hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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  • fadfreefadfree Posts: 2Registered Users
    ^^Sarah, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I hate those type of comments, and I wish people would think about what they say.

    I always had some person making a hurtful suggestion. I remember coming to school one day with my hair straightened for the first time, for graduation portraits. One of the boys in my class said to me as I was walking by, "You know, you should do that to your hair more often. It looks much better that way!"

    All I could think was: Gee, thanks! My own NATURAL hair isn't fit for me anymore?
    "Women....who made 'em? God must have been a...genius. Their hair. They say that the hair is everything, you know? Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls, and just wanted to go to sleep forever? ~Bo Goldman
  • msgdfx1msgdfx1 Posts: 106Registered Users
    I just had to share this one. It is kind of funny in a way. This lady was at my job complimented me on my hair. 8 months ago, I transitioned from relaxed to curly. In any case, she later referred to me as the lady with the Jheri Curl. I couldn't believe it. I don't know whether to be hurt by this or not.
    3C and natural for 5 years:angel10:.
  • EvenstarEvenstar Posts: 3Registered Users
    After I spent an hour brushing and blowdrying my hair straight:

    Casual Friend: "Oh, it looks so much less MESSY that way, you should do it all the time!"

    I know she wasn't trying to be hurtful, but its the comments like those that have encouraged me to hate my hair and fry it to death. :roll:
    Former CG then modified CG, now too lazy :P Type 2B/3A (I think...) and still rather annoyed with my hair :P
  • TCKansasKateTCKansasKate Posts: 1Registered Users
    Yeah- I had my share of teasing to. I got my hair cut really short the end of my 7th grade year. I hated it and wanted to grow it out. The next year I rode the bus with some kids who really hated me, they were constantly making fun of it, calling it a fro and other things. I've been called Annie, and curlylocks (one of my teachers did that). But I really do like my curls, I've had curly hair since I was 6 months old, so curls are what makes me... me.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    This just happened to me this past weekend. We went over to our friends house and they noticed a difference in my hair. They thought I had a perm and I said no, I have decided to stop frighting my natural hair and am learning how to properly take care of it and it has helped a ton. One of the ladies was really interested and I gave her a curl ambassador card.

    My other friend commented that I had JBF hair. I told her I didn't know what that meant and she explained bout CFM hair in the 80's. :oops: If you don't know what these letter stand for I really can't explain here but as it was explained to me most people know what it means. (J=Just B=Been, C=Come M=me) And, she thought she was complimenting me :shock:

    Kimberly
  • alguma pessoaalguma pessoa Posts: 619Registered Users
    This just happened to me this past weekend. We went over to our friends house and they noticed a difference in my hair. They thought I had a perm and I said no, I have decided to stop frighting my natural hair and am learning how to properly take care of it and it has helped a ton. One of the ladies was really interested and I gave her a curl ambassador card.

    My other friend commented that I had JBF hair. I told her I didn't know what that meant and she explained bout CFM hair in the 80's. :oops: If you don't know what these letter stand for I really can't explain here but as it was explained to me most people know what it means. (J=Just B=Been, C=Come M=me) And, she thought she was complimenting me :shock:

    Kimberly
    I have never heard anyone say JBF or CFM (I wonder if it is a NC or southern thing)! :lol:

    That explains why many men LOVE curly hair. 8) :wink: :lol:
    We're all born mad. Some remain so.

    br-flag1.gif
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    I have never heard anyone say JBF or CFM (I wonder if it is a NC or southern thing)! That explains why many men LOVE curly hair.

    Maybe it is a NC or Southern thing because I had never heard of it either. She was born and raised in the south. I am a New England transplant :D

    I have gotten quite a few compliments from men in the past week :P To hurtful comments from the curl lacking world :lol:

    Kimberly
  • FidoGwenFidoGwen Posts: 92Registered Users
    Most of the hurtful comments I get are when I straighten my hair. (I'm glad I'm not alone in this anymore!)
    At some point, I don't mind the off-hand comment, but when I straighten my hair it seems like everyone has to say something about how I should straighten it more often. :? :roll:
    By the way, most (if not all) of the hurtful comments I get, are from women/girls. If guys comment on my hair, it's usually a compliment. Even when I put my hair in high pigtails (to make my hair look like dog ears) guys will compliment me. Probably because they don't have the guts! :D
    I'm a 2something/3something. Started modified CG routine on 6/6/05
    Cut more than ten inches from my BSL hair on 8-10-05 and growing it long again
    But we're STILL adjusting. ;-)
  • Heavenly CurlsHeavenly Curls Posts: 2Registered Users
    I never got picked till Junior High, I have no idea why but I decided to chop all my hair off to this really short boy cut, MAJOR Frizz!!! :oops: I swear it looked good on the model in the picture. I went to my first day of school and this guy I didnt even know from the class next to me just started calling me "Tumbleweed" the whole school year as if I wasnt insecure enough with a new hair cut and new school. Then I would go to the girls bathroom and the girls would just look at me puzzled while I was washing my hands and ask "Are you a boy?" Trying to hold back tears I would say no. :cry: Although thinking about it now I can understand why, did I mention I had these huge catipillars for eyebrows. :shock: Oh then when my hair had grown out to my shoulders this guy on my school bus commented "Are you wearing a wig?" Then proceded to tug on my hair. :x The summer before I got into high school I got some pointers from my older sister on how to care for my hair which made a substantual diffrence :D Oh and I plucked my brows LOL! Needless to say I didnt get picked on anymore and everyone actually wanted my hair.
  • XxVonDucheSsexXXxVonDucheSsexX Posts: 8Registered Users
    In my school curly hair is not such a bad thing. It's only the 4a and 4b type hair that everyone likes to make fun of.
  • ILikeMyCurlsILikeMyCurls Posts: 1Registered Users
    Gee, I don't know where I should start.

    My mom used to brush my hair and straighten it constantly and could never understand "why it was so ugly all the time". When I was in 5th grade, she gave up and chopped my hair really short so i had this big afro. I got "Fluffy" "puffball" "big head" And one girl I didn't even know came up to me and said "It's too bad your hair got curly, you used to be pretty".

    In high school I spent hundreds of dollars a year trying to chemically straighten my hair, but it never worked. My culs are stuuborn. :D And people we always telling me I looked so much better with the stright hair, so I kept on doing it. I have since learned my lesson.

    The other night though my boyfriend made me mad when he picked up one of my curls and said "I don't understand why it DOES that! It is so wierd! I tell you curls just aren't normal." :x
    A little past shoulder length, layered, reddish borwn, 3c up on top, 3b in the middle, 3a on the bottom!
  • WenderfulWenderful Posts: 3Registered Users
    All through junior high school my nickname was Bermuda. A boy that sat behind me in French class announced to the whole class that if he stuck his pencil in my hair it would be sucked in and never found agian like the Bermuda triangle. Isn't that lovely. It was much fun to try and explain to new people why everyone called me Bermuda. I HATED junior high.

    Wendy
    I think I'm a cross between a 3b and 3c
    I'll have to post some pics so someone can tell me!!! :)
  • lifeisgoodlifeisgood Posts: 13Registered Users
    When I was really young my hair was super long so only my baby hairs in the front curled, then for some crazy reason I cut my own hair in about 3rd grade which as anyone might guess that turned out horrible, then I started getting it permed to make it more uniform, that's when the rats nest and mop comments came. Finally by seventh grade I had learned to make it straight and did that everyday until a few months ago. I'm trying to get comfortable with my hair but I usually resort to straightening it or putting it back. But I am getting better. If I had those tight ringlets many African-American women have I would the happiest girl in the world, and would never be worried about my curls.
    It's crazy though how those things stick with you and make you so self conscious.
  • kittykat3kittykat3 Posts: 63Registered Users
    last year i didnt do anything to take care of my hair so it was a big tangled mess. EVRY1 told me 2 stragiten my hair. they all said that id better at least straighten it for grad (grade 8 grad) i didn't, of course, i loved the fact that my hair was curly i jsut made little hair things 2 go in it and it lookd nice. still on grad nite every1 was like "u shoulda straightnd it" im like "NO! im never ever as long as i live gonna straightn my hair and even if i do i wont let u c it!!!!!!! :evil: "
    so now im in my new skool and all my old friends are still telling me to straighten it. my reply?
    NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO...
    sumtimes bn stubborn pays off.
    :D
    ...
  • CatjwomanCatjwoman Posts: 8Registered Users
    All the kids in my neighborhood called me witch. :( And I heard countless comments like "your hair is so crazy"; "WHAT is your background?"; and my least-favorite: "I've never seen hair like yours before!"

    I have shoulder length 3C curls. I'm Cuban and Polish....you'd never guess it!
  • kittykat3kittykat3 Posts: 63Registered Users
    Catjwoman wrote:
    All the kids in my neighborhood called me witch.
    lol me and my friends all used to believe we wer witches so if sum1 called me that i never took it as an insult
    ...
  • andie531andie531 Posts: 1Registered Users
    MonnieKuh wrote:
    Now, I absolutely hate it when people tell me "you'd be so beautiful if you'd only straighten your hair!"

    People SAY that to you?

    Trying to think of a snappy comeback :wink:

    Here's one:

    "You know, you'd look a whole lot better if you stood about 50 feet away."
  • heartfuneralheartfuneral Posts: 1Registered Users
    Wow. Ive had nasty comments about my hair only recently (during middle school). That was when I started straightening my hair. I love my hair curly, and I was pretty much experimenting when I straightened it. Heres some of the things I was told. (By my "best friend" nonetheless.)

    1. "You have a big frizzy mop, I could clean the floor with your head."
    That was her comment when I had great, shiny, beautiful hair days. Argh.

    2. "You need to straighten your hair more. You look loads better."
    Personally, I think I look okay with straight hair, but its not as great as my natural hair.

    3. "Buy this product and that, its what I use to get my hair nice and frizz free."
    Whatever. If drowned rat, is your style, Ill keep my frizz.

    4. "My hair is so easy to handle and do things with, unlike yours."
    What. The. Crap. She must not know much about curly hair and I pity her.

    Its safe to say we arent "best" friends anymore.
  • CurlyCanuckCurlyCanuck Posts: 5Registered Users
    I'm hoping I don't rain on anyone's parade (it will cause frizz! hee hee) but I found the person that was hardest on my curls was ME! My fave baby pic of myself has me standing buck naked in a pair of my mom's heels with HUGE Diana Ross hair...I lost my curls around the age of 7 and they returned at 15 (ahhh hormones) and I had NO IDEA what to do with them. I hated everything about my big, frizzy mess. It wasn't until my curly head friend took me under her wing that I figured it out! I still blow dried and flatironed for a long time after that in the wintertime (It's too cold to go out with wet hair here half of the year!) and almost everyone I knew missed my curls. I have quite a few guy friends who loooooove a girl with curls and would just shake their heads when I straightened mine out. So maybe there is hope for all the non-curlies out there! :)
    3a/b CG since 2009
  • felix_las_vegasfelix_las_vegas Posts: 10Registered Users
    When I was at secondary school various people used to tell me that I needed to straighten my hair, that was when it was quite frizzy, though they did it in an insulting way.

    I don't get comments like that now, except for one person, a month ago, who told me that I needed to straighten my hair - to which I replied that they were only jealous. ;)

    My friends all love my curls and only want to straighten it "just to see what it'd look like".
    2C/3A
  • Rastacurl RevisitedRastacurl Revisited Posts: 104Registered Users
    It's only the 4a and 4b type hair that everyone likes to make fun of.

    Why? What sort of school is this?
    Supernappy, superbad, "when are you gonna put a relaxer up in that mess?"shrinking breaking TYPE 5 hair that - against all the odds - is growing quite long :)
  • curlichristicurlichristi Posts: 3Registered Users
    Yeah...I used to have Shirley Temple curls when I was little, 3-7, but I hated them. Cinderella doesn't have curly hair. My mom loved it, but yeah, the one who hated my curls the most was me! When high school rolled around... things weren't so great. Last year, I straightened my hair as much as I could, and before I got it, people would offer to loan me theirs or recommend it to me. One glorious hallelujah day, it stayed straight the whole day...and my best friend said, wow, you're having a GOOD hair day!" She meant well, though. She's the one that wants me to be curlie!
  • noel06noel06 Posts: 12Registered Users
    Oh man, too many to even remember. I guess that a good story is the time that one of my friends did my hair for a formal in 8th grade. She said that she had a really cool idea, and she was one of those straight-hairs who wished she was curly (at least that's what she said), so I figured that she'd work with and not against. So I washed and conditioned my hair, and the first thing that she did was take a paddle brush to it. That should have been my tip-off right there, but as it dried and got bigger and bigger, she started screaming, "I don't know what to do with your hair! There's so much of it!" Finally, my mom stepped in and put it up in a French twist and it looked nice, but oh man, my friend did not know what she was getting into!
    Dark brown BSL 2B - when I was a baby, strangers would ask my mom, "Did you perm your daughter's hair?"

    For the record, that isn't me in my av! Camera crapped out, and so have to make do with pics of twins :p
  • JoshGroban'sRockin'CurlsJoshGroban'sRockin'Curls Posts: 54Registered Users
    A few months ago I went to a beauty college to get my hair done. I'd had good results before, but this time was a NIGHTMARE! The hairdresser had me and my poor hair crying. First she starts to go at my hair (which is probably close to 3 and a half feet long and pretty thin at the moment because of a stressful year) with a brush, and not just any brush one of the wire ones that remind me of something to use on a grill. Then when she couldn't figure out why (after me telling her what was wrong in my broken Spanish since this chick didn't speak English to not use a brush on my hair) my hair wouldn't cooperate she ran to get the manager. After the manager came they sat there an talked about my hair and it's condition like we (my hair and I) weren't even there. I finally got the manager to listen but I will never go back!

    When I was in the fourth grade I went in for a trim at a REALLY expensive salon since no one seemed to be able to deal with my curls. That woman (who by the way was discussing my hair with my mom and complaining about her own short hait that just didn't seem to grow) cut off two feet of my hair. I went from having hair to my hips to having hair to my shoulder blades. I am still tramatized just thinking about it! And the worst thing is she laughed when my mom asked what the heck happened!
    CurlyCarli

    Shoot for the moon and even if you miss you'll still be among the stars.
    -Unknown
  • UzumakiUzumaki Posts: 2Registered Users
    Wow, I'm shocked at the curly hair backlash you guys have suffered from adults.

    Really the only thing I can remember is from back in preschool, when this girl told me that she could run her fingers through her hair, and I couldn't. But, y'know, 5-year-olds. Also, I hated my hair when I was that age. Curly hair is not fun when you're wee, is it?

    Oh, there was one other time. A woman I knew before I cut my hair (I always kept my hair braided when it was long), mentioned that afterward, I "looked like Shirley Temple." A mild insult, I thought, because she followed it up by saying she liked it.

    Take heart, though, because I've gotten so many more compliments. When I cut my hair off (it was down to the small of my back, then I cut it off and donated it), the woman sitting next to me told her stylist "Can I have hair like that?" and pointed at me. In jest, of course, but it was nice and flattering.
  • lafeistlafeist Posts: 72Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    How about pube head? I think people think they are being original. Another incident was when some girls walked by and said "nice perm" in a crappy way. How about the stylists who tell you how beautiful your hair is and then in the next breath say, "Let's blowdry it straight!"
    Mostly 3B with some 3C. Faves :Sap Moss co and a weekly Sap Moss shampoo.
  • EllaElla Posts: 392Registered Users
    I've mostly been fortunate, my straight-haired friends were always getting perms and telling me I was lucky my hair was curly. The only real negative comments I got were from an ex-boyfriend, who would tell me he liked straight hair better (preceeded by "don't take this the wrong way") Needless to say, we broke up! Karma, however, was in motion, because a few months later he was calling me trying to get me back and I got to tell him that it was TOO LATE, I was dating someone else. Even better, that new guy eventually became my husband, and he LOOOOVES my curly hair, still tells me its gorgeous after 13 years!
    Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. – P.J. O'Rourke

    There is no distinctly native American criminal class save Congress. – Mark Twain
  • usnagirl1usnagirl1 Posts: 1Registered Users
    I have been blessed with hair that is naturally curly but no extremely so--I can straighten it fairly easily and wear it many different ways. I used to wear my hair straight or blow-dried wavy all the time, but recently I started wearing it curly, and, fortunately for me, guys love it. I get compliments on my hair all the time :D The person who makes to worst comments about my hair is the frustrated me :)
  • spacegirlspacegirl Posts: 149Registered Users
    This isn't really an insult, just a funny comment one of my husband's aunts made. He has a few rich Greenwich, Connecticut relatives–they're like WASPS, only they're Irish Catholic. Go figure. Anyway, they all have straight brown or blond hair, ranging from ear length down to the shoulders. I have long, below shoulder length curly dark brown hair. We went to his uncle's funeral a few years ago and his aunt (who was the widow!) gave me a hug and said, "Angie," (they all call me Angie, even though my name is Angela and absolutely no one else in my entire life has ever called me Angie) "Angie," she said as she put her hands on both sides of my head, "You have such fun hair!"

    Me, My husband and his sister still crack up about that comment. It's like their family thinks I'm so exotic and ethnic because I'm Italian and I have curly hair! Haha. They're really great people and I don't even mind that they call me Angie any more, but they are so silly.

    I also get comments from people who see me when I occasionally straighten my hair. They always say "Wow! You look awesome with straight hair! So sophisticated!" which isn't really an insult, but it's a backhanded way of saying "Man, you usually look like a freaky witch hippie!"
    Angela: 3A bsl-length Modified CG Product Junkie

    http://flickr.com/photos/trippyswell/sets/1152060/
  • candidcandid Posts: 2Registered Users
    Hi all. This is my first time on these boards and I love reading what people have to say. Can curly heared people be considered a sub-culture?

    Anyway, when I was in middle school, people called me "afro" because I had curly hair and unfortunate hair cuts. I am 31 now and I have started embracing my hair in the last few years. I never used to like anyone to touch my head because I hated how dry and yucky my hair felt. Now that I found better hair products, I don't care any more.

    Last year for halloween, I dressed up like a tree and put fake birds in my hair. After all the years of having hair like a "bird's nest" I decided to make fun of it. Everyone thought it was great.

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