How do you respond to this Natural Hair question?

MIA1487MIA1487 Registered Users Posts: 85 Curl Neophyte
I NEED HELP! Ok since this natural hair movement started years ago...(well about 10yrs now I think). I never was apart of the movement. Although I've been a natural 4b/4c all my life, I never thought of being natural as a movement for me...anyway to my question....

My hair is long stretched 4b/4c hair and the most common question I get mostly from females and sometimes from men(I think they are gay) is ....

"So how long have you been growing your hair??"


I HATE this question because I never know how to answer. I mean my hair has never really been short and the one time it was was in junior high and everyone was doing the Toni Braxton hair style. But my hair grows very fast. So I was back to normal in no time. I never had a journey of actually growing my hair..it just grew. So when people ask me this I never know what to say! I always shrug and say "I don't know" lol. But they always seem to have this expression of "how can she not know". IMO it's like people think seeing a black woman with long 4b/4c hair is an anomoly so she must be with this new movement. Because otherwise she'd be relaxed or something. Well growing up my mom never liked straight hair...and neither did I. I did have a relaxer when I was like 11-12(short Toni Braxton hair style at that time). But then I grew out my natural hair and never had another relaxer again. Sure i'd hot comb my hair time to time but I'd always put curls in it(so I wouldn't make it pin straight, just straight enough to add the rollers). I mean is it so hard to believe that someone with my hair texture just was natural ALL the time and never had the desire to straighten her hair or wear fake straight hair. I had a nightmare that someone forced me to wear fake straight hair, I literally woke up crying. I think straight fake hair looks so ridiculous on black women(I'm a black woman so I would think it'd look bad on me too). IMO me walking around with straight hair wig/weave is like walking outside in a clown outfit. I mean It just don't look right. Yes I do know some blacks by nature have straight hair mostly in Australia. But most of us have coily or curly hair sometimes wavy but RARELY straight.

Comments

  • NatrulyMeNatrulyMe Registered Users Posts: 166 Curl Connoisseur
    MIA1487 wrote: »
    I NEED HELP! Ok since this natural hair movement started years ago...(well about 10yrs now I think). I never was apart of the movement. Although I've been a natural 4b/4c all my life, I never thought of being natural as a movement for me...anyway to my question....

    My hair is long stretched 4b/4c hair and the most common question I get mostly from females and sometimes from men(I think they are gay) is ....

    "So how long have you been growing your hair??"


    I HATE this question because I never know how to answer. I mean my hair has never really been short and the one time it was was in junior high and everyone was doing the Toni Braxton hair style. But my hair grows very fast. So I was back to normal in no time. I never had a journey of actually growing my hair..it just grew. So when people ask me this I never know what to say! I always shrug and say "I don't know" lol. But they always seem to have this expression of "how can she not know". IMO it's like people think seeing a black woman with long 4b/4c hair is an anomoly so she must be with this new movement. Because otherwise she'd be relaxed or something. Well growing up my mom never liked straight hair...and neither did I. I did have a relaxer when I was like 11-12(short Toni Braxton hair style at that time). But then I grew out my natural hair and never had another relaxer again. Sure i'd hot comb my hair time to time but I'd always put curls in it(so I wouldn't make it pin straight, just straight enough to add the rollers). I mean is it so hard to believe that someone with my hair texture just was natural ALL the time and never had the desire to straighten her hair or wear fake straight hair. I had a nightmare that someone forced me to wear fake straight hair, I literally woke up crying. I think straight fake hair looks so ridiculous on black women(I'm a black woman so I would think it'd look bad on me too). IMO me walking around with straight hair wig/weave is like walking outside in a clown outfit. I mean It just don't look right. Yes I do know some blacks by nature have straight hair mostly in Australia. But most of us have coily or curly hair sometimes wavy but RARELY straight.

    Hi, MIA1487.
    I wouldn't answer those people that ask if I do not feel like it. It is none of their business. I agree, black women from 3b-4c can have long hair. Also, black women do not have to be bi-racial to have 3a-3c hair patterns either (I know you did not mention this in your post, but I am just adding it in). Although, most of the time one never know because of slavery. Furthermore, there are blacks from different tribes too (not going into details here @NC). Meanwhile, in my late teens and early twenties, I rocked the "Toni Braxton" hair cut too! Loved It!!--Until my edges start falling out from the perm. Eventually, I start putting chemicals in my hair every three-four months until my late thirties. Then, I did the BC (big chopped). In addition, I never felt that "weave" or "wigs" were for me either. I can honestly say that I only worn braid extensions a handful of times in my life (for summer vacation). Anyways, I cannot stand the wigs, sew-in weave, etc. Yet, I guess it is different strokes for different folks?"


    Pattern: 3C/4A 
    Characteristics: (Spongy/Coarse/Curly Kinky)
    Porosity: High
    Density: Medium
    Hair Width: Medium Sized Strands
    Elasticity: Medium Elasticity

    SL - APL - BSL - MBL - WL - TBL

    My hair is armpit length when silk pressed (so close to BSL).
    Natural state: awkward stage; shoulder length (front is above chin length and back is almost shoulder length).
    Goal: MBL
    10-28-15 (BC Date)


  • MsSofteeMsSoftee Registered Users Posts: 27 Curl Neophyte
    Maybe you could tell these people something like "my hair's been growing since before I was even born".

    Maybe that's too flippant for many situations, but people can be such unknowing jerks and being a jerk about someone else's hair is a special kind of rude that is hard to absorb sometimes without being a little flip.
  • AddeeAddee Registered Users Posts: 412 Curl Connoisseur
    I just say I’m not growing my hair out. Leave it at that. Same when people ask how long it took to get to my current length. I don’t know. I’ve cut my hair many times. 
    Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.
  • ExMathMajorExMathMajor Registered Users Posts: 23 Curl Neophyte
    Well, seeing as my last haircut was in October, I'd say, "Since October." *shrug*

    I never had long hair as a child but I've always known black women and girls with long hair of all textures and the vast majority of them did NOT have a nonblack parent. What they had -- especially the ones with what we now like to call 4b/4c textures -- was education in how best to care for their texture so that it would thrive.

    I suspect I'm older than many of the people who post though. I remember the days before kiddie perms came along (never mind extensions and weave) and it seemed more young black girls had more hair back then.
    4b/4c/4a + 20 years + nearly every natural hairstyle including locs = IT REALLY IS JUST HAIR. And I love mine! :angel9:

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