Help! morning solution for daughter's wavy hair and "bed head"?

swimmer4110swimmer4110 Posts: 3Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Neophyte
edited January 2018 in Hair Type 2
So I have straight hair, as does my mom, sister, etc.  My husband however has curly hair (but keeps it very short).  My 4 year old has inherited more his hair than mine, and given I have zero experienced in wavy/curly hair myself- this is all new to me, and I'm struggling to figure out what to do her hair. i'm not sure if her hair is 2a or 2b (or even 2c? i'm really not sure!) - pics attached (these are after washing and air drying).  Her hair is fine and thin and not a lot of body unfortunately (that's from me )....and her hair seems so dry more often than not  

After some experimenting, i think I am getting somewhat close to figuring out good shampoo/condition/leave-in routine and her hair looks ok after this (though still open to suggestions there too).  Usually she takes a bath and hair is washed at night  Where I am REALLY struggling is dealing with the bed head next morning....I end up putting it in a pony tail every day for preschool - but she really wants to where her hair down sometimes (for whatever reason)....but its a frizzy mess and desperate for solution.  Any ideas?  Being a full-time working mom of 2 young kids (#2 is baldie baby yet :) ), I need a quick routine for her hair in the morning.   

(note the pics attached are after washing and air drying but before going to bed - so not "bed head" issue I'm having)

Thanks in advance!
Thank you!

Answers

  • bomegabomega Posts: 1,355Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited January 2018
    Hopefully other parents will chime in, but when we were little, my mom (who has straight hair) used to just comb my sister's 3b hair (which was curly - mine didn't become curly until puberty) with a small amount of oil in the morning.It looked neat and clean that way.

    ETA: I totally agree that your daughter has the cutest curls. :)
    Low-poo: Alaffia Coffee & Shea Revitalizing Shampoo for Fine/Thin Hair (summer), Alaffia Coconut & Shea Hydrating Shampoo
    Clarify: Kinky Curly Come Clean
    Rinse-out: Alaffia Coffee & Shea Revitalizing Conditioner for Fine/Thin Hair (summer), Alaffia Everyday Coconut Ultra Hydrating Conditioner
    DT: Camille Rose Naturals Algae Renew Deep Conditioner
    Leave-in: As I Am Leave-in
    Styler: Lily of the Desert 99% Aloe Vera Gelly
    Treatment: Daily tea spray; Coconut oil overnight treatment; Citric acid rinse for hard water; 2-step Henndigo w/ amla to cover gray

    2C, fine, low porosity, low/medium density, protein sensitive

    Looking for styling products and tools

    iHerb Code KQS149 for 5% off your order
  • WildberryWildberry Posts: 90Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Connoisseur
    I'm no help at all, I just wanted to say that your daughter has gorgeous curls, and such a pretty color!
  • ineine Posts: 15Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Novice
    I have the same problem but with myself, I usually just put it up in a ponytail or comb it and do a half pony, but I feel like I'm making it worse. I'll stay around here to see if someone has a solution. Your daughter has amazing shiny curls and I understand she wants to wear her hair down! 
  • GretchenGretchen Administrator Posts: 10,840Moderators Curl Virtuoso
    Welcome @swimmer4110!

    Gretchen
    NaturallyCurly.com co-founder
    3A

    You are beautiful!
  • swimmer4110swimmer4110 Posts: 3Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Neophyte
    Thanks for the comments and compliments!  I'm still not finding a great solution and getting more frustrated by the day - but I so appreciate everyone's compliments and knowing I'm not the only one.

    I feel like i figure out the perfect solution and when her hair dries after bath, it looks pretty good now (not great, but much better than a year ago when i started this quest).  But then like this morning, she woke up and its a rats nest -  I can't even get a wide comb through it without her crying it hurts.  Among the numerous things over the past year+ - I've tried everything from spraying it with plain water or water/conditioner mixed, Mixed chicks tangle tamer for kids, sheamoisture argan Oil & almond milk smoothe and tame spray,  various mousses, water and gel mixture, sheamoisture buttercream for kids, buttercream and water mixture, etc  It all just seems to mat in the hair and make it straw-like and/or frizzy. Nothing seems to make it soft, not frizzy, and with defined waves/curls. By the end of the day, its also very stringy.  

    What am i doing wrong?? Is there any hope? 

    (FYI - we have added a silk pillowcase to her bed too, but being 4, she doesn't always keep her head on the pillow and moves around overnight, etc)
  • swimmer4110swimmer4110 Posts: 3Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Neophyte
    edited January 2018
    adding to my comment above - I know this is awful to say - but i have to admit that when I go to drop her off at preschool and so envious of the other littler girls with there perfect hair styled so nicely or cute.   :(   Everyone can lecture me how that's horrible - i know.  But i'm just so frustrated over dealing with her hair every morning and looking like I haven't even bothered to comb it (when I have!).  Again, growing up with straight hair and family of straight- hair girls/women, this is very new territory for me and I'm so clueless. 
  • WildberryWildberry Posts: 90Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Connoisseur

    @swimmer4110 It's understandable that you feel that way, and sometimes we just have to get our feelings out there. It's okay to be frustrated when all you want is to make your daughter look and feel good (hair should not hurt!).

    I'm new to CG, so I really can't help with the products stuff, but when you talked about the comb...have you tried tangle teezer? It brags about being a no-tears brush.

  • bomegabomega Posts: 1,355Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited January 2018
    I'm sorry - I wish I could help. :( My mom did make us both wear short hair (ear length) until we were old enough to argue about wanting to grow it out, because she didn't want to fuss with it.

    The tangle teaser does sound like it would be worth a try.
    Low-poo: Alaffia Coffee & Shea Revitalizing Shampoo for Fine/Thin Hair (summer), Alaffia Coconut & Shea Hydrating Shampoo
    Clarify: Kinky Curly Come Clean
    Rinse-out: Alaffia Coffee & Shea Revitalizing Conditioner for Fine/Thin Hair (summer), Alaffia Everyday Coconut Ultra Hydrating Conditioner
    DT: Camille Rose Naturals Algae Renew Deep Conditioner
    Leave-in: As I Am Leave-in
    Styler: Lily of the Desert 99% Aloe Vera Gelly
    Treatment: Daily tea spray; Coconut oil overnight treatment; Citric acid rinse for hard water; 2-step Henndigo w/ amla to cover gray

    2C, fine, low porosity, low/medium density, protein sensitive

    Looking for styling products and tools

    iHerb Code KQS149 for 5% off your order
  • LondonGreenLondonGreen Posts: 1Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Neophyte

    I see you posted this a while ago, so hopefully by now you’re having a lot more luck, but if not here’s my advice:

    • Are you using a microfibre towel (or old cotton t-shirt) to dry or wrap up your daughter’s wet hair? Normal terry cloth towels can make curly hair frizzy, so make the switch if you haven’t already.
    • Well done on getting a silk pillowcase – you’re already well ahead of the curve there! If you’re finding your daughter’s head doesn’t stay on the pillow at night you could also try a satin sleep cap so her hair is protected wherever her head moves to. (This is obviously dependent on her not minding wearing a hat to bed though!)
    • I’m not sure from your post but are you washing your daughter’s hair every day? And are you using a shampoo containing sulfates? Sulfates and frequent washing can dry out curly hair, which increases the frizz (for myself, even with a sulfate-free shampoo, I can only wash it once a week or it becomes a frizzy mess). As your daughter’s hair is fine, you could try a sulfate-free shampoo once a week and co-washing (i.e. washing with conditioner) in between shampoo-washes for example. There are a lot of people on Naturally Curly with similar hair to her who talk about their wash routines; you might find their methods have good results for your daughter.
    • If you’re not having success with different types of styling products (mousse, creams etc.) it may be it’s the technique you’re using to apply these that’s not working for your daughter’s curl type. Again, there’s lots of advice on these forums and a lot of YouTube tutorials that can help you with different techniques to try out to see what works well, so I’d recommend having a hunt around if you haven’t already.
    • I notice you’ve said she finds it painful when her hair is brushed even with a wide-tooth comb, so can I ask how you’re combing her hair? This might sound like a stupid question, but I’ve noticed my straight-haired friends start brushing the strands of their hair straight from the scalp in a simple top to bottom motion; and when I was younger people would try to comb my hair the same way. For my long, curly hair this technique is a recipe for disaster – and leads to my curls eating the combs. If this is something that you’ve been finding with your daughter’s hair, try brushing from the bottom: start detangling an inch or so from the ends then steadily go higher up the hair. I can speak from experience that this helps reduce the tears when it comes to brushing time!

     

    I hope at least some of this is helpful – curly hair is definitely a mixed blessing!

  • Creole PrincessCreole Princess Posts: 23Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Novice
    edited May 2018
    I'm going to chime in. My brother and sister in law has a son with long curly hair like that or maybe curlier, not sure, she just brush/comb out and put in a French braid, or was it a Dutch? The one where the braid isn't ontop of the scalp. But I suppose the point is to brush it out and put what you want on it that works for her and braid it. And if she doesn't mind get her a cap, scarf or something to cover her head.
    My Hair:
    2c/3a || Low Porosity/Average || High Density || Fine/Medium strands || Half Virgin Half Dyed Hair 

    Current Products:
    Shea Moisture Strengthen & Restore Shampoo || Shea Moisture Strengthen & Restore Conditioner || Shea Moisture Strengthen & Restore Hair Mask (DC) || Shea Moisture Strengthen & Restore Leave In || Cholesterol Hot Oil Treatment || Grape Seed Oil || Rice Water Rinse || 14 in 1 Moisturizer || Carol Daughter Vanilla Spray || Argan Oil Mouse || Style Factor Edge Boost || Salon Pro Maximum hold Twin Olive || Garnier Fructis Flat Iron Spray

    Currently Waist Length 29" || Goal: Classical Length 40"


  • CurlyCSCurlyCS Posts: 2Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Neophyte
    Have you tried pineappling? It seems so weird, but putting her hair in a ponytail on top of her head (looser than what you'd regularly wear for everyday play, but not so loose that it just falls right out), then take it out in the morning seems to help my fine, curly hair maintain it's curl overnight. In fact, my curls usually look better the day after I wash because it breaks up the product a little more and makes it softer. Even if you can't get all of her hair up (mine is pretty short, so it's just the top half that stays in the ponytail), protecting the top layer makes it look so much nicer in the morning. My hair always looks a little funky in the morning when I take it down, but then I spray it with some water/leave-in conditioner mix (heavier on the water than the conditioner) or run a little bit of oil through, and it looks pretty good! Also I NEVER comb my hair when it's dry; only when I'm just finished conditioning it. The only time I comb it dry is if it's especially tangly for some reason, I'll finger comb it before washing it. Getting tangles wet just makes them worse. If I need to fix some frizzy areas of my hair when it's dry, I wet my hands, put a little bit of gel on my fingers, and work it into the curl (rub the gel on both sides of the curl, scrunch it lightly). When it dries, it usually looks pretty good. 

    Last thing, but go you for trying to figure out your daughter's hair! I inherited my hair from my dad as well, and even though my mom's hair is a little wavy, she did not know that curly hair requires such a different approach! I've had to figure it all out for myself, but only after years and years of not being able to manage it! I'm 30 and finally just now figuring it out!! 
  • WavyKfromNJWavyKfromNJ Posts: 853Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I second the idea of a night time pineapple or maybe a braid or two.  Then in the morning if it is warm enough a light mist of water and maybe a dab or 2 of leave in conditioner.  I think those new Garnier 1 Minute mask would work well (they can be used as a mask or leave in).
    2b, 2c,
    High Porosity - Very Fine Hair

    Low Poo: Living Proof Restore Shampoo
    Rinse Out: Living Proof Restore Conditioner
    Leave In: Living Proof Curl Leave-In or Garnier 1 Minute Mask - Papaya
    Treatments: Restore Repair Leave-In, 
    Styling: Living Proof In-Shower Styler with Ouidad Advanced Climate Control Gel Stronger Hold
  • GretchenGretchen Administrator Posts: 10,840Moderators Curl Virtuoso
    @LondonGreen.... thanks for such a thoughtful answer and welcome to CurlTalk! 


    Gretchen
    NaturallyCurly.com co-founder
    3A

    You are beautiful!
  • GretchenGretchen Administrator Posts: 10,840Moderators Curl Virtuoso

    Gretchen
    NaturallyCurly.com co-founder
    3A

    You are beautiful!
  • CurlyCSCurlyCS Posts: 2Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Neophyte
    Have you tried pineappling? It seems so weird, but putting her hair in a ponytail on top of her head (looser than what you'd regularly wear for everyday play, but not so loose that it just falls right out), then take it out in the morning seems to help my fine, curly hair maintain it's curl overnight. In fact, my curls usually look better the day after I wash because it breaks up the product a little more and makes it softer. Even if you can't get all of her hair up (mine is pretty short, so it's just the top half that stays in the ponytail), protecting the top layer makes it look so much nicer in the morning. My hair always looks a little funky in the morning when I take it down, but then I spray it with some water/leave-in conditioner mix (heavier on the water than the conditioner) or run a little bit of oil through, and it looks pretty good! Also I NEVER comb my hair when it's dry; only when I'm just finished conditioning it. The only time I comb it dry is if it's especially tangly for some reason, I'll finger comb it before washing it. Getting tangles wet just makes them worse. If I need to fix some frizzy areas of my hair when it's dry, I wet my hands, put a little bit of gel on my fingers, and work it into the curl (rub the gel on both sides of the curl, scrunch it lightly). When it dries, it usually looks pretty good. 

    Last thing, but go you for trying to figure out your daughter's hair! I inherited my hair from my dad as well, and even though my mom's hair is a little wavy, she did not know that curly hair requires such a different approach! I've had to figure it all out for myself, but only after years and years of not being able to manage it! I'm 30 and finally just now figuring it out!! 
  • KristyLKristyL Posts: 2Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Neophyte
    I struggled with this problem with my four year old. My four year old daughter has very fine, 3A curls. I have the same type and my ten year old has maybe 2A to straight fine/medium. We can actually use some of the same products which is great. While I change my routine up theirs is about the same. On both girls, I use Elucence moisture balance shampoo and conditioner. (No cones ever in our hair.) I finger comb and then use the scalp brush (it has small plastic bristles close together) in the bath when she has conditioner in her hair. For both girls I leave in some conditioner. When the four year old gets out she flips and scrunches her hair.

    What I did to solve the bed head problem is to mix Kinky Curly Knot Today in a spray bottle with about 50% water. In the mornings, I or my husband (I had to teach him how to do this.) spray her hair from ears down with the KCKT and on the top of her head we just spray it with water only (that part doesn't get as tangled and loses curls so much). Then we finger detangle and use a small Denman brush (starting form ends working up to roots). She flips and scrunches again. She is good to go from there. We do this at night time as well if we don't wash her hair that night.

    I only wash her hair every other to every two days. I use KK Come Clean once a month to clarify her hair.  All the products I use on her hair have to be light weight because her hair so so very fine. She does have a satin pillow case but she would never let me pineapple her hair or wear a silk bonnet (I do that to mine.). She moves around a lot a night too.

    Before the KCKT spray mix brushing her hair was a nightmare. I do have to make sure I keep up with brushing and spraying it am and pm or we end up with knots that are difficult to remove.

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