CurlTalk

hurtful comments people've made about your hair

lotuslotus Posts: 7Registered Users
I was wondering if anyone had people make rude comments about their curly hair that really stayed with them? We can commisserate together! SOrry if this has been done.

I'm 26 now but these comments have stuck with me and given me a really negative image of my hair:

1 Walking down the school bus aisle I overheard one guy say "you know whose hot (referring to me)," guy 2 says "Eww with that huge mass of hair," "guy 1 says "WHo cares just put a bag over her head she has huge..." :evil: :evil: :evil:


2 In JH 1 of my best friends was running her hands through my hair. I asked her to stop saying it messed up my curls and I was having a bad hair day. SHe said "You *ARE* a bad hair day" :oops: :roll: In HS this same girl said, after I came to school with a temp straight style "YOu should keep it that way...."

3 In JH this boy said my hair felt like "ruberized sheep wool." :shock: :x

4 In preshool this girl put mud in my hair. And made some crappy comment that escapes me now.

5 When I was 10 I went shopping w/my grandma who has fine silky hair. WHenever a sales lady waited on us srandma would say "Look what the wind does to our hair"--desperately trying to smooth down my locks. Resistance is futile grandma :D

6 In hs my boyfriend saw a childhood picture of me. He said "Oh my God yo had a FRO". THere's nothing wrong with fros, but It wasn't anywhere close to a fro. Ignorance, ignorance.

7 In 7th grade a stylist chopped off 3/4 of my long hair when I'd asked for a trim. When I walked in a classroom to deliver a letter, everyone simultaneuosly gasped--DAAAAAAMMMMMN her hair is so frizzy. DAAAAMMMMN.

8 In the locker room in JH the girls would always tell me to get a relaxer.....unsolicited advice.

ANyway, I feel better now. SOrry for the vent. ANy similar experiences?
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Comments

  • Botticelli VenusBotticelli Venus Posts: 109Registered Users
    Sounds like THEY need to relax!

    I went to a convent school and the nuns HATED my hair. It was like that character in Jane Eyre where she has naturally curly hair so they cut it off. My mom cut it off till I was about 8, then gave me home perms in an effort to "control" it and then finally after a straight haired "pal" said with a look like "the patient is dying" -- "I don't know WHAT you're going to do about those CURLS" my mom resorted to straightening it chemically which made me the only little kid in school with split ends.

    These days there's a girl at work who tells me she has thick "corkscrew curls" if she didn't straighten her hair -- and when I tell her I like my hair curly she says "You DO??!" Another girl has curly hair but straightens it sometimes and hates her curls too.

    At my last job the first time the manager saw my hair curly she said it looked like I'd had a big chunk cut out of it. But then she had some pretty weird hairstyles, and another person who worked there said they preferred my hair curly.
    Julie Benz: "I really loved on Angel when we would do the flashbacks and I'd have the big, wild, messy long hair that was thick and full and that's how God meant for me to look."
  • sugarsweetkk08sugarsweetkk08 Posts: 1Registered Users
    [/b]I've had my share of bad comments about my hair. Which is why I still am very self conscious of it. I'm not as bad as I used to be but I remember being the sixth grade and the guy I had the hugest crush on said he didn't like me because " my hair was like a big mop." I was so upset, my mom didn't help ,she told me to cut it short and straighten it daily, that's what she did. I don't think I wore it down for months after that.
    *The Falcons gonna fly all over ya, so bring your best game cuz we're gonna bring our best game. See ya there*
    How about them Falcons!?
  • EuroCurlyEuroCurly Posts: 7Registered Users
    My hair isn't even that curly (some days I'm more of a wavy), but when I was little, some children at school called me Zulu because of my hair. I was the only one whose hair wasn't completely straight, and that, in combination with my rather full lips, prompted them to call me that. At first I didn't even understand it; I thought of Zulu's as proud warriors and didn't understand that it was meant as an insult!

    My grandma, who had straight hair herself, never understood my hair. She was always complaining that it looked too frizzy and always wanted to brush and comb it in order to make it look 'better'. I can remember that it always hurt so much when she tried to comb it, and now I know that all that brushing actually caused frizz!
  • SuZenSuZen Posts: 1,595Registered Users
    I had a pretty difficult time with my hair as a teenager. Straight hair was in then (the late 60s) and there were not a lot of styling options then...I used to roll my hair up in giant rollers and sit under a big hood dryer. That gave it a semi-acceptable "flip" -- ever see the Patty Duke show? But if it rained the whole thing just fuzzed out. Lots of bad hair days.

    All I can say is that as time goes by, 1) you will get better control of your hair and 2) your peers will grow up and stop being such jerks.
  • lotuslotus Posts: 7Registered Users
    All I can say is that as time goes by, 1) you will get better control of your hair and 2) your peers will grow up and stop being such jerks.[/quote]

    --Yay! Actually, it was not till college that I started to get hair complements!
    People were just more mature, and if they didn't like my hair they didn't say anything about it.
  • SuZenSuZen Posts: 1,595Registered Users
    Yes, and teenagers can be savage about anyone differing from the norm. People get more relaxed about appearance as they grow up and mature (we hope).
  • MipMip Posts: 233Registered Users
    I was one of very few girls in primary school with curly hair and I got teased a fair bit. The main insults were 'birds' nest' and 'bush' and 'you look like you've stuck your fingers in an electric socket'. It was more annoying than hurtful, but I so wished for straight hair. I was always being asked if I curled my hair too.
  • TamrinTamrin Posts: 43Registered Users
    I got called "Sambo", "Sheep," "Poodle" and "Frizzball" on a regular basis when I was in elementary school and junior high school. I too was a kid during the sixties, when super-straight hair was popular. So I remember the big rollers and the flip.

    My mother, who has fine hair with a little bit of wave, used to curse when combing my hair out. She always told me "your hair looks so messy -- don't you ever comb it?" even if I'd just combed it five minutes earlier! Little did we know that the constant combing and brushing was what was making my hair look so messy and frizzy! Now, she complains that I use gel in my hair; that it looks "hard." Well, I have to use gel, or it'll be a huge mass of frizz! Can't win with some people. Other people compliment me on my curls, and her idea of being helpful is to suggest, "That girl who straightened your hair a few years back did such a nice job, why don't you go back to her?" Because my hair was damaged and breaking off, maybe? And because having my hair straight seems kinda flat and dull to me now?
  • RednaturalcurlsRednaturalcurls Posts: 1,814Registered Users
    I was called poodle, frizzy, all the generic comments but I think the worst was someone stuck a sticker on my back that said "I have nappy hair" I am a pale white girl so that does not apply nor would I ever say anyone else has nappy hair because I think it's mean. I also heard cracks about how much hairspray, etc I used. No one seemed to grasp that at the time it was the only way I knew to keep it under control. I tried to straighten for awhile but that was just too much work and if it rained or the wind blew too hard, forget it. I spent pretty much all my school years in a ponytail or bun. Sometimes I wish the people that made those comments could see my now but then I think their opinions probably haven't changed much, too small minded.
    Hair Type: mix of 3's, growing out an angled bob, color-treated red.
    Current products: GVP conditioning balm for co-wash and leave in, Curl Junkie Curls in a Bottle, Pattern Pusha and Garnier Anti-humidity hairspray
    Location:Sunny Florida
    Hair idol: Kimberly Schlapman from Little Big Town
  • MitcheMitche Posts: 2Registered Users
    Some "friends" in high school used to call me "tumbleweed" because they said I looked like a tumbleweed with eyes.

    My mother always asks me if I stuck my finger in an electric socket to get my hair to look like that (I got my hair from her and she usually puts hers up in a really tight bun because she doesn't like the curl). :evil:
  • musing_curlsmusing_curls Posts: 2Registered Users
    whoa! My fellow curlies have had it a lot worse than i. I haven't gotten any comments about my hair, all my friends see to love it, strangers tell me they envy it, i even had one ask to touch it. But then i didnt start wearing my hair curly untill i was in eighth grade, so i suppose i was mostly past the 'teasing' age in school.
    siggy.png
  • backtonaturebacktonature Posts: 5Registered Users
    Just last year - out of the blue my mom said "With that nice job you have you should be able to go to a good (expensive) stylist and get a good cut or something" (I've had $120 hair visits, and I'm 37 so I just laughed) but...I was in the process of growing it longer, and she made me feel so insecure, so I went and had it all cut off in a "shirley henderson" Brady bunch cut, and my husband hated it. I have very thin, fine curly hair, and all my life she (and others) kept telling me that people with thin hair should NEVER grow it long. The boys in school said I looked like a boy.

    My husband talked me into growing it back out, and now that I've adopted a modified CG routine without blow dryers and curling irons, my hair seems a lot healthier, and he loves my shoulder lenghth curls. The women at work all said, I thought you liked your hair short, are you growing it out, and I proudly say "yes", and they men at work seem to notice me more which helps my confident. So I'm learning to love me...
    2a/3a thin, fine, half wavy/half curly.. half crazy
    Growing long - CO and Low Poo - Biolage Gelee and Aloe Vera Gel - Ouidad deep treat
    ______________________________
    "learning to love me"
  • CaryCary Posts: 102Registered Users
    curls are sexy, i dont care what anyone says
    when you hook up an EKG to a tree you'll get a heartbeat every 15 mins
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    my boyfriend like to "tousel" my hair. he rubs the palm of his hand all over it super fast and i hate it! i tell him to stop because hes messing up my hair and he always laughs and says that you cant mess up my hair. that makes me angry because rubbing my curly helmet DOES mess it up and makes it frizzy!!!
  • TriscurlTriscurl Posts: 1Registered Users
    Being in a group of friends that are all anime/japanophiles (and all of them, save my boyfriend, like asian women with "hair they can run their hands through". It's fun to hang out with only boys![/sarcasm]) I get quite a few comments. The other Bush is my current nickname :evil:
    The one that's affected me the most through my life, however, was the first day of 3rd grade. After asking a hairstylist to layer my then waist-length hair as it had been previously (and even showing pictures! OF MYSELF!) she proceeded to chop it all above my ears. The horror. Poodle, clown, you name it. Blech. Children are so cruel.
    3b/c, sometimes a just to spite me
    Dark dark plummy red, mid-back length
    Currently using: frizz-ease mousse.
    Thinking of using: boots curling cream and curl keeper.
  • plinkplink Posts: 103Registered Users
    All thru grade school(you know, the formative years) my hair was cut above my ears cause all the hair stylists would say" She has such difficult hair" and " She can't grow it long, it will just grow out and be a bush".Got mistaken for a boy all the time. Didn't help that my sister had loong straight hair and never let me forget it.

    But the most hurtful was from a guy I really adored. He said "Can't you do something about that BIG hair". Ha. That was when I was taming it. Serves him right. He's pretty bald now.

    I look for ways to make my hair bigger and wilder now. Don't know if it's maturity or stupidity but I love my hair.
    I have finally realized I look my best when my hair tells me how it is going to fall, and I just make suggestions.

    3A BSL
  • MonnieKuhMonnieKuh Posts: 1Registered Users
    As a junior in high school, I'm definitely no stranger to insults about my hair. I was another one of those who had boy-short hair in elementary school, and it didn't grow out gracefully, to say the least. I had so many insults about my hair in middle school. Now, I absolutely hate it when people tell me "you'd be so beautiful if you'd only straighten your hair!"


    ----
    I'm a shoulder-length 3b/3c, very dark brown.
    Dark brown, 3b/3c. It's shoulder length at the moment. :)
  • SuZenSuZen Posts: 1,595Registered Users
    Hang in there, MonniKuh. By the end of the school year they'll all be jealous, since waves and curls are coming into style in a big way.
  • iguana187iguana187 Posts: 1Registered Users
    I've heard all the same horrible remarks as everyone else as a child. People can be really rude. The great thing is now that I know how to deal with my curls and they are full and natural, I get tons of positive remarks every day. My hair is the first thing people notice about me and I've had several offers from people who want to buy it. (weird, I know.) Anyway, my point is that when you embrace your curls, other people will start to notice how wonderful they are! :-)
  • CanItBeChristineCanItBeChristine Posts: 6,343Registered Users
    MonnieKuh wrote:
    Now, I absolutely hate it when people tell me "you'd be so beautiful if you'd only straighten your hair!"

    People SAY that to you?

    Trying to think of a snappy comeback :wink:
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    i always say, "ARE YOU GOING TO DO IT FOR ME?" and then i let them know that i have to be up for either work or school at 6:15 a.m. and that they will have to straighten it every day since its so curly.

    i actually had 1 person try. and she failed. needless to say, she didnt make another comment about straightening my hair ever again. and thats when i had a realxer!!! (ive got super curly hair)
  • Curly_toppsCurly_topps Posts: 1Registered Users
    Yeah - people wouldn't let me play hide and seek at one point, because i had curly hair, it was different you see. Heaven forbid - i might have spoilt the game.

    One of my supposed "best" friends, once told me that my hair isn't curly it's frizzy. She was one of those, who had poker straight hair (flat and limp hehe) any slight bit of volume in her hair, she'd throw a fit because it was "frizzy". I tried to reassure her, "it's not frizzy, look at my hair" she replied with "but your hair is always frizzy, it s'posed to be".
    Curly Girly x x
  • MedusacurlMedusacurl Posts: 3Registered Users
    After reading all the posts on hurtful hair comments I had to contribute.

    I actually didn't know I had wavy/curly hair until I was in college! This is due to my father's girlfriend (an unnamed hairdresser), who forced me to brush through my hair everyday with a huge paddle brush, which resulted in a hairdo not unsimilar to the ones you see on the garnier fructis or infusium commercials. She even had my hair spiral-permed when I was 9 to make it look neater, which only resulted in me having long dry, frizzy poodle curls. Like I said before, until I moved out of my house in college, I didn't know I had curly hair. So alas, all throughout junior high and highschool I would brush through my hair mulitple times a day, hoping it would 'calm down' and just look like everyone else's instead of like a d@mn hobo's. Ironically this made my hair even worse and resulted in choice comments like the following:

    1) Unnamed brainless football jock (jr. high)- Signed in my yearbook so affectionately--- "Comb your hair some more b3tch!"
    -Thanks buddy, I hope you have no hair on your head to comb when our 10 year renuion comes around!!!!
    2) Two pancaked-on makeup artists at an expensive NYC salon where I was receiving an expensive makeover- "Why is your hair all curly? Oh my god the stylist forget to straighten out her hair! Call him up here now he has to fix it!"
    -Sorry ladies. I wanted my hair to be natural, unlike your flat hair! Maybe that sounds apalling to you, but I think it is horrifying that you need to spend an hour a day doing your hair and then go to work and force everyone into a similar state of hair slavery.
    PS- the ladies also reminded me that my eyebrows were "f6cked up!" Thanks Girls!
    3) Finally my sweet boyfriend. He's the one who crowned me 'Medusa". It took 15 minutes to explain to him why this nickname was not a compliment, and he still doen't get it!
    -thanks for the vent and all the advice on the board. I'm praying for a miracle with my next haircut. Has anyone on the board went to the Hair Cult salon in Hoboken, NJ
    -Andrea
    -somewhere btwn a 2B and 2C, embracing the wave
  • jsmlygrljsmlygrl Posts: 35Registered Users
    years ago alot of people were asking me if I wanted to straighten my hair. I was curious at one point and let a friend of my sister's blow dry it straight. It took hours, I thought it looked horrible. Two hours later, it barely looked like anything was done to it. Not a lot of people saw that particular hair style, so some continued to ask me if I ever wanted to straighten it. No one has said anything for a while now until I started at my current job and a coworker started saying that she wants to see my hair straight. I think she even gave up now. That same coworker looked at me like I'm nuts when I tried to explain to her why you should not brush curly hair when its dry. Another one actually wondered how I can style it in the morning if I dont brush it. (because you know, if you dont brush it in the morning its gross!!)

    For years, I hated my curls, it just gets out of control and impossible to style. I'm just starting to like my hair, I'm learning how to deal with it, what to do and not to do. Next straight haired person who asks me to straighten my hair, will be asked to curl theirs ;)
  • jsmlygrljsmlygrl Posts: 35Registered Users
    Medusacurl wrote:
    Has anyone on the board went to the Hair Cult salon in Hoboken, NJ
    -Andrea

    I havent been there, but if you do end up going, can you please post about it, or at least pm me if you like it or not. I'm looking for a good salon in NJ also :) Going to Ouidad next weekend (1st time), but its way to expensive to go there regularly, I dont even know how thats gona turn out :?
  • sydneyksydneyk Posts: 4Registered Users
    Andrea's post really cracks me up... very funny, yes I also sometimes wish people who tease me about my hair will lose it all prematurely hahahah....

    My old housemate in college called me lionhead... that's really stuck with me

    One of my guy friends who was standing behind me once said you need condition your hair majorly

    Off and on my colleagues will comment that my hair is really really messy... they just don't understand... humph
  • DolphinCurlsDolphinCurls Posts: 370Registered Users
    I also had a friend with extremely fine hair that would always complain about frizz even if one strand was out of place. When I tried to reply, she's like your hair is always like that. It hurt me.

    Until recently, my mom insisted I straighten my hair even though there were days when I wanted to show my curls and waves off. She was embarassed by my unruly hair (even though it's HER fault) and made me straighten it which made it frizz out even worse. Now that I have learned to use a gel and diffuser, it doesn't frizz out that much. Because I used to straighten my hair, nobody could complain about the curls. But they always complained about the frizz.
    3A/2C combination of ringlets and waves :nike:
  • sweetpeacurlisweetpeacurli Posts: 343Registered Users
    I've never had issue with my curls. My whole family is curly and, I have to say (modesty isn't my strong suit), I think I have the nicest curls of the group. People always used to tell me that they loved my curls, that I was so lucky, etc., etc. I asked hairdressers to straighten my hair after trims a couple of times just for fun, but I knew I'd be going back to being my curl-proud self the next day.

    Then for whatever reason I got into straightening it. I suppose I was in a "phase." I wanted something different. Most people I knew complained about my straight hair and told me they liked it better curly. After about a year, I got sick of the hassle and started wearing it curly again. I love it and can't imagine going back to wearing it straight anytime soon.

    Only one friend has given me any grief over it, and she makes me so angry that I just want to scream. She shows me infomercials for "miracle" products when she knows I'm not interested. She brings it up on occasion. I keep telling her how much I like my curls and how NOT interested in straightening I am. At first I tried to be polite - it takes a long time, it's damaging, etc., etc. Now I just snap at her. I don't like my hair straight! The worst thing she ever said was that straight hair "looks so nice if you're dressing up." Like curly hair is lazy and too casual, and makes someone look like a slob. That's the only time I've ever really felt angry at someone for their attitude towards curls... so I guess I've been very lucky to have curly support around.

    The cutest thing ever was when my darling little brother told me he didn't like my hair straight because he felt like I was being unfaithful to our curly family. What a doll he is!
    Sulfate and Silicone-free since 2005
    CO-wash convert since October 2010
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    Twitter: @sweetpeacurli

    Currently loving:
    • Vo5 tea therapy conditioners
    • Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose conditioner
    • Giovanni Direct leave-in
    • Biosilk Rock Hard Gelee
    I am now completely out of the closet as the craziest of crazy cat ladies. I own it. I embrace it. I am one with the crazy.
  • PoodleDooPoodleDoo Posts: 24Registered Users
    I think we've all had bad experiences growing up with our curly hair. I really don't recall being teased. My mom used to keep my hair super-short when I was little.....I looked like a pixie. Then in junior high....I started letting my hair grow, but I didn't know how to take care of it.....I brushed it all the time, which made it frizzy and BIG. I have some really bad school pictures!!! :lol:
    As I had said before in another post, I really didn't get a handle on my hair until I was about 20. I finally grew my hair long enough to where I love it. It took years of fighting and trying every product on the market and learning how to style it, but it finally looks they way I want it.
    Now, one of my adult friends gave me the nickname "Poodledoo"....he calls me that all the time....so that's how I log in here. :D
  • SCGSCG Posts: 5,416Registered Users
    Gah, I had so many!

    Let's see...

    1) In 7th grade, I attended a private art class. I was the only person in the class with curly hair, just so you know. A couple of hours before the class, I had gotten my hair cut. As I usually did, I asked the stylist to straighten it for me, since I thought (then) it looked best on me. One of the girls came up to me (you know, poker straight absolutely NO body) and said "OHMIGOSH, Sarah, you look soooo much prettier now that you straightened your hair, you should do that more often!" I remember wanting to slap her across the face, but I just said "Euh... thanks..." and walked away half wanting to cry.

    2) It was actually a couple of days after the previous story, just so you know. ;) I was going upstairs after a shower, and after using my hair products and stuff, my brother (8 at the time) walked up to me and said "Eww, sarah, I hate it when you make your hair curly again, you're not as pretty." I didn't even say anything at that, I just sort of walked away.

    It made me feel good though, when I got millions of compliments on my newly cut curly hair, even from people I didn't know. :-D

    Sarah

    "And death is at your doorstep
    And it will steal your innocence
    But it will not steal your substance
    But you are not alone in this"

    “My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” - Tina Fey
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