My hair is so disgusting and damaged? Was I born with bad hair?

melaniethewondermelaniethewonder Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 3 Curl Neophyte
So to start, my hair is very thick, poofy, and wavy, and frizzy and I HATE IT. I can never wear it down because it just poofs up with its ugly waves, it just looks so big whenever I try wearing it down. This is why I am always in pony-tail mode, so I don't have to go out with my gross hair. I got it straightened about 3 weeks ago and I loved it straight and thin, I wanted to keep it forever but I knew I had to wash it at some point so it could go back to its naturally bad texture. Honestly, I just wish I had straighter and thinner hair. I've tried many products such as Garnier Fructis anti frizz serum, curl mousse, pantene curl conditioner and shampoo, garnier fructic brazilian  smooth conditioner but none of them have worked. I'm washing my hair in cold water and all that stuff but no matter how hard I try, it still doesn't cooperate. I'm in my teenage years and a lot of articles online say it's like this because of hormones and hair tends to go frizzy during this time. my hair is the type of hair that just makes you want to cry, advice please? sorry for long rant.

Best Answer

  • bomegabomega Registered Users Posts: 1,355 Curl Virtuoso
    Answer ✓
    Oh @melaniethewonder: Please don't feel this way! I responded to your other thread, but I want to add that I'm also willing to bet that your hair isn't as bad as you think it is. I have seen so many people come through and say that they have the worse hair, and then they post a picture, and it really isn't that bad. I can honestly tell you I have yet to see someone post a picture that was even in the same league as bad as my hair was before I learned to care for it, and I'll bet that is the case with you too. ;)

    Sometimes we are hardest on ourselves. One main reason why you are struggling is that our society places unreasonable expectations on us, especially women, to fit a narrow mold of appearance. The current beauty standard says straight hair is more beautiful, and we are bombarded by unrealistic images of models who wear wigs or have a staff to make their hair look a certain way for a photoshoot. All that influences our thinking and how we feel about ourselves when we don't fit that narrow mold. Luckily though, that has been changing, although it is still early. You can see right now in the media there are different looks with hair, involving coils, curls, waves, along with straight hair. Sometimes you can see those are styled in a contrived way, and it's ok to enjoy it for what it is, but other times you can see they have a naturally curly/coily look which looks great too!

    The way to deal with this, is start accepting your hair as it is. I know that might sound hard, but the thing is, if you don't accept it now, it will ironically still be hard to accept it even if when you get great curls from finding the right products and techniques, or even if you straighten it. Because the hair acceptance comes from your self-acceptance. Try being grateful that you have the hair you have because no one else has it. Have awareness that you have resources to help you learn to care for it and style it (like, curltalk and youtubers and blogs who figured things out). Educate yourself with books like Curly Girl Handbook by Lorraine Massey. You may also like the new Curl Revolution by Michelle Breyer, who was a co-founder of
    Low-poo: Alaffia Coffee & Shea Revitalizing Shampoo for Fine/Thin Hair (summer), Alaffia Coconut & Shea Hydrating Shampoo
    Clarify: Kinky Curly Come Clean
    Rinse-out: Alaffia Coffee & Shea Revitalizing Conditioner for Fine/Thin Hair (summer), Alaffia Everyday Coconut Ultra Hydrating Conditioner
    DT: Camille Rose Naturals Algae Renew Deep Conditioner
    Leave-in: As I Am Leave-in
    Styler: Lily of the Desert 99% Aloe Vera Gelly
    Treatment: Daily tea spray; Coconut oil overnight treatment; Citric acid rinse for hard water; 2-step Henndigo w/ amla to cover gray

    2C, fine, low porosity, low/medium density, protein sensitive

    Looking for styling products and tools

    iHerb Code KQS149 for 5% off your order

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