Help! My mom isn't a fan of me doing my hair

I have just finished my sophomore year of college-which means I moved back home for the summer. I came back with basket ball shorts, car full of items, and my hair in a high puff. In my head I hoped my mom wouldn't say anything about my hair (like she always does.)

The last time my mom saw me was just a few weeks ago at my percussion concert. She hinted at my hair being not the way she liked, "Your hair. Looks like a valcano!"

(Just so you know, she said something about my hair when I got home too)

I started doing my hair at the end of high school but only from time to time. In going away to college, I decided that I wanted to learn to be able to take full control of myself. I know its not happening over night-heck I don't have the urge to even drive yet. However, I figured living on campus-I didn't want to have to make frequent trips back home just to get my hair done (since i don't live too far from school).

My mom has told me my whole life NOT to perm my hair. She has done my hair my entire life, keeping it curly and healthy. It got really long too. Almost waist length!
Then I went to a predominately white school at the end of middle school and began to feel unconfident in my hair. I wanted to show people I had length and wear it out. I would've straightened it if I knew how, too. I damaged my ends to the point of having to cut off almost half of my hair. (shoulder length). My mom was very mad with me and still hasn't let it go. I gave up and let her do my hair from there on out.

Now, however, I would like to take control of my hair. I want to learn and I know I am not great at it but that is why I need to practice. My mom doesn't seem very keen on that idea and is immediately demanding to something with it. I've tried to talk to her about it but it isn't easy. She even started to consider perming/relaxing it to make it "easy" for me when I'm away.

I love my curly hair. I love my mom. I am just sure if I should cave and let her do as she pleases with my hair or to continue holding my ground and do it myself.

Does anyone else go through this?

Comments

  • Therese1Therese1 Posts: 2,563Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I'm sorry that you're having a problem with your mom. IMO, although parents mean well, they really need to let their young-adult children care for their own hair. And no, you're not the only one. I've seen quite a few posts on this board with similar sentiments.

    Do you know what your hair properties are? Fine or coarse hair diameter? High or low porosity? Have you tried the Curly Girl method?
    Low poo: Intelligent Nutrients (IN) Harmonic; Oribe Cleansing Creme
    RO: IN Harmonic
    LI: CJ Beauticurls; Jessicurl (JC) Gelebration Spray
    DC: JC Deep Conditioning Treatment; Weleda Rosemary Conditioning Oil
    Stylers: JC Confident Coils; IN Volumizing Spray; IN Perfect Hold Hairspray; John Masters Sea Mist; Bumble Bb. Gel; Kenra Firm-Hold Gel; Sevi Blue Yarrow Sea Salt Spray
    Low-porosity 2a/b baby-fine hair
  • Therese1Therese1 Posts: 2,563Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I'm sorry that you're having a problem with your mom. IMO, although parents mean well, they really need to let their young-adult children care for their own hair. And no, you're not the only one. I've seen quite a few posts on this board with similar sentiments.

    Do you know what your hair properties are? Fine or coarse hair diameter? High or low porosity? Have you tried the Curly Girl method?
    Low poo: Intelligent Nutrients (IN) Harmonic; Oribe Cleansing Creme
    RO: IN Harmonic
    LI: CJ Beauticurls; Jessicurl (JC) Gelebration Spray
    DC: JC Deep Conditioning Treatment; Weleda Rosemary Conditioning Oil
    Stylers: JC Confident Coils; IN Volumizing Spray; IN Perfect Hold Hairspray; John Masters Sea Mist; Bumble Bb. Gel; Kenra Firm-Hold Gel; Sevi Blue Yarrow Sea Salt Spray
    Low-porosity 2a/b baby-fine hair
  • StarmieStarmie Posts: 7,169Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I don't know how old you are (don't know what sophomore is, lol) but if you're old enough to be away at college then surely you're old enough to be doing your own hair. Maybe let your mum do it for the summer but ask her to teach you as she does it, after all you're going to be completely independent of your parents at some point and need to be doing these things for yourself, surely she must see that?
    I think my mum breathed a great sigh of relief when I was old enough to be doing my own hair and she didn't have to fight with it any more!
    3b in South Australia.
  • StarmieStarmie Posts: 7,169Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I don't know how old you are (don't know what sophomore is, lol) but if you're old enough to be away at college then surely you're old enough to be doing your own hair. Maybe let your mum do it for the summer but ask her to teach you as she does it, after all you're going to be completely independent of your parents at some point and need to be doing these things for yourself, surely she must see that?
    I think my mum breathed a great sigh of relief when I was old enough to be doing my own hair and she didn't have to fight with it any more!
    3b in South Australia.
  • GlamourstruckkGlamourstruckk Posts: 312Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Starmie, a sophomore is in the 2nd year of college (university). OP is likely 19-20 y/o. I struggled with my mom at your age. I was going natural and she was not on board. I even uploaded a video crying my eyes out. (Not linking it but it IS public on my channel)

    It's been years since all of this and my best advice is to stick it out. My mom (I think) likes my natural hair and never says anything about it. She just didn't fully understand or see the end goal like I could at the time.

    Kayla

    Youtube - Website
    4b/Density:iii/Strands:Fine, MBL
  • NightRainNightRain Posts: 2Registered Users
    Thank you ladies.

    Despite being as stubborn as I am and wanting to claim my independence, I will let her do it once-maybe twice this summer. Definitely going to use this time to get better with my hair care regime that way when I go back to school I wont feel overwhelmed by my academics and taking proper care of myself.
  • bomegabomega Posts: 1,353Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Good luck NightRain. Moms mean well, but sometimes its hard for them to accept that their children are growing up and can take care of themselves.

    Nc.com and other websites are great resources available to you to learn. Sciency Hairblog and Live Free Live Curly are a couple I heard of here. I think there is a nc.com member who does hair testing to give you ideas for what could work with your hair too. Have you read the Curly Girl Book? I haven't but if they had a book like that when I was in college, I would definitely checked it out. (ok...honestly, I haven't read it yet, but it turns out it is available at my public library, so I'm going to be getting it soon.:)) Sounds like if your mom can let go a little she is a great resource to learn from too.

    Good luck.
    Low-poo: Alaffia Coffee & Shea Revitalizing Shampoo for Fine/Thin Hair (summer), Alaffia Coconut & Shea Hydrating Shampoo
    Clarify: Kinky Curly Come Clean
    Rinse-out: Alaffia Coffee & Shea Revitalizing Conditioner for Fine/Thin Hair (summer), Alaffia Everyday Coconut Ultra Hydrating Conditioner
    DT: Camille Rose Naturals Algae Renew Deep Conditioner
    Leave-in: As I Am Leave-in
    Styler: Lily of the Desert 99% Aloe Vera Gelly
    Treatment: Daily tea spray; Coconut oil overnight treatment; Citric acid rinse for hard water; 2-step Henndigo w/ amla to cover gray

    2C, fine, low porosity, low/medium density, protein sensitive

    Looking for styling products and tools

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