3b, Coarse, Very thick, bra strap length and growing!
    Fotki Album

    Mary Kay Beauty Consultant

  • imjustacurlimjustacurl Posts: 9Registered Users
    thank you for the sweet compliments! thought, none are as curly as me, i'm helping my brother tallest boy in light blue with dark brown hair, and cousins bright blue and white striped shirt with honey brown hair and other isn't in the picture embrace their 2a/2b hair... both of my aunties insist on keeping my cousins' hair short! if they grew it out, both girls ages 10 and 6 would have the most wonderful dark amber ringlettes! but... until straight-haired mommies realize that their kids are different, what can you do?


    and as for my gram, i've just learned to bit my tongue around her... :holdbreath:holdbreath.gif ... and wear my hair proudly in its natural state...


    --B


  • curlylauracurlylaura Posts: 8,352Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Imjustacurl you are beautiful!
    Fat does not make you fat. It's actually pretty important.
  • x3Tinax3Tina Posts: 77Registered Users
    my grandma insists that i straighten it because i look to hispanic or greek with my curls...

    Haha, I'm greek. :)

    Your hair is amazing. :D
    ~Tina
    P/w: curls

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