Hello! - I've ALWAYS hated my hair.

curly_sadiecurly_sadie Registered Users Posts: 2
Hello! I've gotten advice/answers to problems on this website a lot in the past and have finally decided to join the community.

I've always hated my hair. I was born with kinky, curly, bright red hair. It used to be maybe 3B/3A and I had no idea how to style it. I used to get teased so much in school. I was already a shy kid and then I had to deal with coming home and picking out bits of paper and eraser out of my hair. Sometimes the other kids would even try to stick pencils and fling food into my hair and yes, it would stick, and I could totally feel it, and could totally feel the heat of shame on my cheeks as my friends helped me get it out.

When I was about 16 I was introduced to a flat iron. I remember my first time my hair was straightened I cried when I had to wash it and it went right back to kinky curls. I got addicted and had to get my own Chi flat iron and even got a chemical relaxer. The worst part is I started getting some positive attention from boys, I started feeling beautiful for once. And I say worst part because it just made me all the more ashamed of my natural curls and addicted to straight hair, which would be fine if it wasn't so damaging!

Here I am at 26 with super damaged hair and I'm terrified of going bald. My hair is thinning so much on top I have to be careful of how I style it or you can see my scalp. A lot of hair comes out in the shower too even though I try to be gentle and use a lot of conditioners and a wide tooth comb. I've been trying to wear it curly but it looks ridiculous. Maybe a 2B (wavy curvy) on top and 2C-3A (wavy whirly, curly twirly) underneath and the ends are frizzed and damaged. And my bangs... my bangs are toast. Straight and damaged and too short to trim much.

I'm taking steps and am hoping to find more advice here. My hair is slowly getting better but I just CAN'T WAIT for the day I finally feel beautiful. I want a beautiful mane of red curls I can be proud of!

Comments

  • Gaby.VintimiGaby.Vintimi Registered Users Posts: 124 Curl Neophyte
    I'm sorry you felt in that way and that kids were mean to you.
    Don't hate your hair, I'm sure it's beautiful and that you are beautiful wearing it natural.
    I have a similar story, kids weren't as mean as what you have said, but maybe it is because I had my hair always tightly in a pony tail or bun. Tried everything to get it to look smooth, shinny and straight. Finally convinced my mom to buy the ceramic pro flat iron. But unlike you, I couldn't manage my hair simply wouldn't get straight. So let it be and found out I had curls, never looked back, that shy and insecure kid was gone and my hair became my personality, it opened me.
    I hope you get to love your hair and make it a proud part of you, with the bad hair days, the fluffiness, the frizz and the good days, the shinny soft and perfect curl days.
    For your journey, first you need to figure out the shedding. Is it breakage? or shed? when you shed hair it comes out with the follicle, so you will see at either end a white bulb and the hair will be usually the longest hair, sine it's old hair that dies naturally. If it is breakage then you won't see the white dot, the fallen hairs will be of all sort of lengths, since it's breaking at any given spot. It's natural to shed about 100 hairs a day, as a straight hair person you don't see it because it falls in the brush, anywhere and everywhere. But as curly, you don't comb, the hair is in a curl so won't fall until you wash and it looks like a lot but it isn't. So if your hair is thinning out, that isn't good. If it is breakage it is easy to fix, it means your hair needs protein and moisture, it's external. On the other hand if it is shedding, that's internal, related with stress and diet, or could be a symptom of a disease.
    Figure out why are you loosing hair, treat the root of the problem and nourish your hair back to health. Do deep condition, protein treatments, avoid heat and harsh chemicals and most importantly be patient.
    Your hair will be restored and beautiful :)
    Good luck!
    2c, dense and coarse hair.
  • Gaby.VintimiGaby.Vintimi Registered Users Posts: 124 Curl Neophyte
    I'm sorry you felt in that way and that kids were mean to you.
    Don't hate your hair, I'm sure it's beautiful and that you are beautiful wearing it natural.
    I have a similar story, kids weren't as mean as what you have said, but maybe it is because I had my hair always tightly in a pony tail or bun. Tried everything to get it to look smooth, shinny and straight. Finally convinced my mom to buy the ceramic pro flat iron. But unlike you, I couldn't manage my hair simply wouldn't get straight. So let it be and found out I had curls, never looked back, that shy and insecure kid was gone and my hair became my personality, it opened me.
    I hope you get to love your hair and make it a proud part of you, with the bad hair days, the fluffiness, the frizz and the good days, the shinny soft and perfect curl days.
    For your journey, first you need to figure out the shedding. Is it breakage? or shed? when you shed hair it comes out with the follicle, so you will see at either end a white bulb and the hair will be usually the longest hair, sine it's old hair that dies naturally. If it is breakage then you won't see the white dot, the fallen hairs will be of all sort of lengths, since it's breaking at any given spot. It's natural to shed about 100 hairs a day, as a straight hair person you don't see it because it falls in the brush, anywhere and everywhere. But as curly, you don't comb, the hair is in a curl so won't fall until you wash and it looks like a lot but it isn't. So if your hair is thinning out, that isn't good. If it is breakage it is easy to fix, it means your hair needs protein and moisture, it's external. On the other hand if it is shedding, that's internal, related with stress and diet, or could be a symptom of a disease.
    Figure out why are you loosing hair, treat the root of the problem and nourish your hair back to health. Do deep condition, protein treatments, avoid heat and harsh chemicals and most importantly be patient.
    Your hair will be restored and beautiful :)
    Good luck!
    2c, dense and coarse hair.

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