Silly question, but I'm socially awkward...

caress

Hi,
This may seem like an odd question to post on a message board, but I'm going to ask anyway. My mother is retiring soon. Her job is giving her a retirement party this Friday. They contacted me yesterday and invited me and my father.

I was planning to get her a gift and asked her to think about what she wanted to do to celebrate. Then, I get the invite from her job.

Should I present her gift or have something to give to her at the party? I don't have a gift yet, but I've been giving it thought. I thought I had more time. Will my dad and I look bad if we have nothing for her on that day?

BrittanyM

I wouldn't think so. I would personally assume that family members would have a dinner or something to themselves to celebrate. You can either give it to her at the party or wait. No one will think badly of you if you don't give her gift at the party. You can give it to her whenever. It's your relationship with your mother that matters, not the party itself.

caress

Thank you. That's sort of what I was thinking.

WavyKfromNJ

I would wait.  

You should let her relationship with with the company be the focus of the party.  There will probably be a bunch of speeches and possibly a gift from the company to your mom.

Later you can have a small celebratory party with the 3 (or more) of you, and that is when you should give her your gift.

Lotsawaves

This is an interesting question.  If it were her b'day, anniversary, etc I would do it at a separate celebration.  A retirement at her office, I think I would give her gift to her there. 

Therese1

I would assume that the family stuff would be separate, so I would give her any gifts at the family celebration. I think it helps make it more personal.

Starmie

I'd do it privately too. If I was one of her colleagues I'd think it a bit odd if family were giving presents at the work do - it's for her co-workers to do their thing.

Gretchen

Hi @Caress!  Congratulations to your mom!  What a milestone. What sort of work is she retiring from? Does she have wonderful retirement plans? 

I would think you could give her your gift privately. 

caress

Thank you all for feeling more confident that I am in the right track with what I'm thinking.

Thanks, Gretchen! My mom is a manager in the health insurance industry, where she's has spent the majority of her career. She plans to rest first, then travel, participate in some activities at a popular senior center in her area, and attempt to write a book. I'm so excited for her, though I can't believe she's retiring soon.

Thanks again, everyone. My mom is the person I would normally ask a question like this, but obviously, I can't.

Gretchen

So happy she is getting ready to enjoy a wonderful next phase of her life after a long and productive career. Her plans sound fantastic. I wish her the very best. 

jeepcurlygurl

WavyKfromNJ said:

I would wait.  

You should let her relationship with with the company be the focus of the party.  There will probably be a bunch of speeches and possibly a gift from the company to your mom.

Later you can have a small celebratory party with the 3 (or more) of you, and that is when you should give her your gift.

ditto this. 

And congrats to your mom!  (8 months 11 days and 5 minutes left for me!)

caress

Thanks, Gretchen and jeepcurlygurl!

Gretchen

Jeep, wow! That's awesome!