Growing out a tapered cut I hate...

ArtisticAngArtisticAng Posts: 8Registered Users Curl Neophyte
edited April 2018 in Growing out

I’ve been growing out my tapered cut (4b/4c hair, possibly…) since October 2017, which was a month after my third big chop. I’m dealing with different issues connected to my negative perception of my hair (depression, self-hate, etc.), but in general, I just do not like the cut. Also, my father said that it looks like it was not cut properly and it looks uneven, even for a tapered cut. I know a part of the reason that it looks bad is because I have not had it trimmed since October 2017 out of fear of losing length, getting too much cut off, and my father sharing my fears. I know I’m an adult and that I should be able to make decisions on my own, but I live with my father and sister, I’m unemployed due to my mental health…and just a lot of indecisiveness about my life right now. Their opinion matters a lot. Though, I feel that doing a third big chop was needed to truly start learning how to accept my hair, I regret getting it cut so short and getting it tapered.

I’m debating on whether to get it cut even today or just get it shaped somehow. I wanted to go with braids, but I have fine-width hair, which could be harmed if hair extensions were added to get the bob box braids I wanted. I’ve tried wearing weave and wigs in the past and I just can’t do it…I want to feel authentic…but “my authentic appearance” looks hideous, in my eyes. I’m trying to stay away from getting it colored again, even though it did not damage my hair. I’m also trying to avoid getting it straightened/flat-ironed, or relaxed because it did damage my hair over the years. I’m sorry for just writing this long lament, complaint, or rumination…I just want to know if others have experienced this internal debate while growing out short hair (especially a haircut that turned out to be the wrong choice…:'( ).

Comments

  • GretchenGretchen Administrator Posts: 10,831Administrators, Moderators Administrator
    Hi @ArtisticAng !  It seems to be you would be able to get your hair shaped into a look that makes you happier, without losing too much length.  Just be sure to emphasize that you're looking for a shaping, not a drastic cut.  Those stylists get a little scissor-happy, don't they? 
    Please don't think your authentic look is "hideous"!  It's YOU and you are a beautiful, thoughtful person. Just read your post.... that's a good person writing that. 

    I promise you, every one of us has struggled with our hair. With a decision about what to do with our hair. You are not alone in that. We've all made mistakes, too. But the glorious thing is that hair grows! 

    Please let us know what you've decided to do, and please post more photos! 


    Gretchen
    NaturallyCurly.com co-founder
    3A

    You are beautiful!
  • rbbrbb Posts: 4,354Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    i agree with what gretchen said.  when i don't want to lose any length but need some shaping, i say "dusting" as that is even less than a trim.
    and, bring photos of what you want now and/or aim for.  


    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:curl junkie conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: curl junkie 
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
  • ArtisticAngArtisticAng Posts: 8Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    edited February 14
    Hi @Gretchen and @rbb. I apologize for replying extremely late to your comments. Thank you both for your feedback and encouragement. I've updated my profile with a picture of the most recent hairstyle a stylist did for me. Over the past year, I've mainly tried twist outs and perm rods for styling my hair. My hair has been growing a little longer as well. But I still have not found styles I like that fit my curl pattern and hair length. I was going to consider getting my hair pressed this month for the first time in a year for a more accurate cut since my length is still uneven from a shaping done some time last year, but I worry it's too risky. I don't know what to do...

    Thank you for your kind words, Gretchen. I hope I can see myself in a positive way someday.
  • rbbrbb Posts: 4,354Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I like your hairstyle I think it’s very cute.    Curly hair takes more time to grow as it winds around and around to form a curl.  
    I would Not straighten it as it could damage your hair.  Also curly hair does not do well with “even” cuts as our curls each have different tightness shrinkage.  Just let it be.  It does look happy. 
    Google “short curly hairstyles” to find lots of photos.   
    Also google “devacurl hairstyles” to see even more photos.  Use these for inspiration and show your stylist at your next cut. 
    Be patient you are getting there 



    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:curl junkie conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: curl junkie 
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
  • ArtisticAngArtisticAng Posts: 8Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    edited February 14
    Thank you, rbb. It was a perm rod set a stylist did for me. Should I stick with this type of style, or wear a style that may be closer to my texture? I think my hair texture might be a mix of 4b and 4c (probably more of 4c, though). It feels like wearing it as an afro is the only style that maintains my "authentic" curl pattern in a style, though I don't know if doing other styles with different curl patterns is inauthentic or not. I've been natural for around 10 years, but it's still hard to like my natural hair texture. Thank you for your feedback. I'll try to stay away from direct heat and look for curly, coily, or a mix of styles.

    Here's a picture of me from July 2018 with my hair worn as an afro:

  • rbbrbb Posts: 4,354Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    the afro looks good, too.  you can wear it anyway you want, and most likely from time to time how you want to wear your hair will be different.  
    and, the thing with curly hair is that it does have a mind of its own, LOL!   
    different products will change the way it looks, also, to some degree.  
    even my hair, which is a much looser pattern, 3a, can be much curlier or a bit looser, depending on which styler i use.  
    keep looking at photos and feel free to play around with your hair as long as you are not using heat or chemicals that will damage it.

    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:curl junkie conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: curl junkie 
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine

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