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Thats a Nice 18th Birthday Present: Off to the Strip Club

Aphro-DeeziacAphro-Deeziac Posts: 983Registered Users
:roll: My brother in law and my husbands best friend want to take my son to a strip club for his 18th birthday which is in two weeks. I am NOT having it. :evil:

We arent fighting about it because...........well he is MY son and he isnt going, but I have been called over protective, smothering, hovering, and not will to let go.

Would you be upset? Fight it? Do you think this is something you would be okay for your 18 year old son? How about your 18 year old daughter?
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Comments

  • quickcurlquickcurl Posts: 1,310Registered Users
    Oh hell no. No body would be taking my child to a strip club (male or female). Maybe I am over-protective or overly sensative or a prude or whatever they would want to call me but hell no. I think it's setting a bad example for him and telling him that it's okay to look at women soley as sexual objects and it's okay to treat them that way. The same with if I had a daughter...I don't want her to think that men are only there to be looked at as sex objects and that's it. NO no no no no no.
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  • battinlashbattinlash Posts: 1,850Registered Users
    Just curious...what is the big deal?
  • Aphro-DeeziacAphro-Deeziac Posts: 983Registered Users
    tantrum wrote:
    Just curious...what is the big deal?


    he has time to do adult things. I dont believe in rushing him just because he is turning 18. I dont consider it a right of passage. This boy is still in the process of being raised and he isnt an adult by any stretch of the imagination.
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  • internetchickinternetchick Posts: 6,191Registered Users
    He's 18(or will be). It's not your business anymore. I wouldn't like it though.
  • BefrizzledBefrizzled Posts: 3,854Registered Users
    I don't know. In my family, we're really open and have really healthy attitudes toward the opposite gender, whichever it may be in each person's case, and my brother has nothing but the utmost respect for women, as I do for men. My mother would be fine with my brother going to a strip club when he turned 18. Hell, she bought him a playgirl to give to me when I turned 16 as a joke. I'm not saying that's right for everyone, though.
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  • Aphro-DeeziacAphro-Deeziac Posts: 983Registered Users
    Internetchick

    I must disagree. As long as I continue to provide heat, lights, gas, food, and shelter, it is my business and will continue to be my business as long as I take care of him. What he does when he leaves my house is another story. But he will not graduate from high school for another 2 years, so its not like he is going off on his own any time soon.

    I asked this question on another board and some of the responses were the same as yours. I dont get washing hands of your kids just because they turn 18. It really isnt a magical number and all of a sudden all your decisions are your own.
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  • Aphro-DeeziacAphro-Deeziac Posts: 983Registered Users
    Befrizzled wrote:
    I don't know. In my family, we're really open and have really healthy attitudes toward the opposite gender, whichever it may be in each person's case, and my brother has nothing but the utmost respect for women, as I do for men. My mother would be fine with my brother going to a strip club when he turned 18. Hell, she bought him a playgirl to give to me when I turned 16 as a joke. I'm not saying that's right for everyone, though.

    we have very healthy attitudes towards each gender. We dont have a problem with nudity although we are modest, I mean no one walks around naked and I have been known to streak from the shower to the bedroom when Ive forgetten my towel.

    I dont understand how having a naked woman shake her **** and ass in my son's face is having a natural and healthy attitude.
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  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Posts: 5,297Registered Users
    Does HE want to go, or is he uncomfortable with it? I mean, if he's 18, and he wants to go, then he has the opportunity to go all on his own. I imagine these family members just want to be there to break him in (so to speak). I can understand not being entirely happy about it, being his mom and all, but he IS legally going to be an adult at 18, whether you feel he's mature enough to be considered an adult or not.

    I'm sure I'd roll my eyes repeatedly over the situation, but I don't think I would forbid it. Then again, I don't have an 18 year old son, so I don't know how I'd react.
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  • internetchickinternetchick Posts: 6,191Registered Users
    Internetchick

    I must disagree. As long as I continue to provide heat, lights, gas, food, and shelter, it is my business and will continue to be my business as long as I take care of him. What he does when he leaves my house is another story. But he will not graduate from high school for another 2 years, so its not like he is going off on his own any time soon.

    I asked this question on another board and some of the responses were the same as yours. I dont get washing hands of your kids just because they turn 18. It really isnt a magical number and all of a sudden all your decisions are your own.

    If you are still providing for him, that is different. And I don't see it as washing your hands of your kids. When a person is over 18(and out on their own paying their own way) what they do is up to them not you. That doesn't mean you can't advise and guide, but it is in a much different capacity.
  • Aphro-DeeziacAphro-Deeziac Posts: 983Registered Users
    Internetchick

    I must disagree. As long as I continue to provide heat, lights, gas, food, and shelter, it is my business and will continue to be my business as long as I take care of him. What he does when he leaves my house is another story. But he will not graduate from high school for another 2 years, so its not like he is going off on his own any time soon.

    I asked this question on another board and some of the responses were the same as yours. I dont get washing hands of your kids just because they turn 18. It really isnt a magical number and all of a sudden all your decisions are your own.

    If you are still providing for him, that is different. And I don't see it as washing your hands of your kids. When a person is over 18(and out on their own paying their own way) what they do is up to them not you. That doesn't mean you can't advise and guide, but it is in a much different capacity.


    this we agree on, but that isnt our situation
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  • BefrizzledBefrizzled Posts: 3,854Registered Users
    Befrizzled wrote:
    I don't know. In my family, we're really open and have really healthy attitudes toward the opposite gender, whichever it may be in each person's case, and my brother has nothing but the utmost respect for women, as I do for men. My mother would be fine with my brother going to a strip club when he turned 18. Hell, she bought him a playgirl to give to me when I turned 16 as a joke. I'm not saying that's right for everyone, though.

    we have very healthy attitudes towards each gender. We dont have a problem with nudity although we are modest, I mean no one walks around naked and I have been known to streak from the shower to the bedroom when Ive forgetten my towel.

    I dont understand how having a naked woman shake her &%$@#! and ass in my son's face is having a natural and healthy attitude.

    I can't say the strip club's activities promote a healthy attitude, but the point was the my mother wouldn't care because she knows my brother has his head on straight, and if he went with friends or my uncle or something, she wouldn't really care. But again, I'm not saying that's right for everyone.
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  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Posts: 5,297Registered Users
    I don't think you completely wash your hands of your child when they're 18 - I think as they're approaching that age, you're giving them more room, and more responsibility so that when they reach 18, if they DO decide to go out on their own, they will be as ready as you could have made them.

    As far as the things an 18 year old could do, get into trouble for, experience, or make mistakes with, I think going to a strip club would be the least of my worries.
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

    Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
  • Aphro-DeeziacAphro-Deeziac Posts: 983Registered Users
    babywavy wrote:
    I don't think you completely wash your hands of your child when they're 18 - I think as they're approaching that age, you're giving them more room, and more responsibility so that when they reach 18, if they DO decide to go out on their own, they will be as ready as you could have made them.

    As far as the things an 18 year old could do, get into trouble for, experience, or make mistakes with, I think going to a strip club would be the least of my worries.

    He is a good kid, responsible, respectful, doenst give me an ounce of trouble. He has had a lot of good raising. He does get freedom and can make some of his own choices. So you are right, this *IS* the least of my concerns, especially since he isnt going :lol:
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  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Posts: 5,297Registered Users
    babywavy wrote:
    I don't think you completely wash your hands of your child when they're 18 - I think as they're approaching that age, you're giving them more room, and more responsibility so that when they reach 18, if they DO decide to go out on their own, they will be as ready as you could have made them.

    As far as the things an 18 year old could do, get into trouble for, experience, or make mistakes with, I think going to a strip club would be the least of my worries.

    He is a good kid, responsible, respectful, doenst give me an ounce of trouble. He has had a lot of good raising. He does get freedom and can make some of his own choices. So you are right, this *IS* the least of my concerns, especially since he isnt going :lol:


    :lol:
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

    Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    He's 18(or will be). It's not your business anymore. I wouldn't like it though.

    I wouldn't allow it as a parent. First of all 18 is still young to me, secondly no matter how old I guess I wouldnt be that 'cool' of a parent to allow it because I don't like the concept of strip clubs. If he goes, he goes but it doesnt have to be with the parent aiding him.
  • internetchickinternetchick Posts: 6,191Registered Users
    Josephine wrote:
    He's 18(or will be). It's not your business anymore. I wouldn't like it though.

    I wouldn't allow it as a parent. First of all 18 is still young to me, secondly no matter how old I guess I wouldnt be that 'cool' of a parent to allow it because I don't like the concept of strip clubs. If he goes, he goes but it doesnt have to be with the parent aiding him.

    That's the thing I don't get. If the person is over 18, what can you really allow or not allow? If they are under your roof being provided for that's different.
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    Josephine wrote:
    He's 18(or will be). It's not your business anymore. I wouldn't like it though.

    I wouldn't allow it as a parent. First of all 18 is still young to me, secondly no matter how old I guess I wouldnt be that 'cool' of a parent to allow it because I don't like the concept of strip clubs. If he goes, he goes but it doesnt have to be with the parent aiding him.

    That's the thing I don't get. If the person is over 18, what can you really allow or not allow? If they are under your roof being provided for that's different.

    Yea but they usually are and in the OPs case it sounds like her son is not financially independent. I didnt know that many kids in college who didnt have parents support financially. And even if kids are supporting themselves, 18 is still young. I really don't understand the magical powers of 18 either.
  • michellermicheller Posts: 470Registered Users
    You have very right to prohibit this - especially since he is still in high school, and will be for 2 more years. If he was 18 and in college, living in a dorm, you might have another issue, because at some point you have to let go and let them make choices for themselves. But since he is under your roof, in high school, and totally dependent on you - momma rules.
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Posts: 10,773Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    Can he even get in? I know here you can't get in until you're 19....legal drinking age!
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  • michellermicheller Posts: 470Registered Users
    Can he even get in? I know here you can't get in until you're 19....legal drinking age!

    The legal drinking age is 21 everywhere in the US. But, some stip clubs don't serve alcohol, so that 18 and above can be admitted (I think, its not like I frequent strip clubs or anything :lol: ) Also, lots of areas have different zoning laws, like if they don't serve alcohol, the women can be totally nude, whereas if they do serve alcohol, the women have to have bottoms and pasties on. Someone correct me if I am wrong on this.
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Posts: 10,773Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    micheller wrote:
    Can he even get in? I know here you can't get in until you're 19....legal drinking age!

    The legal drinking age is 21 everywhere in the US. But, some stip clubs don't serve alcohol, so that 18 and above can be admitted (I think, its not like I frequent strip clubs or anything :lol: ) Also, lots of areas have different zoning laws, like if they don't serve alcohol, the women can be totally nude, whereas if they do serve alcohol, the women have to have bottoms and pasties on. Someone correct me if I am wrong on this.

    Funny, funny laws :lol:
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users

    Funny, funny laws :lol:

    My friends in Flint would always go over to Canada to drink until they turned 21...cant remember of the name of the city right now..
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    I'd be super pissed at the BIL and husband's friend. No, I wouldn't allow them to take my son to a strip club at 18. If my (hypothetical) 18 year old decides to go on his own with his friends without me knowing about it, there's not much I can do about it, but I'll be damned if a supposed adult in my family circle would get away with doing that. Man, I'd be mad...just the thought of them trying to "break my son in" would infuriate me.

    And the other posters are right...strip clubs that admit 18 year olds are the type that don't serve alcohol, but have total nudity...and often a lot of other services. When liquore licenses are involved, there is more regulation.
  • curlyarcacurlyarca Posts: 8,449Registered Users
    Josephine wrote:
    Josephine wrote:
    He's 18(or will be). It's not your business anymore. I wouldn't like it though.

    I wouldn't allow it as a parent. First of all 18 is still young to me, secondly no matter how old I guess I wouldnt be that 'cool' of a parent to allow it because I don't like the concept of strip clubs. If he goes, he goes but it doesnt have to be with the parent aiding him.

    That's the thing I don't get. If the person is over 18, what can you really allow or not allow? If they are under your roof being provided for that's different.

    Yea but they usually are and in the OPs case it sounds like her son is not financially independent. I didnt know that many kids in college who didnt have parents support financially. And even if kids are supporting themselves, 18 is still young. I really don't understand the magical powers of 18 either.
    ita.

    a coworker had a friend of hers tell her that since her son turned 18, she should go smoke a joint with him...uh...ok? :roll:

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  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    :roll: My brother in law and my husbands best friend want to take my son to a strip club for his 18th birthday which is in two weeks. I am NOT having it. :evil:

    We arent fighting about it because...........well he is MY son and he isnt going, but I have been called over protective, smothering, hovering, and not will to let go.

    Would you be upset? Fight it? Do you think this is something you would be okay for your 18 year old son? How about your 18 year old daughter?

    Just curious...are you okay with your husband going to strip clubs? If so, then mayyyybeI can see why his friend and brother would even suggest it(even though it's still stupid to me) but if not..it makes no sense to me.
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    NO WAY. I would NOT allow this for my son or my daughter. YOU are the mama and he lives under your roof, so those other people don't get a say! And I also do not see the "18 year olds have the go-ahead to do what they want" thing, especially when he's under your roof, dependent on you, and still in school.

    I think the adults around him need to be adults. What is wrong with taking him out to dinner and a movie or a show? And no, I don't think strip clubs promote healthy attitudes.
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  • afrosheenqueenafrosheenqueen Posts: 5,400Registered Users
    I'd be super pissed at the BIL and husband's friend. No, I wouldn't allow them to take my son to a strip club at 18. If my (hypothetical) 18 year old decides to go on his own with his friends without me knowing about it, there's not much I can do about it, but I'll be damned if a supposed adult in my family circle would get away with doing that. Man, I'd be mad...just the thought of them trying to "break my son in" would infuriate me.

    And the other posters are right...strip clubs that admit 18 year olds are the type that don't serve alcohol, but have total nudity...and often a lot of other services. When liquore licenses are involved, there is more regulation.

    To me its not the age but what I bolded above that I agree with. I think I must have funny views on boundaries with adults and young people because I don't think mixing and hanging out in this way is okay.
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  • Aries_jbAries_jb Posts: 1,556Registered Users
    I have an issue with him using it as a milestone, as if it's some sort of priviledge to pay to see naked women. If I were the 18 year old in question, I would NOT want my first strip club experience to be with members of my family! That's embarassing. They could just give him a ciggie to commemorate the event too. JK. :P
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  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    Agree with RCW and Aries - those would be my concerns, too.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Posts: 15,402Registered Users
    I can think of much nicer gifts to give a son who's turning 18. It's rather creepy to me, actually. Did your son ask for that as a birthday present or is it something the men are putting forward? Does he have a girlfriend, and what does she think?
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