New and No idea what I'm doing

triangletriangle Registered Users Posts: 4

I am just going to copy paste what I wrote before. I was told to come here with any questions.

"I have no idea what my hair type is. I have no idea what my porosity is 100%. I have no idea how to deal with my hair. I dont know how to work or style my hair. I am the only person with extremely curly hair in my home who is trying to grow it out. My sister has naturally straight hair. Everyone else cuts their hair because they are guys. I'm the only doofy looking one in the house. My hair rarely listens to me, and when it does, it doesnt last at all. There are many times I want to cut it all off or perm it-- but then I realize I find straight hair really boring for me. It's cute but... I want to do other things with my hair. Also i hate being at the salon for hours.

Even though i get frustrated with it, i do have patience with it. And I do love my hair. And when I feel the little curls, it makes me really happy. I just want them to all take that shape and stop huggin one enough and getting all tangled.

From the years of trying to figure out what to do with my hair since my chop, I've learned:
- Youtube is absolutely terrible for looking for help
- books can only go over so much, and you cant ask the book questions and expect answers
- My hair gets really hair with coconut oil... To the point I really dont like how hard it is.
- Washing with conditioner feels a lot better than shampoo
- That cup and hair thing... is weird. My hair just floats, but when I accidently knock it, it sinks
- My hair takes time to dry in the inside. Like all day.
- My hair gets really dry.
- sometimes I feel like nothing is getting into it... but when I put conditioner it feels so nice. But then afterwards it's not all nice anymore.
- stuff builds up a lot on my hair and quickly.
- Veryyy tanglyyy
- I am mostly 4 something. but I do have these weird straigh hairs or wavy hairs in certain sections. The back hairs are very coilly, the middle is more swirly, the middle-middle is looser, and the front is swirly and looser. Middle-middle and front do not do well with twist outs or manual curling.

Here are just screenshots of them then.. For some reason uploading doesnt work.

I wish I could get the rest of my hair to make these cute curls. But they just come out all tangled and poofy. Also example of my twist out. they never really last...
I tried some wet hair gel thing to try to get my hair to do something. It kinda worked... I got those cute little curls, but everything else is a hot mess. And it's dry...


This was during pre-poo time. My hair never feels that springy without the gel shown above. It just clumps up together and tangles:

I tried to look up the answers before asking. That offical thread really wasn't helpful. All the hair looks the same to me on the celebrities listed. and it's not close up. I can't tell by looking. I cant even tell the difference between S and Z curls. Tilt it and you got the opposites.

I tried and failed at many things. I dont know what I am doing wrong, but I know I am doing something wrong. I am just happy my hair has patience with me while I am trying to learn about it. lol. Sorry about grammer and spelling. I am work on 0 sleep.

Big plus if you could give tips about hair care after swimming.
Also I really like to wear baseball caps, if it's possible, can we get my hair to be friends with my caps?

Please if you have any questions... go easy on me. I really dont know anything about this. lol.


  • WonderfullyKamWonderfullyKam Registered Users Posts: 30
    Your hair definitely sounds like low-porosity from the points you have made about build-up, conditioner losing its effect when washed out etc.

    I know you mentioned you don't find Youtube helpful but they can come out with some gems. Pretty much all my favourite curly/natural hair Youtubers are in the 4 category (very different from my own hair). There's one called MyThriftedCloset - she has low-porosity hair and a lot of her videos centre around that. She has a playlist focusing on the topic so I would definitely give her a try and just see if you find her helpful.

    On swimming, I was advised by my hairdresser to generously apply coconut oil to my hair before swimming then when I'm back from swimming, cleanse and deep condition. As your hair doesn't like coconut oil maybe try this technique with olive oil instead?

    2c/3a, fine-medium strands, high density, normal-high porosity.
  • triangletriangle Registered Users Posts: 4
    Thanks so much for this! I really love swimming so that really helps. I will try this.

    I will check that person out. I would just see everyone saying do different things, and none of them worked. The only thing that they all said that was the same was use coconut oil. Jojoba oil would feel great on my hair. I am trying almond oil right now. Honestly cant tell the difference in my hair, but I will try to figure something out.

    Maybe I am using it wrong? How exactly are you suppose to use oil. It doesnt seem very clear for me.
  • bomegabomega Registered Users Posts: 1,355 Curl Virtuoso
    Hi Triangle,

    I'm sorry you didn't get more replies over here. I'm pretty new to, but from longtime member's comments it seems to have slowed down.

    When I oil my hair, I usually apply some to the roots first, and then to the length. Then I go back and kind of rub into the scalp with my finger tips, which also gets oil into the first few inches of hair, and then I use the praying hands technique to work it into the length. I oil until it is very greasy and leave in overnight, then shampoo out the next morning (followed by rinse-out conditioner.) I usually do this once every other week when I color my hair, but my hair could benefit from doing it once a week.

    With selecting an oil, you should consider the oil's behavior first (penetrating vs. coating) in addition to each oil's other unique properties (what vitamins it has, solid/liquid, etc.). Coconut oil is considered very penetrating and helps to moisturize hair for many people, which is why it is so popular, but some people's hair doesn't do well for reasons unknown (and it sounds like you are in this category.) Many of those people do better with olive oil, which is still penetrating, so they get those benefits. (Try to use the non-extra virgin olive oil, or you will smell like pasta. Not that *that's* bad...but it makes me hungry and hae to *eat*! :)) Oils that are coating are good for protection, shine and smoothing, and jojoba oil is know to be coating. This isn't necessarily bad (or good for that matter) just something to keep in mind.

    Here is a great article about oil on the Sciency hair blog: Science-y Hair Blog: Oils – Which Ones Soak In vs. Coat the Hair?. Based on this article it looks like almond oil is medium penetrating, but if you have some its worth a try.

    There might be an article on Live Curly Live Free somewhere too.

    From your pictures, it looks like you could use some more moisture. We can give you more tips for your routine, but can you share more about your routine? You mentioned cowashing works well for your hair. Are you still doing a weekly shampoo? Do you use a rinseout conditioner? Or styling products?
    Low-poo: Alaffia Coffee & Shea Revitalizing Shampoo for Fine/Thin Hair (summer), Alaffia Coconut & Shea Hydrating Shampoo
    Clarify: Kinky Curly Come Clean
    Rinse-out: Alaffia Coffee & Shea Revitalizing Conditioner for Fine/Thin Hair (summer), Alaffia Everyday Coconut Ultra Hydrating Conditioner
    DT: Camille Rose Naturals Algae Renew Deep Conditioner
    Leave-in: As I Am Leave-in
    Styler: Lily of the Desert 99% Aloe Vera Gelly
    Treatment: Daily tea spray; Coconut oil overnight treatment; Citric acid rinse for hard water; 2-step Henndigo w/ amla to cover gray

    2C, fine, low porosity, low/medium density, protein sensitive

    Looking for styling products and tools

    iHerb Code KQS149 for 5% off your order
  • WonderfullyKamWonderfullyKam Registered Users Posts: 30
    No problem triangle. =] - I get your frustration, i guess because there are so many elements to take into consideration it's easy to get overwhelmed. I did.

    All of bomega's info is really helpful too. I too use oils as a pre-poo overnight, putting into a spray bottle, spraying directly on my scalp and massaging in then coating the rest of my hair. I wear one of those conditioning caps (you know the type that look like foil-covered plastic caps) and then wrap a scarf around that. I'm really sold on those conditioning caps! I've been pre-pooing with oils since way before I started wearing my hair curly and I definitely see the difference. Almost like the stands have become plump from penetrating properly? Hard to explain.

    I also add some almond oil to my DIY deep conditioner. I've experimented with using oil to seal in the moisture but for me I'm not convinced it makes a huge difference either way.

    I agree that more info on your routine would be helpful =]
    2c/3a, fine-medium strands, high density, normal-high porosity.
  • Isabel_erwinIsabel_erwin Registered Users Posts: 1
    It's ok! Breathe! You have beautiful hair! Here are some things in response to some of the things you've said:
    Washing with conditioner feels a lot better than shampoo
    Is this while you're still in the shower, or after? If you have low porosity hair, you have to use shampoo sometimes to avoid buildup. However, you can always try cowashing. Just be careful to clarify your hair from time to time.
    - That cup and hair thing... is weird. My hair just floats, but when I accidently knock it, it sinks:
    You definitely have low porosity hair
    - My hair takes time to dry in the inside. Like all day.
    Haha, so does mine, I like to let my hair dry overnight. Try a scarf or a bonnet or something to preserve your curls
    - My hair gets really dry.
    I recommend leaving deep conditioner in your hair overnight. Deep conditioner seems like the answer to a lot of your problems.
    - sometimes I feel like nothing is getting into it... but when I put conditioner it feels so nice. But then afterwards it's not all nice anymore.:
    I totally get that. Companies put things in conditioner to make your hair feel silky when wet. Make sure your conditioner doesn't have silicones in it. Be wary of things ending in cone.
    - stuff builds up a lot on my hair and quickly.
    Get a clarifying shampoo or add baking soda to your shampoo sometimes.
    - Veryyy tanglyyy
    As long as you can detangle your hair in the shower when it's conditioned, it's not the end of the world if it's tangled when dry, since you shouldn't be detangling it at any time but then to avoid screwing up your curl pattern.
    - I am mostly 4 something. but I do have these weird straigh hairs or wavy hairs in certain sections. The back hairs are very coilly, the middle is more swirly, the middle-middle is looser, and the front is swirly and looser.
    That's totally normal
    Middle-middle and front do not do well with twist outs or manual curling.
    I have very different hair from yours, so I can't do twist outs, and so I can't really help you with that :(
  • Galadriel929Galadriel929 Registered Users Posts: 1
    Hey Triangle,

    I feel your pain! Hopefully you've figured some of this out already but I wanted to add something my old stylist told me about swimming. She said if you can wet your hair with plain water first, it will saturate with that and then absorb less of the chlorinated water. I would also maybe try a deep, leave in conditioner (without silicone) to maybe add before or after you wet it. You might have to experiment to see what works best for you!
  • OpheliaGOpheliaG Registered Users Posts: 2
    i have a love hate relationship with coconut oil also, all of my friends get great results right out of the jar, but i am one of those people who can't use coconut oil on it's own , but when i use it with a little bit of castor oil and avocado oil blended in it works wonders.. so, maybe if you dilute it a bit with another oil you like and add castor oil you will get more consistent results with your styler gels.

    and i don't know how much this will help, but deep treatments with avocado and coconut milk plus a smidge of castor oil really helps to soften hair and promote uniform texture.

    but, when i'm lazy shea moisture head to toe baby shampoo and shea moisture conditioner mask are really awesome.

    good gel stylers for hard to curl hair :
    kinky kurly kurling custard 2,3,4 type hair
    xtreme wet styling gel (amazing) 4z and beyond

    good luck!
  • almond_joyalmond_joy Registered Users Posts: 10 Curl Neophyte
    One of the main things that saved my hair was deep conditioning every wash. I don't even buy regular conditioner anymore. I've used Queen Helene Cholesterol when I'm feeling cheap, but right now I'm loving Taliah Waajid restorative conditioner. I personally follow up with a leave in (diluted in water to prevent adding too much product), styling cream, and good ol' fashioned hair grease. It's my second time using grease and my hair has been moisturized for days. Aside from JBCO, oils have never sealed in moisture for more than a few hours for me....

    It sounds like you have low porosity hair, like a couple others have said. Because I don't have low porosity hair, I don't feel super knowledgable enough to suggest much to you regarding regimen -- my habits and product faves are for high porosity lol. Here's a link of "do's & don'ts for low porosity hair" I thought you'd find helpful: Do's & Don'ts of Low Porosity Hair |

    I looked at the list, and was like, "yeah, I can't relate to any of that!" I hope it helps!

    I also found this paragraph on the website somewhere: "Naturals with low porosity have a tightly bound cuticle layer that lays flat and can be hard for products to penetrate and get the good stuff in! Low porosity strands resist moisture and are protein-sensitive, so steering clear of protein or using it sparingly is ideal. Low porosity hair requires moisturizers rich in emollients such as shea butter, jojoba oil, and coconut oil. It also benefits from humectant products, which attract and hold moisture to your hair. Choose lighter, liquid-based products such as hair milks that won't sit on your hair and leave it oily or greasy. Here are 15 products that will not leave stubborn strands weighed down."

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