I don't think my curls suit me but I want to love them

TJDTJD Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 1 Curl Neophyte
Hello guys

When I was younger I had straight hair

Now I'm 14 and have curls (2b, 2c, 3a)

For the past year or so I've been learning how to style my hair and the results have been fabulous. My curls look great - just not on me. It could be the fact that I'm half Chinese and there isn't really much naturally curly Asian hair representation out there, but I really feel straight hair suits me so much more. It flatters my face so nice. This could also be a false perception though, my brain tricking me into thinking it looks nicer just because I'm not used to it.

I guess I'm asking for tips on how to love my curly hair and appreciate what I have.

Also, any hairstyle suggestions are welcome - I'm thinking of growing it out to emulate that face-framing look I love so much about straight hair. I'm NOT looking to get it chemically relaxed, or to use heat tools every day - don't worry.

Thanks everyone


  • Aliciapaul93Aliciapaul93 Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 2 Curl Neophyte
    Curls are amazing. But if you still have some doubts about your curls, start pampering them so that you fall in love with them. Here are some hair care tips;  https://whatsthe-trend.com/did-you-miss-these-hair-care-tips-and-tricks/
  • CashsMomCashsMom Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 18 Curl Novice
    It's possibly just because having curls makes you different than other Asian girls your age.  I say celebrate that difference!  It makes you uniquely you and not just one of the crowd of straight hairs!
  • curlytresses1curlytresses1 Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 5 Curl Neophyte
     I say do what works best for you.   If you want to wear your hair curly do that but if you want it straight then you are free to do that also. The decision is yours .But one thing I will say is be careful when using heat or any chemical products .
  • scissorhandsscissorhands Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 1 Curl Neophyte
    I agree with your point that there's not much natural curly and wavy representations for asians out there, especially East Asians. As far as I know, I'm full chinese but textured hair runs on my mother's side of the family (starting with my grandpa, but funnily enough only got passed on to the girls). I had coarse straight hair as a kid and the texture didn't start to come in until early puberty. I had gotten my first straightening perm when I was 11. I eventually stopped during high school cuz the hassle of a grown out perm was not worth the few months of limp, volume-less straight hair. I thought I could fix the frizz and the weird "ponytail" dent in my hair with the correct conditioners but it was through this that I discovered that I might have curls. 

    The first 2 years of my attempt at understanding my hair texture resulted in a lot of wasted products and hair that had a 50/50 chance of looking decent. What I've learned is that you can't be lazy, at least when your hair is wet. Once it's dried you can do whatever and it would still look good until your next wash day. I have medium texture, medium density, low porosity (recently became high porosity due to a box dye adventure in my dorm), and a texture that ranges from 2a (bottom, closer to the nape of my neck), 2b (framing pieces and scattered in the back), 2c, and one or two 3a ringlets. 
    If you're a similar texture I'd recommend prioritizing conditioner, curl cream, and gel. Shampoo is best when catered towards your scalp needs. A good conditioner will help detangle your hair and deliver whatever your hair craves (moisture/protein/etc). A good curl cream (I prefer amika, the most similar dupe to the devacurl styling cream that I loved but am now apprehensive about due to the old lawsuit) which can help coax your pattern. And a good gel ensures that your hair stays intact despite weather or activities between your wash days (curls sea moss curl slime, curl smith in-shower style fixer, uncle funky's daughter curly magic curl simulator, dippity-do girls with curls gelée are my tried and trues). Some also prefer the addition or substitution of other products such as a leave-in conditioner or mousse. A product that's definitely been an essential of ensuring minimal frizz after each wash is a brush. Some people prefer the Denman brush but I find that doing the Denman method on a rake brush is easier on both my hair itself and the texture. Or if you don't want to spend money on a brush, finger coiling which might take a minute to figure out, or the bowl method, works just as well. I tend to use the bowl method on days I don't have time for my usual routine, there might be more frizz than usual but the curl clumps will still form. And a old t-shirt for plopping, maybe a few clips for some hair volume at the roots. All that I've mentioned above should be applied and performed on the hair when it's still soaking wet which also helps tame the frizz. A diffuser might be helpful as well if you prefer bouncy and tighter curls but I usually let my hair air dry since I like to maintain my length (aka no shrinkage). 

    It's been almost 7 years in the making now but I wouldn't trade my journey or my hair for anything else. There were times where I got frustrated with how it was inbetween so many texture. I felt like I couldn't win, it would have been easier to be born with silky hair that remained straight and shiny on the rainiest days or ringlets that don't take much coaxing to bounce into shape. Eventually I figured that the best style for my particular texture is longer (currently my hair is somewhere around my hip and probably tethering the lines between mermaid and wicked witch of the west, depending on the weather and my mood), since my curls tend to develop more with length, and the overall weight would prevent the more poof-y appearance that the japanese perms tried to resolve all those years ago. I've also learned to cut my own hair during the pandemic. The wavy/curly texture makes it easy to hide any mistakes even if you do mess up. I've found that cutting the "framing" pieces around my face at a diagonal to fall anywhere from right below my cheekbone to right below chin gives the same effect as curtain bangs on a straighter texture. There are many videos on TikTok and YouTube you can learn from when trying to figure out the best way to frame your hair to your face. Since my hair is jet black, you really can't see the texture from a distance and this particular cut and length gives me the illusion of the same straight hair that many East Asians naturally have (if that's something you're looking to hear). Once I had the proper cut for coaxing my curls to form the way I like, maintenance got a lot easier. Just remember that loving your hair isn't something that happens overnight.
    As more asians are recognizing texture to be unique and not a burden, I've become the person my friends go to for suggestions. Albeit a bit superficial but I am proud whenever I get asked how much time I spend curling my hair or received passing compliments. My younger cousins are currently growing into their textures as well and I'm just glad that there has yet to be mentions of straightening perms. 

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