Lets Talk About Sex, Baby!

CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 10,904 Curl Connoisseur
Ok, so I need some hook up help! I was queen of this in my 20s and somewhere along the line have lost it, or maybe its just the guy.


So I've known this guy since I was late teen, early 20s. Always friends (not close, just same sort of circle) and never any interest. He is beyond good looking, a little dumb maybe though? Not sure what, just never thought of him like that. Him and his fiancé broke up last year (around Christmas (we were at a Jack & Jill in November and they were togeather, wedding was January and they had split) and he spent a good part of the summer being really flirty. I wasn't into it at all, and while joking around, told him no a few times.


It started back up about a month ago, progressed to regularly texting as opposed to just FB messages, IG, etc. Timing is not great we work kinda opposite schedules and he has full custody (Mom isn't in the picture at all) of one son, and shared with one from the ex fiancé. Weekends he has the little guy are totally out, the others would work.


Any time I've brought up getting togeather, he starts in on why all of a sudden I'm up for it. Without coming right out and saying "I would really just like to screw you!" *Sorry Rou.....I feel like my aunt is reading my diary!* I don't know what else to say! Help me please!!!!!!!! Where is that girl that would show up in a trech coat and nothing else!!! I used to be so fun lol


Share any issues you're having so I don't feel like such a loser!
I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn

Comments

  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    Are you just wanting to hook up with no strings attached? I like the idea of the trench coat. I have 2. One tan, one black. I have a FWB. He is 30 years younger than me. I had to throw that in just to brag. :) He was the one to instigate it, so I'm not sure how I would go about it. I've had several FWB thru out my many years (not at the same time) & each time they instigated it. Maybe try to look sexy when you know you will be around him & make some sultry eye contact & lick your lips a lot.:icescream:
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 10,904 Curl Connoisseur
    Yep, pretty much, I leant see it ever going anywhere. And honestly, I think the sex might suck (the whole can't be both pretty and good), but for some stupid reason I'm crazy intrigued now.

    Not doing the trench coat, have done it in the past, to me that's more relationship now lol

    The problem is he never goes out, like ever. He doesn't want to be an imposition and get a sitter for his son. Like friends for years and I've offered to babysit a million times, as have other friends and his parents, hell rarely take anyone up on it.

    I even invited him over to watch a hockey game and thought I alluded to a possible sleep over. He said ya, but then kids in the way and such and I think he thought I was joking, I need to get past that!

    And wtg with the younger guy! I was hooking up with a guy 10 years younger then me a few months ago and while great, I kept telling my friends I felt like a dirty old lady lol I do better with older guys for sure. I'm at that age though, much older and they seem like my Dad lol


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    Wait so you've suggested hanging out and he's questioning it? He sounds lame and not interested. (yes lame because what guy says no to sex?)

    Okay maybe he doesnt wanna risk ruining the friendship. I was in a similar situation. I just gave up on it. I need the guy to be more into it and he didnt seem like he'd be good either.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    On a night when you know he doesn't have to go to bed early for work, call him up and tell him you have a stiff neck that is going to keep you home sick if you can't get him to rub it out for you. Ask if you can stop by at 10pm for a quick massage.


    Or you could find out a day/time when you are both off work and the son is in school and ask him if he can come by your house to help you w/ a chore.


    It's VERY hard for single parents to do this, esp when the mother of one of the kids is totally out of the picture. My kids went w/ their father every Wed and alternate wknds. Dating was VERY stressful and difficult for me. I always managed it but I put so much effort into making it work (during that very limited time). I didn't feel right about getting babysitters.


    Does the kid who's with him fulltime ever spend the night w/ grandparents or other relatives?


    And btw, some men flirt for fun and not for results....icon_confused.gif

  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 10,904 Curl Connoisseur
    I think he thinks I'm joking around. One night we were texting, he knew I was drinking and said something about me regretting the texts in the morning.


    The one he has full time occasionally goes to the grandparents. He also just turned 13 last week, so can be left alone, not sure that's too young for over night though?


    I don't really one to go over there, one the kid would be there, two his ex lived there and she would flip if she knew I was there.
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    I think he thinks I'm joking around. One night we were texting, he knew I was drinking and said something about me regretting the texts in the morning.


    The one he has full time occasionally goes to the grandparents. He also just turned 13 last week, so can be left alone, not sure that's too young for over night though?


    I don't really one to go over there, one the kid would be there, two his ex lived there and she would flip if she knew I was there.


    You might have to be the one to go visit him bc 13 imo is a bit young for a kid to be left alone all night.


    If the kid is a heavy sleeper and there are is a lock on dad's bedroom door, it should be fine. That's how single parents roll! It really doesn't matter what the ex will think if you go over to his place; she doesn't live there anymore. And it's unlikely that she will find out.


    If you don't want to go over there, you should find out when the next trip to the grandparents will be.



    Maybe he is waiting for you to repeat the texts when you are sober! lol

  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 10,904 Curl Connoisseur
    Maybe he is waiting for you to repeat the texts when you are sober! lol


    I think this is what I need to do! We do text somewhat regularly, I need to get across no confusion though lol
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    Any updates? My life has been pretty boring lately. Busy with work and other things to get ready for the summer.
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 10,904 Curl Connoisseur
    Nada, lots of talking that's it. Out of my court, if he's interested he can make the move.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    Nada, lots of talking that's it. Out of my court, if he's interested he can make the move.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk



    Did you give him the green light, tho? There are extenuating circumstances bc you turned him down before when he tried. So the onus is on you now to convince things have changed.

  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 10,904 Curl Connoisseur
    Nada, lots of talking that's it. Out of my court, if he's interested he can make the move.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk



    Did you give him the green light, tho? There are extenuating circumstances bc you turned him down before when he tried. So the onus is on you now to convince things have changed.


    Soooo lazy!!!!!


    And that's how this all started, I am no longer the girl who just says lets hook up. Maybe in person, not over text though!


    And yes, this isn't just me being cocky, I really think the issue is he thinks I'm just messing around and not serious though.
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    So....isn't up to you to change his perception of what you really want?
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 10,904 Curl Connoisseur
    Josephine wrote: »
    So....isn't up to you to change his perception of what you really want?



    Probably, I'm not putting that much work into a hook up though. I was into it a few weeks ago, I've lost interest now....on to another :)
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • CatitudeBooCatitudeBoo Registered Users Posts: 590 Curl Connoisseur
    Despite being in a relationship, I haven't had sex in nearly 2 years. Our relationship is sexless and we sleep in separate bedrooms. So far I've been OK with just masturbating & looking at porn but there is this super hot 6'4" mixed Black/White guy who works at my job - and we are in the same department. The "juices" are flowing again (TMI?) and we spend 7-8 hours per day with each other, 5 days a week. I'm pretty sure he has some attraction towards me too. We can and have talked for hours about nearly every subject under the sun.

    Anyway, my bf and I have an arrangement (open relationship) so if I have sex with my co-worker, I wouldn't be cheating BUT the main issue is that he's a work colleague. I wouldn't feel comfortable sleeping with him until either of us isn't with the company, or in the same damn building anymore (this building is small too).

    Despite being in a non-monogamous relationship, I haven't taken advantage of the "privileges". We opened our relationship up in February. My boyfriend had sex with someone else 2 days ago (his first time in over 2 years). I don't really care. However, this work crush + bf f***ing someone else is really making me feel conflicted yet eager. It's like, "my turn!"

    What do y'all think? Should I wait until we aren't working together?

    I really want to have sex with co-worker but I don't want this to jeopardize my job. As the situation stands now, the reward is not worth the risk.
    CG since Dec. 2013  B)
    3b/c ~ fine ~ high porosity ~ low density
    No-Poo: SheaMoisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Shampoo 
    RO: Tresemme Botanique Nourish & Replenish Conditioner 
    Stylers: Tresemme Flawless Curls Mousse & Extra Hold Hairspray 


  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 10,904 Curl Connoisseur
    What's work guys relationship status? Are you willing to leave BF if feelings start?


    As far as the open thing, I would be ok with that, you sound more like roomates then anything. Work relationships can get tricky though. Awesome while they're going well, but can be terrible (both personally & professionally) if things go bad.
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • CatitudeBooCatitudeBoo Registered Users Posts: 590 Curl Connoisseur
    What's work guys relationship status? Are you willing to leave BF if feelings start?

    My co-worker is single. He tells me he's been single for 9 years and hasn't been on a date in a year-and-a-half (He's 32, I'm 30). I have not disclosed any of my relationship woes or the fact I'm in an open r/s with him. I think that would display a false sense of intimacy between us.

    Great question, CC! I'm not sure if I'm willing to leave BF. This relationship, albeit dysfuctional and passionless, is comfortable and convenient. My BF has a corporate job and I'm well taken care of. Work crush has no vehicle & sells weed on the side. I would like this to be a sex-only thing but with women, it rarely is JUST and ONLY about sex.
    CG since Dec. 2013  B)
    3b/c ~ fine ~ high porosity ~ low density
    No-Poo: SheaMoisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Shampoo 
    RO: Tresemme Botanique Nourish & Replenish Conditioner 
    Stylers: Tresemme Flawless Curls Mousse & Extra Hold Hairspray 


  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 10,904 Curl Connoisseur
    LOL!!!


    I have a very similar story, but have to get back to work...I'll post it later!
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • CatitudeBooCatitudeBoo Registered Users Posts: 590 Curl Connoisseur
    LOL!!!


    I have a very similar story, but have to get back to work...I'll post it later!

    Thanks CC! I am eagerly awaiting your story too. Hope work goes well for you :D
    CG since Dec. 2013  B)
    3b/c ~ fine ~ high porosity ~ low density
    No-Poo: SheaMoisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Shampoo 
    RO: Tresemme Botanique Nourish & Replenish Conditioner 
    Stylers: Tresemme Flawless Curls Mousse & Extra Hold Hairspray 


  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    I don't recommend getting involved with a co worker, especially in a small office. I have heard too many bad stories & I made the mistake myself.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • CatitudeBooCatitudeBoo Registered Users Posts: 590 Curl Connoisseur
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    I don't recommend getting involved with a co worker, especially in a small office. I have heard too many bad stories & I made the mistake myself.

    Yes, you are right. The more I think about it, it's not worth the risk! And for what? Dick? No dick is worth jeopardizing my job over. My good friend told me these golden words, "if you do hook up with him and it goes badly, you're going to be judged more harshly - not him."

    Besides, I have more than just a physical attraction to him and no matter how hard I try to convince myself that it would be "just sex" - I know I'll develop feelings and THAT would be a disaster, professionally and emotionally.
    CG since Dec. 2013  B)
    3b/c ~ fine ~ high porosity ~ low density
    No-Poo: SheaMoisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Shampoo 
    RO: Tresemme Botanique Nourish & Replenish Conditioner 
    Stylers: Tresemme Flawless Curls Mousse & Extra Hold Hairspray 


  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    I have a friend who when he was single had a couple of FWBs. He had a rule to not kiss becuz that was more intimate than sex. I agree, especially for women.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • CatitudeBooCatitudeBoo Registered Users Posts: 590 Curl Connoisseur
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    I have a friend who when he was single had a couple of FWBs. He had a rule to not kiss becuz that was more intimate than sex.

    I agree and I feel similarly about oral sex. Having my face is someone's junk (and vice versa) is more personal than intercourse, especially a position like doggy or dragon.

    I knew a polyamorous couple a few years back and that was one of their stipulations....the husband could have intercourse with other women but no kissing.
    CG since Dec. 2013  B)
    3b/c ~ fine ~ high porosity ~ low density
    No-Poo: SheaMoisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Shampoo 
    RO: Tresemme Botanique Nourish & Replenish Conditioner 
    Stylers: Tresemme Flawless Curls Mousse & Extra Hold Hairspray 


  • WavesNCurls1WavesNCurls1 Registered Users Posts: 8 Curl Neophyte
    I'm only 24 and became a mother at 21. I used to be very sexual and into a lot of things, but now I feel like my sex drive is non-existent. Not sure if it's the father of my daughter (we're together but not married) or I'm really just boring.

    It's kind of depressing because I thought I'd be into the groove until I'm like 50 or something, but no, right now I'm already worried. Sigh. So yeah, you're not a loser AT ALL.
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 10,904 Curl Connoisseur
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    I have a friend who when he was single had a couple of FWBs. He had a rule to not kiss becuz that was more intimate than sex.

    I agree and I feel similarly about oral sex. Having my face is someone's junk (and vice versa) is more personal than intercourse, especially a position like doggy or dragon.

    I knew a polyamorous couple a few years back and that was one of their stipulations....the husband could have intercourse with other women but no kissing.


    Seriously!!! Its so much more personal then sex, I have to really like you for that to happen lol
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file