hurtful comments people've made about your hair



  • naturecatnaturecat Posts: 1,986Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Gosh that's awful. I'm sorry you have to go through that. But you're handling it at 18 and to have that sense of self at that age that you know who you are and won't be bullied means you're awesomely strong.

    My latest one seems dull by comparison. I tried to convince my mom to stop cutting her hair straight and straightening it (it just sticks out weirdly and never looks good). I showed her the before/after CG pictures thread. She didn't like the curly look at all. I thought it would inspire her. I flipped over to the most recent post I posted in the thread (though my face is blocked out, so she couldn't recognize me). When she saw the curls she said, "now, THAT'S unattractive hair." In fairness she didn't know it was me and acted embarrassed when I revealed to her it was. She tried to claim that it was only because the face was blocked out but couldn't keep a straight face saying it. I told her it was fine, I've known for a long time you think my hair is ugly. I shouldn't need her approval, but it does sting coming from a parent, even when you're grown up. We're so conditioned to want their approval.

    Super baby fine hair, low porosity
    Shampoos: SM Fruit Fusion (mostly), Avalon lemon (to clarify). Occasional aloe vera and glycerin to wash.
    Stylers: Intelligent Nutrients Perfect Hold Hairspray
    Treatments: Catnip tea, IA girl's PT, Fermented Rice Water, Catnip Tea, Amla tea, Irish Moss, SS PT
  • BrunecoilsBrunecoils Posts: 2Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Gosh, that made me cringe. I'm sorry for you =(. I just find it hurtful that people can be so offensive towards natural hair. It's who we truly are, no matter what we do to try and change it. That's why I'm insulted when people reject it so....carelessly.

    I see it like someone preferring blue eyes over brown eyes...and that's ok (beauty is in the eye of the beholder). But it starts to become a problem when you start ragging on brown eyes because they just don't meet your criteria of beauty. Even worse, when you can't acknowledge the fact that it's not because they are not beautiful to you, that it's not beautiful to someone else.

    They don't have to like it, but they should accept for what it is and respect it.
  • Klaton1cGurlKlaton1cGurl Posts: 2Registered Users
    Girl these hateful comments are hurting me! Forget these haters they're just a day away from getting that sweet, sweet karma! Stay strong ladies
  • burnsburns Posts: 1Registered Users
    I remember in 3rd grade, the teacher passed out our school pictures and showed everyone as she was doing it. One boy yelled out that I had a "Triangle Head".
    Type: 3a

    Co-Wash: Deva Curl No-Poo
    Rinse Out: Suave Essentials Softening Conditioner
    Styling Products: Suave Essentials Softening Conditioner and LA Looks Gel
  • kalishakalisha Posts: 3Registered Users
    I cant say that I've had hurtful comments per say, but I have been made fun of for having my two huge afro puffs in elementary school. A little boy who sat behind me would complain that he couldn't see over y hair, although he was at least a head taller than me. And he would poke my afro with pencils until I gave him what he needed at got sent home. That was years ago and we are surprisingly good friends now in high school.
  • LuveskaLuveska Posts: 4Registered Users
    One recurring theme I am seeing here is that most of us curlies were teased as children/teenagers but it seems to level off entering adulthood. What I'm curious is, has anyone else been teased or openly insulted as an ADULT about their curls?

    I started straightening my thick, red hair when I was 15 years old. Previous to that I was teased horribly and called so many names both for the colour of my hair and the texture. Kids would yell "Ch-ch-ch-chia!" at me (After the commercials with the little planters shaped like animals that sprouted grass or whatever).

    After I got my hair chemically straightened I was treated SO differently. All of a sudden boys were asking me out and people were complimenting me all the time--no one EVER complimented me before.

    So for 15 years I kept straightening it. Every one including my family seemed to forget my hair had ever been anything but straight, and my confidence soared. People complimented my hair constantly and I considered it my nicest feature...

    Then about 2 or 3 weeks ago I decided, finally, enough is enough. I wanted to grow out my bob-length hair and let the curls return, so I found this website and bought the right products and I've been curly ever since...most of the feedback at work and out in public has been positive, at least from women. Every woman I know has said my curls suit me and they are beautiful and jealous of my volume...the men however, clearly do not agree. I've received a lot of "what happened to your hair??" and "Are you not feeling well? Your hair was always so sleek and straight!" and most just say nothing and don't make eye contact...I've actually never felt more unattractive. It made me feel like that little girl all over again being called ugly and frizzball etc.

    Just today on my walk home from the train a group of youngish (20s) guys actually pointed and laughed at my hair...I am 30 years old. I thought as an adult I wouldn't have to deal with this. Anyone experience something like this? Maybe it's just me.
  • CatitudeBooCatitudeBoo Posts: 562Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    this was not really 'hurtful' but it did rub me the wrong way. I went on a date with a guy last week and he asked me if I ever straightened my hair.
    CG since Dec. 2013  B)
    3b/c ~ fine ~ high porosity ~ low density
    No-Poo: SheaMoisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Shampoo 
    RO: Tresemme Botanique Nourish & Replenish Conditioner 
    Stylers: Tresemme Flawless Curls Mousse & Extra Hold Hairspray 

  • wavyblondewavyblonde Posts: 1,637Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    That's so weird--your hair is really pretty and not at all out of the "norm." Sorry the men around you are such jerks!
    2c/3a with 2b underlayer. Fine, porous. Loves protein. But not hydrolized wheat protein. Yuck.

    Wash: WEN Sweet Almond Mint or Pomegranate
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  • curlyclodcurlyclod Posts: 6Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Generally, as an adult, hairdressers have been jerks. I think it's sad that this is their profession and yet they do not understand hair...

    On good days, I get envy and compliments on my hair. On bad days, it's wrapped up in a bun.

    On an aside, when I was a kid, my sister would always say to me, "You have curly have curly have curly hair..."

    I would think "No sh*t, Sherlock". I just thought she was continually stating the obvious.

    Well, some years ago, she apologized for picking on me for having curly hair. I was surprised, all that time I just thought she was stating the obvious, I didn't realize that having curly hair was a insult, lol.

    Anyway, she used to get up at 5:30 am every morning in high school to curl her hair with a curling iron. As we got older, her hair got coarser and curlier, too, that is why she apologized to me. She's having a time of it, she got her hair relaxed at a salon and half her hair broke off.
  • ImaniJadaImaniJada Posts: 2Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Neophyte
    This girl once told me that my hair was “nappy” ... but she said this with weave on her head 🤔
  • Kinky Curly-Coily MeganKinky Curly-Coily Megan Posts: 67Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Connoisseur
    edited May 5
    My co workers called it nappy. My coworkers stared and asked weird questions like is your hair curly? I know my hair was busted and a mess when I first started wearing my hair natural. I did not know what to use or how to style my hair. So when I found out how,  everyone was like your curls and hair look so good. I even saw some people start to wear their hair natural...but the hater/ nay Sayers stay doing them hating lol! My dad said, "I look Michael Jackson back in day and some other mean things". My dad is a negative person anyway... I have tough skin. His words and other peoples words do no bother me as much because I am going to do me anyway. 
  • CurlyGreekgirl123CurlyGreekgirl123 Posts: 4Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Neophyte
    People rarely told me mean comments to my face, but it has happened behind my back many times. The most common is the joke about how little I much brush my hair. "Oh she doesn't brush her hair? I wonder how much she brushes her teeth?" I have also heard rumors of "bugs" living in my hair. I have A LOT of hair, and it isn't all pretty ringlets. My hair is a mix of frizz, waves, and curls. Plus, it's the color of Garfield laying in the shade. Whenever I hear these comments, I just ignore them. I'd like to see these people come back to me when they're 50 with bald spots while I still have a full head of hair!
  • AmyztxAmyztx Posts: 1Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Neophyte
    The boys in my secondary school used to stick pencils in my hair and then see how long it would take for me to notice (I didnt even feel them doing it and the pencils used to stay in because of all the frizz). Is it any wonder its taken me until the age of 29 to finally embrace my curls!!
  • GretchenGretchen Administrator Posts: 10,173Administrators, Moderators Administrator
    Oh, these stories are just awful. I'm so sorry people are so cruel. At least we can rise above the nonsense cuz we know we are blessed to have curls. 

    Gretchen co-founder

    You are beautiful!
  • bobbybobby Posts: 714Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    edited May 16
    Gretchen said:
    Oh, these stories are just awful. I'm so sorry people are so cruel. At least we can rise above the nonsense cuz we know we are blessed to have curls. 
    @Gretchen, it's pretty like you and Michelle Breyer that have helped people like us realize we are blessed by forming this website so as to create a sense of curly community. ;)
    2B always with potential of white man's fro

    "Curls aren't just for girls"
  • GretchenGretchen Administrator Posts: 10,173Administrators, Moderators Administrator
    bobby said:
    Gretchen said:
    Oh, these stories are just awful. I'm so sorry people are so cruel. At least we can rise above the nonsense cuz we know we are blessed to have curls. 
    @Gretchen, it's pretty like you and Michelle Breyer that have helped people like us realize we are blessed by forming this website so as to create a sense of curly community. ;)
    Thank you! That was indeed our goal!

    Gretchen co-founder

    You are beautiful!

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