Am i tripping?

C.Bear1993C.Bear1993 Posts: 2Registered Users Curl Neophyte
Hey guys, so i wanted to ask your opinion about something. So , i work at a financial institution. And this past Friday, we had a holiday outing for all the employees. We did a gift exchange , etc etc. during that time we also had drinks and everything. So, while we were all socializing and everything, we’re talking to one of older male (white) coworkers, and he proceeds to tell me that he doesn’t like when i wear my hair short (meaning natural). He like it straight, and “i should wear it straight”. My hair shrinks a lot, so it appears shorter than normal of course. Currently i have it straightened, and when i do, him and our manager makes a huge deal about it, complimenting me and everything. I don’t know why, but his comment made me feel so uncomfortable. Because i like wearing my hair natural and embracing my natural curl pattern. When he told me this, i honestly didn’t know what to say. Today is Monday, but for some reason m still dwelling about that. Do you all think I’m overreacting? Should i be this bothered about my coworkers comments about my hair, or should i just brush it off? I want to hear your thoughts. 

Best Answers

  • bomegabomega Posts: 1,355 Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2017 Accepted Answer
    Yeah, that is rude and inappropriate. What's more awful, is they probably think they are handling it well, like they are "being nice" when they compliment your straight hair, and "being helpful" when they say your natural hair is less attractive.
    Low-poo: Alaffia Coffee & Shea Revitalizing Shampoo for Fine/Thin Hair (summer), Alaffia Coconut & Shea Hydrating Shampoo
    Clarify: Kinky Curly Come Clean
    Rinse-out: Alaffia Coffee & Shea Revitalizing Conditioner for Fine/Thin Hair (summer), Alaffia Everyday Coconut Ultra Hydrating Conditioner
    DT: Camille Rose Naturals Algae Renew Deep Conditioner
    Leave-in: As I Am Leave-in
    Styler: Lily of the Desert 99% Aloe Vera Gelly
    Treatment: Daily tea spray; Coconut oil overnight treatment; Citric acid rinse for hard water; 2-step Henndigo w/ amla to cover gray

    2C, fine, low porosity, low/medium density, protein sensitive

    Looking for styling products and tools

    iHerb Code KQS149 for 5% off your order
  • GretchenGretchen Administrator Posts: 10,840 Curl Virtuoso
    Accepted Answer
    You're absolutely gorgeous and how you wear your hair is none of their damn business. Does it impact how you do your job? I doubt it, so they should shut up. I would go talk to HR, if you feel comfortable doing that. In the workplace, no one should say a damn thing about appearance unless it impairs your ability to do your job or violates a company policy. 
    It's not your job to wear your hair HOW SOME OTHER DUDE LIKES IT! 
    Ooooooooo this makes me so mad!!! 

    Gretchen
    NaturallyCurly.com co-founder
    3A

    You are beautiful!

Answers

  • StarmieStarmie Posts: 7,169Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    It would be bugging me too, I think it was rude and inappropriate. 
    3b in South Australia.
  • jeepcurlygurljeepcurlygurl Posts: 20,724Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Virtuoso
    edited December 2017
    Super rude. I would have had to keep my rude reply to myself but it would have been difficult.
    If that's you in your avatar - you and your hair are both smashing. 
    --I'm located in Western PA.   --I found NC in late 2004, CG since February 2005, joined the forums in May 2005, started going grey in late 2005.   --My hair is 3B with some 3A, currently at mid back length when dry,  texture-medium/fine, porosity-top is low, middle is medium, ends are porous, elasticity-normal.   --My long time favorite products are Suave & VO5 conditioners, LA Looks Sport Gel, coconut oil, honey, vinegar.   
    --My CG and grey hair progress -  
    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/going-gray/179328-jeepys-grey-hair-progress.html   
    --My article at NaturallyCurly about going grey - 
    https://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/color/how-i-went-completely-gray-and-loved-it
  • Hullacurls92Hullacurls92 Posts: 28Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Yeah that is so wrong and you have a right to be angry!! Unfortunately, at least for me, society has always  made me feel as if I needed to hide my natural hair and wearing it straight was the only acceptable way! I wore it natural on and off in college, but It was just this fall that I fully embraced my natural hair 😊

    Now I am starting to love my hair and embrace it! So keep it up, your hair looks amazing! Dont let anyone make you feel less beautiful or lesser in any way because if your hair!
  • Guide 65Guide 65 Posts: 1,984Registered Users, Moderators Curl Virtuoso
    See, there's the compliment, which is good.  "Nice hair!"  "I like it!"  "looking good!"  Those are fine, coming from either females or males, in the workplace or where ever.

    Then there's the backhanded compliment.  Which is what this is.  It wasn't just complimenting your new hairstyle, it was at the same time criticizing your natural hair.

    It was really rude, and you are not overreacting.  Your natural hair is beautiful, and you should wear it like that, or straighten it, whenever YOU want to, not because it pleases someone else.
    Formerly known as Janiegirl
    2B/2C, fine hair, low density, mixed porosity, protein loving hair
    Current products:
    Changing up my shampoos because I can't find one I like
    Deva Curl One Condition (original formula)
    Innersense I Create Volume
    Deva Curl Ultra Defining Gel
  • baeby_dollbaeby_doll Posts: 15Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Novice
    I believe you have every right to be upset! However, if you're not financially in the position to *bring this up with the offenders* then I would just nod and smile until your situation gets better. So sorry this happened :( 
  • WavyKfromNJWavyKfromNJ Posts: 853Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Super Rude and Super clueless considering all that has been going on with the #MeToo movement.

    If you manager is making you uncomfortable about your hair you should get yourself to HR.
    2b, 2c,
    High Porosity - Very Fine Hair

    Low Poo: Living Proof Restore Shampoo
    Rinse Out: Living Proof Restore Conditioner
    Leave In: Living Proof Curl Leave-In or Garnier 1 Minute Mask - Papaya
    Treatments: Restore Repair Leave-In, 
    Styling: Living Proof In-Shower Styler with Ouidad Advanced Climate Control Gel Stronger Hold
  • C.Bear1993C.Bear1993 Posts: 2Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Thank you so much guys, i really appreciate your support , and your thoughts  about it. I didn’t even think to bring this up with HR, but i just might!
  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,227Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    It's not sexual harassment, but it is harassment - and usually to a woman.  How arrogant and condescending that man is.  What a jerk!  I'm very sorry and very angry that you experienced this.  







     
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file