What would you do if your DD told you ...

cajuncurlscajuncurls Posts: 270Registered Users
she was a lesbian?

When I told her I was pregnant back in January, she dropped this one on me. It's not like I wasn't expecting it. I think I've known since she was about 7. She's never been like my friends' girls, in fact, she's quite bossy and pushy and extremely driven academically.
I couldn't be more proud of her. She graduated last week #1 in her class, 4.0 and headed to LSU for chemical engineering. She gave the best valedictorian speech anyone had ever heard.
But I'm terrified for her. This world is so cruel and I don't want her to get hurt.
Did you do it for love? Did you do it for money? Did you do it for spite? Did you think you had to, honey?
- Eagles

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Comments

  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    cajuncurls wrote:
    But I'm terrified for her. This world is so cruel and I don't want her to get hurt.

    That's what would worry me. But other than that I would want my child to be true to themselves and to be happy. End of story.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • internetchickinternetchick Posts: 6,191Registered Users
    I don't get why you feel those traits describe lesbians??

    I wouldn't care. Like Geeky, I would be concerned about how others treated her. I know my family(except for my sister) would cut ties with me if I were a lesbian, and would probably do the same for my child. If so, I would side with my child.
  • picklesgirlpicklesgirl Posts: 1,955Registered Users
    I would worry about her but I would love her the same as I always had.
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I would love and support her just like I always have. I have thought about this, and truly, I don't care if any of my kids turn out to be gay. As long as they are happy, I'm happy.

    I think gay people who have the best lives are those who have the love and support of their parents and extended families. If you stand by her, the cruelty of the rest of the world will matter a lot less.
  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I would love and support her just like I always have. I have thought about this, and truly, I don't care if any of my kids turn out to be gay. As long as they are happy, I'm happy.

    I think gay people who have the best lives are those who have the love and support of their parents and extended families. If you stand by her, the cruelty of the rest of the world will matter a lot less.

    ITA
    :rambo:
  • velvet pawsvelvet paws Posts: 1,250Registered Users
    I would love and support her just like I always have. I have thought about this, and truly, I don't care if any of my kids turn out to be gay. As long as they are happy, I'm happy.

    I think gay people who have the best lives are those who have the love and support of their parents and extended families. If you stand by her, the cruelty of the rest of the world will matter a lot less.

    Yes, this. A small part of me would worry about her too, because the world can be cruel. It's more important to be supportive. I have quite a few friends who have no relationship with their parents now, because they refuse to accept their son or daughter's homosexuality. It's very sad.

    I'm also bossy and a little pushy and driven academically - but not gay. Just sayin' ;)

    Anyway, it sounds like you've got lots of reasons to be very proud of your daughter. It was probably a really big deal for her to come out to you and she really needs your acceptance and support right now.
    3A / 2B / 2C wavicelli

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  • CurlieGlamourGirlieCurlieGlamourGirlie Posts: 1,198Registered Users
    It's natural to worry about that. I think everyone feels the same; that the world will not treat their child they way they should.

    But as long as she's got a loving family to support and stand besides her, she's already strong.

    It sounds like she's talented and smart - and LSU is a large school, so I'm sure they'll have gay/lesbian/bisexual groups and she'll find support there too.
    3b (I think!)
    HGs - Suave Nexxus Knockoff, Jessicurl Weekly DT, L'Oreal Out of Bed, HESMU.
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  • MunchyMunchy Posts: 5,206Registered Users Curl Novice
    I would be so happy that she was able to tell me and I would assure her that I love her and support her and that nothing would ever change that. I agree with RCW in that if you stand by her, everything else in the world will be much easier.

  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Posts: 5,656Registered Users
    Munchy wrote:
    I would be so happy that she was able to tell me and I would assure her that I love her and support her and that nothing would ever change that. I agree with RCW in that if you stand by her, everything else in the world will be much easier.

    ITA.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • MeganMegan Posts: 335Registered Users
    Sounds like you have a lot of things to be proud about! That's great! My brother is gay and brilliant I might add. He's working on his master's degree in psychology right now.

    Anyway, I would love her the same and be as understanding as possible. This is the time when she reallllly needs YOUR support especially. You, being her mother, are her biggest role model and soft place to fall. I don't think the world is as cruel as it used to be. It's way more accepted now.
  • cajuncurlscajuncurls Posts: 270Registered Users
    Oh, I have absolutely no problem with it. I am her biggest fan and I've admired her bossiness, and pushiness (not that I associate that with being gay, but YOU HAVE TO KNOW HER! Talk about a child who has always known her own self!) since she was a little girl! I love both of my girls, but raising Tristan has been a true joy.
    Her dad (my ex) knows but is in denial. She asked me when she should tell him and I said NEVER. He's very narrow minded and an a**hole.
    I've approached the subject with my mom (before Tristan told me, I told my mom I suspected she would tell me when I told her I was pregnant. Do I know my kid or what?) but she pretty much brushed me off, like NO WAY WOULD MY GRANDDAUGHTER BE GAY. My sister may be a little more open, but not much. Last time I was at my mom's, she mentioned how sick gay people are (while watching The L-Word on TV, mind you!).
    My fiance is very supportive of my girls and thinks nothing of it.
    I know someday my family will have to deal with it, I'm just dreading that day!
    Did you do it for love? Did you do it for money? Did you do it for spite? Did you think you had to, honey?
    - Eagles

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  • goldencurlygoldencurly Posts: 2,385Registered Users
    I know your daughter is an adult, but if I were you, I'd pave the way for her with your family, one at a time. I'd lay down the law: if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Try to be supportive and loving because this is just the way it is. No two-faced-ness either.

    I have family members who says, "I don't understand gay people at all." and that's ok. They don't have to understand. They just don't need to be antagonistic to your daughter.
  • velvet pawsvelvet paws Posts: 1,250Registered Users
    cajuncurls wrote:
    Oh, I have absolutely no problem with it. I am her biggest fan and I've admired her bossiness, and pushiness (not that I associate that with being gay, but YOU HAVE TO KNOW HER! Talk about a child who has always known her own self!) since she was a little girl! I love both of my girls, but raising Tristan has been a true joy.
    Her dad (my ex) knows but is in denial. She asked me when she should tell him and I said NEVER. He's very narrow minded and an a**hole.
    I've approached the subject with my mom (before Tristan told me, I told my mom I suspected she would tell me when I told her I was pregnant. Do I know my kid or what?) but she pretty much brushed me off, like NO WAY WOULD MY GRANDDAUGHTER BE GAY. My sister may be a little more open, but not much. Last time I was at my mom's, she mentioned how sick gay people are (while watching The L-Word on TV, mind you!).
    My fiance is very supportive of my girls and thinks nothing of it.
    I know someday my family will have to deal with it, I'm just dreading that day!

    Your daughter sounds lucky to have you as a mom. The fact that YOU accept and support her is the most important thing. :)
    3A / 2B / 2C wavicelli

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  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Your daughter sounds lucky to have you as a mom. The fact that YOU accept and support her is the most important thing. :)

    ITA. I'm sure it means the most to her to know that you love and accept her. It's easy to disregard strangers, but the people close to you are the ones that can hurt the most. I'm sure she will be fine with you behind her.
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • MunchyMunchy Posts: 5,206Registered Users Curl Novice
    I know your daughter is an adult, but if I were you, I'd pave the way for her with your family, one at a time. I'd lay down the law: if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Try to be supportive and loving because this is just the way it is. No two-faced-ness either.

    I have family members who says, "I don't understand gay people at all." and that's ok. They don't have to understand. They just don't need to be antagonistic to your daughter.

    I agree. They don't have to understand, just don't broach the subject with them. It will be much harder once she has a steady girlfriend that she brings to meet the family. In time, it will all get easier for family that doesn't accept it and for your daughter.

  • MarMar Posts: 3,004Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    She is blessed to have such a wonderful mom and step-dad.
    You have amazing kids!
    "what's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?"



    "If you judge people,you have no time to love them"
    -Mother Theresa
  • rainshowerrainshower Posts: 4,420Registered Users
    i would be disappointed, sad, confused, worried . . . a gamut of emotions. i know that i'd love her through it all. but it would be an adjustment for me and my husband too, i'm sure.
    "Dogs stink too, but I like dog stink." ~ rileyb

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