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This Man Is Amazing Concerning Dating & Relationships...

LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
in Non-hair discussion
Michael Hussey.  Check him out on you tube.  I've been watching his videos for the past few days & I have gained so much insight.  
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."

Comments

  • StarmieStarmie Registered Users Posts: 7,169 Curl Virtuoso
    He's doing a series on the telly here atm, working with four women who are no longer married for various reasons, helping them find new relationships. It's the sort of programme that makes me want to run screaming, as far away as possible! Does he seem to you to actually know what he's talking about then? 
    3b in South Australia.
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    I think he does.  I am learning a lot from him.  He makes a lot of sense to me. I have watched about 10 of his videos.  I will probably buy his latest book.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • StarmieStarmie Registered Users Posts: 7,169 Curl Virtuoso
    It seems a pity then that we're only seeing him here in the  context of this seemingly trashy reality tv programme. 
    3b in South Australia.
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    I've only seen him in his you tube videos.  Yesterday my FWB dropped by becuz he knew I was upset with him.  When I started talking to him he immediately got defensive & we weren't getting anywhere.  I then thought about things I have learned from the videos & changed the way I was approaching him on this situation.  His whole demeanor changed.  He moved closer to me on the sofa & took my hand & apologized for his actions.  He said he would never intentionally hurt or disrespect me & he understood why I felt the way I did. I was pretty much telling him the same thing except I worded it in a different, better way.  
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    Random rant but I wish men were as concerned in making relationships work and trying to understand the opposite sex as women are.
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    There are books & programs for men also.  
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    Yea but it doesn't seem like men in general are as concerned about reading up on how to improve themselves for relationships as much as women are.
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    They hide it better than we do.  I've had male friends asking me what I think about a situation or what he should do.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    Josephine said:
    Random rant but I wish men were as concerned in making relationships work and trying to understand the opposite sex as women are.
    I know, right. I think men and boys are conditioned not to have these kinds of conversations with each other unless it's a black or white thing (not racial, I mean like there's a yes or no question involved).

  • rouquinnerouquinne Registered Users Posts: 13,737 Curl Connoisseur
    Josephine said:
    Random rant but I wish men were as concerned in making relationships work and trying to understand the opposite sex as women are.
    Oh  HELL YES!!!!!
    My blog:

    http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

    Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
  • GretchenGretchen Administrator Moderators Posts: 10,840 Curl Virtuoso
    What an interesting discussion!

    Gretchen
    NaturallyCurly.com co-founder
    3A

    You are beautiful!
  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur

    Lotsawaves said:
    I've only seen him in his you tube videos.  Yesterday my FWB dropped by becuz he knew I was upset with him.  When I started talking to him he immediately got defensive & we weren't getting anywhere.  I then thought about things I have learned from the videos & changed the way I was approaching him on this situation.  His whole demeanor changed.  He moved closer to me on the sofa & took my hand & apologized for his actions.  He said he would never intentionally hurt or disrespect me & he understood why I felt the way I did. I was pretty much telling him the same thing except I worded it in a different, better way.  
    Yes, it sucks that people are so affected by the way you word things, but I really need to work on this(not just for romantic relationships since thats not an issue now) but in general, mostly at work now.
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    I hear you, Josephine.  I've also been told I come across very abrupt with my texts.  I don't like texting, so I keep them short.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    Josephine said:

    Lotsawaves said:
    I've only seen him in his you tube videos.  Yesterday my FWB dropped by becuz he knew I was upset with him.  When I started talking to him he immediately got defensive & we weren't getting anywhere.  I then thought about things I have learned from the videos & changed the way I was approaching him on this situation.  His whole demeanor changed.  He moved closer to me on the sofa & took my hand & apologized for his actions.  He said he would never intentionally hurt or disrespect me & he understood why I felt the way I did. I was pretty much telling him the same thing except I worded it in a different, better way.  
    Yes, it sucks that people are so affected by the way you word things, but I really need to work on this(not just for romantic relationships since thats not an issue now) but in general, mostly at work now.
    That's strange bc NYers tend to be blunt and Southerners tend to be so much more diplomatic. Or so goes the generalization. I'd think NYers would be touched by your kindness. But then again, I've never communicated w/ you off this site so IDK how you are! LOL

    But yes, ppl frequently complain that i'm "abrasive." Nah couldn't be true. 

  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    Lotsawaves said:
    I've only seen him in his you tube videos.  Yesterday my FWB dropped by becuz he knew I was upset with him.  When I started talking to him he immediately got defensive & we weren't getting anywhere.  I then thought about things I have learned from the videos & changed the way I was approaching him on this situation.  His whole demeanor changed.  He moved closer to me on the sofa & took my hand & apologized for his actions.  He said he would never intentionally hurt or disrespect me & he understood why I felt the way I did. I was pretty much telling him the same thing except I worded it in a different, better way.  
    Soooo, in a nutshell, what was the advice? How did you alter your communication w/ the FWB that changed his demeanor?

  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    spiderlashes5000 said:
    Josephine said:

    Lotsawaves said:
    I've only seen him in his you tube videos.  Yesterday my FWB dropped by becuz he knew I was upset with him.  When I started talking to him he immediately got defensive & we weren't getting anywhere.  I then thought about things I have learned from the videos & changed the way I was approaching him on this situation.  His whole demeanor changed.  He moved closer to me on the sofa & took my hand & apologized for his actions.  He said he would never intentionally hurt or disrespect me & he understood why I felt the way I did. I was pretty much telling him the same thing except I worded it in a different, better way.  
    Yes, it sucks that people are so affected by the way you word things, but I really need to work on this(not just for romantic relationships since thats not an issue now) but in general, mostly at work now.
    That's strange bc NYers tend to be blunt and Southerners tend to be so much more diplomatic. Or so goes the generalization. I'd think NYers would be touched by your kindness. But then again, I've never communicated w/ you off this site so IDK how you are! LOL

    But yes, ppl frequently complain that i'm "abrasive." Nah couldn't be true. 
    LOL, I'm definitely more like a yankee and I do like that about up here. While I miss the kindness of southerners(used to hate it) I do like that i can be more myself here and people don't get offended. I usually don't have an issue at work since I work mostly with men and they are generally less sensitive but I do with women in different departments. It's been pretty good here, people get me better(women) and are still nice to be even though I'm not overly nice. I am also still very short in general with my emails, text, etc, even with friends I've known for years.

    I actually had a recent falling out with an old friend. It may have a little to do with our difference in communication, but Ive understood her and accept our difference but she could not get past it. She's also just self centered. Okay sorry, went off an a tangent there. 
  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    Lotsawaves said:
    I hear you, Josephine.  I've also been told I come across very abrupt with my texts.  I don't like texting, so I keep them short.
    Yes. I remember once this girl from a party texted me the next morning to ask for my friends number(they were talking a lot that night and she forgot to get it from here). I was at work and just texted to her. My bf at that time told me later that he talked to her and she thought I was mad and didn't really want them to talk , wtf?  I now realized I was supposed to say something like 'Hey, YES GIRL you should totally call her, bla bla bla.'

     I also often have people assuming things about what I think or feel that are completely false(even people who have known me forever, like my brother). I think most people want positive reinforcement all the time and just saying something once is not enough. It's quite frustrating. I've decided to be a semi hermit lol because I can't deal.  
  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    spiderlashes5000 said:
    Josephine said:

    Lotsawaves said:
    I've only seen him in his you tube videos.  Yesterday my FWB dropped by becuz he knew I was upset with him.  When I started talking to him he immediately got defensive & we weren't getting anywhere.  I then thought about things I have learned from the videos & changed the way I was approaching him on this situation.  His whole demeanor changed.  He moved closer to me on the sofa & took my hand & apologized for his actions.  He said he would never intentionally hurt or disrespect me & he understood why I felt the way I did. I was pretty much telling him the same thing except I worded it in a different, better way.  
    Yes, it sucks that people are so affected by the way you word things, but I really need to work on this(not just for romantic relationships since thats not an issue now) but in general, mostly at work now.
    That's strange bc NYers tend to be blunt and Southerners tend to be so much more diplomatic. Or so goes the generalization. I'd think NYers would be touched by your kindness. But then again, I've never communicated w/ you off this site so IDK how you are! LOL

    But yes, ppl frequently complain that i'm "abrasive." Nah couldn't be true. 
    LOL, I'm definitely more like a yankee and I do like that about up here. While I miss the kindness of southerners(used to hate it) I do like that i can be more myself here and people don't get offended. I usually don't have an issue at work since I work mostly with men and they are generally less sensitive but I do with women in different departments. It's been pretty good here, people get me better(women) and are still nice to be even though I'm not overly nice. I am also still very short in general with my emails, text, etc, even with friends I've known for years.

    I actually had a recent falling out with an old friend. It may have a little to do with our difference in communication, but Ive understood her and accept our difference but she could not get past it. She's also just self centered. Okay sorry, went off an a tangent there. I have noticed with some guys, they can't deal with my abruptness or directness well and theres a new term i've heard called ballbusters? Yea I don't have time for those types in my life!
  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    spiderlashes5000 said:
    Josephine said:

    Lotsawaves said:
    I've only seen him in his you tube videos.  Yesterday my FWB dropped by becuz he knew I was upset with him.  When I started talking to him he immediately got defensive & we weren't getting anywhere.  I then thought about things I have learned from the videos & changed the way I was approaching him on this situation.  His whole demeanor changed.  He moved closer to me on the sofa & took my hand & apologized for his actions.  He said he would never intentionally hurt or disrespect me & he understood why I felt the way I did. I was pretty much telling him the same thing except I worded it in a different, better way.  
    Yes, it sucks that people are so affected by the way you word things, but I really need to work on this(not just for romantic relationships since thats not an issue now) but in general, mostly at work now.
    That's strange bc NYers tend to be blunt and Southerners tend to be so much more diplomatic. Or so goes the generalization. I'd think NYers would be touched by your kindness. But then again, I've never communicated w/ you off this site so IDK how you are! LOL

    But yes, ppl frequently complain that i'm "abrasive." Nah couldn't be true. 
    LOL, I'm definitely more like a yankee and I do like that about up here. While I miss the kindness of southerners(used to hate it) I do like that i can be more myself here and people don't get offended. I usually don't have an issue at work since I work mostly with men and they are generally less sensitive but I do with women in different departments. It's been pretty good here, people get me better(women) and are still nice to be even though I'm not overly nice. I am also still very short in general with my emails, text, etc, even with friends I've known for years.

    I actually had a recent falling out with an old friend. It may have a little to do with our difference in communication, but Ive understood her and accept our difference but she could not get past it. She's also just self centered. Okay sorry, went off an a tangent there. I have noticed with some guys, they can't deal with my abruptness or directness well and theres a new term i've heard called ballbusters? Yea I don't have time for those types in my life!
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    Josephine said:
    'Hey, YES GIRL you should totally call her, bla bla bla.'

     
     :D  :D:D

  • GuardianBGuardianB Registered Users Posts: 1,905 Curl Connoisseur
    Communication is hard.  Don't think that it isn't.  Reading a room and hearing a person with the intentions best for all is learned and practiced behavior that we often all will fail at.  Certainly knowing the person you are talking to should help but even with there are no guarantees. 
    We were in training this past week and one of the things discussed was generations and communicating through or with different levels of workers/management/etc.  Or just people in general but our topic was directed towards the workplace.  Some said "generations" doesn't exist.  Some said it did.  If you listened to the actual point of what they were trying to get to for a practice on how one should be treated and spoken to... they were saying the same thing.  Even though it was started in polar opposites.
    ~Two friends, one soul inspired~ anonymous
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    Yes, GuardianB, I think that is the whole point.  Learning to communicate with each other. When I worked for Chase Bank I worked in a new department and we were all new  We had to take a personality test.  It wasn't just answering questions on a piece of paper  A scenario was told and parts of a movie were shown and then we were asked questions.  Afterwards we were told what a personalities were.  There were A B C & D.  That way we knew how they were & how better to work with them.  It wasn't bowing down to anyone.  Just knowing how best to communicate with them.  It is hard when you 1st meet someone not really knowing them that well.  
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • GuardianBGuardianB Registered Users Posts: 1,905 Curl Connoisseur
    Lotsawaves said:
    Yes, GuardianB, I think that is the whole point.  Learning to communicate with each other. When I worked for Chase Bank I worked in a new department and we were all new  We had to take a personality test.  It wasn't just answering questions on a piece of paper  A scenario was told and parts of a movie were shown and then we were asked questions.  Afterwards we were told what a personalities were.  There were A B C & D.  That way we knew how they were & how better to work with them.  It wasn't bowing down to anyone.  Just knowing how best to communicate with them.  It is hard when you 1st meet someone not really knowing them that well.  
    Exactly and yet we also can't stereotype and limit a person to that 1 personality type.  Just because someone is "orange" and thinks about fun and excitement feeds off the energy of that and other people does not mean they can't be caring and also enjoy alone time.
    ~Two friends, one soul inspired~ anonymous
  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    So I looked up this guy - its Matthew Hussey (not michael) and apparently he's having a seminar here next monday - https://www.eventbrite.com/e/matthew-hussey-the-live-session-tickets-48018096419

    I may watch some of his videos after work today. 
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    Oops, sorry. 
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."

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