Help please!!!

mantha27

Hi, first post here. I really want my hair to be healthy again.. but I've been trying to transition for about 3 months now and I've gotten no good results.
I've dyed my hair a lot since I was around 12 going-on 13 years old, and I'll be 16 in November. It's only been about 3 years, but I'd dye it once every 4-5 months.

I always dyed it light browns and auburn colors. My hair is naturally really dark brown, so I figured those wouldn't hurt me too bad.. but one day, I decided I wanted to go blonde and it ruined everything.

My hair is super dry. It feels like straw, and it just doesn't curl properly at all. I'll wash my hair and once it's about 45% dry, I just see lots of frizzy straight parts mixed in with 3a curls that are mostly by my face and on the back of my head. It only stays like that for about a day, and then when I wake up it's flat. I'm also pretty sure that I have breakage. :sad10:

I think what I need is a big chop, but my family all has straight hair (besides my mom, who has 2a/2b waves) and our hairdresser would cut it wrong. (She always cuts it wet, blow-dries, and straightens afterwards.) I also really hate having short hair and I'm worried that I'll get too much cut off. It's only at my shoulders right now.

I feel hopeless and like the only answer is to give up and go back to my old habits. I don't know what to do.

bomega

Your hair sounds different than mine, but hair that has suffered heat or chemical damage (relaxer, dye, etc.) is usually high porosity and really benefits from protein. You could do a protein deep treat, or get it in your products.

BrittanyM

OK, so you've got a bit of work cut out for you.
1. You need to start the curly girl method (modify if needed). This is just to get your hair hydrated. No silicones, no sulfates (unless you experience build up). Don't wash your hair daily.
2. Find a deep conditioner and a protein treatment. Aphogee makes a two step protein treatment (albeit it has silicones) that may help rebuild your hair. You can try the trial size at Sally's first to make sure you like it. Let me know if you'd like product suggestions.
3. Co wash most of the time if able. Perhaps even pre-poo before shampooing or cowashing.
4. Deep condition at least once a week. Try for twice at first.
5. Leave in is always necessary.
The above is because right now your hair is begging for moisture yet it probably is high porosity and loses moisture just as easily.
If you have split ends, get your hair cut off as much as you can stand. Don't feel like you need to push it though.
The last thing you want right now is heat on your hair, so don't use any heat. Tell the stylist that you don't want your hair styled. Leave the salon with wet hair if necessary (it's odd, but I do it all the time).
If you are able, get an Olaplex stand alone treatment at a salon. I think it ranges about $30 USD. It's not absolutely necessary, but it does repair bonds in the hair.
This will take time. If you don't see improvement in 3 or so months, or the condition of your hair worsens, you might need to big chop.
In the meantime, get a set of updos and hair styles that you can do daily until your hair looks better and is able to be worn down. Stay away from dye for at least 6 months if you are able. Look up how to grow out your roots gracefully.
The good news is that no product will be too moisturizing for your hair, and you may find that your hair is not weighed down by any products either.
Definitely don't do what I did at 16 which was dye it platinum blonde, overlap dye every month, use sulfate shampoos daily, and straighten daily. My hair somehow miraculously did not break into a pixie cut, but it broke off so bad.
Best of luck!

mantha27

Thanks so much! It definitely looks like I have to do a lot of research. I took the NC hair quiz, and while I don't know my curl pattern for sure right now, I learned that I have medium density and coarse hair, along with high porosity hair like you said.
I'm getting a hair cut sometime this week, and I'll most likely get about 3 inches trimmed off. Luckily it's been about 7 months since I've last dyed my hair, so the extremely damaged parts should be gone in just a few more trims. (Sadly, after I went blonde I went red again with more bleach.)
I went to Sally's today and bought a few conditioner samples and styling cream samples, like Shea Moisture Jamaican black castor oil strengthen & restore conditioner. I'd love more suggestions if you have any, cause I'm still really lost on what's good and what's bad, but I've read that SM is a really good curly brand so I mostly stuck to that with my samples.

BrittanyM

The shea moisture black castor one is good (I rebought it which is rare for me to repurchase a product). The shea moisture manuka honey and mafura oil intensive hydration is great for moisture (another repurchase). The aphogee two minute reconstructor is also good. It's not as strong as the 2 step, but it doesn't have silicone and doesn't have the obnoxious smell.
Until you grow your hair our or repair it, just alternate between deep conditioners and protein. Try putting a processing cap, shower cap, or plastic shopping bag over your hair when you do a treatment. It does help a good bit.
Also try an overnight coconut oil treatment. It's surprisingly effective. If you try this, you definitely want to put a towel over your pillow.
Luckily, the damage is probably almost gone. I think everyone who wants to dye their hair destroys it at least once. Once you get rid of the damage, you can start dying again with more knowledge of just how far you can push your hair (which is more knowledge than a few hair stylists have). Best of luck!