hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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  • curlyjenncurlyjenn Posts: 590Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Well, I never thought I'd hear it from my husband.... :cry:

    He's always loved my curly hair. Today, I tried the upside-down product application technique. My hair came out *really* curly and I loved it! It's kind of big and wild and curly! My husband stopped by my work and said "What happened to you? It looks like you just rolled out of bed and came to work. Your hair is messy." :cry:

    Now I feel self-conscious about my hair and I *never* feel that way about my hair!
    I'm a 3b, with 3c underneath.
    I'm a product junkie. <3
  • swirlsswirls Posts: 5Registered Users
    A couple of times I've had co-workers discuss my hair as if I wasn't there. Each time it was a sort of debate where one person thought it was too wild and poofy, and the other one thought that it looked like a lion's mane.

    It seems like the people who liked the personality of my mop liked my personality better too. They were just a little more accepting in general.
  • ShadesomeShadesome Posts: 19Registered Users
    when I was younger (elementary school, grades 0-4) my hair was somehwhatstraight, btu now it's really puffy(but I'm learning how to define it!!!) But anyway I;ve always been asked "Don't you BBrush your hair??" actually no I don't, I comb it. and I've been called "abominable snow curl" and Chewbaca.(sp) and I dunno how I forgot this, but people always call me "afro puff" and "afro girl" and make comments about me having an "afro" (like some of you too, I guess!) and people always make fun of me because they can't see behind my hair...

    and people are always asking me why I don't straighten my hair (because ti's impossible thats why! and maybe I like my hair!) I was at the orthodontists office and the lady who was doing my teeth kept telling me to straighten it!!

    but I do get quite a few shocked gasps and moans, and creepy people who want to touch my hair, and make comments"Oh, it's so lovley! I'm jealous!" and such.
    ~Shady~
  • SuZenSuZen Posts: 1,595Registered Users
    Just let us go to work on you and your hair will be beyond gorgeous!
  • CurlEEEECurlEEEE Posts: 308Registered Users
    Agree SuZen. Shady's gotten a lot of good advice so far...Soon people will be only envious of your gorgeous curls!
    3A/3B (not really sure)/No Shampoo/Conditioner Only/Honey/Aussie Volumizer+condish/Biolage Gel/Plop/Diffuse/Spritz of Bed Head Maxxed Out
    Password: CurlEEEE
  • sariroosariroo Posts: 1,958Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I am new to the boards but I have been coming to this site for many years. I just wanted to put in my two cents.

    I remember people making good and bad comments about my hair all through my life but for every bad comment there had to be 20 positives. Honestly, the ones I remember most are those people who would tell me how lucky I am for being born with curly hair. When I was a kid I would just roll my eyes. So of course in reply I used to get the line about how even if I don't appreciate my hair now I will someday. And of course, I really did start to appreciate it...

    It wasn't until high school when I realized that it was something that made me special. I used to hear a lot of girls say, "Oh I wish I could have her hair." And let me tell you, I never met a guy that didn't like long, wild, curly hair. In fact, I am sure that is how my husband first noticed me...he might not admit that but I know that is definitely one thing that attracted him to me. And after seeing it frizzy and dry and messy and first thing in the morning, I know he still loves my hair.

    I'm not bashing straight hair but I can honestly say I'm forever glad I am curly girl. Curly hair is so timeless. It is like a classic that people cannot get enough of. Believe me, I get sick of my hair and my curls are not even 1/10th as gorgeous as the pictures of the people who post on here. But all in all, I am totally proud to have curls and could care less what people have to say about it.
    316vq4y.jpg
  • MonaMona Posts: 49Registered Users
    When I was in elementary school, I could mostly tame it straight with a blow dryer, but once I got into middle school, it got quite wavy. No one in my immediate family has wavy/curly hair, so I didn't know how to style it. I live in the southern US where it's pretty common for the humidity to be above 85%, so it was very frizzy and bushy. I remember one particular rainy day in sixth grade, I was growing out my bangs, and had them slicked back and clipped, and my hair was this huge poof. That was the day I had to switch places with a boy because he "couldn't see around my hair."

    -M
    Long-time Lurker
    2a-2c (3a on the best of days)
    Modified CG
    Shampoo 1-2 times a week, condish with Suave Naturals Coconut, style with Suave gel and Aussie Sprunch Spray
  • nitelfgennitelfgen Posts: 1Registered Users
    Once i had no hair barrets, nothing to keep it up, also no gel , i had nothing. so my hair went frizzy and it was so big and poofy. then my uncle jokes around and says "YOu're hair is so pretty, people pay millions to get hair like that". Yeah right, people pay thta much money look like a chinese chou chou
  • Moon JaguarMoon Jaguar Posts: 1Registered Users
    Usually my hair was cut so short when I was a kid I got mistook for a boy. Much as I didn't like girly stuff when I was little, I still didn't want people to think I was a boy! I got called "Larry" when it grew out, which I didn't mind because I like the Three Stooges smileystooges.gif I really wasn't given any problems about my hair except for my mother always screaming about how I didn't look presentable. (I range front to back 1a/2a/2b/3a). And there weren't much of any products to untangle my hair in the early '70s, there was just Tame and that's about it, until No More Tangles came out. Someone tried using Brylcreem or VO5 on it and I ended up with a headful of grease.

    I had more issues from people when my alopecia would kick up and I'd wear a scarf to cover my hair. I used to just shave my head to make it look like I was balding on purpose and felt I was making more of a choice about how I looked when my scalp was doing otherwise.
    ---

    Front to back: 1A/2A/2B/3A....
  • ColochaColocha Posts: 344Registered Users
    Usually my hair was cut so short when I was a kid I got mistook for a boy.

    Same here.

    When I was in grade school, my sister used to tell me that my hair looks good only short in length and it´ll will never look good long. That was traumatic for me to hear, because I yearned for long hair.

    Every time I fought with my brother, he will look at my hair and in revenge, he will tell me that my hair is ugly, like "wires".
    "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

    Hair type: 3b/c
  • curlyhairedlexicurlyhairedlexi Posts: 14Registered Users
    Hmm... where to start with insults...

    One of my close friends never actually said it, but she's implied a few times that she doesn't like my curls and she's glad that she doesn't have hair like mine. Once she was like "Your hair is so poofy, Lexi!" If she ever does that again, I'm gonna say "I would rather have poofy hair than flat hair."

    Sometimes people on IM are like "You have really poofy hair that needs to be straightened." Mentally I'm like "Why aren't you saying this to me IN PERSON?"

    I've also gotten the "You would look pretty if you straightened your hair" from a few people. Also, during spring break for the French trip to Quebec, a girl said that she could try straightening my hair. Then again, I've also gotten "You would look weird with straight hair" from a few people, which I'm not sure to take as a compliment or an insult.
  • ColochaColocha Posts: 344Registered Users
    I've also gotten the "You would look pretty if you straightened your hair" from a few people

    I remember a "friend" of mine saying, " You would look better if you fix your hair!
    "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

    Hair type: 3b/c
  • DolphinCurlsDolphinCurls Posts: 370Registered Users
    My own mother whom I inherited my hair from said that when I wear my hair up it makes it calmer and shinier and silkier. That made me mad for two reasons. First, my hair was not that bad and it's not shiny or silky. It's thick and very wavy, which I of course absolutely love. And second, it made me mad because she made it sound like that silky, shiny, perfect straight hair was the only way to be! She does straighten her hair, but I thought she loved it when I went curly...There is nothing wrong with having thick wavy or curly hair. Or thin curly hair. Curly hair is so much more interesting that straight hair. You never know where the curl is going to take you each day. You can always predict straight hair. :evil:
    3A/2C combination of ringlets and waves :nike:
  • banjocurlbanjocurl Posts: 1,030Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    i received an interesting "compliment" last weekend at a new yrs party. this guy says to me "I love your Louis Quattorze look" . now for those who do not know. Louis quattorze=Louis XIV or Louis the 14th, who was one of the EXTREME rulers of France in pre revolutionary days.
    i looked for a photo and found
    msv17.jpg
    well, i guess it was a compliment :roll:
    Susan suburban NY
    3b going gray, not thick, waist length when wet, a bit below shoulders when dry
    CG since 11/11/04
    http://public.fotki.com/banjolady/
    PW: banjo
    HG: suave and honey for co-wash, deva, i use garnier fructis regular CO's or boots pink or white as leave ins and LA looks sport gel. plop w microfiber turban, then curl towel scrunch, then another turban.i sleep with the turban on. little one minute hair styling videos http://www.youtube.com/user/lazycurls
  • ColochaColocha Posts: 344Registered Users
    To be honest, I really like Louis Quattorze´s curls! They´re nice ringlets!
    "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

    Hair type: 3b/c
  • banjocurlbanjocurl Posts: 1,030Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Colocha wrote:
    To be honest, I really like Louis Quattorze´s curls! They´re nice ringlets!

    well, i will accept it as a compliment then, tho being told i look like a guy who's been dead for a few hundred years was not my first choice :)
    Susan suburban NY
    3b going gray, not thick, waist length when wet, a bit below shoulders when dry
    CG since 11/11/04
    http://public.fotki.com/banjolady/
    PW: banjo
    HG: suave and honey for co-wash, deva, i use garnier fructis regular CO's or boots pink or white as leave ins and LA looks sport gel. plop w microfiber turban, then curl towel scrunch, then another turban.i sleep with the turban on. little one minute hair styling videos http://www.youtube.com/user/lazycurls
  • ColochaColocha Posts: 344Registered Users
    Yes, I had to think of this one again. I would´ve not like it to be compared with this guy either. Your friend doesn´t have any common sense to give a compliment to your beautiful hair.
    "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

    Hair type: 3b/c
  • MeandZMeandZ Posts: 5Registered Users
    I hated my hair when I was younger. No one knew how to teach me how to take care of it. I love it now. When a stylist suggests that I straighten it, I look at them in horror and say, "Why in the world would I want to do that!? Speaking of stylists, I go to a great person to cut my hair but she doesn't know how to handle it afterwards. She keeps brushing and brushing and messing with it. I can never go anywhere after my appointment with her unless I take a scrunchie with me.
    OK, on to rude comments...
    Once when I was a kid about 8 or so my mom dropped me of at some mall hair salon to get my hair trimmed before going to summer camp. She told the stylist to just give me a trim. She left to go shopping (back in those days you could leave your kid at the stylist and not worry about kidnapping, etc.) and I told my hairstylist that I wanted a Dorothy Hamil haircut. What was she thinking listening to an 8 yr old!! I had 3b hair to the middle of my back. When my mom showed up a 1/2 hour later and saw me with frizzy fuzz that only reached my ears, we both cried. I can't even begin to list the rude and hurtful comments I received from total strangers at camp. But the most hurtful comment was, "That's why God doesn't want people to mix races (I'm biracial) look what happens to your hair. It's awful!!" I was hurt on so many levels.
  • nicoleshairnicoleshair Posts: 49Registered Users
    I went to a salon for a night out and the lady that did my hair said
    whens the last time you had an relaxer?(I didnt mind that question) after she was done she said YOUR Hair style would look alot better if you had a relaxer!!

    My brother said no black women should be walking around with there hair like that.

    Stright hair looks better

    I look at the good things i dont have a dandruff, my hair dont melt from relaxers. And most of all stright hair dosent speak, CURLS DO BABY
    I'm Black/Native American with 4A or 4B hair? This is the second time i stop relaxing my hair! Thanks to this site.
  • DolphinCurlsDolphinCurls Posts: 370Registered Users
    I also remember a time when I had just picked up my friend to take her to school. She came out and said her hair was frizzy. It wasn't. Her problem was flyaways and static not frizz. She has extremely fine and thin naturally straight hair When I said that my hair was frizzy (It was humid day), she was like, Oh your hair is always frizzy. I couldn't believe it. :evil:
    3A/2C combination of ringlets and waves :nike:
  • celticazteccelticaztec Posts: 4Registered Users
    Wow- I'm so sorry you all went through that!

    I come from a family of frizzmops and grew up in predominantly minority schools, so I wasn't out of place with my curls- I was pretty sheltered from teasing about my hair.

    I just got it about being chesty, chubby, smart and the nasty gigantic pink plastic glasses my grandmother insisted on buying for me. So I guess the hair was overshadowed by the rest! :lol:

    Anyway, most people love my hair, but I had a self-hating curly cut my hair recently. I told her I did NOT want to straighten my hair and her response was: "don't you have a boyfriend?" I asked what the <ahem> that had anything to do with it and she replied "well, I just thought if you did you would want it to look nice for him."

    I told her I LOVE my curls and the men I've dated do too and they would have been mortified if I straightened it "to make it look nice."

    Once in high school a guy was ripping his fingers through my hair (sans permission) and told me I was the only white girl he'd ever known with nappy hair.... I just told him I never asked him- nor gave him permission- to touch my hair.
  • celticazteccelticaztec Posts: 4Registered Users
    Wow- I'm so sorry you all went through that!

    I come from a family of frizzmops and grew up in predominantly minority schools, so I wasn't out of place with my curls- I was pretty sheltered from teasing about my hair.

    I just got it about being chesty, chubby, smart and the nasty gigantic pink plastic glasses my grandmother insisted on buying for me. So I guess the hair was overshadowed by the rest! :lol:

    Anyway, most people love my hair, but I had a self-hating curly cut my hair recently. I told her I did NOT want to straighten my hair and her response was: "don't you have a boyfriend?" I asked what the <ahem> that had anything to do with it and she replied "well, I just thought if you did you would want it to look nice for him."

    I told her I LOVE my curls and the men I've dated do too and they would have been mortified if I straightened it "to make it look nice."

    Once in high school a guy was ripping his fingers through my hair (sans permission) and told me I was the only white girl he'd ever known with nappy hair.... I just told him I never asked him- nor gave him permission- to touch my hair.
  • celticazteccelticaztec Posts: 4Registered Users
    sorry for the hiccup- error message! :?
  • SCGSCG Posts: 5,416Registered Users
    Just got back from a retreat with my youth group (lotsa fun, but a different story). My friends kidnapped me and decided that they were going to give me a make-over. They straightened my hair (I'll admit, it looked cute! But I love my curls much more) and did my make-up (also kind of cute, but too much). It started off with the girls when they were done. They all said "oooh, who's this hottie here!?" Then, we went downstairs to line up for dinner and my youth pastor jokingly pulled me aside. He said "sarah... what did you to your hair?" I explained the situation and he replied "well, you do know that guys will be following you around now, don't you?" Now, that sort of annoyed me, but I shook it off. I knew that he was joking, so I didn't pay much attention.

    Throughout the night, I had girls coming up to me and saying basically the same thing. Then, later that night, my sister and a friend walked past and said "woah, who's the new girl? What a hottie with straight hair!" That really annoyed me. Everyone said things similar that night, like "hey, sarah, I didn't recognize you without all your hair!"

    I know that they were trying to compliment me, but the way that they were doing it didn't help me much. :lol:

    Plus, everyone really refered to me that night as "jess's little sister" because we apparently looked a lot more alike than before. Or something like that. I feel like I wasted my time trying to seperate myself from my sister's image! :roll:

    There we go, I'm done. :roll:

    Sarah

    "And death is at your doorstep
    And it will steal your innocence
    But it will not steal your substance
    But you are not alone in this"

    “My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” - Tina Fey
  • NaturallyCurlyVixenNaturallyCurlyVixen Posts: 37Registered Users
    I just BC'ed to short 3c hair and its not the comments that bother me its the looks i get. No one says anything really. I mean i get some compliments all phony though except one or 2. I wasnt expecting any but i really wasnt expecting the looks.
    *~Asia~*
    All natural for the second time since October 30, 2010 after cutting the last 3-4 inches of t-laxed hair. I am learning to love and style my curly 3C/4A hair without frying it with the flat iron :mrgreen:

    My goal is to have BSL hair again in 18 months! I'm a PJ and always on the look out for my Holy Grail! :laughing6:
  • NaturallyCurlyVixenNaturallyCurlyVixen Posts: 37Registered Users
    I just BC'ed to short 3c hair and its not the comments that bother me its the looks i get. No one says anything really. I mean i get some compliments all phony though except one or 2. I wasnt expecting any but i really wasnt expecting the looks.
    *~Asia~*
    All natural for the second time since October 30, 2010 after cutting the last 3-4 inches of t-laxed hair. I am learning to love and style my curly 3C/4A hair without frying it with the flat iron :mrgreen:

    My goal is to have BSL hair again in 18 months! I'm a PJ and always on the look out for my Holy Grail! :laughing6:
  • 2Wavy2Wavy Posts: 1Registered Users
    Im new here but I may be one of the older ones 8) so I have a book full of "experiences and insults" about my hair. Im a 2C with cowlicks to top it all off. When I went to high school, the style was straight like Cher used to wear. I was teased endlessly. I didnt know how to do anything with my hair, just let it grow and frizz. One of those comments that has stayed with me through life is when a coworker told me the boss didnt give me a raise because " you never comb your hair" That has to be the strangest comment I ever heard! My hair was brushed, but because it is curly, they thought it was "messy".
  • betweenshadesbetweenshades Posts: 130Registered Users
    I get the "Shirley Temple" thing aaaall the time. I hated it because of the whole "cute kid" connotation. I'm 26, darnit!



    I grew up in Los Angeles, which has the world's biggest population of curl haters. Unless you're an A-list star, of cource; Then it's "BoHo Chic." But I wasn't an A-list star. so, I would get blown straight all the time by people who hadn't the foggiest idea as to how. I feel so bad for my mom knowing that she must have paid a mint for some of my haircuts only to get a daughter who looked like a poodle in return.

    I eventually made her take me to SuperCuts, where there were people there with real hair. Better result, 1/4 of the price. It pays to have curly people cut your hair!

    My favorite was the guy who gave me the frizz comb-over...

    or maybe the 18 year old Hair Cuttery girl who blew it dry with a wide-toothed brush. I asked her to ring me up a hair clip and then put my Roseanadanna hair up in front of her. Haven't been back since.



    Then there are the touchy-feely types:

    "oh, I LOVE your HAIR!!!!"

    *cue the 5 mintues of hair-fondling that turns it into a frizz-fest*

    It's the same people that touch pregnant women they don't know without asking.


    but I digress...


    Most people I went to high school with didn't really care about my hair too much, but the 3-4 people that took a great, personal offense to my curls made up for it:

    There was one girl who was totally BAFFLED that a lilly-white girl had curls. She never said anything bad, but she STARED at my hair constantly. She offered up some advice, which was kind of cool in retrospect, but unsolicited, bad advice is never appriciated.

    One kid in JHS asked where my afro pic was... because my loose corkscrews are SOOO kinky. Idiot.

    A few teachers told me that I should straighten my hair when I went on job interveiws.

    My favorite backhanded compliment! "you have beautiful hair! Why don't you straighten it?" Because it's beautiful, you schmuck!

    And the creme a la creme...

    I was at church and there was a lady from the choir using a curling iron on her hair in the bathroom. I went over next to her to put my hair in a half ponytail when she reaches out, grabs a curl AND STRAIGHTENS A CHUNK OF MY HAIR. :x :shock:

    So I had a mass of wonderful curls, except one half-straight fizzy thing right in front of my face. Thanks ever so.





    wow, that was sufficiantly ADD, wasn't it?
    Sarah - 3B/C, CG since 11/25/05

    DevaCurl and Jessicurl rock my hair care world.

    My Hair Journal

    tiger.gif
  • automaticflowersautomaticflowers Posts: 3,465Registered Users
    And the creme a la creme...

    I was at church and there was a lady from the choir using a curling iron on her hair in the bathroom. I went over next to her to put my hair in a half ponytail when she reaches out, grabs a curl AND STRAIGHTENS A CHUNK OF MY HAIR. :x :shock:

    So I had a mass of wonderful curls, except one half-straight fizzy thing right in front of my face. Thanks ever so.

    :shock: What is WRONG with people?! You don't just do something insane like that to someone!

    I'd have reached over and pulled my fingers through her hair until all the curls fell out and got tangled. Maybe that would teach her. :P
  • simonnnnNsimonnnnN Posts: 22Registered Users
    most hurtful comment
    > "hahahahaha"

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