CurlTalk

my mom says she doesn't like my curly hair :(

I used to straighten my hair a lot, but I decided to stop once I started the CG routine. I felt really good about wearing my hair curly and I hadn't straightened it for about 3 months, until the other day when I got my hair cut and decided to get it straightened just for a change. When I got home my mom raved about how good it looked and how it suits me so much better than my curly hair and insisted that I should straighten it more often.

Then today I washed it and was really happy with how my curls looked after the cut and said to my mom, "SEE! do you really think my curls are bad?" and she said, "well they aren't BAD... but your hair just looks so much better straight, the curls just do nothing for you. well honestly, i don't like your curls". :evil: Agh!! I finally like my 3b curls after YEARS of hating them, and my mom tells me they're ugly! It's so frustrating! I actually have really nice curls, and I'm just so sick of all this crap against curly hair...

Comments

  • DoodlesDoodles Posts: 1,984Registered Users
    How can they do nothing for you? They ARE you, kwim? :lol: I'm sorry your mom was being so insensitive! I know other curlies will have more advice for ya....just want to let you know not to let opinion get to you. You're hair is beautiful!! :D
    2A/2B, fine, normal porosity

    Growing out a pixie as of November 2013 :elephant:

    Shampoo: Elucence MBS & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
    Conditioner: Elucence MBC & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
    Leave-in: CJ BeautiCurls
    Stylers: BA gel & AG Re:coil

    Product Junkie that keeps falling off the wagon!:tongue3:
  • CurlyJoviFanCurlyJoviFan Posts: 65Registered Users
    Ok so you love your Mum, of course, but you're your own person and if you want to wear your curls, then wear them! I'm sure as she sees how happy and confident you are with them she'll come round.
    Don't know what my hair type is really!!

    pw: hairdrama
    Last time I used straightners: Friday 17th May (I'm really trying now!)
  • newcurlygrlnewcurlygrl Posts: 129Registered Users
    Weeeelllll, I don't want to contribute to the delinquency of a minor (I'm assuming) ;) but I'm the kinda girl that does the opposite of what my mom thinks. Not in the big things, just in things like fashion and stuff like that. If we ever go shopping together and she says "oo, I like that" about a shirt or whatever I quickly put it back on the rack. LOL

    I say wear your hair the way you want (doesn't she?) and be proud of your beautiful curls! I'd love to have 3b curls!! {hugs}
    ~Melanie~ 2B/C depending on my hair's mood
    Trying to find a routine my hair likes!
    bg433020.jpg[
  • medusahairmedusahair Posts: 3,515Registered Users
    My mom doesn't like my music or my movies, they're not supposed to like the same things we do or else we'd just be clones ya know?
    You'll just have to get your curly compliments here is all :D Curly is all the rage now, haven't you noticed how many shows and movies have curly haired actors now? Even straighties are mimicing curls, we're in vogue baby!
    2c/3a?
    Low porosity, medium texture.
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2FMedusahair%2F" class="Popup

    If it smells good put it in your hair, if it tastes good spit it out!
  • newcurlygrlnewcurlygrl Posts: 129Registered Users
    That's true, I have noticed that there are a lot more curlies on tv. I'd like to see more wavies, though. LOL Then I wouldn't feel like such an oddball. ;)
    ~Melanie~ 2B/C depending on my hair's mood
    Trying to find a routine my hair likes!
    bg433020.jpg[
  • fluffywonderdoodlefluffywonderdoodle Posts: 316Registered Users
    well naturally i told my mom i'm never straightening it again. :) i agree with what everyone said, but it's frustrating when even your mom doesn't like your curls! by the way, i just made a flickr with pictures of my curls...
  • curlyincollegecurlyincollege Posts: 175Registered Users
    it can be tough whenever your mom disapproves of something that you like, but it can be particularly hurtful if she dislikes something that's a part of you--your style, your music, your weight, your hair (the list goes on). as difficult as that is and as much as you want your mom's approval, remember that personal decisions like this belong to YOU and you only. as CurlyJoviFan said, you are your own person, so if your curls are important to you, then enjoy them!

    also, i looked at your photos just now, and your curls are GORGEOUS! :D
    This site has released my inner PJ demon... :)

    I'm a 2b/3a in a perpetual search for the products that will actually give me a good hair day in this brutal heat and humidity!
  • DoodlesDoodles Posts: 1,984Registered Users
    also, i looked at your photos just now, and your curls are GORGEOUS! :D

    I agree!! I stand by my statement!! :)
    2A/2B, fine, normal porosity

    Growing out a pixie as of November 2013 :elephant:

    Shampoo: Elucence MBS & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
    Conditioner: Elucence MBC & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
    Leave-in: CJ BeautiCurls
    Stylers: BA gel & AG Re:coil

    Product Junkie that keeps falling off the wagon!:tongue3:
  • zeldagoblinzeldagoblin Posts: 575Registered Users
    I know how you feel. My dad thinks my curls are ugly! He doesn't even look me in the face when I wear my hair down, its as though he can't bear to look at the abomination that is my curly hair!! :shock:

    It doesn't help when people rave about how great your hair looks straight, I've had that too, "you look younger, smarter, more chic, stylish", and on it goes. I even started to believe it myself, and on my down days, I still do.

    These days, if people are negative about my hair, I turn it into a joke, look horrified at them and say "SHHHHHH, my curls are sensitive, and they can hear you!" or something silly like that. NC.com has really boosted my love of my curls. I

    Hats off to you for sticking to your guns on this. Your curls are lovely, they suit you beautifully, and they show off all the different shades and tones in your hair, something I think straight hair can't do quite so well. And don't forget you have an ARMY of curlies on your side here :twisted:
    Here are my curly pics, password is fuzz

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fzeldagoblin%2F" class="Popup

    But then again, too few to mention...
  • juvjoyjuvjoy Posts: 670Registered Users
    Well I think your curls are beautiful! They are so uniform & fun! My mom, husband & even I like my hair better straight to - it's tough.

    Kim
  • newcurlygrlnewcurlygrl Posts: 129Registered Users
    Oh my goodness, your hair is GORGEOUS!!

    It's really hard when your husband doesn't like your hair. He likes curly hair (he says) but then he'll throw out a comment like "you look homeless". Then the next day he'll say "Wow, I love your hair today!" Uhhh...it's the same that it was when you said I was homeless!
    ~Melanie~ 2B/C depending on my hair's mood
    Trying to find a routine my hair likes!
    bg433020.jpg[
  • BrioBrio Posts: 1,432Registered Users

    These days, if people are negative about my hair, I turn it into a joke, look horrified at them and say "SHHHHHH, my curls are sensitive, and they can hear you!" or something silly like that.

    That is a GREAT comeback for any negative comment made by anyone! NC.com should make this a sticky note and put it at the top of the forum.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Frizz Happens!
    my Fotki hair journey/experiment diary PW is brio (and I really need to update it!)

    3A hair; coloring with henna/indigo since July 2009; normally follow the CG method. Still searching for my HG products!
  • JaxieJaxie Posts: 1,282Registered Users
    Well, I'm sorry that your mom feels that way about your curls. Does she have straight hair or does she straighten hers?
    Anyway, your curls are gorgeous! I wish that mine were that tight! I think you look better with the curls! The curls give you flair! With straight hair I think you would just blend in with the crowd!
    ~~jax
    2c or 3a Cut most of my hair off in July '12 and am working on regrowing it.
  • NuttyHairNuttyHair Posts: 75Registered Users
    I think your hair looks GREAT! Stay confident and mom will back off!
    3B, I think w/very thick hair, shoulder length. Fall hair: Low Poo, TS, CK, Aloeba leave in, recoil or RR, plop, BRHG or SMU, no blow dry.
  • banjocurlbanjocurl Posts: 1,020Registered Users
    well naturally i told my mom i'm never straightening it again. :) i agree with what everyone said, but it's frustrating when even your mom doesn't like your curls! by the way, i just made a flickr with pictures of my curls...

    your curls are just adorable!! i am probably older than your mother and you should hear the crap i get about my curls and my long 3b hair. i just laugh. when my mom was alive sometimes she'd look and ask if i had combed my hair lately. too bad she did not live to see me as a curly girl with my new routine. give your mom a big hug and tell her you love her, and that your hair will stay curly because YOU like it. (as do the folks on nc.com!)
    banjo
    Susan suburban NY
    3b going gray, not thick, waist length when wet, a bit below shoulders when dry
    CG since 11/11/04
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fbanjolady%2F" class="Popup
    PW: banjo
    HG: suave and honey for co-wash, deva, i use garnier fructis regular CO's or boots pink or white as leave ins and LA looks sport gel. plop w microfiber turban, then curl towel scrunch, then another turban.i sleep with the turban on. little one minute hair styling videos /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fuser%2Flazycurls" class="Popup
  • KurlyKaeKurlyKae Posts: 3,413Registered Users
    I'm a mom, and I think my hair is beautiful! In fact I'm disappointed that neither of my daughters have any curl to their hair yet, though puberty is what brought out my curls, so time will tell!

    Honestly, it seems like a lot of people will see curly/wavy hair as messy. I did in the past. But our hair isn't messy, it's natural and healthy! I think it's worse when your mom thinks that way. It's just that she's got that parental thing going: Brush your hair, wash your face, tuck in your shirt, isn't that skirt too tight/short... this is one of the only times I will tell a daughter to stand strong...you know what is best for you and you hair, it's wonderful.
    3a/2c
    Trader Joe's Tingle conditioner wash/ conditioner
    AG re:coil, LALooks gel, John Frieda Secret Weapon
  • 2happy2happy Posts: 5,138Registered Users
    My mom will say something like "your so lucky to have those curls" and then she will start messing with them....like she's trying to put them in their "correct spot". LOL. Good luck with that Mom.

    I think you have gorgeous curls. I have curl envy :wink:
    Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it.....Piss on it and walk away.
    Location - WI
  • IndianCurlsIndianCurls Posts: 54Registered Users
    The thing about mothers is that sometimes when they are trying to help you out by giving motherly advice, their comments can sometimes be hurtful. Your mom is used to seeing your hair straight, and now that you are wearing your hair curly you have an entirely different look, which is a big change that will take her some time to get comfortable with. After a while she will probably prefer your curly locks to your straight look. But in any case, who cares what other people think? It's your hair, so wear it the way you want!
    Black, shoulder length 3B

    Law Student at Wayne State University, Class of 2010
  • CurlyQTPieCurlyQTPie Posts: 447Registered Users
    I'm sorry that your mom hurt your feelings. I'm sure she didn't mean to. I think hair looks best in its natural state, be it curly or straight or whatever -- just healthy hair! At least you love your curls and that is what is really most important!
    3B with some 3a. Fell off but am now back on the CG bandwagon and looking for my HG products.